how to keep fit and stay healthy

As you know, nowadays, health is one of the biggest concerns in the world because health is wealth, but sadly, some people don’t care too much about their health which leads to a rise in health problems, so Today, let me share with you about some tips that is useful to keep fit and stay healthy. Firstly, if you want to be well-being in both physical and mental health, sleeping well and drinking enough water is really helpful and crucial. Not only do they boost your positive energy, but they also improve your work’s quality. Secondly, nowadays, it is completely true to say that doing exercise plays an essential role in staying in shape and being healthy. Some uncomplicated exercises enhance people’s physical health and also help them to relax after a busy day. Thirdly, to maintain a healthy lifestyle, you should have a good diet. It is highly recommended to go on a healthy diet, eat more vegetables and fruits, and reduce junk food in your diet. Next, with a view to always have a well care of yourself, having regular medical check-ups is crucial. Having medical check-ups biannually can give you an accurate overview of your health at hand. In conclusion, all the mentioned ideas above is helpful for keeping fit and staying healthy.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"As you know" -> "It is widely recognized"
Explanation: "As you know" is too conversational and informal for academic writing. "It is widely recognized" is more formal and appropriate for an academic context.
"nowadays" -> "currently"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal and conversational. "Currently" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"health is wealth" -> "health is a valuable asset"
Explanation: The phrase "health is wealth" is an idiom that may be seen as too colloquial for formal writing. "Health is a valuable asset" maintains the same meaning but in a more formal and precise manner.
"sadly" -> "regrettably"
Explanation: "Sadly" is an emotional term that is less suitable for academic writing. "Regrettably" is more neutral and formal.
"some people don’t care too much about their health" -> "some individuals fail to prioritize their health"
Explanation: "Don’t care too much" is informal and vague. "Fail to prioritize" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style.
"which leads to a rise in health problems" -> "resulting in an increase in health issues"
Explanation: "A rise in health problems" is somewhat informal and vague. "An increase in health issues" is more specific and formal.
"Today, let me share with you about some tips" -> "I will discuss several strategies"
Explanation: "Let me share with you about" is too conversational and informal. "I will discuss" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"that is useful to keep fit and stay healthy" -> "that are beneficial for maintaining fitness and overall health"
Explanation: "That is useful" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "That are beneficial" corrects the grammar and enhances formality.
"well-being" -> "well-being"
Explanation: "Well-being" should not be hyphenated when used as a noun.
"boost your positive energy" -> "enhance your energy levels"
Explanation: "Boost your positive energy" is colloquial and vague. "Enhance your energy levels" is more precise and formal.
"work’s quality" -> "work quality"
Explanation: "Work’s quality" is grammatically incorrect. "Work quality" is the correct form.
"completely true to say" -> "undeniable"
Explanation: "Completely true to say" is awkward and informal. "Undeniable" is a more concise and formal alternative.
"Some uncomplicated exercises" -> "Certain simple exercises"
Explanation: "Some uncomplicated" is awkward and less precise. "Certain simple" is clearer and more formal.
"to maintain a healthy lifestyle" -> "to sustain a healthy lifestyle"
Explanation: "Maintain" is less specific than "sustain," which implies a more ongoing effort, fitting the context better.
"having regular medical check-ups is crucial" -> "regular medical check-ups are essential"
Explanation: "Having regular medical check-ups is crucial" is grammatically awkward. "Regular medical check-ups are essential" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"all the mentioned ideas above is helpful" -> "all the aforementioned strategies are beneficial"
Explanation: "All the mentioned ideas above is" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "All the aforementioned strategies are beneficial" corrects the grammar and enhances formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by providing tips on how to keep fit and stay healthy. However, it lacks depth and does not fully explore the various aspects of fitness and health. For instance, while it mentions sleep, exercise, diet, and medical check-ups, it does not elaborate on how these factors interconnect or provide specific examples or strategies that could enhance understanding. The phrase "some tips that is useful" is vague and does not clearly outline the comprehensive nature of the advice being provided.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples or strategies. For instance, instead of just stating that exercise is essential, the writer could mention types of exercises (e.g., cardio, strength training) and their specific benefits. Additionally, ensuring that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed will help in achieving a higher score.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position on the importance of health but lacks a strong, consistent stance throughout. The introduction states that health is a major concern, but the subsequent tips do not connect back to this concern in a cohesive manner. The transition between ideas feels abrupt, and the conclusion does not effectively reinforce the initial position or summarize the key points made.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should create a more structured outline before writing. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main argument about the importance of health. Additionally, the conclusion should reiterate the main points and their significance, reinforcing the essay’s overall message.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay presents several ideas related to health and fitness, they are not well-developed or supported. For example, the suggestion to drink enough water is made, but there is no explanation of how hydration impacts health or specific recommendations on daily intake. The essay feels more like a list of tips rather than a well-argued discussion.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to extend each idea with explanations and examples. For instance, when discussing the importance of a good diet, the writer could provide examples of healthy foods and their benefits. Incorporating statistics or studies could also bolster the arguments and provide a more persuasive essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing various aspects of health and fitness. However, some sentences are slightly off-topic or lack relevance. For instance, the phrase "health is wealth" is a common saying but does not add substantial value to the argument and could be omitted for clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main topic. Avoiding clichés and ensuring that every point made is relevant to the prompt will help keep the essay on track. A brief outline before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring all points are relevant.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should focus on elaborating on each point with specific examples, maintaining a clear and consistent position, supporting ideas with relevant details, and ensuring that all content is directly related to the topic of keeping fit and staying healthy.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a generally logical order, starting with the importance of health and moving through various tips for maintaining fitness and health. Each point is introduced clearly, which aids in understanding the progression of ideas. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing sleep and hydration to exercise lacks a clear connective phrase that would help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases between points. For instance, after discussing hydration, you could add a sentence like, "In addition to proper hydration, engaging in regular exercise is equally vital." This would create a clearer connection between your ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks distinct paragraphing, which makes it difficult for the reader to identify separate ideas. Each tip is presented in a single block of text, which can overwhelm the reader and obscure the main points. For example, the discussion about diet, exercise, and medical check-ups all appear in one continuous section without clear breaks.
- How to improve: Implementing clear paragraphs for each main idea would greatly enhance readability. Start a new paragraph for each tip (sleep and hydration, exercise, diet, and medical check-ups). This not only organizes the content better but also allows the reader to digest each point individually.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "firstly," "secondly," and "next," to signal the order of points. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel abrupt or disconnected. For example, the phrase "with a view to always have a well care of yourself" is awkwardly constructed and does not flow well with the preceding sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a mix of conjunctions, referencing, and substitution. For example, instead of repeatedly using "firstly" and "secondly," you could use phrases like "Another important aspect is…" or "Furthermore, it is essential to…" Additionally, revising awkward phrases for clarity will enhance cohesion. For instance, consider rephrasing "with a view to always have a well care of yourself" to "to ensure you take good care of your health."

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in logical organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "well-being," "essential role," and "healthy lifestyle" used appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "keep fit" and "stay healthy," which appear multiple times without variation. Additionally, the phrase "health is wealth" is a common saying and does not showcase a broader vocabulary range.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "keep fit," alternatives such as "maintain fitness," "stay in shape," or "achieve physical wellness" could be used. Similarly, varying expressions for "healthy" could include "well-balanced," "nutritious," or "health-conscious."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "boost your positive energy" and "reduce junk food." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "having a good diet" and "well care of yourself," which are awkward and not standard phrases in English. The phrase "is really helpful and crucial" also lacks clarity and could be more effectively expressed.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using more standard phrases. For example, "maintaining a balanced diet" instead of "having a good diet" would be clearer. Additionally, replacing "well care of yourself" with "taking good care of yourself" would enhance clarity and correctness.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no significant errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "is useful" instead of "are useful" when referring to "some tips," which reflects grammatical rather than spelling issues.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling and grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, practicing writing with a focus on subject-verb agreement and other grammatical structures can help prevent such errors in the future.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and grammatical accuracy would help elevate the Lexical Resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Not only do they boost your positive energy, but they also improve your work’s quality" showcases a complex structure that effectively conveys a dual benefit. However, there are instances where sentence structures are repetitive, such as the frequent use of "it is" and "having," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of starting several sentences with "Firstly," "Secondly," etc., the writer could use transitions like "In addition," "Moreover," or "Another important aspect is…" This would create a more engaging flow and demonstrate a broader command of sentence variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For example, "some tips that is useful" should be "some tips that are useful," indicating a subject-verb agreement error. Additionally, the phrase "with a view to always have a well care of yourself" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; it should be rephrased to "with a view to always taking good care of yourself." Punctuation is generally correct, though there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before "but" in the first sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that verbs match their subjects in number. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly on agreement and sentence structure, can be beneficial. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, would help clarify meaning and improve the overall flow of the essay. Reading more complex texts can also provide insight into correct usage and inspire better sentence construction.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

As you know, nowadays, health is one of the biggest concerns in the world because health is wealth. Regrettably, some individuals fail to prioritize their health, resulting in an increase in health problems. So today, let me share with you some tips that are useful to keep fit and stay healthy.

Firstly, if you want to be well in both physical and mental health, sleeping well and drinking enough water is really helpful and crucial. Not only do they boost your positive energy, but they also improve the quality of your work.

Secondly, it is currently true to say that exercising plays an essential role in staying in shape and being healthy. Certain simple exercises enhance people’s physical health and also help them relax after a busy day.

Thirdly, to sustain a healthy lifestyle, you should have a good diet. It is highly recommended to follow a healthy diet, eat more vegetables and fruits, and reduce junk food in your meals.

Next, with a view to always taking good care of yourself, having regular medical check-ups is essential. Having medical check-ups biannually can give you an accurate overview of your current health.

In conclusion, all the aforementioned strategies are beneficial for keeping fit and staying healthy.