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In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development

in the era of globalization, some markets can provided a wide range of foods from different coners of the world which offer an opportunity for consumers to try several oversea delycacy. I am of the opinion that it can make buying become more convinient, hence, it create a sense of satisfaction for individuals. In additon, it can solve the financial problem.
Beginning with benefits of supermarket with various products, helping individuals in selecting items. The reason for this is adapting a wide range of products which will create a rich resources of supermarket, consumers can have a plethora of item to choose the product that suitable for their taste. For example, in Vietnamese family, housewife can alter the menu, from having traditional foods such as Pho, Bun cha to foreign meals like sushi. A change in meals regulally will contribute to sense of joy in family members. Moreover, it can help travellers having issues with local foods in first time in that region by prodviding their similar foods.
An alternative benefits of this is a increasing in the amout of income. With numerous of diferent products, it will help in attracting custumers. Because a research show that individuals tend to get fashinated by unique products because of their curiosity, hence, the enhancement in number of product can be an ideal sollution to tackle financial burden.
In conclusion, having rich products can bring many benefits for supermarket such as a growth in revenue. For the custumer, it can avoild time consuming in finding the items.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "in the era of globalization" -> "in the era of globalization"
    Explanation: The phrase "in the era of globalization" is correct as it is. No change is needed here as it is a standard academic expression.

  2. "some markets can provided" -> "some markets can provide"
    Explanation: "provided" should be "provide" to maintain grammatical correctness and verb agreement with the singular subject "markets."

  3. "a wide range of foods from different coners of the world" -> "a wide range of foods from various corners of the world"
    Explanation: "coners" is a typographical error and should be "corners." Additionally, "various" is more precise and formal than "different" in this context.

  4. "oversea delycacy" -> "overseas delicacies"
    Explanation: "oversea" is incorrect; "overseas" is the correct adverbial form. Also, "delycacy" is a typographical error and should be "delicacies."

  5. "it can make buying become more convinient" -> "it can make shopping more convenient"
    Explanation: "buying" is not the correct term here; "shopping" is more appropriate in this context. Also, "convinient" is a typographical error and should be "convenient."

  6. "hence, it create a sense of satisfaction" -> "hence, it creates a sense of satisfaction"
    Explanation: "it create" should be "it creates" to maintain subject-verb agreement.

  7. "it can solve the financial problem" -> "it can alleviate financial problems"
    Explanation: "alleviate" is a more precise verb than "solve" in this context, as it implies reducing the severity of financial issues rather than completely solving them.

  8. "Beginning with benefits of supermarket with various products" -> "Firstly, the benefits of supermarkets with various products"
    Explanation: "Beginning with" is informal and vague; "Firstly" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

  9. "helping individuals in selecting items" -> "aiding individuals in their selection of items"
    Explanation: "aiding" is more formal than "helping," and "their selection of items" is more precise than "in selecting items."

  10. "adapting a wide range of products" -> "offering a wide range of products"
    Explanation: "adapting" is incorrect here; "offering" is the correct verb to describe the action of providing products.

  11. "create a rich resources of supermarket" -> "provide a rich resource base for supermarkets"
    Explanation: "create a rich resources of supermarket" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Provide a rich resource base for supermarkets" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  12. "consumers can have a plethora of item to choose" -> "consumers can have a plethora of items to choose"
    Explanation: "item" should be plural "items" to agree with "plethora."

  13. "alter the menu" -> "alter their menu"
    Explanation: "alter" should be "alter their" to correctly indicate possession.

  14. "A change in meals regulally" -> "Regular changes in meals"
    Explanation: "A change in meals regulally" is grammatically incorrect; "Regular changes in meals" is grammatically correct and clearer.

  15. "it can help travellers having issues" -> "it can assist travelers experiencing issues"
    Explanation: "help travellers having issues" is awkward and informal; "assist travelers experiencing issues" is more formal and precise.

  16. "prodviding their similar foods" -> "providing similar foods"
    Explanation: "prodviding" is a typographical error and should be "providing."

  17. "a increasing in the amout of income" -> "an increase in the amount of income"
    Explanation: "a increasing" is grammatically incorrect; "an increase" is the correct form.

  18. "numerous of diferent products" -> "numerous different products"
    Explanation: "numerous of" is grammatically incorrect; "numerous different" is correct.

  19. "Because a research show" -> "Because research shows"
    Explanation: "Because a research show" is grammatically incorrect; "Because research shows" is correct.

  20. "get fashinated by unique products" -> "become fascinated by unique products"
    Explanation: "get fashinated" is a typographical error and should be "become fascinated."

  21. "hence, the enhancement in number of product" -> "hence, the enhancement in the number of products"
    Explanation: "number of product" should be "number of products" to agree with the plural subject.

  22. "can be an ideal sollution" -> "can be an ideal solution"
    Explanation: "sollution" is a typographical error and should be "solution."

  23. "avoild time consuming in finding the items" -> "avoid time-consuming searches for items"
    Explanation: "avoild time consuming in finding the items" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "avoid time-consuming searches for items" is clearer and more formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the positive aspects of supermarkets offering a variety of international foods. The writer argues that this development enhances convenience and satisfaction for consumers, which aligns with the prompt’s request for an opinion. However, the essay does not sufficiently explore potential negative aspects, which could provide a more balanced view. For instance, it could mention issues like the impact on local food culture or environmental concerns related to global food transport.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should consider acknowledging and briefly discussing potential negative consequences of global food availability. This could involve mentioning how it might affect local farmers or lead to a loss of traditional food practices. Acknowledging both sides would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer presents a clear position that the availability of international foods in supermarkets is a positive development. This is evident in phrases like "I am of the opinion that it can make buying become more convenient." However, the position could be reinforced with more consistent language and clearer transitions between ideas. For example, the phrase "an alternative benefits of this" is awkwardly phrased and could confuse the reader about the main argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer should use more straightforward language and ensure that transitions between points are smooth. Phrases like "On the other hand" or "Additionally" can help signal shifts in the argument or introduce new points. Consistent use of clear topic sentences for each paragraph would also help maintain a strong position throughout the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the convenience of diverse food options and the potential for increased supermarket revenue. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the example of Vietnamese families altering their menus is relevant, it could be expanded with more detail or additional examples. The mention of curiosity driving consumer interest is a good point but lacks supporting evidence or elaboration.
    • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. This could involve citing specific statistics or studies related to consumer behavior or discussing how supermarkets have successfully implemented diverse product ranges. Additionally, expanding on the implications of these ideas would strengthen the overall argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of supermarkets offering international foods. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the latter part of the essay. The discussion about financial benefits feels somewhat disconnected from the main argument about consumer satisfaction and convenience.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main argument. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that all points are relevant and contribute to the overall thesis. Additionally, revisiting the prompt at the end of each paragraph can help keep the discussion aligned with the topic.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of the issue, clearer transitions, more detailed support for ideas, and a tighter focus on the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the benefits of supermarkets offering a variety of international foods. The introduction effectively states the writer’s opinion, and the body paragraphs are organized around specific benefits. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing consumer satisfaction to financial benefits is somewhat abrupt. The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main point. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between ideas. For example, after discussing consumer satisfaction, a transitional phrase like "In addition to consumer satisfaction, there are also financial benefits for supermarkets" would create a more cohesive flow.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs themselves could be more effectively structured. The first body paragraph mixes several ideas without clear delineation, making it harder for the reader to follow. The second paragraph also lacks a clear focus, as it combines different concepts without adequate development.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations. For instance, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on consumer satisfaction and the other on the variety of food options available. This would allow for deeper exploration of each point and improve clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "In conclusion," but the range is limited. There are instances where cohesion is lacking, such as in the transition between sentences and ideas. For example, the phrase "An alternative benefits of this is a increasing in the amout of income" lacks clarity and proper cohesion, making it difficult to follow the argument.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," "On the other hand," and "Consequently." This will help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, ensure grammatical accuracy in phrases; for instance, "An alternative benefit of this is an increase in income" would be a more coherent and grammatically correct statement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments. By focusing on clearer organization, more effective paragraphing, and a wider range of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of their writing, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "globalization," "delicacy," and "plethora." However, the range is limited and often repetitive. For example, the phrase "wide range of foods" is used multiple times, which detracts from the overall lexical variety. Additionally, terms like "financial problem" and "rich resources" are somewhat vague and could be replaced with more specific vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "wide range," alternatives like "diverse selection" or "extensive variety" could be employed. Additionally, using more specific terms related to the context, such as "culinary diversity" instead of "various products," would enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, "helping individuals in selecting items" could be more clearly articulated as "aiding consumers in making informed choices." The phrase "a change in meals regulally" is also awkward and imprecise, as "regulally" appears to be a misspelling of "regularly."
    • How to improve: Writers should focus on clarity and precision by choosing words that accurately convey their intended meaning. For example, instead of "helping individuals," using "facilitating consumer choice" would be more precise. Additionally, proofreading for clarity and ensuring that terms are used correctly in context will enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "provided" (should be "provide"), "coners" (should be "corners"), "delcyacy" (should be "delicacy"), "convinient" (should be "convenient"), "additon" (should be "addition"), "custumers" (should be "customers"), and "avoild" (should be "avoid"). These errors detract from the professionalism of the writing and can hinder comprehension.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help identify misspelled words and awkward phrases. Creating a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing it before submitting an essay can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, it falls short in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "in the era of globalization" and "I am of the opinion that" show an attempt at complexity, yet many sentences are straightforward and lack subordination. The use of phrases such as "helping individuals in selecting items" and "an alternative benefits of this is a increasing in the amount of income" indicates a limited range of more complex structures.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety and complexity of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "it can make buying become more convenient," the writer could say, "Although buying can become more convenient, it also raises questions about food quality." Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can add variety. Practicing sentence transformation exercises and reading more complex texts can help in this regard.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, "some markets can provided" should be "some markets can provide," indicating a tense error. The phrase "which offer an opportunity for consumers to try several oversea delycacy" contains a spelling error ("oversea" should be "overseas" and "delicacy" is misspelled). Additionally, the sentence "Beginning with benefits of supermarket with various products, helping individuals in selecting items" is awkwardly constructed and lacks a clear subject. Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as missing commas in compound sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Additionally, practicing grammar exercises that focus on common mistakes can be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules for comma usage, especially in compound sentences and lists. Reading aloud can also help in identifying awkward phrasing and punctuation errors.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and some relevant examples, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are needed to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety, grammatical correctness, and punctuation will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the era of globalization, some markets can provide a wide range of foods from different corners of the world, which offer an opportunity for consumers to try several overseas delicacies. I am of the opinion that it can make buying more convenient; hence, it creates a sense of satisfaction for individuals. In addition, it can alleviate financial problems.

Beginning with the benefits of supermarkets with various products, they help individuals in selecting items. The reason for this is that adapting a wide range of products will create a rich resource base for supermarkets, allowing consumers to have a plethora of items to choose from that are suitable for their taste. For example, in a Vietnamese family, the housewife can alter the menu, from having traditional foods such as Pho and Bun Cha to foreign meals like sushi. Regular changes in meals will contribute to a sense of joy among family members. Moreover, it can assist travelers experiencing issues with local foods for the first time in that region by providing similar foods.

An alternative benefit of this is an increase in the amount of income. With numerous different products, it will help in attracting customers. Because research shows that individuals tend to become fascinated by unique products due to their curiosity, hence, the enhancement in the number of products can be an ideal solution to tackle financial burdens.

In conclusion, having a rich variety of products can bring many benefits for supermarkets, such as growth in revenue. For the consumer, it can avoid time-consuming searches for items.

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