In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The development of a fast-paced society together with technology, science and transportation industry, nowadays, in many nations globally, citizens can go to the supermarket and purchase food that are manufactured all over the world. From my point of view, I somewhat agree with this development since purchasing overseas food can create an opportunity to explore and experience cuisine around the world although it has a potential to destroy the demand in eating and forgetting traditional food.

First, purchasing food manufactured overseas gives people a golden opportunity to explore and experience the cuisine culture of different nations. Particularly, having chances to try different kinds of global foods assists humans in learning and researching about other nations. For instance, people who used to purchase and try cuisine from different countries all over the world will have a deeper understanding about the culture of one specific nation, which benefits them when they travel or work with foreign people. Because they can easily adapt and socialize with native people, which results in having a good rapport with them.

Secondly, consuming worldwide food can result in the decrease in the demand of eating home country’s food, which easily forget the value and culture of traditional foods. Specifically, citizens who purchase and consume overseas food regularly tend to have xenophilia and have a bad outlook on their home country’s food. Case in point, Vietnamese adolescents and adults are more likely to prefer to consume Korean, Thai and Chinese food, because of such issues, their understanding about Vietnamese cuisine decreased dramatically since they have a deeper understanding and a big fan of other nations cuisine culture.

Finally, going to a supermarket and purchasing food manufactured all over the world is a good idea because of the chance of trying and understanding cuisine globally. However, it also has a side effect since it has a potential to demolish the value and culture of traditional foods through the decrease in the demand of eating one's own country’s food.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The development of a fast-paced society together with technology, science and transportation industry" -> "The rapid development of society, driven by technological, scientific, and transportation advancements"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and lacks precision. The revised version clarifies the relationship between societal development and the contributing factors, using more formal and precise language.
"nowadays, in many nations globally" -> "currently, across many nations globally"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is somewhat informal and vague; "currently" is more precise and formal. Also, "across" is more appropriate than "in" to describe the global extent of the phenomenon.
"can go to the supermarket and purchase food that are manufactured all over the world" -> "can visit supermarkets and purchase foods manufactured globally"
Explanation: "Go to the supermarket" is informal; "visit supermarkets" is more formal. "That are" should be "that are" or "that are manufactured," for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"From my point of view, I somewhat agree" -> "I partially agree"
Explanation: "From my point of view" is redundant when introducing a personal opinion; "I partially agree" is more direct and formal.
"a golden opportunity" -> "a significant opportunity"
Explanation: "Golden" is an idiom that may sound overly colloquial in academic writing; "significant" is more neutral and appropriate.
"having chances to try different kinds of global foods" -> "having the opportunity to sample various global cuisines"
Explanation: "Having chances" is informal and vague; "having the opportunity" is more formal and precise. "Global foods" is less specific than "global cuisines," which encompasses the cultural aspect of food.
"will have a deeper understanding about the culture of one specific nation" -> "will gain a deeper understanding of the culture of a specific nation"
Explanation: "Will have a deeper understanding about" is awkwardly phrased; "will gain a deeper understanding of" is more natural and formal.
"which benefits them when they travel or work with foreign people" -> "which benefits them in their interactions with foreign individuals"
Explanation: "Foreign people" is informal and imprecise; "foreign individuals" is more formal and specific.
"can easily adapt and socialize with native people" -> "can readily adapt and interact with native individuals"
Explanation: "Socialize" is somewhat informal and vague; "interact" is more precise and formal, and "individuals" is preferred over "people" in academic writing.
"which easily forget the value and culture of traditional foods" -> "which may lead to the neglect of traditional food values and culture"
Explanation: "Forget" is an incorrect verb choice; "neglect" is the correct term for intentional disregard. Also, "traditional food values and culture" is more specific and formal than "the value and culture of traditional foods."
"have a bad outlook on their home country’s food" -> "develop a negative perception of their country’s cuisine"
Explanation: "Have a bad outlook on" is informal and vague; "develop a negative perception of" is more precise and formal.
"because of such issues, their understanding about Vietnamese cuisine decreased dramatically" -> "as a result, their knowledge of Vietnamese cuisine significantly decreased"
Explanation: "Because of such issues" is vague; "as a result" is clearer and more formal. "Understanding about" is less precise than "knowledge of," and "decreased dramatically" is redundant; "significantly decreased" is sufficient.
"going to a supermarket and purchasing food manufactured all over the world" -> "visiting supermarkets and purchasing globally sourced foods"
Explanation: "Going to a supermarket" is informal; "visiting supermarkets" is more formal. "Manufactured all over the world" is awkward; "globally sourced" is more concise and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of global food availability. The author acknowledges the benefits of exploring diverse cuisines while also highlighting the potential negative impact on traditional foods. However, the response could be more balanced. The positive side is elaborated upon more than the negative, which could lead to an impression of bias. The conclusion reiterates the main points but does not clearly state a definitive position, which is crucial for a strong response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that both sides of the argument are given equal weight. This can be achieved by providing more detailed examples and analysis of the negative impacts of consuming foreign foods. Additionally, a clear statement of the overall stance in the conclusion would help solidify the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position that leans towards viewing the global availability of food as a positive development. However, the phrase "I somewhat agree" introduces ambiguity about the author’s stance. This uncertainty may confuse readers about the author’s true feelings on the topic. Throughout the essay, while the positive aspects are well-articulated, the negative aspects are somewhat overshadowed, which detracts from the clarity of the position.
- How to improve: The author should adopt a more definitive stance by clearly stating whether they believe the development is primarily positive or negative. Using phrases like "I strongly believe" or "I firmly oppose" can help convey a clearer position. Additionally, reinforcing this stance consistently throughout the essay will enhance clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of global food availability, such as cultural exploration and culinary diversity. However, the support for these ideas could be more robust. For instance, while the author mentions that trying different cuisines helps in understanding other cultures, the explanation lacks depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument. The negative side is also presented but is less developed, which weakens the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should include more detailed examples and evidence for each point made. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics about the impact of global cuisine on local food culture would provide stronger support. Additionally, elaborating on how these experiences with foreign food can lead to cultural misunderstandings or loss of identity would enhance the depth of the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of global food availability. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For example, the mention of "xenophilia" and its impact on traditional food consumption could be better integrated into the overall argument rather than being presented as a somewhat standalone point.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main question of whether the availability of global food is a positive or negative development. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each point back to the central argument and avoiding tangential discussions that do not directly support the thesis.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both sides, a clearer position, stronger support for ideas, and tighter focus on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the positive and negative aspects of global food availability. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs follow a logical sequence. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of exploring global cuisine, while the second addresses the potential drawbacks. However, the transition between the two points could be smoother. For instance, the connection between the benefits of trying international foods and the drawbacks of neglecting traditional cuisine could be more explicitly stated to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of global cuisine, a sentence like "However, this increased exposure to international foods can lead to unintended consequences, such as…" would clarify the relationship between the two points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first discussing the advantages of global food access and the second addressing the potential loss of traditional cuisine. However, the conclusion could be more distinct and should summarize the main points more clearly. Currently, it feels somewhat like a continuation of the previous paragraph rather than a standalone summary.
- How to improve: Ensure that the conclusion is clearly marked and summarizes the key arguments presented in the essay. A good practice is to restate the thesis in light of the arguments made, reinforcing the overall message. For example, "In conclusion, while the availability of international foods offers significant cultural benefits, it is crucial to maintain a balance to preserve traditional culinary practices."
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first," "secondly," and "finally," which help in structuring the argument. However, there is a limited range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the use of "which" and "because" is prevalent, but other devices such as "in addition," "on the other hand," or "consequently" could enhance the flow and clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, practice incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of starting the second paragraph with "Secondly," consider using "On the other hand" to introduce the contrasting viewpoint. Additionally, using phrases like "This illustrates that…" or "As a result…" can help clarify the connections between ideas and improve overall coherence.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases like "golden opportunity," "explore and experience," and "decrease in the demand." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with terms like "food" and "cuisine," which are used frequently without much variation. This limits the overall lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "food," alternatives like "cuisine," "dishes," or "meals" could be utilized. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives (e.g., "exotic," "traditional," "local") could add depth to the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some appropriate vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "have a bad outlook on their home country’s food" could be seen as vague and somewhat informal. Additionally, the term "xenophilia" is used correctly but may not be the best choice for clarity, as it is less commonly understood.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim for clarity and appropriateness in word choice. Instead of "bad outlook," phrases like "negative perception" or "diminished appreciation" could convey the intended meaning more effectively. Furthermore, providing definitions or simpler alternatives for less common terms like "xenophilia" could enhance understanding.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits good spelling, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances where spelling could be improved, such as "manufactured" instead of "manufactured" and "cuisine culture" which could be more effectively expressed as "cultural cuisine."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, focusing on commonly misspelled words and ensuring that terms are used correctly. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing practice exercises that emphasize spelling can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, enhancing clarity in word choice, and focusing on spelling, the writer can elevate their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as “purchasing overseas food can create an opportunity to explore and experience cuisine around the world although it has a potential to destroy the demand in eating and forgetting traditional food” showcases an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, the essay occasionally relies on similar structures, particularly in the second paragraph, where many sentences begin with “people” or “citizens,” which can lead to a monotonous rhythm.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more introductory phrases, use passive voice where appropriate, and vary the subjects of sentences. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with “people,” the writer could use phrases like “Those who…” or “Individuals who…” to create more diversity. Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences (e.g., “If consumers continue to prefer international foods, they may lose touch with their culinary heritage”) could add depth to the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase “food that are manufactured all over the world” should be corrected to “food that is manufactured all over the world” to ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the sentence “Because they can easily adapt and socialize with native people, which results in having a good rapport with them” is a fragment and should be connected to the previous sentence for coherence. Punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma after “nowadays” in the first sentence, also affect readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. A thorough proofreading process can help identify and correct fragmented sentences and ensure that all clauses are properly connected. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas, can enhance clarity. The writer could benefit from reviewing resources on common grammatical errors and engaging in exercises that target these weaknesses.

Overall, while the essay achieves a solid band score of 7 for grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the identified weaknesses in structure variety and grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

The development of a fast-paced society, together with technology, science, and the transportation industry, has led to a situation where, nowadays, in many nations globally, citizens can go to the supermarket and purchase food that is manufactured all over the world. From my point of view, I partially agree with this development since purchasing overseas food can create a significant opportunity to explore and experience cuisine from around the world, although it has the potential to destroy the demand for traditional food.

First, purchasing food manufactured overseas gives people a golden opportunity to explore and experience the culinary culture of different nations. Particularly, having chances to try different kinds of global foods assists individuals in learning and researching about other nations. For instance, people who purchase and try cuisine from various countries will gain a deeper understanding of the culture of a specific nation, which benefits them when they travel or work with foreign individuals. Because they can easily adapt and socialize with native people, this results in having a good rapport with them.

Secondly, consuming worldwide food can lead to a decrease in the demand for one’s home country’s food, which may result in neglecting the value and culture of traditional foods. Specifically, citizens who purchase and consume overseas food regularly tend to develop a negative perception of their home country’s cuisine. For example, Vietnamese adolescents and adults are more likely to prefer Korean, Thai, and Chinese food. Because of this, their understanding of Vietnamese cuisine has significantly decreased as they become bigger fans of other nations’ culinary cultures.

Finally, going to a supermarket and purchasing food manufactured all over the world is a good idea because it provides the chance to try and understand cuisine globally. However, it also has a side effect since it has the potential to demolish the value and culture of traditional foods through the decrease in the demand for eating one’s own country’s food.