Films were produced by big companies in the past, but today people are able to make a film. Do you think this trend is positive or negative?

A few centuries ago, people could only enjoy films produced by big companies. However, things have changed since people can now also make films due to the improvement in technology and filming and editing tools. In this essay, I will discuss the trends to show that although this is a positive development, I consider that there are many drawbacks to these issues
To begin with, films made by big companies are usually better quality than ones made independently. Large film crews focus more on making quality images and overall content. Additionally, when a production company supports a film, the filmmakers can invite famous actors, which makes the film more prestigious. There is no doubt that movies that win awards like "Golden Kite" or "Most Inspirational Film of the Year" often come from big companies like "Lupin" or "Mission Impossible". However, Filmmakers can't be sure if their movies will make money or not problems in this industry always be financial and reputation problems for the company, producers and writers.
In contrast, independently produced films often suffer from technical deficiencies such as low resolution, poor sound quality, and inadequate lighting. These limitations can significantly impact the viewer's experience. Furthermore, a lack of professional guidance frequently results in shallow, unconvincing narratives, underdeveloped characters, and inconsistent pacing. These shortcomings, combined with amateurish performances, often alienate audiences and contribute to a negative perception of independent cinema.
In conclusion, it cannot be denied that although there are many excellent small films made by people, however, most of the small films come from spontaneous inspiration and are made carelessly. On the contrary, big films, although having many risks, can still affirm their quality and content.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"A few centuries ago" -> "Several decades ago"
Explanation: "A few centuries ago" is an exaggeration and not precise. "Several decades ago" provides a more accurate timeframe for the historical context discussed in the essay, aligning better with academic style.
"people could only enjoy films produced by big companies" -> "audiences were limited to films produced by major studios"
Explanation: "people could only enjoy" is informal and vague. "audiences were limited to" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"things have changed" -> "conditions have evolved"
Explanation: "things have changed" is too general and informal. "conditions have evolved" is more specific and academically appropriate, indicating a gradual development.
"due to the improvement in technology and filming and editing tools" -> "owing to advancements in technology and filmmaking equipment"
Explanation: "improvement" and "filming and editing tools" are vague and informal. "advancements" and "filmmaking equipment" are more precise and formal terms.
"I will discuss the trends to show" -> "I will examine the trends to illustrate"
Explanation: "I will discuss" is somewhat informal and vague. "I will examine" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic tone.
"I consider that there are many drawbacks to these issues" -> "I contend that there are numerous drawbacks to these developments"
Explanation: "I consider that" is informal and lacks specificity. "I contend that" is more assertive and formal, and "numerous drawbacks" is more precise than "many drawbacks."
"Large film crews focus more on making quality images" -> "Large film crews prioritize producing high-quality visuals"
Explanation: "making quality images" is informal and vague. "producing high-quality visuals" is more specific and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"famous actors" -> "well-known actors"
Explanation: "famous" can be seen as informal and subjective. "well-known" is more objective and formal, fitting the academic style.
"There is no doubt that movies that win awards like ‘Golden Kite’ or ‘Most Inspirational Film of the Year’ often come from big companies like ‘Lupin’ or ‘Mission Impossible’" -> "It is evident that films that receive awards such as ‘Golden Kite’ or ‘Most Inspirational Film of the Year’ frequently originate from major studios like ‘Lupin’ or ‘Mission Impossible’"
Explanation: "There is no doubt that" is colloquial and less formal. "It is evident that" is more academically appropriate. Also, "big companies" is replaced with "major studios" for precision and formality.
"Filmmakers can’t be sure if their movies will make money or not" -> "filmmakers are uncertain about the financial viability of their projects"
Explanation: "can’t be sure if their movies will make money or not" is informal and lacks precision. "are uncertain about the financial viability of their projects" is more formal and specific, suitable for an academic essay.
"problems in this industry always be financial and reputation problems for the company, producers and writers" -> "the industry consistently faces financial and reputational challenges for the company, producers, and writers"
Explanation: "problems in this industry always be" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "the industry consistently faces" is grammatically correct and formal, and "financial and reputational challenges" is a more precise term than "financial and reputation problems."
"small films made by people" -> "small films produced by individuals"
Explanation: "made by people" is informal and vague. "produced by individuals" is more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"however, most of the small films come from spontaneous inspiration and are made carelessly" -> "however, most small films originate from spontaneous inspiration and are often produced carelessly"
Explanation: "come from" is less formal than "originate from," and "are made carelessly" is less precise than "are often produced carelessly." These changes enhance the formality and clarity of the statement.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the trend where individuals can now produce films. The introduction sets the stage for this discussion, indicating that the author will explore the trend’s implications. However, while the essay mentions both sides, it leans more towards the negative aspects of independent films without fully developing the positive side of the trend. For example, the essay could have elaborated on the creative freedom and diverse voices that independent filmmakers bring to the industry.
- How to improve: To more comprehensively address all elements of the question, the author should ensure that both the positive and negative aspects are given equal weight. This could involve dedicating a paragraph to the benefits of independent filmmaking, such as innovation, diversity, and accessibility, and providing examples to illustrate these points.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position that the author views the trend as having drawbacks, but the phrasing in the introduction is somewhat ambiguous. The phrase "I consider that there are many drawbacks to these issues" could be misinterpreted as suggesting that the author believes the trend is entirely negative. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the negative aspects without clearly stating a definitive position on whether the trend is overall positive or negative.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should explicitly state their stance in the introduction and conclusion. A more definitive statement, such as "While independent filmmaking has its merits, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits," would help clarify the author’s perspective. Consistent language throughout the essay that reinforces this position would also enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the quality of films produced by big companies versus independent filmmakers. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat lacking. For instance, while the author mentions that big companies can attract famous actors, there is no specific example or data to back this claim. Additionally, the discussion of independent films focuses heavily on their shortcomings without providing examples of successful independent films or filmmakers who have made significant contributions to cinema.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the author should include specific examples and evidence. This could involve mentioning notable independent films that have gained recognition or discussing how technology has enabled filmmakers to produce high-quality content on smaller budgets. Providing statistics or references to studies on audience reception could also strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of the trend towards independent filmmaking. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly when discussing the financial risks associated with big companies. While this is relevant, it could be more directly tied back to the main argument about the overall trend of filmmaking.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the question of whether the trend is positive or negative. This could involve linking discussions about financial risks back to how they affect the quality and availability of films, thereby reinforcing the central argument throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, but it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the prompt, clearer positioning, stronger supporting evidence, and tighter focus on the main question.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to contrast the quality of films produced by big companies with those made independently. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the advantages of big companies to the drawbacks of independent films could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the conclusion is somewhat repetitive and could be more concise. The introduction also lacks a clear thesis statement, which would help in guiding the reader through the subsequent arguments.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. The conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas or repeating previous statements. A more definitive thesis statement in the introduction would also provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "in contrast," and "to begin with." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "However, Filmmakers can’t be sure if their movies will make money or not" lacks a clear link to the preceding sentence, which could confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "for instance," and "consequently." Additionally, ensuring that each cohesive device is appropriately placed will help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "prestigious," "technical deficiencies," and "amateurish performances" showcasing some variety. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "big companies" and "independently produced films," which could be expressed using synonyms or varied phrasing to enhance the richness of the language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "big companies," alternatives like "major studios" or "large production houses" could be employed.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. Reading a variety of texts, such as articles and essays on film production, can provide exposure to diverse vocabulary. Additionally, practicing paraphrasing sentences can help in developing a more varied lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "problems in this industry always be financial and reputation problems" is awkward and unclear. The word "always" is incorrectly used here, and the phrase could be more clearly articulated. Additionally, the term "small films" could be misleading; it would be more accurate to refer to them as "independent films" or "low-budget films" to convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and grammatical correctness. Reviewing sentence structures and ensuring that word choices accurately reflect the intended meaning is essential. Engaging in exercises that emphasize the use of contextually appropriate vocabulary can also aid in this area.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with few errors present. However, there is a notable mistake in the phrase "however, most of the small films come from spontaneous inspiration and are made carelessly," where the use of "however" at the beginning of the sentence is grammatically incorrect in this context. This could lead to confusion regarding the intended contrast.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, focusing on common spelling errors and grammatical structures. Utilizing tools like spell checkers and engaging in regular writing practice can also help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, reading widely can improve familiarity with correct spelling and usage in context.

In summary, while the essay reflects a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By actively expanding vocabulary, focusing on precise language use, and practicing spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as "However, things have changed since people can now also make films due to the improvement in technology and filming and editing tools." This sentence effectively combines multiple ideas, showcasing the writer’s ability to construct more sophisticated sentences. However, the essay also contains several simpler sentences that could be varied further. For example, the sentence "To begin with, films made by big companies are usually better quality than ones made independently" could be rephrased to include more complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional phrases.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex and compound sentences. For instance, using conditional clauses (e.g., "If independent films had better funding, they could compete more effectively with big productions") or relative clauses (e.g., "Films, which are produced by large companies, often benefit from higher budgets") can add depth and complexity to the writing. Additionally, varying the sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases) can create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, in the sentence "However, Filmmakers can’t be sure if their movies will make money or not problems in this industry always be financial and reputation problems for the company, producers and writers," there are several issues: the capitalization of "Filmmakers" is incorrect, and the sentence lacks clarity due to improper punctuation and structure. The phrase "or not problems in this industry always be" is particularly confusing and grammatically incorrect.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on sentence clarity and punctuation. Breaking down complex sentences into simpler, clearer statements can help. For example, the problematic sentence could be revised to: "However, filmmakers can’t be sure if their movies will make money. Problems in this industry often include financial and reputational issues for the company, producers, and writers." Additionally, reviewing common punctuation rules, such as the use of commas in complex sentences and ensuring proper capitalization, will enhance overall accuracy. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement, particularly in diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Bài sửa mẫu

A few decades ago, people could only enjoy films produced by major companies. However, conditions have evolved since people can now also make films owing to advancements in technology and filmmaking equipment. In this essay, I will examine the trends to illustrate that although this is a positive development, I contend that there are numerous drawbacks to these developments.

To begin with, films made by major companies are usually of better quality than those made independently. Large film crews prioritize producing high-quality visuals and overall content. Additionally, when a production company supports a film, the filmmakers can invite well-known actors, which makes the film more prestigious. There is no doubt that movies that win awards like “Golden Kite” or “Most Inspirational Film of the Year” often originate from major studios like “Lupin” or “Mission Impossible.” However, filmmakers are uncertain about the financial viability of their projects, and problems in this industry consistently lead to financial and reputational challenges for the company, producers, and writers.

In contrast, independently produced films often suffer from technical deficiencies such as low resolution, poor sound quality, and inadequate lighting. These limitations can significantly impact the viewer’s experience. Furthermore, a lack of professional guidance frequently results in shallow, unconvincing narratives, underdeveloped characters, and inconsistent pacing. These shortcomings, combined with amateurish performances, often alienate audiences and contribute to a negative perception of independent cinema.

In conclusion, it cannot be denied that although there are many excellent small films made by individuals, most of these films originate from spontaneous inspiration and are often produced carelessly. On the contrary, big films, although having many risks, can still affirm their quality and content.