In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses, so people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old houses in the local area.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In Vietnam and other countries, choosing to build houses in their own styles is not controlled like capitalist countries in cities. Hence , they are free to decide on architecture for their home. In my opinion, I believe that the negative sides of this trend are less significant in comparison with the positives sides. In this essay, I will analysize and explain my choice
On the one hand, there are some drawbacks of this trend. Firstly, it will make architecture becomes ugly and chaos. This is because there is no consistency in design. For example, you can see this if climb the mountain in Vung Tau and look down at the different style houses There are houses facing north, houses facing south or even houses that are with circle or colorful design. Furthermore, it may be one of the less attractive tourist attractions.
On the other hand, despite these aforementioned drawbacks, several benefits do exist. To begin, chosing to build houses in their own styles will create a comfortable feeling for home owner. This is mean that they can build everything they want and it is their taste. For instance, they are design a house that suits their preferences and they can design rooms or interiors according to their idea without anyone managing them. This main advantages is diversity and abundant in designs. If each household comes up with an idea and builds a house with unique beauty, that is also one of the reasons to attract tourists. The above things have been proven that positive sides of choosing build house in their own styles instead of building them with the same style in the past surpass the negative sides.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the pros of building houses according to each person's personal ideas today exceed the cons. Therefore, I would recommend that you feel free to create your own homes so you always feel comfortable and appreciate the things that belong to you.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"choosing to build houses in their own styles" -> "choosing to design houses in their own styles"
Explanation: "Design" is more precise in this context, as it specifically refers to the process of creating the architectural plans and layouts of the houses, which is more appropriate than "build," which typically implies construction rather than design.
"not controlled like capitalist countries in cities" -> "not regulated like cities in capitalist countries"
Explanation: The phrase "not controlled like capitalist countries in cities" is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies that the regulation is compared to that in cities within capitalist countries, improving the sentence structure and clarity.
"I believe that the negative sides of this trend are less significant" -> "I contend that the negative aspects of this trend are less significant"
Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and academically appropriate verb than "believe," and "aspects" is a more precise term than "sides," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context.
"will make architecture becomes ugly and chaos" -> "will render architecture ugly and chaotic"
Explanation: "Render" is a more formal and precise verb than "make," and "chaotic" is the correct adjective form to describe the state of disorder, replacing the incorrect "chaos."
"you can see this if climb the mountain" -> "one can observe this by climbing the mountain"
Explanation: "One can observe this by climbing the mountain" is more formal and grammatically correct than "you can see this if climb the mountain," which is grammatically incorrect and too informal.
"houses that are with circle or colorful design" -> "houses featuring circular or colorful designs"
Explanation: "Featuring" is more precise and formal than "are with," and "designs" should be plural to match the plural "houses."
"less attractive tourist attractions" -> "less attractive tourist destinations"
Explanation: "Destinations" is the correct term for places that attract tourists, whereas "attractions" refers to specific things that draw people to a place.
"chosing" -> "choosing"
Explanation: Corrects a spelling error.
"This is mean that" -> "This means that"
Explanation: "This means that" is the correct grammatical structure, correcting the misuse of "is mean."
"they can design a house that suits their preferences" -> "they can design a house that suits their preferences"
Explanation: This is a redundant repetition of "a house," which should be removed for clarity and conciseness.
"This main advantages is diversity and abundant in designs" -> "This main advantage is diversity and abundance in designs"
Explanation: "Advantage" should be singular, and "abundance" is the correct term for the quality of being plentiful, replacing "abundant," which is not the correct form in this context.
"If each household comes up with an idea and builds a house with unique beauty" -> "If each household develops an idea and constructs a house with unique beauty"
Explanation: "Develops" is more precise than "comes up with," and "constructs" is more formal than "builds" in this context.
"The above things have been proven that positive sides" -> "The above points demonstrate that the positive aspects"
Explanation: "Points" is more formal than "things," and "demonstrate" is more precise than "have been proven," which is too informal and vague.
"choosing build house in their own styles" -> "choosing to build houses in their own styles"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error by adding "to" and making "house" plural to match the context.
"you feel free to create your own homes" -> "you are encouraged to design your own homes"
Explanation: "Are encouraged" is more formal and appropriate than "feel free," which is too casual for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of allowing individuals to build houses in their own styles. The author clearly states their position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the discussion of the disadvantages is somewhat limited and lacks depth, particularly in exploring potential negative impacts on community identity or property values. The examples provided are relevant but could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides. The author should consider elaborating on the disadvantages, perhaps by discussing how a lack of uniformity might affect neighborhood aesthetics or community cohesion. Including more specific examples or statistics could also enhance the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the advantages of building houses in personal styles outweigh the disadvantages. However, the transition between discussing the drawbacks and the benefits could be smoother. The phrase "despite these aforementioned drawbacks" serves as a transition but feels abrupt and could be better integrated into the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the author should use more cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. Phrases that summarize the previous point before transitioning to the next can help create a more logical flow. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion can reinforce the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of individual house design, such as personal comfort and aesthetic diversity. However, some points are not fully developed. For instance, the idea that unique designs attract tourists is mentioned but not explored in detail. The supporting examples are relevant but could be more specific and detailed to provide a stronger foundation for the claims made.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing specific tourist attractions that have benefited from unique architecture could strengthen the argument. Additionally, using data or studies to support claims about the benefits of diverse housing styles could add credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of allowing individual house designs. However, there are moments where the discussion strays slightly, such as when the author mentions "tourist attractions" without clearly linking it back to the main argument about the advantages and disadvantages of personal design choices.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Additionally, revisiting the prompt in each paragraph can help maintain relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, but it would benefit from deeper analysis, more detailed examples, and improved cohesion to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The ideas are generally organized logically, with the drawbacks presented first, followed by the advantages. However, the transition between the two sides could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" effectively introduces the drawbacks, but the transition to the advantages could be more explicit to guide the reader through the argument more fluidly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "Conversely" or "In contrast" when moving from discussing drawbacks to advantages. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph, which will help in guiding the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with separate sections for the introduction, disadvantages, advantages, and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more structured development of ideas. For example, the paragraph discussing drawbacks could be divided into two distinct points, each supported by examples, rather than combining them into a single paragraph that feels slightly rushed.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on the point being made. Consider breaking down complex ideas into separate paragraphs to allow for more thorough exploration of each point. For instance, the drawbacks could be split into one paragraph discussing aesthetics and another discussing potential impacts on tourism.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "On the one hand," and "To begin," which help in linking ideas. However, there is a noticeable repetition of certain phrases and a lack of variety in cohesive devices. For example, the use of "this is because" and "this means" appears multiple times, which can detract from the overall fluidity of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "In addition," "Consequently," and "As a result." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs, making the relationships between points clearer to the reader.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument, focusing on the logical flow, paragraph structure, and variety of cohesive devices will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective expressions such as "comfortable feeling," "unique beauty," and "tourist attractions." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "build houses in their own styles" is repeated multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "build houses in their own styles," alternatives like "construct homes according to personal preferences" or "design residences that reflect individual tastes" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs would enrich the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "make architecture becomes ugly and chaos" is awkward and incorrect; it should be "make architecture ugly and chaotic." Additionally, "this main advantages is diversity and abundant in designs" contains grammatical errors and unclear phrasing.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity in vocabulary choice. For example, instead of "this main advantages is," it should be "the main advantage is." Moreover, ensuring that adjectives correctly modify nouns (e.g., "abundance of designs" instead of "abundant in designs") will enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay has several spelling errors, such as "analysize" (should be "analyze"), "chosing" (should be "choosing"), and "positive sides" (should be "positive aspects"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that highlight errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or reading it aloud can help catch spelling mistakes before submission. Creating a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary and its application, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling that could elevate the lexical resource band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" introduces contrasting ideas effectively. However, the overall range is limited, with many sentences being either simple or poorly constructed. Phrases like "this is mean that they can build everything they want" indicate a lack of complexity and sophistication in sentence formation.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that incorporate subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "this is mean that they can build everything they want," a more complex structure could be "this means that they have the freedom to construct their homes according to their personal preferences." Additionally, varying the beginning of sentences can help create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "the negative sides of this trend are less significant in comparison with the positives sides" contains a pluralization error ("positives sides" should be "positive sides"). Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the missing comma in "this if climb the mountain in Vung Tau," hinder readability. The phrase "this is mean" is also grammatically incorrect and should be "this means."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles (e.g., "the positive sides" instead of "positives sides"). Regular practice with grammar exercises and proofreading for common errors can be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, especially in complex sentences and before conjunctions. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation mistakes.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation will significantly raise the band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

In Vietnam and other countries, choosing to build houses in their own styles is not regulated like in capitalist countries. Hence, people are free to decide on the architecture for their homes. In my opinion, I contend that the negative aspects of this trend are less significant in comparison with the positive sides. In this essay, I will analyze and explain my choice.

On the one hand, there are some drawbacks to this trend. Firstly, it will make architecture become ugly and chaotic. This is because there is no consistency in design. For example, one can observe this by climbing the mountain in Vung Tau and looking down at the different style houses. There are houses facing north, houses facing south, or even houses that feature circular or colorful designs. Furthermore, it may result in less attractive tourist destinations.

On the other hand, despite these aforementioned drawbacks, several benefits do exist. To begin, choosing to build houses in their own styles will create a comfortable feeling for homeowners. This means that they can build everything they want according to their taste. For instance, they can design a house that suits their preferences and create rooms or interiors according to their ideas without anyone managing them. This main advantage is the diversity and abundance in designs. If each household develops an idea and constructs a house with unique beauty, that is also one of the reasons to attract tourists. The above points demonstrate that the positive aspects of choosing to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as in the past surpass the negative sides.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the pros of building houses according to each person’s personal ideas today exceed the cons. Therefore, I would recommend that you feel free to design your own homes so you always feel comfortable and appreciate the things that belong to you.