Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people say that it is too late to do something, while others think that actions can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people say that it is too late to do something, while others think that actions can be taken to improve the situation.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this day and age, as the improvement of technology, human's demand are now becoming higher than ever. To fulfil their need, human did a lot of activities which impact the environment badly. Some people hold the view that it is too late to save the environment, but others think that we can still take actions to improve our environment, but In my point of view, i prefer the former opinion.
People think that it is too late to do anything mainly because the word has been affected badly, there are many things human can not bring back. The disappearance of various kind of wild animals and plants is one of the clearest example. The appearance of factories has made the atmosphere more polluted than ever. Not only the plants and animals, human are also getting weaker and have more diseases these days.
Although all those negative impacts, others still hold a firm belief that there will are ways to improve everything. If we reduce human activity we can protect plants and animals. There are a whole range of things we can do, such as recycle rubbish instead of throw or burn it, stop bad behaviors like throw burning cigarettes everywhere and more actions. The hole in the ozone has been filled and more actions which has successfully saved the environment are also promoting this opinion.
To sum up, both views have it's own clues and examples. For me, we should believe that plants and animals in the world can still be saved and the situation can still be improved

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"human’s demand" -> "human demands"
Explanation: "Human demands" is a more formal and grammatically correct phrase compared to "human’s demand."
"fulfil their need" -> "fulfill their needs"
Explanation: "Fulfill their needs" is the appropriate phrase, using the plural "needs" to match the plural subject "human."
"a lot of activities which impact the environment badly" -> "numerous activities that adversely affect the environment"
Explanation: "Numerous activities that adversely affect the environment" provides a more precise and formal description, avoiding the colloquial "a lot" and using "adversely affect" instead of "impact badly."
"prefer the former opinion" -> "favor the former viewpoint"
Explanation: "Favor the former viewpoint" is a more formal expression compared to "prefer the former opinion."
"the word has been affected badly" -> "the world has been severely affected"
Explanation: "The world has been severely affected" is more precise and formal than "the word has been affected badly."
"the disappearance of various kind of wild animals and plants" -> "the disappearance of various species of wildlife and flora"
Explanation: "Species of wildlife and flora" is a more formal and specific term than "kind of wild animals and plants."
"The appearance of factories" -> "The proliferation of factories"
Explanation: "The proliferation of factories" is a more formal and accurate phrase compared to "The appearance of factories."
"human are also getting weaker" -> "humans are also experiencing increased vulnerability"
Explanation: "Humans are also experiencing increased vulnerability" is more formal and precise than "human are also getting weaker."
"hold a firm belief" -> "maintain a steadfast belief"
Explanation: "Maintain a steadfast belief" is a more formal expression than "hold a firm belief."
"If we reduce human activity we can protect plants and animals" -> "By reducing human activity, we can mitigate harm to plants and animals"
Explanation: "Mitigate harm to plants and animals" is a more formal and precise phrase than "protect plants and animals," and "by reducing human activity" is a clearer construction than "if we reduce human activity."
"There are a whole range of things we can do" -> "There exists a wide array of measures we can undertake"
Explanation: "There exists a wide array of measures we can undertake" is a more formal and precise phrase than "There are a whole range of things we can do."
"stop bad behaviors like throw burning cigarettes everywhere" -> "cease detrimental behaviors such as littering with burning cigarettes"
Explanation: "Cease detrimental behaviors such as littering with burning cigarettes" is a more formal and precise expression than "stop bad behaviors like throw burning cigarettes everywhere."
"more actions" -> "additional initiatives"
Explanation: "Additional initiatives" is a more formal and precise phrase than "more actions."
"For me, we should believe" -> "In my opinion, we should believe"
Explanation: "In my opinion" is a more formal introduction to the author’s viewpoint compared to "For me."
"it’s own clues" -> "its own evidence"
Explanation: "Its own evidence" is grammatically correct and more formal than "it’s own clues."
"plants and animals in the world can still be saved" -> "global flora and fauna can still be preserved"
Explanation: "Global flora and fauna can still be preserved" is a more formal and precise phrase than "plants and animals in the world can still be saved."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both perspectives on whether it’s too late to mitigate the negative impact of human activity on the environment or if actions can still be taken. It discusses the viewpoints of those who believe it’s too late and those who advocate for taking action to improve the situation. However, the explanation of each viewpoint lacks depth, and there’s a need for more specific examples to support the arguments.
- How to improve: To improve, provide more detailed analysis of each perspective. For instance, delve into specific consequences of human activity on the environment and why some argue it may be irreversible. Similarly, elaborate on concrete actions that can be taken to address the issue and why they may be effective.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position, stating a preference for the viewpoint that it is too late to save the environment. This stance is maintained consistently throughout the essay. However, the clarity of the position could be enhanced by providing more nuanced reasoning and stronger evidence to support the chosen viewpoint.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, offer more detailed explanations and evidence to support the chosen position. Additionally, consider addressing potential counterarguments to further solidify the stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding both perspectives but lacks depth in elaborating and supporting them. While it mentions some negative impacts of human activity on the environment, such as pollution and loss of wildlife, these points are not extensively developed. Additionally, the ideas presented lack coherence and logical progression.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, provide more elaboration and specific examples to support arguments. Ensure a logical flow between ideas and paragraphs to improve coherence. Consider incorporating relevant data or research findings to bolster the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing both viewpoints on whether it’s too late to mitigate the negative impact of human activity on plants and animals. However, there are some instances of vague or tangential discussion, such as mentioning the impact of technology on human demands without directly linking it to the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all points raised directly relate to the topic of environmental impact and mitigation efforts. Avoid introducing tangential topics or vague statements that do not contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed analysis, supporting arguments with specific examples, and maintaining coherence and relevance throughout the essay. By enhancing these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a basic level of logical organization. It starts with an introduction that briefly introduces the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement. The body paragraphs present arguments for both views in separate sections, providing examples to support each perspective. However, transitions between ideas are somewhat abrupt, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points and restate the author’s opinion more assertively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay more cohesively. Begin with a clear thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader. Use transitional phrases or sentences to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, aiding the flow of the argument. In the conclusion, summarize key points and reiterate the author’s stance with confidence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, but their effectiveness varies. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the topic, such as reasons for pessimism and optimism regarding environmental conservation. However, some paragraphs lack development or coherence, leading to disjointedness in the essay’s flow.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces its main idea. Develop each point with supporting details and examples to strengthen the argument’s coherence. Consider revising paragraphs to maintain a consistent focus and flow throughout the essay, avoiding tangential or repetitive content.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to connect ideas, but their usage is limited. Some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases (e.g., "although," "to sum up"), are utilized to signal shifts between viewpoints and sections. However, there is a lack of variety and precision in their application, resulting in occasional choppiness in the essay’s progression.
- How to improve: Diversify the range of cohesive devices employed to establish stronger connections between ideas. Incorporate cohesive devices such as pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore," "however"), and adverbs (e.g., "consequently," "nevertheless") to enhance coherence. Use them strategically to clarify relationships between sentences and paragraphs, facilitating smoother transitions and a more cohesive argumentative structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some variety in word choice throughout. However, there is room for improvement in terms of utilizing a more diverse array of vocabulary to enhance clarity and richness of expression. For instance, phrases like "the improvement of technology" and "fulfil their need" could be replaced with more precise terms or expressions. Additionally, the repetition of certain words and phrases, such as "plants and animals," could be avoided by introducing synonyms or alternative expressions to maintain reader engagement.
- How to improve: To broaden the lexical range, consider incorporating synonyms and more specialized vocabulary related to environmental issues and human impact on ecosystems. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "plants and animals," you could interchangeably use terms like "flora and fauna," "wildlife," or specify particular species affected by human activity. Furthermore, strive to employ more precise terminology to convey ideas effectively and avoid ambiguity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. Certain phrases, such as "the appearance of factories has made the atmosphere more polluted," demonstrate clear and specific language. However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary, such as "the word has been affected badly," which lacks specificity and could be revised for clarity. Precision in vocabulary enhances the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of ideas.
- How to improve: Aim for consistency in precise vocabulary usage throughout the essay to convey ideas clearly and effectively. Instead of vague terms like "affected badly," opt for specific descriptions that elucidate the extent and nature of environmental degradation. Additionally, utilize domain-specific terminology related to environmental science and conservation to bolster the credibility and persuasiveness of your arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy, with most words spelled correctly. However, there are a few instances of spelling errors and typos, such as "hole" instead of "whole" and "throw burning cigarettes everywhere," which detract slightly from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools and proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay. Additionally, practice spelling common words and pay close attention to details during the writing process to minimize the occurrence of typos and misspellings. Regularly reviewing and expanding your vocabulary can also contribute to improved spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and complexity. For instance, while some complex sentences are used, they are often simplistic in structure and could benefit from greater intricacy. Additionally, more varied sentence beginnings and lengths could enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate a mix of compound-complex sentences, use of participial phrases, and employ rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion. Varying sentence lengths and beginnings can be achieved by combining short and long sentences and starting sentences with different grammatical structures (e.g., participles, adverbs, prepositional phrases). This would not only enhance the readability but also demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally communicates its ideas effectively, there are several instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("human’s demand are"), article usage ("the word" instead of "the world"), punctuation errors ("but In my point of view," should be "But, in my point of view,"), and capitalization ("recycle rubbish" should be "recycle rubbish"). These errors occasionally disrupt the clarity and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Improving grammatical accuracy requires attention to detail and practice. Reviewing basic grammar rules related to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation would be beneficial. Proofreading the essay carefully after writing can help identify and correct errors. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or teachers can provide valuable insights into areas that need improvement. Consistent practice in writing and editing will gradually enhance grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this modern era, with advancements in technology, human demands have escalated to unprecedented levels. To fulfill these needs, humans engage in numerous activities that adversely affect the environment. While some argue that it is too late to reverse these impacts, others maintain that actions can still be taken to mitigate the situation. In my opinion, I favor the former viewpoint.

Those who believe it is too late to act often cite the severe repercussions already faced by the world. The disappearance of various species of wildlife and flora serves as a stark example. The proliferation of factories has significantly polluted the atmosphere, exacerbating the situation. Furthermore, humans are also experiencing increased vulnerability to diseases and other health issues.

Despite these challenges, proponents of action maintain a steadfast belief in the potential for improvement. By reducing human activity, we can mitigate harm to plants and animals. There exists a wide array of measures we can undertake, such as recycling rubbish instead of littering or burning it, and ceasing detrimental behaviors such as littering with burning cigarettes. Encouragingly, initiatives such as repairing the hole in the ozone layer demonstrate that positive change is possible.

In conclusion, both viewpoints offer their own evidence and examples. However, in my opinion, we should believe that it is still possible to save global flora and fauna and improve the current situation. With concerted efforts and additional initiatives, we can work towards a healthier environment for all.