Hamburgers and pizzas may be convenient but they can also be unhealthy. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of fast food. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Hamburgers and pizzas may be convenient but they can also be unhealthy. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fast food is growingly well-liked in recent years. Many people, especially teenagers tend to sonsume fast food because of its benefits while others believe that it brings a lot of harmful effects. This essay will consider advantages and disadvantages of fast food.

On the one hand, fast food has some advantages for our life. Firstly, its convenient for people who do not have time to cook for lunch or dinner, they just need go to the fast food store and buy its. Secondly fast food is very delicious and cheap more than you cooking at home. For example, the high school servey showed that over 78 percent of teenagers prefer odering hamburgerz, pizzas and fried chicken. The obisity rate in Europe is higher than Asia.

On the other hand, ready-to-eat fast food to has a lot of drawbacks that are ignored by consumers. Most importantly, The fast food have very low ingredients. Some seller ussaly make food with frozen meats or old oil which is used several times to sell a dish with attractive price. For example some comsumers complaint that they had to eat rat meat instead of chicken meat in a very popular restaurant as KFC in the USA.

Futhermore, fast food contains lots of unsaturated fat and carbs that are not good for physical health. Eating fastfood regularly leads to many diseases such as cardiovascular, obesity or even cancle. The reliable research of human health scientist concluded that fourty four percent of people who have the above disease are all causes by comsuming fast food, As a result, fast food has various negative aspects for people's health

In conclusion, fast food offers significant benefits for people whose need are convenient and flaverful. However, it brings mutilple problem for long-term health

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "growingly well-liked" -> "increasingly popular"
   Explanation: "Growingly" is not a standard word in English. "Increasingly" is the correct adverbial form, enhancing the formal tone and accuracy of the statement.

2. "Many people, especially teenagers tend to sonsume" -> "Many people, particularly teenagers, tend to consume"
   Explanation: "Sonsume" is a typographical error; "consume" is the correct spelling. Also, the comma after "teenagers" is necessary for proper punctuation.

3. "because of its benefits" -> "due to its benefits"
   Explanation: "Due to" is a more formal and precise preposition than "because of" in academic writing, enhancing the formality of the sentence.

4. "its convenient for people" -> "it is convenient for individuals"
   Explanation: "Its" is a possessive pronoun and does not fit here; "it is" is the correct form. Also, "individuals" is more formal than "people" in academic contexts.

5. "they just need go to the fast food store and buy its" -> "they simply need to visit the fast food store and purchase it"
   Explanation: "Just need go" is grammatically incorrect; "simply need to visit" corrects this. "Buy its" is incorrect; "purchase it" is the correct form.

6. "very delicious and cheap more than you cooking at home" -> "extremely delicious and cheaper than cooking at home"
   Explanation: "Very delicious" is vague; "extremely delicious" is more precise. "Cheap more than" is grammatically incorrect; "cheaper than" is the correct comparative form.

7. "The high school servey showed" -> "A high school survey showed"
   Explanation: "Servey" is a typographical error; "survey" is the correct spelling. "The" is unnecessary before "high school survey" as it is not a specific instance.

8. "odering hamburgerz, pizzas and fried chicken" -> "ordering hamburgers, pizzas, and fried chicken"
   Explanation: "Odering" is a typographical error; "ordering" is correct. "Hamburgerz" is a typographical error; "hamburgers" is correct. Also, the commas are necessary for clarity and proper punctuation.

9. "The fast food have very low ingredients" -> "Fast food often contains very low-quality ingredients"
   Explanation: "The fast food have" is grammatically incorrect; "Fast food often contains" corrects this. "Low ingredients" is vague; "low-quality ingredients" is more specific and appropriate.

10. "Some seller ussaly make food" -> "Some sellers often make food"
    Explanation: "Seller" should be plural as it refers to multiple sellers. "Ussaly" is a typographical error; "often" is the correct adverb.

11. "eating fastfood regularly leads to many diseases" -> "regular consumption of fast food leads to various diseases"
    Explanation: "Eating fastfood" is informal and incorrect; "regular consumption of fast food" is more formal and precise. "Many diseases" is vague; "various diseases" is more specific.

12. "cancle" -> "cancer"
    Explanation: "Cancle" is a typographical error; "cancer" is the correct term.

13. "As a result, fast food has various negative aspects for people’s health" -> "Consequently, fast food has numerous negative impacts on public health"
    Explanation: "As a result" is a bit informal; "Consequently" is more formal. "Various negative aspects for people’s health" is vague; "numerous negative impacts on public health" is more specific and formal.

14. "it brings mutilple problem for long-term health" -> "it poses multiple problems for long-term health"
    Explanation: "Mutilple" is a typographical error; "multiple" is correct. "Brings problem" is grammatically incorrect; "poses problems" is the correct verb form.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of fast food, which is essential for fulfilling the prompt. The introduction clearly states the intention to discuss both sides, and the body paragraphs are divided accordingly. However, the advantages section lacks depth and specific examples, while the disadvantages section is more detailed but could benefit from additional examples to strengthen the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more specific examples and data to support the advantages of fast food. For instance, discussing specific scenarios where fast food is beneficial, such as during busy workdays or for families on the go, would add depth. Additionally, incorporating statistics or studies that highlight the health impacts of fast food would further substantiate the disadvantages.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by acknowledging both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion could be more definitive in summarizing the writer’s stance. Phrases like "significant benefits" and "multiple problems" suggest a balanced view, but the conclusion does not explicitly state which side the writer leans towards.
  • How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their personal stance in the conclusion. For example, they could conclude with a statement that emphasizes the need for moderation in fast food consumption or suggest that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, depending on their viewpoint.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of fast food. However, the support for these ideas is inconsistent. The advantages are mentioned briefly with limited elaboration, while the disadvantages are more thoroughly discussed. For instance, the mention of "rat meat" is a strong example but lacks a citation or context to make it more credible.
  • How to improve: The writer should aim to extend their ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples for each point. For instance, when discussing the convenience of fast food, they could elaborate on how it fits into modern lifestyles or provide statistics on fast food consumption trends. Additionally, ensuring that all claims are backed by credible sources or personal anecdotes would strengthen the overall argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of fast food as required by the prompt. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as the mention of obesity rates without directly tying it back to the impact of fast food.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central theme of the advantages and disadvantages of fast food. They could also use transitional phrases to connect ideas more smoothly, reinforcing how each point contributes to the overall discussion of fast food’s impact on health and lifestyle.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant points, it could benefit from more detailed examples, a clearer position, and stronger support for its ideas. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the effectiveness of their argument and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages is somewhat abrupt, and the points made within each paragraph could be more clearly linked to the main argument. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps signal the shift in focus, but the connections between ideas within paragraphs could be stronger.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each point is clearly linked to the overall argument. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph’s main idea and follow with supporting details that relate back to that idea. For example, after stating an advantage, explicitly connect it to how it impacts consumers’ choices or health. Additionally, consider using transitional phrases to better guide the reader through the argument.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on either the advantages or disadvantages of fast food. However, the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the second body paragraph discussing disadvantages lacks a clear topic sentence and jumps between ideas without smooth transitions. This can confuse readers about the main point of the paragraph.
  • How to improve: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, in the disadvantages paragraph, a sentence like "Despite its popularity, fast food poses significant health risks" would clarify the focus. Additionally, ensure that each supporting detail logically follows the topic sentence, using cohesive devices to link ideas within the paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "On the one hand," which help to organize ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections, making it difficult for readers to follow the argument. For example, phrases like "For example" are used, but there are few other devices to indicate contrast, addition, or cause and effect, which would enhance the essay’s coherence.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Moreover," "In contrast," or "Consequently" to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each example is clearly linked to the point being made; for example, when discussing health risks, explicitly connect the example of obesity to the argument about fast food’s negative impact on health.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, enhancing logical organization, improving paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of fast food, such as "convenient," "delicious," "drawbacks," and "health." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "fast food" and "health." The use of terms like "obesity" and "unsaturated fat" shows an attempt to incorporate relevant terminology, but there are missed opportunities to use synonyms or more varied expressions (e.g., "junk food" instead of repeating "fast food").
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should practice using synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "fast food," they could incorporate phrases like "quick meals," "takeaway food," or "convenience food." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary exercises focused on food-related terms could be beneficial.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "the fast food have very low ingredients" is awkward and incorrect; it should be "has very low-quality ingredients." Additionally, "the high school survey" lacks specificity and context, and "mutilple problem" should be corrected to "multiple problems."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that adjectives accurately describe the nouns they modify. Practicing sentence structure and reviewing grammar rules can help clarify meaning. Furthermore, using more specific descriptors (e.g., "nutritional value" instead of "ingredients") can enhance the precision of vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that hinder readability and professionalism. Words such as "sonsume," "servey," "oder," "obisity," "ussaly," "comsumers," "Futhermore," "fourty," and "cancle" are misspelled. These errors suggest a lack of attention to detail and can negatively impact the overall impression of the writing.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps by keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch errors. Reading more widely can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled vocabulary in context.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision in word choice, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion for IELTS Task 2 essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance the writing. For example, the sentence "Fast food is growingly well-liked in recent years" is a straightforward construction. Additionally, the use of phrases like "Firstly" and "On the one hand" indicates an attempt to structure the argument, but the overall variety remains low. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "its convenient" instead of "it’s convenient," which detracts from the overall fluency.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Fast food has some advantages for our life," the writer could say, "While fast food offers several advantages, it also poses significant health risks." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varying sentence beginnings can also enhance the complexity and engagement of the writing.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that impact clarity. For example, "its convenient" should be "it’s convenient," and "they just need go to the fast food store" is missing "to" before "go." The phrase "the fast food have very low ingredients" is incorrect; it should be "fast food has very low-quality ingredients." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in lists (e.g., "hamburgerz, pizzas and fried chicken"), contribute to a lack of clarity. The use of capital letters is inconsistent, as seen in "The fast food" and "Futhermore."
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can help identify recurring mistakes. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in lists and after introductory phrases, will enhance clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on fast food, it requires significant improvement in both grammatical range and accuracy to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will greatly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Fast food is increasingly popular in recent years. Many people, especially teenagers, tend to consume fast food due to its benefits, while others believe that it brings a lot of harmful effects. This essay will consider the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.

On the one hand, fast food has some advantages for our lives. Firstly, it is convenient for people who do not have time to cook for lunch or dinner; they just need to go to the fast food store and buy it. Secondly, fast food is extremely delicious and cheaper than cooking at home. For example, a high school survey showed that over 78 percent of teenagers prefer ordering hamburgers, pizzas, and fried chicken. The obesity rate in Europe is higher than in Asia.

On the other hand, ready-to-eat fast food has a lot of drawbacks that are often ignored by consumers. Most importantly, fast food often contains very low-quality ingredients. Some sellers usually make food with frozen meats or old oil, which is used several times to sell a dish at an attractive price. For example, some consumers complained that they had to eat rat meat instead of chicken meat in a very popular restaurant like KFC in the USA.

Furthermore, fast food contains lots of unsaturated fat and carbs that are not good for physical health. Eating fast food regularly leads to many diseases such as cardiovascular issues, obesity, or even cancer. Reliable research by health scientists concluded that forty-four percent of people who have these diseases are all caused by consuming fast food. As a result, fast food has numerous negative impacts on public health.

In conclusion, fast food offers significant benefits for people whose needs are convenience and flavor. However, it poses multiple problems for long-term health.