Group and team activities are more important than the activities done alone, because they teach us important life skills. Do you agree or disagree?

It is indeed evident that in recent decades, the argument whether teamwork or personal activities are more essential has become increasingly prevalent, garnering a great deal of public attention. While the belief that working in groups can exert various positive effects might be reasonable to some extent, I contend that working alone may be more effective due to the increase of concentration and less unresolved conflicts.
Granted, one might argue that it could be necessary for individuals to attend extra team projects to improve several social skills. This is predicated on the assumption that these activities would allow people to foster collaborations and learn communication skills. According to this theory, when working in a team, individuals often have to discuss with others, contribute to the work of the group, and also bond the members’ ideas together. In addition, in team settings, arguments and conflicts between members can be indispensable, as individuals' opinions might be different, therefore, people may learn problem-solving skills by navigating and resolving these conflicts in an effective way.
However, this line of reasoning is not sound since some disagreement and personal issues in a group might not be tackled immediately as a wide range of people need a large amount of time to stabilize their emotions and stay calm. Members who have high self esteem, for instance, can feel annoyed when their mistakes are corrected by people in the same team, which may lead to quarrels and sometimes, the leader of the group might not understand how to bridge the gap between them. Solitary work, therefore, could be an ideal solution to these problems. This can be explained by the fact that working alone might enable individuals to completely focus on their tasks without being disturbed by several factors such as teammates or noises from their discussion. As a consequence, personal projects can be greatly appreciated, receive better results, and these results could also boost people's confidence.
In conclusion, when there is an opinion that teamwork may help enable people's social interaction, from my perspective, the impacts of solitary work are of more significance. Nonetheless, individuals should engage in both isolated and team activities in order to fully develop themselves and learn extra social skills and concentration ability.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is indeed evident" -> "It is clear"
Explanation: "It is indeed evident" is redundant. "It is clear" maintains the formal tone while avoiding redundancy.
"the argument whether" -> "the debate about"
Explanation: "The argument whether" is grammatically incorrect. "The debate about" is the correct phrase for discussing a topic of discussion.
"garnering a great deal of public attention" -> "attracting significant public attention"
Explanation: "Garnering" is somewhat informal and less precise in this context. "Attracting" is more straightforward and academically appropriate.
"might be reasonable to some extent" -> "may be reasonable to some extent"
Explanation: "Might" is less formal than "may," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"working alone may be more effective" -> "working alone may be more productive"
Explanation: "Effective" can be vague; "productive" specifically refers to the output or results of work, which is more precise in this context.
"increase of concentration" -> "enhanced concentration"
Explanation: "Increase of concentration" is awkward and unclear. "Enhanced concentration" is more natural and precise.
"less unresolved conflicts" -> "fewer unresolved conflicts"
Explanation: "Less" is incorrect when referring to countable nouns like "conflicts." "Fewer" is the correct form.
"it could be necessary for individuals to attend extra team projects" -> "it may be beneficial for individuals to participate in additional team projects"
Explanation: "Attend" is too informal and vague; "participate" is more specific and formal. "Extra" is also less formal than "additional."
"bond the members’ ideas together" -> "integrate the members’ ideas"
Explanation: "Bond" is an unusual choice here; "integrate" is the standard term for combining elements into a cohesive whole.
"arguments and conflicts between members can be indispensable" -> "arguments and conflicts among members are inevitable"
Explanation: "Indispensable" incorrectly implies that these conflicts are necessary, whereas "inevitable" correctly conveys that they are unavoidable.
"people may learn problem-solving skills" -> "individuals may develop problem-solving skills"
Explanation: "People" is less formal than "individuals," and "develop" is more precise than "learn" in this context, suggesting a more advanced skill acquisition.
"stay calm" -> "compose themselves"
Explanation: "Stay calm" is somewhat informal; "compose themselves" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"Members who have high self esteem" -> "Individuals with high self-esteem"
Explanation: "Members" is less specific than "individuals," and "high self esteem" should be hyphenated as "high self-esteem" for grammatical correctness.
"feel annoyed" -> "experience annoyance"
Explanation: "Feel annoyed" is informal; "experience annoyance" is more formal and precise.
"quarrels and sometimes, the leader of the group might not understand" -> "quarrels, and occasionally, the group leader may not understand"
Explanation: "Sometimes" is informal; "occasionally" is more formal. Also, "the leader of the group" is redundant; "the group leader" is more concise.
"Solitary work" -> "solitary work"
Explanation: "Solitary work" is correct; no change needed here, but it’s mentioned for completeness.
"completely focus on their tasks" -> "fully concentrate on their tasks"
Explanation: "Completely focus" is redundant; "fully concentrate" is more precise and formal.
"receive better results" -> "yield better results"
Explanation: "Receive" is less specific; "yield" is more appropriate in the context of outcomes or results.
"boost people’s confidence" -> "enhance individuals’ confidence"
Explanation: "Boost" is somewhat informal; "enhance" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. "People" is less formal than "individuals."
"engage in both isolated and team activities" -> "participate in both solitary and team activities"
Explanation: "Engage in" is less specific; "participate in" is more precise. "Isolated" is less common than "solitary" in this context, and "team activities" is redundant after "team."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear argument against the idea that group activities are more important than individual activities. The author acknowledges the benefits of teamwork, such as improved social skills and conflict resolution, but ultimately argues that solitary work can lead to greater concentration and fewer conflicts. This balanced approach demonstrates an understanding of the complexities of the topic. However, the essay could have benefited from a more explicit acknowledgment of the importance of teamwork in certain contexts, which would have strengthened the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explicitly state the importance of both types of activities in the introduction and conclusion, providing a more nuanced view. Including specific examples of situations where teamwork is essential would also enrich the argument and show a deeper engagement with the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that solitary work is more effective than teamwork, which is consistently supported throughout the text. The author uses phrases like "I contend" and "from my perspective" to reinforce their stance. However, there are moments where the discussion of teamwork’s benefits could lead to some ambiguity about the overall position, particularly in the conclusion where the writer suggests a balance between both activities.
- How to improve: To ensure clarity of position, the writer should reinforce their main argument in the conclusion without suggesting that teamwork is equally important. A more definitive closing statement that reiterates the superiority of solitary work would strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of solitary work, such as increased concentration and confidence. Each point is supported with reasoning, such as the potential for unresolved conflicts in team settings. However, the support for the argument could be more robust; for instance, the discussion of how solitary work leads to better results could include specific examples or studies to substantiate the claims made.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should include more concrete examples or evidence to support their claims about solitary work. This couldinvolve citing studies, personal anecdotes, or hypothetical scenarios that illustrate the advantages of working alone versus in a group.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate between teamwork and solitary work. However, there are instances where the discussion of teamwork’s benefits could distract from the main argument. For example, the mention of social skills and conflict resolution, while relevant, could lead the reader to question the author’s stance if not tied back to the main argument effectively.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. This could involve revising sections that discuss teamwork to clearly relate them back to the benefits of solitary work, thereby reinforcing the main thesis throughout the essay. Additionally, avoiding overly detailed discussions of teamwork’s advantages would help keep the essay tightly focused on the author’s position.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument with a logical progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets up the debate between teamwork and solitary work, and the body paragraphs each focus on distinct aspects of the argument. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of teamwork, while the second body paragraph counters this by highlighting the advantages of working alone. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother; the shift from discussing teamwork to solitary work feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly guide the reader through the argument. For instance, after discussing the benefits of teamwork, a phrase like "Conversely," or "On the other hand," could help signal the shift to the opposing viewpoint. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea can further improve organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to the overall argument. The introduction and conclusion are distinct and serve their purposes well. However, the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer internal structure. For example, the first body paragraph could be divided into two smaller paragraphs: one focusing on the benefits of social skills gained from teamwork and another on conflict resolution.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by evidence or examples. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and focus. Each paragraph should ideally start with a topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "therefore," and "in addition," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "this line of reasoning is not sound" could be better connected to the previous argument by using a more explicit transitional phrase that indicates a counterargument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "conversely," "for instance," and "in contrast." Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help reduce repetition and improve the flow of the essay. For example, instead of repeating "teamwork," you could use "collaborative efforts" in subsequent references.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the overall band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "essential," "collaborations," "problem-solving skills," and "self-esteem." These words contribute to the clarity and sophistication of the argument. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied or nuanced. For example, the phrase "working in groups can exert various positive effects" could be enhanced by using synonyms for "exert" or "positive effects," which would show a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider incorporating synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "working in groups," alternatives like "collaborative efforts" or "team endeavors" could be used. Additionally, using more specific adjectives or adverbs could enrich the descriptions, such as "constructive" instead of "positive."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "members who have high self esteem" could be more accurately expressed as "members with high self-esteem," which is a more standard construction. Additionally, the term "unresolved conflicts" could be better articulated as "interpersonal conflicts" to specify the type of conflicts being discussed.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical structures and collocations. Practicing the use of common phrases and ensuring correct adjective-noun combinations will enhance clarity. Reading more academic texts can also help in understanding how to use vocabulary in context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with no significant errors present. Words like "essential," "collaborations," and "concentration" are spelled correctly, which reflects a good level of proficiency in this area.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to proofread for any typographical errors and familiarize themselves with commonly misspelled words. Engaging in spelling exercises or using spelling apps can also be beneficial for maintaining and improving spelling accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "while the belief that working in groups can exert various positive effects might be reasonable to some extent" and "this line of reasoning is not sound since some disagreement and personal issues in a group might not be tackled immediately" showcase the use of subordinate clauses effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "this can be explained by the fact that" could be replaced with different introductory phrases to enhance the flow and engagement of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting sentences with "this can be explained by," try using "one reason for this is" or "an alternative perspective is." Additionally, integrating more passive voice constructions or different types of clauses (e.g., conditional clauses) could further enhance the range of structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "members who have high self esteem" should include a hyphen as "self-esteem." Additionally, the use of commas in complex sentences is mostly correct, though there are a few areas where commas could improve clarity, such as before "therefore" in "as individuals’ opinions might be different, therefore, people may learn problem-solving skills." This could lead to confusion for the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly with compound and complex sentences. Regularly reviewing grammar rules, especially concerning hyphenation and comma usage, would be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for minor errors before submission can help catch these issues. Consider practicing with exercises focused on common grammatical pitfalls, which can help solidify understanding and application in writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is clear that in recent decades, the debate about whether teamwork or personal activities are more essential has gained significant public attention. While the belief that working in groups can yield various positive effects may be reasonable to some extent, I contend that working alone may be more effective due to enhanced concentration and fewer unresolved conflicts.

Granted, one might argue that it is necessary for individuals to participate in additional team projects to improve several social skills. This is based on the assumption that these activities allow people to foster collaboration and learn communication skills. According to this theory, when working in a team, individuals often have to discuss ideas with others, contribute to the group’s work, and integrate the members’ perspectives. Additionally, in team settings, arguments and conflicts among members are inevitable, as individuals’ opinions may differ. Consequently, people may develop problem-solving skills by navigating and resolving these conflicts effectively.

However, this line of reasoning is not entirely sound, as some disagreements and personal issues in a group may not be addressed immediately. A wide range of people often requires a considerable amount of time to compose themselves and remain calm. Members with high self-esteem, for instance, may experience annoyance when their mistakes are pointed out by teammates, which can lead to quarrels. Occasionally, the group leader may not understand how to bridge the gap between conflicting members. Solitary work, therefore, could be an ideal solution to these problems. This can be explained by the fact that working alone enables individuals to fully concentrate on their tasks without being disturbed by factors such as teammates or noise from discussions. As a consequence, personal projects can yield better results, and these outcomes can also enhance individuals’ confidence.

In conclusion, while some may argue that teamwork helps facilitate social interaction, from my perspective, the benefits of solitary work are of greater significance. Nonetheless, it may be beneficial for individuals to participate in both solitary and team activities to fully develop themselves and acquire additional social skills and concentration abilities.