If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are of the opinion that it is mandatory for younger generation in the family to take care of their seniors when their physical body, mental health and finacial independence are adequated. Personally, I wholeheartedly endorse this school of thought base on some primary rationales that would be elucidated furthur in this essay.

On the one hand, it is plausible for a large number of people support the idea that younger family members have the responsibility to take their older generation over if they have no ability to implement the simple demand for themselves. At the outset, almost the seniors in the family spent half of their life to make for living, feed their children, be up to their parents, to names but a few; they do not hesitant to give all of valuable things away for their children as long as their children possess a better life. Therefore, their teenagers who are achieved their authority must support them in every manner of life since it is the work relating to the moderate of each person.

Moreover, it is true that teenagers are the vibrant and energetic force in society who are able to earn money and pay all household expenses. In constrast, the older people are limited in their physics to totally take care of themselves and make ends meet like youngers; hence, it is the youth’s obligatory duty to control and assist their seniors and guarantee that they have the prosperous life. Furthermore, if we focus solely on ourselves without their seniors, they can become the homeless or be able to suffer from the mental illnesses. In addition, the older members in family regularly feel lonely, useless and think of themselves as the obstacles of their children because of their limited physical body and mental health. For that reasons, youngers should take care their seniors more by constantly sharing, communicating and sympathizing to ensure that they are totally the crucial parts in the family.

To sum up, it is beneficial for youngers in family to take care of their older ones legally since they are both moderate and duty of each person. However, we should support them by the way which suitable for seniors to make them ecstatic with their life.

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Errors and Improvements:

"adequated" -> "adequate"
Explanation: "Adequated" is not a standard English term. "Adequate" is the appropriate adjective here, indicating sufficient or satisfactory conditions.
"elucidated furthur" -> "elaborated further"
Explanation: "Elucidated further" maintains formality while expressing the idea of expanding upon the points mentioned in the essay. "Furthur" is misspelled; "further" is the correct spelling.
"plausible for a large number of people support" -> "plausible that a large number of people support"
Explanation: The original phrase lacks proper grammar and structure. "Plausible that" establishes a clearer connection between the idea being discussed and the support it receives.
"take their older generation over" -> "care for their older generation"
Explanation: "Take their older generation over" is awkward and unclear. "Care for their older generation" is a more direct and appropriate phrase, conveying the intended meaning more effectively.
"implement the simple demand" -> "fulfill basic needs"
Explanation: "Implement the simple demand" is awkward and unclear. "Fulfill basic needs" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea of meeting the basic requirements of the older generation.
"be up to their parents" -> "support their parents"
Explanation: "Be up to their parents" is unclear and lacks clarity. "Support their parents" is a clearer and more direct way to express the idea of providing assistance or care to one’s parents.
"names but a few" -> "to name just a few"
Explanation: "Names but a few" is not idiomatic. "To name just a few" is a more natural way to introduce a partial list of examples.
"do not hesitant to give all of valuable things away" -> "do not hesitate to sacrifice valuable things"
Explanation: "Do not hesitant to give all of valuable things away" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Do not hesitate to sacrifice valuable things" is a clearer and more concise way to express the idea of giving up valuable possessions for the sake of others.
"teenagers who are achieved their authority" -> "young adults who have attained maturity"
Explanation: "Teenagers who are achieved their authority" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Young adults who have attained maturity" is a more precise and appropriate phrase, indicating individuals who are capable of assuming responsibility.
"moderate of each person" -> "responsibility of each individual"
Explanation: "Moderate of each person" is unclear and does not convey the intended meaning. "Responsibility of each individual" is a clearer and more appropriate phrase, indicating the obligation or duty of each person.
"teenagers are the vibrant and energetic force" -> "adolescents represent a dynamic and energetic demographic"
Explanation: "Teenagers are the vibrant and energetic force" lacks formality and precision. "Adolescents represent a dynamic and energetic demographic" conveys the same idea in a more academically appropriate manner.
"earn money and pay all household expenses" -> "generate income and cover all household expenses"
Explanation: "Earn money and pay all household expenses" is a bit colloquial. "Generate income and cover all household expenses" is a more formal and precise way to express the same idea.
"older people are limited in their physics" -> "elderly individuals are limited physically"
Explanation: "Limited in their physics" is unclear and ungrammatical. "Elderly individuals are limited physically" is a clearer and more precise way to express the idea that older people have physical limitations.
"to totally take care of themselves" -> "to fully care for themselves"
Explanation: "To totally take care of themselves" is slightly informal. "To fully care for themselves" maintains formality while expressing the same idea.
"the youth’s obligatory duty" -> "the youths’ obligatory responsibility"
Explanation: "The youth’s obligatory duty" is awkward and lacks clarity. "The youths’ obligatory responsibility" is a clearer and more precise way to express the idea of the duty or obligation of young people.
"control and assist their seniors" -> "support and assist their elders"
Explanation: "Control and assist their seniors" is unclear and may imply undue authority. "Support and assist their elders" is a clearer and more respectful way to express the idea of helping older family members.
"prosperous life" -> "quality of life"
Explanation: "Prosperous life" is overly focused on financial success. "Quality of life" is a broader and more appropriate term, encompassing overall well-being.
"if we focus solely on ourselves without their seniors" -> "if we solely focus on ourselves neglecting our seniors"
Explanation: "If we focus solely on ourselves without their seniors" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "If we solely focus on ourselves neglecting our seniors" clarifies the intended meaning, emphasizing the importance of not neglecting older family members.
"be able to suffer from the mental illnesses" -> "suffer from mental illnesses"
Explanation: "Be able to suffer from the mental illnesses" is redundant. "Suffer from mental illnesses" is a more concise and appropriate phrase.
"the older members in family" -> "the older members of the family"
Explanation: "The older members in family" lacks proper grammar. "The older members of the family" is the correct phrasing, indicating the older individuals within the family unit.
"youngers should take care their seniors" -> "young people should care for their elders"
Explanation: "Youngers should take care their seniors" lacks proper grammar. "Young people should care for their elders" is a clearer and more grammatically correct expression.
"by constantly sharing, communicating and sympathizing" -> "through regular sharing, communication, and empathy"
Explanation: "By constantly sharing, communicating and sympathizing" is slightly informal. "Through regular sharing, communication, and empathy" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea.
"totally the crucial parts in the family" -> "integral parts of the family"
Explanation: "Totally the crucial parts in the family" is awkward and unclear. "Integral parts of the family" is a clearer and more precise way to express the importance of older family members.
"youngers in family" -> "young members of the family"
Explanation: "Youngers in family" is not grammatically correct. "Young members of the family" is a more appropriate phrase, indicating the younger individuals within the family unit.
"legally" -> "legitimately"
Explanation: "Legally" may imply a legal obligation rather than a moral or social one. "Legitimately" is a more appropriate term to convey the idea of rightful or morally justified care for older family members.
"the way which suitable for seniors" -> "the manner suitable for seniors"
Explanation: "The way which suitable for seniors" is grammatically incorrect. "The manner suitable for seniors" is a clearer and more grammatically correct expression, indicating the appropriate way to care for older family members.
"make them ecstatic with their life" -> "ensure their contentment in life"
Explanation: "Make them ecstatic with their life" is

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by expressing agreement with the notion that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older relatives who are no longer able to care for themselves physically, mentally, or financially. The writer discusses reasons supporting this view, including the sacrifices made by older generations for their children and the obligation of younger family members to reciprocate.
- How to improve: While the essay does cover the main points of the prompt, it could benefit from a clearer structure that explicitly addresses each aspect of the question (physical, mental, and financial support). Additionally, providing more specific examples or anecdotes could enhance the depth of analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, firmly agreeing with the idea that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older relatives. The writer consistently expresses this viewpoint and provides supporting arguments.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph directly reinforces the central position and avoids ambiguity or contradictory statements. Strengthening the thesis statement in the introduction can also help set a clear tone for the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas, albeit with some language issues, such as grammar and clarity. It discusses the responsibilities of younger family members in caring for older relatives and provides reasons to support this obligation. However, some ideas lack development or coherence due to language barriers.
- How to improve: Focus on improving language proficiency to convey ideas more effectively. Additionally, expand on each supporting point with specific examples or evidence to enhance the depth of analysis and strengthen the argument’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally stays on topic by discussing the responsibility of younger family members to support older relatives, there are instances of tangential discussion, such as the mention of loneliness and mental health issues faced by older family members.
- How to improve: Maintain a tighter focus on the main argument and avoid introducing unrelated ideas or examples. Ensure that each point directly relates to the central theme of the essay, which is the legal responsibility of younger family members in supporting older relatives.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and effectively argues in favor of the proposed stance. By addressing language issues and refining the structure and coherence of ideas, the essay could further improve its effectiveness in conveying the argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to organize information logically, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are instances of unclear or repetitive expression, such as in the introductory paragraph where the writer states their agreement with the prompt but does not directly address the topic until later in the essay. Additionally, some ideas are presented in a scattered manner, making it slightly challenging for the reader to follow the main argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next. The introduction should succinctly outline the writer’s position and preview the main points to be discussed. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help maintain coherence and guide the reader through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness vary. Each paragraph attempts to discuss a separate idea, but transitions between paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, leading to a disjointed flow of ideas. Furthermore, some paragraphs contain multiple points without clear delineation, causing confusion for the reader.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph addresses a single aspect of the argument and provides sufficient elaboration and examples to support it. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help signal the focus of the paragraph to the reader. Additionally, using transitional phrases or sentences to connect ideas between paragraphs will enhance coherence and cohesion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use cohesive devices to link ideas and create coherence. However, the range and effectiveness of cohesive devices are limited. Repetitive use of transitional phrases like "on the one hand," "moreover," and "to sum up" detracts from the essay’s overall cohesion. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices, with a reliance on basic linking words and phrases.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "consequently," and "nevertheless." Using pronouns, synonyms, and parallel structure can also aid in maintaining cohesion. Additionally, varying sentence structures and employing techniques like parallelism can enhance the flow of the essay and engage the reader more effectively.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of vocabulary, although some phrases are used imprecisely or inappropriately. For instance, "adequated" is not a commonly used word; "rationales" could be replaced with "reasons" for clearer communication. Additionally, there’s a lack of variety in vocabulary usage, with some terms repeated unnecessarily ("younger family members," "seniors," "youngers").
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim for a more diverse vocabulary by exploring synonyms and varying sentence structures. Avoid using uncommon words if they may confuse the reader. Replace repetitive phrases with synonyms or rephrase sentences for clarity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage throughout the essay. For example, "adequated" should be "adequate," "implement" should be "fulfill," "moderate" should be "responsibility," and "control" should be "support." Additionally, some expressions lack precision or clarity, such as "make for living" instead of "earn a living" or "vibrant and energetic force" which could be simply stated as "energetic individuals."
- How to improve: Practice using precise vocabulary by selecting words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Consult a thesaurus to find suitable alternatives for common words. Proofread your essay carefully to ensure each word is used correctly and effectively in context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally maintains readability, there are several spelling errors present, such as "finacial" instead of "financial," "adequated" instead of "adequate," "youngers" instead of "younger," "constanstly" instead of "constantly," and "ecstatic" instead of "content." These errors slightly detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell check tools or proofreading your work thoroughly before submission. Practice spelling commonly misspelled words and pay attention to specific patterns of mistakes to avoid repeating them. Additionally, reading more extensively can also help reinforce correct spelling.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some attempt at varied sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a noticeable lack of complexity and sophistication in sentence structure. The essay tends to rely heavily on simple sentence structures, resulting in a monotonous rhythm and limited syntactic variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and variety of structures, the writer should strive for greater diversity in sentence structures. Introducing complex and compound-complex sentences would not only improve the overall sophistication of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Incorporating phrases such as appositives, participial phrases, and subordinate clauses can add depth and complexity to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic grasp of grammar and punctuation, but there are numerous instances of errors throughout the text. These errors include subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect word choices, faulty parallelism, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas, incorrect placement of semicolons).
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on revising and editing the essay for common grammatical errors. Paying particular attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper word choice can significantly improve the clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, mastering punctuation rules, such as comma usage for clarity and semicolon usage for sentence cohesion, is essential for conveying ideas effectively. Proofreading the essay carefully and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can help identify and correct grammatical errors more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals argue that younger family members should legally be obliged to care for their elders if they are no longer physically, mentally, or financially independent. I strongly agree with this notion, for several reasons which I will elaborate further in this essay.

Firstly, it is widely supported that younger generations have a responsibility to support their older relatives when they are no longer able to meet their basic needs independently. Many older individuals have spent a significant portion of their lives working to provide for their families, sacrificing their own desires and comforts for the sake of their children. Therefore, it is only fair that when they reach a stage where they can no longer fully care for themselves, their adult children, who have attained maturity, should step in to provide assistance. This responsibility is not only a moral obligation but also a fundamental aspect of familial duty.

Furthermore, young adults represent a dynamic and energetic demographic in society, often capable of generating income and covering all household expenses. In contrast, elderly individuals may be physically limited and unable to maintain the same level of self-sufficiency as their younger counterparts. Thus, it becomes incumbent upon the youth to take on the responsibility of supporting and assisting their elders, ensuring their continued well-being and quality of life.

Neglecting the needs of older family members can have detrimental consequences, both for the seniors themselves and for the family unit as a whole. Without adequate care and support, elderly individuals may suffer from loneliness, feelings of worthlessness, and even mental illnesses. It is essential for younger family members to recognize the integral role that their elders play within the family structure and to provide them with the necessary care and attention they deserve.

In conclusion, it is not only reasonable but also morally imperative for younger family members to legally assume the responsibility of caring for their elders when they are no longer able to fully care for themselves. However, it is crucial that this care is provided in a manner that is suitable for seniors, ensuring their comfort and contentment in their later years.