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In many countries, the use of plastic bags has been restricted or banned in an effort to reduce environmental impact. Some people argue that this is an effective solution, while others believe it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the use of plastic bags has been restricted or banned in an effort to reduce environmental impact. Some people argue that this is an effective solution, while others believe it is unnecessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Plastic bags are widely using in the world because of its application on shopping, work and more. But in many countries, the use of plastic bags has been restricted or banned in an effort to reduce environmental impact. I think this problem can be seen in two ways by the neccessary and the negative effects of plastic bags.  

First, plastic bags are useful and familiar for all people especially old people. It can be used to carry foods, garbbage or anything and it easy to take or buy. People use plastic bags everywhere, when they're at home or at shopping market. When the restriction are applied, despite the fact that some countries have paper or another material of bags can replace this one, people can't use anything else because they will think the new bags will be more cost and they're just used to the old one. 

Despite the useful of this plastic bags, its negative effects are more danger. The plastic can't be destroyed easily, it will spend a several years to destroyed this material. In the world, the species of plastic are really dangerous. Animals can eat or stuck on this and negatively effect the ecosysteam. The small species of plastic called microplastíc are significantly dangerous because it may exist in our meals and we don't know what to do if it stuck on our body. 

Because the negative effects of plastic bags are now bigger than its useful side, I think governments should restrict or ban it away from people's life and replace it with something friendly with environment to escape our life. Don't make our world becomes the earth with a tons of plastic.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Plastic bags are widely using in the world" -> "Plastic bags are widely used globally"
    Explanation: "Using" is a gerund form that is grammatically incorrect in this context. "Used" is the correct form of the verb to describe the widespread application of plastic bags. Additionally, "globally" is more precise and formal than "in the world."

  2. "the neccessary" -> "the necessary"
    Explanation: "Neccessary" is a typographical error. The correct spelling is "necessary."

  3. "old people" -> "older individuals"
    Explanation: "Old people" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Older individuals" is more respectful and academically appropriate.

  4. "It can be used to carry foods, garbbage or anything and it easy to take or buy." -> "It can be used to carry food, garbage, or other items, and it is easy to obtain or purchase."
    Explanation: "Foods" should be "food" for grammatical correctness. "Garbbage" is a typographical error and should be "garbage." "Anything" is vague; "other items" is more specific. "It easy" should be "it is easy" for grammatical correctness. "Take or buy" is informal; "obtain or purchase" is more formal.

  5. "When the restriction are applied" -> "When restrictions are applied"
    Explanation: "Restriction" should be plural to match the verb "are."

  6. "despite the fact that some countries have paper or another material of bags can replace this one" -> "despite the fact that some countries have introduced paper or alternative materials to replace this one"
    Explanation: "Another material of bags" is awkward and unclear. "Alternative materials" is more precise and formal. "Can replace this one" is informal; "to replace this one" is more formal.

  7. "they will think the new bags will be more cost" -> "they will consider the new bags to be more expensive"
    Explanation: "More cost" is grammatically incorrect. "More expensive" is the correct term.

  8. "The plastic can’t be destroyed easily" -> "Plastic is not easily degradable"
    Explanation: "Can’t be destroyed easily" is informal and imprecise. "Is not easily degradable" is more scientifically accurate and formal.

  9. "it will spend a several years to destroyed this material" -> "it takes several years to degrade this material"
    Explanation: "Spend" is incorrect in this context; "takes" is the correct verb. "A several years" is grammatically incorrect; "several years" is the correct phrase.

  10. "The small species of plastic called microplastíc" -> "The small plastic particles known as microplastics"
    Explanation: "Species of plastic" is incorrect; "particles" is the correct term. "Microplastíc" is likely a typographical error and should be "microplastics."

  11. "we don’t know what to do if it stuck on our body" -> "we are unsure how to respond if it becomes lodged on our bodies"
    Explanation: "It stuck on our body" is informal and grammatically incorrect. "Becomes lodged on our bodies" is more precise and formal.

  12. "Don’t make our world becomes the earth with a tons of plastic" -> "Let us not turn our world into a planet with tons of plastic"
    Explanation: "Don’t make our world becomes" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Let us not turn our world into a planet with tons of plastic" is grammatically correct and more formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding the use of plastic bags, mentioning their usefulness and the negative environmental impacts. However, the exploration of both sides is quite superficial. For instance, while the essay mentions that plastic bags are familiar and convenient, it does not adequately explore the counterargument that some people find the ban unnecessary. The discussion lacks depth and fails to provide a balanced view of the arguments presented in the prompt.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state the opposing viewpoint regarding the ban on plastic bags. This could include discussing the economic implications of such bans or the convenience of plastic bags compared to alternatives. Providing examples or statistics could also strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position against plastic bags, suggesting that their negative effects outweigh their benefits. However, the clarity of this position is undermined by the initial discussion of their usefulness, which may confuse the reader about the writer’s stance. The transition from discussing the benefits to the drawbacks is abrupt and lacks a clear logical flow.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should more explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. Using phrases like "In my opinion" or "I believe" can help clarify the stance. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph logically supports the main argument will improve coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat relevant but lack sufficient development and support. For example, the mention of microplastics is a significant point, yet it is not fully explained or linked back to the main argument regarding the banning of plastic bags. The examples provided are vague and do not convincingly support the claims made.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with specific examples, facts, or studies. For instance, when discussing the dangers of plastic, providing statistics on plastic waste or its impact on wildlife would strengthen the argument. Each point should be clearly connected to the overall thesis.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing plastic bags and their environmental impact. However, there are instances where the focus shifts, such as when discussing the inconvenience of switching to alternative bags without adequately linking this back to the overall argument about the necessity of the ban.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all arguments are relevant and contribute to the overall discussion. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main question.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should aim for a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints, clarify their position, provide more detailed support for their arguments, and ensure that all content remains relevant to the topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the usefulness of plastic bags to their negative effects is somewhat abrupt. The argument about the usefulness of plastic bags is presented first, but it could benefit from a clearer connection to the subsequent discussion on their negative impacts. The ideas within paragraphs also need to be more logically sequenced; for example, the mention of microplastics appears suddenly without a smooth transition from the previous point about the dangers of plastic.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate to the thesis. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "In contrast," can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Structuring the paragraphs to first present a point and then provide supporting evidence or examples can also improve clarity.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more developed and cohesive. For instance, the first body paragraph mixes several ideas about the usefulness of plastic bags without fully developing each point. The second body paragraph, while focused on the negative effects, lacks a clear structure and could benefit from more detailed examples or explanations.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. The writer could consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a logical progression of ideas will help maintain coherence. For example, the second paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the environmental impact of plastic bags and another discussing the implications for wildlife.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "but," "despite," and "because." However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and their application is sometimes awkward. For instance, phrases like "it can be used to carry foods, garbbage or anything" could be better connected to the previous sentence to enhance flow. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices does not always clarify the relationships between ideas, which can lead to confusion.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," "however," and "consequently." This will help clarify the relationships between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can also help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the coherence and cohesion of their essay, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Words like "restricted," "banned," "environmental impact," "useful," and "negative effects" are appropriately used. However, there is a noticeable reliance on basic vocabulary and phrases, which limits the overall lexical variety. For example, the phrase "useful and familiar for all people" could be enhanced with synonyms or more descriptive terms to convey a richer meaning.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. Instead of repeating "useful," consider alternatives such as "beneficial," "advantageous," or "practical." Additionally, using phrases like "environmentally friendly alternatives" instead of "something friendly with environment" would elevate the lexical sophistication.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from clarity. For example, "the species of plastic" is misleading; it would be more accurate to refer to "types of plastic." The phrase "the small species of plastic called microplastíc" also contains a spelling error and could be better articulated as "the small particles known as microplastics."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using terms that accurately reflect their intended meaning. Reviewing vocabulary related to environmental issues and plastic pollution can help. For instance, instead of "the negative effects are more danger," a more precise phrasing would be "the negative effects pose a greater danger."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "neccessary" (necessary), "garbbage" (garbage), "its" (it’s), "ecosysteam" (ecosystem), and "microplastíc" (microplastics). These errors can disrupt the reader’s understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regularly reviewing vocabulary can also help reinforce correct spelling in context.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and employs some relevant vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By expanding their vocabulary, focusing on precise word choice, and enhancing spelling skills, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For example, "Plastic bags are widely using in the world because of its application on shopping, work and more" is a simple structure that could be enhanced with more complex clauses. Additionally, the use of phrases like "it can be used" and "people use plastic bags everywhere" shows a repetitive pattern that does not showcase a variety of grammatical forms.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of stating "Plastic bags are useful and familiar for all people especially old people," the writer could say, "Although plastic bags are useful and familiar to many, especially the elderly, their environmental impact cannot be overlooked." This not only adds variety but also enhances clarity and depth in the argument.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "Plastic bags are widely using" should be "Plastic bags are widely used," indicating a misunderstanding of verb forms. The phrase "its application on shopping, work and more" should use "in" instead of "on." Additionally, punctuation is inconsistent; for instance, "it easy to take or buy" is missing the verb "is," making it "it is easy to take or buy." Furthermore, the use of commas is often incorrect or absent, such as in "when they’re at home or at shopping market," which should be "when they’re at home or at the shopping market."
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly on verb tenses and forms, would be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, can help improve clarity. Reading more academic texts can also provide insights into correct grammar and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant discussion on the topic, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical correctness will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Plastic bags are widely used in the world because of their application in shopping, work, and more. However, in many countries, the use of plastic bags has been restricted or banned in an effort to reduce environmental impact. I think this problem can be seen in two ways: the necessity and the negative effects of plastic bags.

First, plastic bags are useful and familiar to all people, especially older individuals. They can be used to carry food, garbage, or other items, and they are easy to obtain or purchase. People use plastic bags everywhere, whether they are at home or at the shopping market. When restrictions are applied, despite the fact that some countries have introduced paper or alternative materials to replace plastic bags, people often feel they cannot use anything else because they believe the new bags will be more expensive, and they are just used to the old ones.

Despite the usefulness of plastic bags, their negative effects are more dangerous. Plastic is not easily degradable; it takes several years to degrade this material. In the world, the types of plastic are really harmful. Animals can eat or become stuck in plastic, which negatively affects the ecosystem. The small plastic particles known as microplastics are significantly dangerous because they may exist in our food, and we are unsure how to respond if they become lodged in our bodies.

Because the negative effects of plastic bags are now greater than their usefulness, I think governments should restrict or ban them from people’s lives and replace them with something more environmentally friendly. Let us not turn our world into a planet with tons of plastic.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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