household composition in a North American country from 1970 to 2003.

The table provides the household composition in a North American country over a 33-year period, commencing in 1970, in terms of both family and non-family household.

According to the table, it is evident that the percentage of married couple belongs to family household witnessed a significant decline. In contrast, other categories of this sector increased slightly. Additionally, the proportions of non-family types observed a dramatic rise.

In 1970, the share of married couple was 61%. However, until the end of the given time period, that of married couple decreased significantly, stopping at 41%. A reversed trend can be seen in the percentage of father and kid, mother and kid, and other member sharing. All these three categories experienced a moderate rise by 1%, reaching at 10%, 11% and 14%, respectively.

The proportions of the non-family types had a opposite trend compared to that of married couple. Particularly, the percentage of single and room sharing observed an approximately three-fold increase, from 4 to 13% for the former and 3 to 11% for the latter.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The table provides" -> "The data presented in the table indicate"
Explanation: "The data presented in the table indicate" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the information being discussed rather than the table itself, which is more appropriate for academic writing.
"percentage of married couple" -> "percentage of married couples"
Explanation: The correct form is "married couples" to refer to multiple married individuals, aligning with standard English grammar rules.
"witnessed a significant decline" -> "experienced a significant decline"
Explanation: "Experienced" is more appropriate in this context, as it suggests a direct impact or influence on the phenomenon being discussed, which is more precise and formal.
"other categories of this sector" -> "other categories within this sector"
Explanation: "Within this sector" is more specific and academically precise, clarifying that the categories are part of the household composition sector.
"observed a dramatic rise" -> "experienced a substantial increase"
Explanation: "Experienced a substantial increase" is more formal and avoids the colloquial tone of "dramatic rise," which is less suitable for academic writing.
"stopping at 41%" -> "reaching 41%"
Explanation: "Stopping at" is informal and vague; "reaching" is more precise and appropriate for describing the endpoint of a trend.
"reversed trend" -> "opposite trend"
Explanation: "Opposite trend" is a clearer and more formal term than "reversed trend," which can be ambiguous.
"reaching at" -> "reaching"
Explanation: "Reaching at" is grammatically incorrect; "reaching" is the correct form needed to describe the achievement of a level or percentage.
"observed an approximately three-fold increase" -> "experienced a roughly threefold increase"
Explanation: "Experienced a roughly threefold increase" is more formal and precise, using "roughly" to indicate approximation in a more academic style.
"single and room sharing" -> "single and roommate sharing"
Explanation: "Roommate sharing" is the correct term, as "room sharing" is not a standard term in this context.

These changes enhance the formal tone and precision of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in household composition in a North American country between 1970 and 2003. It accurately identifies the key features of the data, such as the decline in married couples and the rise in non-family households. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the percentage of single and room sharing observed an approximately three-fold increase, but this is not accurate. The percentage of single households increased by approximately three times, but the percentage of room sharing households increased by approximately four times.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific and accurate details about the trends in household composition. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of married couples decreased by 20% over the 33-year period, while the percentage of single households increased by 9%. The essay could also provide more context for the trends, such as by discussing the social and economic factors that may have contributed to the changes in household composition.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner and demonstrates a clear overall progression. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences is somewhat mechanical, leading to a lack of fluidity in some areas. Additionally, referencing could be clearer, particularly in the transition between different categories of household composition. Paragraphing is present but could be improved for better clarity and logical flow.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on varying the use of cohesive devices to avoid mechanical transitions. They should also ensure that references to categories are clear and consistent throughout the essay. Improving the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs will help create a more seamless reading experience. Lastly, organizing information into well-defined paragraphs that each focus on a single central topic will strengthen the overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, with some attempts to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the percentage of married couple belongs to family household" which is awkwardly phrased. There are also some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "a opposite trend" instead of "an opposite trend," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Overall, while the essay communicates the main ideas, the lexical resource is limited and contains errors that detract from clarity.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise and varied word choices. Additionally, improving grammatical accuracy, particularly in terms of collocation and article usage, would enhance clarity. Finally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors would help to minimize mistakes that could impede communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which aligns with the characteristics of Band 6. There are some grammatical errors present, such as "the percentage of married couple belongs to family household" (should be "the percentage of married couples in family households") and "had a opposite trend" (should be "had an opposite trend"). While these errors do not severely hinder communication, they are noticeable and affect the overall clarity of the writing. The essay also shows some control over grammar and punctuation, but the presence of errors indicates that there is room for improvement.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors and improving sentence structure. Increasing the variety of complex sentence forms and ensuring that all sentences are error-free would also contribute positively. Additionally, using more precise vocabulary and ensuring that all phrases are grammatically correct will help in achieving a higher score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides information on household composition in a North American country over a 33-year period, commencing in 1970, in terms of both family and non-family households.

According to the table, it is evident that the percentage of married couples within family households witnessed a significant decline. In contrast, other categories within this sector increased slightly. Additionally, the proportions of non-family types observed a dramatic rise.

In 1970, the share of married couples was 61%. However, by the end of the given time period, this figure had decreased significantly to 41%. A reversed trend can be seen in the percentages of father and child, mother and child, and other member households. All three categories experienced a moderate rise of 1%, reaching 10%, 11%, and 14%, respectively.

The proportions of non-family types exhibited an opposite trend compared to that of married couples. In particular, the percentage of single-person households and room-sharing arrangements experienced an approximately three-fold increase, rising from 4% to 13% for the former and from 3% to 11% for the latter.