Fewer students choose scientific subjects . What are the cause and effects of this trend

Some of those saying that the scientific disciplinces are leading the tendancy of lower participation of students compared to the rests. I would strongly believe that not many learners in these days are opting for these subjects in curricular due to a wide range of reasons, taking both pros and cons effect on modern society
It is a persuasive noteworthy reason that scientific programms almost require learners long-term training and exhobirant fees to accomplish these courses. Obviously, the demand underlying expenses for scientists and facilities to carry out an experiment in the lab are significant, exceedinng the average income of students, not to say those who are not able to pay for their academic tuition fees. On top of that, while students who don not register in scientific subjects spend moderate time for accquiring knowledge and experience the scientific learners have to trade off their private time for practicing and researching. This somehow causes to sense of depression, stress and lethargy for their beloved ones. Moreover, the number of students seeking for career prospects in these major are on the wane due to competitive and unemployed labour market
It must be said that the fewer scientific enrollment is not equivalent to the shortage of employees in these catergories. Thankfully, the progressively unprecedented development of technology has propelled the mordenity and applicability of AI via the advent of robot, gradually becoming proper alternatives for humans. Having said that, the decrease in scientific learners poses the related risks namely the insufficent employees working in reseaching section, or innovative inventions
In conclusion, scientific syllabus are no more interested in students enough although those are of paramount importance

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"disciplinces" -> "disciplines"
Explanation: "Disciplinces" is a misspelling. "Disciplines" is the correct term for academic fields or areas of study.
"rests" -> "others"
Explanation: "Rests" is too informal in this context. "Others" is a more suitable and precise term for referring to non-scientific subjects.
"learners" -> "students" or "individuals"
Explanation: While "learners" is not incorrect, "students" or "individuals" are more commonly used in formal writing, especially when referring to those in an educational context.
"curricular" -> "curriculum"
Explanation: "Curricular" is an adjective, while "curriculum" is the noun form that correctly denotes the subjects or content of a course of study.
"pros and cons effect" -> "impact, encompassing both advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Pros and cons effect" is awkward and lacks precision. The suggested alternative provides a clearer and more concise description of the various impacts.
"not to say those who are not able to pay for their academic tuition fees" -> "let alone those unable to afford tuition fees"
Explanation: The original phrase is cumbersome and unclear. The suggested alternative offers a more concise and polished expression of the idea.
"those who don not register" -> "individuals who do not enroll"
Explanation: "Don not register" contains a typographical error and uses informal language. "Individuals who do not enroll" is a clearer and more formal alternative.
"accquiring" -> "acquiring"
Explanation: "Accquiring" is a misspelling. "Acquiring" is the correct form of the verb.
"the scientific learners" -> "students pursuing scientific studies" or "those studying scientific disciplines"
Explanation: "The scientific learners" is awkward and lacks clarity. The suggested alternatives provide more precise descriptions of individuals engaged in scientific education.
"causes to sense" -> "leads to feelings"
Explanation: "Causes to sense" is unclear and awkward. "Leads to feelings" provides a clearer expression of the intended meaning.
"beloved ones" -> "loved ones"
Explanation: "Beloved ones" is somewhat overly sentimental and informal for an academic essay. "Loved ones" is a more neutral and appropriate term.
"career prospects in these major" -> "career opportunities in these fields"
Explanation: "Career prospects in these major" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Career opportunities in these fields" is a more precise and grammatically correct alternative.
"the wane" -> "decline"
Explanation: "The wane" is slightly archaic and less commonly used in modern academic writing. "Decline" is a more straightforward and appropriate term.
"unemployed labour market" -> "job market characterized by unemployment"
Explanation: "Unemployed labour market" is not incorrect but sounds somewhat awkward. The suggested alternative provides a clearer description of the job market condition.
"unprecedented development of technology" -> "remarkable advancements in technology"
Explanation: While "unprecedented development" is not incorrect, "remarkable advancements" is a more concise and precise description of technological progress.
"propelled the mordenity" -> "driven modernization"
Explanation: "Propelled the mordenity" is unclear and awkward. "Driven modernization" is a more precise and concise expression of the idea.
"applicability of AI via the advent of robot" -> "applicability of AI through the emergence of robotics"
Explanation: "Advent of robot" is not grammatically correct. "Emergence of robotics" is a more accurate and suitable term for describing the development of AI technology.
"proper alternatives for humans" -> "viable substitutes for human labor"
Explanation: "Proper alternatives for humans" is somewhat ambiguous. "Viable substitutes for human labor" provides a clearer description of the role of AI.
"the decrease in scientific learners poses the related risks namely the insufficent employees" -> "the decline in students pursuing scientific studies poses risks such as a shortage of qualified professionals"
Explanation: The original sentence is convoluted and unclear. The suggested alternative offers a clearer and more concise expression of the idea.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both the causes and effects of the trend of fewer students choosing scientific subjects. It discusses reasons such as the high costs associated with scientific programs, the time commitment required, and the competitive job market. However, the discussion lacks depth and clarity, with some points being vaguely articulated.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should provide more specific examples and elaborate further on the causes and effects. Additionally, ensuring that each point is clearly connected to the prompt and thoroughly explained would strengthen the overall response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a somewhat clear position throughout, arguing that various factors contribute to the decline in students opting for scientific subjects. However, the stance could be more effectively articulated and reinforced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the essay should explicitly state its position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph supports the central argument would help reinforce the essay’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas but lacks depth in extending and supporting them adequately. While it mentions factors such as high costs and time commitments, it fails to provide detailed examples or evidence to bolster these points.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation of ideas, the essay should provide specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to support each argument. Additionally, expanding on each idea and providing more detailed explanations would enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the causes and effects of the trend of fewer students choosing scientific subjects. However, there are instances of vague or tangential points that detract from the overall focus.
- How to improve: To maintain better focus, the essay should ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the prompt and avoids tangential discussions. Additionally, clearly linking each point back to the central theme would help maintain coherence and relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents some valid points, it would benefit from greater depth, clarity, and coherence in its argumentation. By providing more specific examples, reinforcing its central position, and staying focused on the topic, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of logical organization. It begins with an introduction that presents the issue and outlines the reasons for the decline in students opting for scientific subjects. The body paragraphs discuss these reasons, covering aspects such as financial constraints and career prospects. The conclusion briefly summarizes the main points. However, the flow of ideas could be smoother, with some abrupt transitions between paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay more clearly with distinct topic sentences for each paragraph. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve coherence. Additionally, develop each point more thoroughly to provide a deeper analysis of the causes and effects of the trend.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the structure within each paragraph could be improved. Each paragraph tends to contain multiple ideas without clear delineation, which can make it challenging for the reader to follow the argument effectively.
- How to improve: Focus on creating well-structured paragraphs, with each paragraph centered around a single main idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. This will improve clarity and coherence within the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases (e.g., "moreover," "in conclusion"). However, there is limited variety, and some transitions feel forced or awkward, impacting the overall coherence.
- How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to create smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using a mix of conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Ensure that cohesive devices are used naturally to enhance readability and flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic level of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in organizing information more logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. Strengthening these aspects will enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay, ultimately leading to a more cohesive argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempt to vary word choice. However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain terms ("scientific subjects," "students," "scientific learners"), and some phrases lack precision and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer could incorporate more diverse terminology related to scientific education and its implications. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "scientific subjects," they could employ synonyms like "STEM disciplines," "technical fields," or "scientific domains." Additionally, employing more nuanced vocabulary to articulate ideas and arguments would elevate the essay’s sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary effectively to convey meaning, but there are instances of imprecise or awkward phrasing that detract from clarity. For example, "taking both pros and cons effect on modern society" could be more precisely expressed as "considering both the positive and negative impacts on contemporary society."
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive for clarity and accuracy in expression. This can be achieved by carefully selecting words that accurately convey intended meanings and by avoiding ambiguous or vague language. Revising sentences for clarity and coherence would enhance the essay’s overall effectiveness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally acceptable, with minor errors present throughout. For instance, "exhobirant" should be "exorbitant," "don" should be "don’t," "reseaching" should be "researching," and "mordenity" should be "modernity."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should consider proofreading their work carefully and utilizing spelling and grammar check tools. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling through writing exercises can aid in improving spelling proficiency. Developing a habit of revising written work for spelling errors before submission is also advisable.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.5-7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency to use repetitive structures, such as starting sentences with "It is" or "Moreover." This limits the range of expression and could be improved by incorporating more diverse sentence structures, such as compound sentences or conditional sentences, to enhance clarity and sophistication.
- How to improve: To improve the range of structures, try incorporating different types of sentences, such as compound or complex sentences, to convey ideas more effectively. Varying the length and structure of sentences can help maintain the reader’s interest and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a moderate level of grammatical accuracy, but there are several errors present. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("programms almost require learners long-term training," "those who are not able to pay for their academic tuition fees"), incorrect word forms ("exceedinng," "don not register"), and awkward phrasing ("the tendancy of lower participation of students compared to the rests," "the advent of robot").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word forms. Additionally, review the proper use of articles (e.g., "the," "a/an") and prepositions to ensure correct usage. Reading more English texts and practicing writing can also help improve grammar skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an adequate level of grammatical range and accuracy, but there is room for improvement in both areas. Focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is observed by many that scientific disciplines are experiencing a decline in student participation compared to other fields. I firmly believe that the decreasing interest in these subjects among learners today can be attributed to various factors, which have both positive and negative impacts on modern society.

One compelling reason for the low enrollment in scientific programs is the extensive training periods and high fees associated with these courses. Undoubtedly, the substantial costs involved in conducting experiments in laboratory settings surpass the average income of students, let alone those who cannot afford tuition fees. Additionally, while students in non-scientific disciplines devote moderate time to acquiring knowledge and experience, scientific learners must sacrifice their personal time for practical work and research, leading to feelings of depression, stress, and lethargy among them. Furthermore, the dwindling number of students pursuing careers in these fields can be attributed to the competitive and increasingly unstable job market.

However, it should be noted that the decline in scientific enrollment does not necessarily translate to a shortage of skilled professionals in these fields. Thanks to the rapid advancements in technology, particularly in the realm of artificial intelligence (AI) and robotics, modern innovations are becoming increasingly applicable and accessible. Consequently, AI and robots are gradually emerging as viable alternatives to human labor. Nevertheless, the reduction in scientific learners poses potential risks, such as a shortage of skilled researchers and innovative breakthroughs.

In conclusion, despite the paramount importance of scientific education, it is evident that these disciplines are failing to capture the interest of students as they once did.