In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?
In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?
In recent years, large amounts of food is being wasted in several countries around the world. This situation is commonly occurring due to many reasons, however, there will be some solutions that can be taken to tackle this phenomenon.
There could be two major problems existing now. To begin with , thanks to advanced agricultural technologies which are applied to stimulate the effectiveness of growing. Farming has become increasingly mechanized these days , this is used for maximizing harvests. Moreover , the transporting way of farming production is also being improved besides distribution to supermarket chains. Having had several benefits , restaurants and shops are easily accessible to fresh food with a view to serving delicious dishes to their consumers. Therefore , consumers may order a lot of food but not eat it all , so it could be thrown away without a second thought. Another point should be considered is that, people fail to make a detailed note before shopping, this can be seen in busy employees, they tend to focus on working and neglect to utilize all food they have bought previously.
Plenty of feasible measures can be implemented to reduce the amount of agricultural production. The first solution could be that restaurants and shops ought to apply a law that requires consumers only order enough dishes , which is not as much as they did in the past. Over-ordering food must face a fine, that costs a half of their total bills. If this rule is used broadly for all everyone, regardless of their social strata, it will be helpful in preventing food from being put in garbage irresponsibly. Secondly, people should pay more attention to what they are going to buy, just purchase sufficiently nutritious vegetables and meat. Having done this well, the problems of throwing away food are not difficult to be addressed.
In conclusion, the action of wasting food is a common phenomenon in many countries, but there are effective steps that can be used to solve major problems, making it worse day by day.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"large amounts of food is being wasted" -> "large amounts of food are being wasted"
Explanation: The verb "is" should be replaced with "are" to agree with the plural subject "amounts of food," ensuring grammatical correctness and maintaining formal tone. -
"there will be some solutions that can be taken" -> "there are several solutions that can be implemented"
Explanation: "There are" is more precise and formal than "there will be," which implies a future tense that is not supported by the context. "Implemented" is a more specific and formal term than "taken," which is vague and informal. -
"thanks to advanced agricultural technologies which are applied to stimulate the effectiveness of growing" -> "thanks to the application of advanced agricultural technologies to enhance crop yields"
Explanation: "The application of advanced agricultural technologies to enhance crop yields" is more precise and academically appropriate than the original phrase, which is awkwardly constructed and vague. -
"this is used for maximizing harvests" -> "this aims to maximize harvests"
Explanation: "Aims to maximize" is a more direct and formal expression than "is used for," which is less specific and slightly informal. -
"the transporting way of farming production" -> "the transportation of agricultural products"
Explanation: "The transportation of agricultural products" is a more formal and precise term than "the transporting way of farming production," which is awkward and unclear. -
"Having had several benefits" -> "This has several benefits"
Explanation: "This has several benefits" is more direct and formal than "Having had several benefits," which is awkwardly phrased and less clear. -
"with a view to serving delicious dishes" -> "to serve high-quality dishes"
Explanation: "To serve high-quality dishes" is more direct and formal than "with a view to serving delicious dishes," which is verbose and less formal. -
"so it could be thrown away without a second thought" -> "resulting in unnecessary disposal"
Explanation: "Resulting in unnecessary disposal" is more concise and formal than "so it could be thrown away without a second thought," which is colloquial and vague. -
"people fail to make a detailed note before shopping" -> "consumers often fail to plan their purchases carefully"
Explanation: "Consumers often fail to plan their purchases carefully" is more precise and formal than "people fail to make a detailed note before shopping," which is informal and vague. -
"they tend to focus on working" -> "they prioritize work"
Explanation: "They prioritize work" is more concise and formal than "they tend to focus on working," which is verbose and less precise. -
"a half of their total bills" -> "half their total bill"
Explanation: "Half their total bill" is grammatically correct and more concise than "a half of their total bills," which is awkward and incorrect. -
"If this rule is used broadly for all everyone" -> "If this rule is universally applied"
Explanation: "If this rule is universally applied" is more formal and precise than "If this rule is used broadly for all everyone," which is awkward and informal. -
"making it worse day by day" -> "worsening the situation daily"
Explanation: "Worsening the situation daily" is more formal and precise than "making it worse day by day," which is colloquial and lacks specificity.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for food waste and proposing solutions. The first paragraph outlines two main reasons: the efficiency of agricultural technologies leading to over-ordering and the lack of planning in shopping habits. The second paragraph presents two solutions: implementing a law to limit food orders and encouraging mindful purchasing. However, the explanation of the reasons could be more detailed, particularly in connecting the points more explicitly to the issue of waste.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each reason is clearly linked to food waste. For example, elaborating on how over-ordering directly leads to waste and providing specific examples or statistics could strengthen the argument. Additionally, addressing any potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives could provide a more comprehensive view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the issue of food waste and the need for solutions. However, the clarity of the position could be improved. Phrases like "there will be some solutions that can be taken" are somewhat vague and could be more assertive. The conclusion reiterates the problem but lacks a strong, definitive statement about the importance of addressing it.
- How to improve: The writer should aim for a more assertive tone throughout the essay. Using definitive language, such as "It is essential that we address food waste," can help convey a stronger position. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly ties back to the main argument will help maintain focus.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes of food waste and potential solutions. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the essay mentions that restaurants should limit orders, it does not explore how this could be practically implemented or the potential challenges of enforcing such a law. The solutions are presented but not thoroughly supported with examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should aim to elaborate on each idea presented. This could involve providing examples of successful initiatives in other countries or discussing the potential benefits and drawbacks of the proposed solutions. Including data or studies related to food waste could also enhance the credibility of the arguments.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on food waste and its causes and solutions. However, there are moments where the connection to the topic could be clearer. For example, the mention of "busy employees" could be expanded to explain how this specifically leads to food waste, rather than just stating it as a fact.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each reason and solution back to the central theme of food waste. Additionally, avoiding vague statements and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall argument will help keep the essay on track.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis, clarity of position, and support for arguments. By elaborating on points made, using more assertive language, and ensuring all ideas are tightly connected to the topic, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing causes of food waste to solutions feels abrupt. The first body paragraph introduces two causes but could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. The ideas are somewhat related, but the logical progression could be enhanced to guide the reader more smoothly through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that summarize the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, making the argument more cohesive.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with a clear separation between the discussion of causes and solutions. However, the first body paragraph is somewhat cluttered with multiple ideas that could be better organized. For example, the discussion about agricultural technologies and consumer behavior could be split into two distinct paragraphs for clarity. This would allow each paragraph to focus on a single aspect of food waste, making the argument more digestible.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the first body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the technological aspects of food production and the other on consumer behavior. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting details. This will not only improve clarity but also enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "moreover," and "secondly," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited. There are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened with additional cohesive devices, such as "for example," "as a result," or "in contrast." The use of cohesive devices is generally effective but could be more varied to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, try incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, when introducing examples or elaborating on points, use phrases like "for instance" or "to illustrate." Additionally, when contrasting ideas, consider using "on the other hand" or "however." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "agricultural technologies," "mechanized," and "nutritious." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation. For example, the phrase "food is being wasted" is used in a straightforward manner without synonyms or more sophisticated expressions. Additionally, phrases like "delicious dishes" could be enhanced with more descriptive adjectives or varied vocabulary to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "food," alternatives such as "meals," "produce," or "ingredients" could be employed. Furthermore, using more advanced adjectives or phrases to describe the food or the situation could elevate the essay’s lexical sophistication.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "thanks to advanced agricultural technologies which are applied to stimulate the effectiveness of growing" is vague and could be more clearly articulated. The term "transporting way of farming production" is also awkward and unclear, which detracts from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity in their word choices. Instead of "stimulate the effectiveness of growing," a more precise phrase could be "enhance crop yields." Additionally, rephrasing "transporting way of farming production" to "transportation methods for agricultural products" would clarify the meaning. Regularly reviewing vocabulary in context can help in selecting the most appropriate words.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with few errors. However, there are minor mistakes, such as "the transporting way of farming production" where "transporting" could be better expressed as "transportation." Additionally, the phrase "making it worse day by day" could be more effectively articulated without spelling errors, as it implies a lack of clarity in expression.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in proofreading practices, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, creating a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help improve overall spelling skills. Familiarity with vocabulary through reading can also contribute to better spelling.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Regular practice, reading, and revision can significantly enhance these aspects.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "thanks to advanced agricultural technologies" and "this can be seen in busy employees" shows an attempt to incorporate varied structures. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incomplete clauses, such as "this situation is commonly occurring due to many reasons," which could be more effectively expressed. The use of passive voice ("is being wasted") is noted, but it could be balanced with more active constructions to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice combining shorter sentences into more complex ones and using a variety of conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of saying "Farming has become increasingly mechanized these days," the writer could say, "Farming has become increasingly mechanized in recent years, allowing for greater efficiency in production." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and avoiding repetitive structures will enhance the overall fluency of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "there could be two major problems existing now" is awkwardly constructed and could be simplified to "two major problems exist." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary space before commas (e.g., "To begin with ,") and inconsistent use of commas, which can confuse readers. The sentence "Having had several benefits, restaurants and shops are easily accessible to fresh food" is also problematic, as it implies a past perfect tense that does not align with the context.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the rules of subject-verb agreement, particularly with singular and plural nouns (e.g., "large amounts of food are being wasted" instead of "is being wasted"). Regular practice with punctuation rules, especially regarding comma placement, will also be beneficial. The writer might consider reading their work aloud to catch awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, as this can help identify areas needing revision. Additionally, utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can provide further insights into common mistakes.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in using a range of grammatical structures and generally conveys its ideas, attention to grammatical precision and varied sentence construction will enhance clarity and effectiveness. Regular practice and revision will be key to achieving a higher band score in future writing tasks.
Bài sửa mẫu
In recent years, large amounts of food are being wasted in several countries around the world. This situation commonly occurs due to many reasons; however, there are several solutions that can be implemented to tackle this phenomenon.
There could be two major problems existing now. To begin with, thanks to advanced agricultural technologies that are applied to enhance crop yields, farming has become increasingly mechanized these days. This aims to maximize harvests. Moreover, the transportation of agricultural products is also being improved, alongside distribution to supermarket chains. This has several benefits, as restaurants and shops are easily accessible to fresh food in order to serve high-quality dishes to their consumers. Therefore, consumers may order a lot of food but not eat it all, resulting in unnecessary disposal. Another point to consider is that people often fail to plan their purchases carefully; this can be seen in busy employees who tend to prioritize work and neglect to utilize all the food they have bought previously.
Plenty of feasible measures can be implemented to reduce the amount of food thrown away. The first solution could be that restaurants and shops ought to apply a law that requires consumers to only order enough dishes, which is not as much as they did in the past. Over-ordering food must face a fine that costs half their total bill. If this rule is universally applied to everyone, regardless of their social strata, it will be helpful in preventing food from being disposed of irresponsibly. Secondly, people should pay more attention to what they are going to buy and only purchase sufficiently nutritious vegetables and meat. If this is done well, the problems of throwing away food will not be difficult to address.
In conclusion, the action of wasting food is a common phenomenon in many countries, but there are effective steps that can be taken to solve major problems, worsening the situation daily.