Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today.
What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

The global temperature has increased on a yearly basis. This raised an alert to governments and environmental activists to take strict actions to reduce the heating speed on the planet's surface. Experts believe that most of the human activities have contributed to global warming. In this essay, I will discuss the measurement and what caused it.
Many researchers believe that the consumption of fossil fuels was the main reason that led to global warming, especially using them for energy. Burning fossil fuels for energy was the main single contributor to emit carbon dioxide which is one type of greenhouse gasses linked directly to the global temperature. For instance, transportation using fossil fuels such as cars, cargo ships and trains. Not only them, but also industrial factories. There is a research shows that more than half of the carbon dioxide in the world was emitted into the planet by industrial factories. On the other hand, It can be seen that trees and jungles play crucial roles in regulating the climate and promoting a healthy environment. However, through deforestation for agriculture and logging, people are creating a loss of forest, leading to an increasing amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
One of the most effective methods to address global warming is to change from using fossil fuels to renewable energy sources. Using eco-friendly sources such as solar, wind, and hydropower can help reduce greenhouse gas emissions and allow companies and countries to save more money in the long run. As a result, a sustainable energy system can make way for better living standards and healthier lives. The second measurement is that governments should enact more strict laws on deforestation and punish violators severely. This might help reduce the deforestation all around the planet

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The global temperature has increased on a yearly basis." -> "The global temperature has risen annually."
Explanation: "Risen annually" is a more precise and formal way to describe the annual increase in global temperature, aligning better with academic style.
"This raised an alert to governments and environmental activists" -> "This has prompted governments and environmental activists to take action"
Explanation: "Prompted" is more specific and formal than "raised an alert," and "take action" is more precise than "take strict actions," which is redundant and informal.
"reduce the heating speed on the planet’s surface" -> "slow the rate of global warming"
Explanation: "Slow the rate of global warming" is a more precise and scientifically accurate term than "reduce the heating speed on the planet’s surface."
"Most of the human activities have contributed to global warming." -> "Many human activities have contributed to global warming."
Explanation: "Many" is more precise than "most," which is vague and can be misleading. Also, "have contributed" is more formal than "have contributed to."
"the main reason that led to global warming" -> "the primary cause of global warming"
Explanation: "Primary cause" is a more formal and precise term than "main reason," which is somewhat colloquial.
"using them for energy" -> "for energy production"
Explanation: "For energy production" is more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"emit carbon dioxide which is one type of greenhouse gasses" -> "emit carbon dioxide, a type of greenhouse gas"
Explanation: "A type of greenhouse gas" is grammatically correct and more formal than "one type of greenhouse gasses."
"Not only them, but also industrial factories." -> "Not only transportation but also industrial factories."
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the subject by specifying "transportation."
"There is a research shows" -> "Research shows"
Explanation: "Research shows" is grammatically correct and more direct, avoiding the unnecessary article "a."
"leading to an increasing amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere" -> "resulting in increased atmospheric carbon dioxide levels"
Explanation: "Resulting in increased atmospheric carbon dioxide levels" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"One of the most effective methods to address global warming is to change from using fossil fuels to renewable energy sources." -> "One effective method to mitigate global warming is to transition from fossil fuels to renewable energy sources."
Explanation: "Mitigate" is more precise than "address," and "transition" is a more formal term than "change."
"Using eco-friendly sources such as solar, wind, and hydropower" -> "Utilizing eco-friendly sources such as solar, wind, and hydropower"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is more formal than "using," and aligns better with academic style.
"can help reduce greenhouse gas emissions and allow companies and countries to save more money in the long run" -> "can reduce greenhouse gas emissions and enable companies and countries to save costs in the long term"
Explanation: "Enable" is more formal than "allow," and "save costs" is more precise than "save more money," which is vague and informal.
"The second measurement is that governments should enact more strict laws on deforestation and punish violators severely." -> "A second measure is that governments should enact stricter laws on deforestation and impose severe penalties on violators."
Explanation: "A second measure" is more formal than "The second measurement," and "impose severe penalties" is more precise and formal than "punish violators severely."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies causes of global warming, such as fossil fuel consumption and deforestation, and suggests measures to tackle the issue, including a transition to renewable energy and stricter laws on deforestation. However, the discussion of causes is somewhat limited and could benefit from more depth. For instance, while the essay mentions transportation and industrial emissions, it does not explore other significant contributors such as agriculture or waste management.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay could include a broader range of causes, such as methane emissions from livestock or waste decomposition. Additionally, discussing more varied measures, such as public awareness campaigns or international agreements, would enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that global warming is a critical issue and outlines the need for action. However, the transition between discussing causes and solutions could be smoother. The phrase "In this essay, I will discuss the measurement and what caused it" is vague and could mislead the reader about the essay’s focus.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the introduction could explicitly state the intent to explore both causes and solutions in a more structured manner. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can also help reinforce the main argument throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the causes of global warming and potential solutions. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the mention of renewable energy sources is positive, but it lacks specific examples or statistics that could strengthen the argument. The discussion of deforestation laws is also brief and could benefit from elaboration on how such laws could be effectively implemented.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and substantiate ideas, the essay should include more detailed examples, such as specific countries successfully implementing renewable energy initiatives or case studies on the impact of deforestation laws. Incorporating data and research findings would also provide a stronger foundation for the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the causes of global warming and the measures to combat it. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharper. For instance, the phrase "the measurement" appears to be a typographical error and should be corrected to "measures," which could confuse readers. Additionally, the transition between discussing causes and solutions could be more cohesive.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the essay should ensure that all terminology is accurate and clear. Furthermore, using transitional phrases to connect ideas and sections can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively, ensuring that each point builds on the previous one.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, enhancing the depth of analysis, clarity of position, and support for arguments would elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical progression of ideas, moving from the causes of global warming to potential solutions. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, although the phrase "the measurement and what caused it" is somewhat vague and could be clearer. The body paragraphs are structured to first identify the causes, such as fossil fuel consumption and deforestation, followed by suggested measures to combat global warming. However, the transition between the causes and solutions could be smoother, as there is a slight abruptness when shifting from one topic to the other.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the causes to the solutions. For example, after discussing the causes, a sentence like "In light of these causes, it is imperative that we explore viable solutions" could serve as a more cohesive bridge between the two sections.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, with one paragraph dedicated to causes and another to solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For instance, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing solely on fossil fuels and the other on deforestation. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each cause and enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For example, start the paragraph on fossil fuels with a sentence like "The primary cause of global warming is the excessive use of fossil fuels." This would help readers follow the argument more easily and understand the focus of each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the other hand" and "However," which help to contrast ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the transition from discussing fossil fuels to the role of trees lacks a cohesive link, making the flow feel disjointed.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore" to add information or "Consequently" to indicate results. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically connects to the next. For example, when transitioning from fossil fuels to deforestation, a phrase like "In addition to fossil fuel consumption, deforestation also significantly contributes to global warming" would create a more seamless connection.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant information, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher score in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of global warming, such as "fossil fuels," "greenhouse gases," and "renewable energy sources." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the term "fossil fuels" appears multiple times without variation, and phrases like "global warming" and "carbon dioxide" are used frequently without synonyms or paraphrasing. This limits the lexical diversity that is expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "fossil fuels," alternatives like "non-renewable energy sources" or "carbon-based fuels" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "climate change" instead of always saying "global warming" can add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes relevant vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the main single contributor to emit carbon dioxide" could be more clearly stated as "the primary source of carbon dioxide emissions." The phrase "there is a research shows" is grammatically incorrect and should be "there is research that shows." Such inaccuracies can lead to confusion and detract from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical structures and ensure that phrases are used correctly. It is beneficial to revise sentences for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, instead of "There is a research shows," the writer could say, "Research indicates that…" This not only corrects the grammar but also enhances the overall clarity of the writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "gasses" instead of the correct "gases" and "measurement" instead of "measures." These errors can undermine the professionalism of the essay and distract the reader from the content.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can be beneficial. Keeping a list of frequently used terms and their correct spellings can also aid in improving overall spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in vocabulary related to the topic of global warming, there are notable areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and focusing on spelling, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of a complex sentence in "Experts believe that most of the human activities have contributed to global warming" effectively conveys a nuanced idea. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where many sentences begin with "Burning fossil fuels" or "There is a research shows." This repetition can detract from the overall fluency and variety of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should aim to incorporate more introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with the subject, the writer could use phrases like "In addition to fossil fuels, industrial activities also contribute significantly to carbon emissions." This approach not only diversifies sentence openings but also improves the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "There is a research shows" should be corrected to "There is research that shows" or "Research shows." Additionally, the phrase "Not only them, but also industrial factories" is awkwardly constructed; it would be clearer as "Not only do they contribute, but industrial factories also play a significant role." Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary capitalization of "It" in "On the other hand, It can be seen," also detract from the overall accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and conjunctions. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focused on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation and capitalization errors before submission can help catch mistakes that may otherwise go unnoticed.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Bài sửa mẫu

The global temperature has increased on a yearly basis. This has raised an alert for governments and environmental activists to take strict actions to slow the rate of global warming on the planet’s surface. Experts believe that many human activities have contributed to global warming. In this essay, I will discuss the causes and what measures can be taken to tackle this issue.

Many researchers believe that the consumption of fossil fuels is the primary cause of global warming, especially when used for energy production. Burning fossil fuels for energy is the main contributor to the emission of carbon dioxide, a type of greenhouse gas linked directly to rising global temperatures. For instance, transportation using fossil fuels, such as cars, cargo ships, and trains, contributes significantly to this problem. Not only transportation but also industrial factories play a major role. Research shows that more than half of the carbon dioxide in the world is emitted into the atmosphere by industrial factories. On the other hand, it can be seen that trees and jungles play crucial roles in regulating the climate and promoting a healthy environment. However, through deforestation for agriculture and logging, people are causing a loss of forests, leading to an increasing amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.

One of the most effective methods to address global warming is to transition from fossil fuels to renewable energy sources. Utilizing eco-friendly sources such as solar, wind, and hydropower can help reduce greenhouse gas emissions and enable companies and countries to save costs in the long term. As a result, a sustainable energy system can pave the way for better living standards and healthier lives. A second measure is that governments should enact stricter laws on deforestation and impose severe penalties on violators. This might help reduce deforestation around the planet.