In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some nations, a number of individuals thinks that governments should set a limits for salaries which people could earn, while the others hold the belief that having an exceedingly high income is good for country. Personnally, i subscribe to the opinions that earning more means we are making the country better, so there should not be any restrictions for the amount of a person can earn.
On the one hand, the money which is made by working is an proof and a comparison to how hard we worked, so it is unethical to set limit for everyone including ambitious people who work painstakingly and aim for a weathy and happy life of their own. The idea of restricting personnal income could be consider short-sighted because the meaning of pormotion mostly mean the better salaries for people, so if the limits are set, people are likely to be discouraged from working, which could lead to many other consequences in manufacturing industries.
On the other hand, having a high salaries is undoubtedly positive for the country since it means people put a lot of effort in order to get it. A high income also motivates people to make more attempt in the workplace for promotion and salary increase. Speaking generally, people can make contributions to their country by simply putting more effort in their job and eventually boost the overall yields and productivities of the country, which make the economy grows.
In conclusions, limits for salaries should not be set so that people are motivated to try harder for high income and ultimately contribute the growth of their countries. It is simply a win-win for both people and thier nations by benefiting from the other.

---

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "a number of individuals thinks" -> "a number of individuals think"
   Explanation: Correcting the verb form from "thinks" to "think" aligns with the plural subject "individuals," ensuring grammatical accuracy and maintaining the formal tone.

2. "set a limits" -> "set limits"
   Explanation: Removing the definite article "a" before "limits" corrects the grammatical structure, as "limits" is an uncountable noun in this context.

3. "the others hold the belief" -> "others hold the belief"
   Explanation: Removing "the" before "others" corrects the grammatical structure, as "others" is a plural noun that does not require the definite article.

4. "having an exceedingly high income is good for country" -> "having an exceedingly high income benefits the country"
   Explanation: Replacing "is good for country" with "benefits the country" uses a more precise and formal verb, enhancing the academic tone.

5. "Personnally, i subscribe to the opinions" -> "Personally, I subscribe to the opinion"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "Personnally" to "Personally" and capitalizing "I" addresses basic grammar and punctuation errors, improving the professionalism of the text.

6. "the money which is made by working is an proof" -> "the money earned through work serves as proof"
   Explanation: Replacing "is an proof" with "serves as proof" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal phrase.

7. "set limit for everyone including ambitious people" -> "impose limits on everyone, including ambitious individuals"
   Explanation: Changing "set limit" to "impose limits" and "people" to "individuals" refines the language to be more precise and formal.

8. "aim for a weathy and happy life" -> "aim for a wealthy and happy life"
   Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "weathy" to "wealthy" addresses a typographical error, enhancing the professionalism of the text.

9. "could be consider short-sighted" -> "could be considered shortsighted"
   Explanation: Changing "could be consider" to "could be considered" corrects the verb form, and "short-sighted" is the correct adjective form.

10. "pormotion" -> "promotion"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "pormotion" to "promotion" addresses a typographical error.

11. "having a high salaries" -> "having high salaries"
    Explanation: Removing the article "a" before "high salaries" corrects the grammatical structure, as "high salaries" is an uncountable noun.

12. "make more attempt" -> "make more efforts"
    Explanation: Replacing "attempt" with "efforts" corrects the noun choice to match the context, enhancing the formality and precision.

13. "boost the overall yields and productivities" -> "boost overall yields and productivity"
    Explanation: Changing "productivities" to "productivity" corrects the grammatical number agreement, as "productivity" is typically an uncountable noun.

14. "make the economy grows" -> "boost the economy"
    Explanation: Replacing "make the economy grows" with "boost the economy" corrects the verb form and simplifies the phrase for clarity and formality.

15. "limits for salaries should not be set" -> "there should be no limits on salaries"
    Explanation: Changing "limits for salaries should not be set" to "there should be no limits on salaries" uses a more direct and formal structure, improving the clarity and flow of the sentence.

16. "It is simply a win-win for both people and thier nations" -> "This is a mutually beneficial arrangement for both individuals and their nations"
    Explanation: Replacing "It is simply a win-win" with "This is a mutually beneficial arrangement" uses more formal language and corrects the possessive form "thier" to "their."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding high salaries, presenting arguments for both the restriction of salaries and the benefits of high incomes. The first paragraph introduces the debate, while the subsequent paragraphs explore the reasons for both perspectives. However, the discussion of the opposing view is somewhat less developed, which could lead to a perception of imbalance in the analysis. For instance, while the essay mentions that high salaries motivate people, it does not delve deeply into the potential drawbacks of extreme income inequality, which could have strengthened the discussion.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay should provide a more balanced exploration of both views. This could involve elaborating on the arguments against high salaries, such as the potential for social inequality or the impact on lower-income workers. Including specific examples or statistics could also enhance the depth of the analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The writer’s position is clear from the outset, stating a preference for no salary limits. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the concluding paragraph. However, the clarity could be improved by ensuring that the arguments presented do not inadvertently suggest ambivalence. For example, phrases like "could be considered short-sighted" introduce uncertainty that may confuse the reader about the author’s firm stance.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should avoid hedging language and instead use definitive statements that reinforce their viewpoint. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in each paragraph can help to solidify the position throughout the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the notion that high salaries are beneficial, such as motivation for hard work and contributions to the economy. However, the development of these ideas is sometimes superficial. For instance, the argument about high salaries leading to increased productivity lacks specific examples or evidence to substantiate the claim, which weakens its impact.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples. This could include discussing real-world scenarios or citing studies that demonstrate the positive effects of high salaries on economic growth. Additionally, using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures could improve the overall quality of the writing.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate surrounding high salaries. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing the idea of personal ambition and happiness. While these points are relevant, they could be more tightly linked to the central argument about salary limits.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main question of whether salary limits should be imposed. This can be achieved by explicitly connecting each argument back to the implications of high salaries for society and the economy. Additionally, using topic sentences that clearly outline the focus of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, there are areas for improvement in depth, balance, and clarity that could elevate the score further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the two sides of the argument could be smoother. The first body paragraph discusses the negative implications of salary limits, while the second highlights the benefits of high salaries. While the points are relevant, the connection between the two could be more explicit to enhance coherence.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the drawbacks of salary limits, a sentence like "Conversely, it is also important to recognize the benefits that high salaries bring to the economy" would help guide the reader more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, the conclusion could be more distinct from the body paragraphs to reinforce its role as a summary of the argument.
  • How to improve: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of the paragraph. For example, the first body paragraph could begin with, "One significant argument against salary limits is that they undermine individual ambition and hard work." This approach will help clarify the focus of each paragraph and strengthen the overall structure.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," to introduce contrasting views. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow, such as "the money which is made by working is an proof." These issues can detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: To diversify and enhance the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," and "In addition," to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, ensure grammatical accuracy in phrases to maintain clarity. For example, revise "an proof" to "a proof" or "evidence" for better coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "exceedingly high income," "ambitious people," and "manufacturing industries." However, the vocabulary usage is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, the phrase "high salaries" is used multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the richness of the language.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "high salaries," alternatives such as "elevated earnings," "substantial compensation," or "lucrative salaries" could be employed. Expanding the vocabulary around concepts of income and motivation would also contribute to a more dynamic essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the argument. For example, the phrase "the money which is made by working is an proof" contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The term "personally" is misspelled as "personnally," and "pormotion" is also misspelled. Additionally, the phrase "the meaning of promotion mostly mean the better salaries" is unclear and could be expressed more precisely.
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on correct spelling and grammatical structures. For instance, revising the phrase to "the money earned through work serves as proof of our efforts" would clarify the intended meaning. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises and proofreading can help in achieving greater accuracy in word choice and spelling.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "personnally," "pormotion," "personnal," and "thier." These mistakes can undermine the overall professionalism of the writing and distract the reader from the content.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling in future writing tasks. Engaging in regular writing practice and seeking feedback from peers can also aid in identifying and correcting spelling errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "In some nations, a number of individuals thinks that governments should set a limits for salaries…" are prevalent. The use of complex structures is minimal, with few instances of subordinate clauses or varied sentence openings. Phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are used correctly to introduce contrasting views, but the overall sentence variety is lacking, which affects the flow and engagement of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance sentence variety, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The idea of…" or "A high income also…", the writer could use introductory clauses such as "While some argue that…" or "Although high salaries can lead to…". Additionally, integrating relative clauses (e.g., "which can lead to…") and conditional sentences (e.g., "If salaries are capped, then…") can enrich the grammatical range.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "a limits" should be "a limit," and "the others hold the belief" could be simplified to "others believe." The phrase "is an proof" should be corrected to "is proof," and "personnal" is a misspelling of "personal." Additionally, the use of commas is inconsistent, such as in "which could lead to many other consequences in manufacturing industries," where a comma before "which" would improve readability. The use of lowercase "i" instead of "I" is also a significant grammatical oversight.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement (e.g., "a number of individuals think" instead of "thinks") and pluralization (e.g., "limits" instead of "a limits"). Practicing spelling and ensuring the correct use of capital letters will also enhance the overall quality. Additionally, revising punctuation usage, particularly around clauses and lists, can help clarify meaning and improve the flow of ideas. Engaging in grammar exercises and seeking feedback on drafts can further aid in developing these skills.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, addressing these areas will significantly improve the grammatical range and accuracy, potentially raising the band score in future assessments.

Bài sửa mẫu

In some nations, a number of individuals think that governments should set limits on the salaries that people can earn, while others hold the belief that having an exceedingly high income is good for the country. Personally, I subscribe to the opinion that earning more means we are making the country better, so there should not be any restrictions on the amount a person can earn.

On the one hand, the money earned through work serves as proof of how hard we have worked, so it is unethical to set limits on everyone, including ambitious individuals who work painstakingly and aim for a wealthy and happy life of their own. The idea of restricting personal income could be considered shortsighted because the meaning of promotion mostly means better salaries for people. If limits are set, individuals are likely to be discouraged from working, which could lead to many other consequences in manufacturing industries.

On the other hand, having high salaries is undoubtedly positive for the country since it means people put a lot of effort into achieving it. A high income also motivates people to make more efforts in the workplace for promotion and salary increases. Speaking generally, people can contribute to their country by simply putting more effort into their jobs and eventually boosting the overall yields and productivity of the country, which helps the economy grow.

In conclusion, limits on salaries should not be set so that people are motivated to try harder for high incomes and ultimately contribute to the growth of their countries. It is simply a win-win situation for both individuals and their nations, benefiting from each other.