"In many countries, traffic congestion is a serious issue. What are the main causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to address it?"

It is true that many countries around the world have seen a serious issues in the traffic congestion. This essay will discuss the main causes for this problem and propose some possible solution to address it.
A range factors are responsible for the increasing of traffic jams in many countries. One reason for this situation in the major city is the massive population living in a big city. This is because many cities provides good careers, a variety of facilities such as shopping mall or entertainment centers. As a results, many people tend to live in metropolis which contrubutes to put pressure in transport volume. Another dominant factor that contributes to this issue is that the rate of car ownership can increase the numerous vehicles on the road. This is due to the fact that people nowadays can purchase their own cars easily. Therefore, there is no control for the high volume of flow on the road which cause movement blockage.
Several solutions should be implemented to tackle this problem. The first way is that government should invest in infrastructure development for small towns. This can be achieved by developing economic in rural areas, providing more occupational opportunities and improving educational facilities in the remote areas. This can help reduce the amount of people living in the cities and decrease traffic congestion. Another solution is that the authority should raise taxes on those individuals who drive personal cars to the centre of town and encourage them to commute to work by using public transport. This is the key to control the volume of movement in the core of a city.
To conclude, several factors have led to the rising of traffic jams, but measures are available to address this issue.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"serious issues" -> "serious issues"
Explanation: The phrase "serious issues" is grammatically correct, but using "serious problem" would be more precise and formal in this context.
"discuss the main causes for this problem" -> "examine the primary causes of this issue"
Explanation: "Discuss" is somewhat informal for academic writing. "Examine" is a more formal alternative, and "primary causes" adds specificity to the analysis.
"A range factors are responsible for the increasing of traffic jams" -> "Various factors contribute to the increasing incidence of traffic congestion"
Explanation: "A range of factors" could be expressed more precisely as "Various factors." "Responsible for the increasing of traffic jams" is awkward and lacks clarity; "contribute to the increasing incidence of traffic congestion" is clearer and more formal.
"in the major city" -> "in major cities"
Explanation: "In the major city" should be "in major cities" for grammatical correctness and clarity, as the issue of traffic congestion is not confined to a single city.
"many cities provides good careers" -> "many cities provide ample career opportunities"
Explanation: "Provides" should be "provide" for subject-verb agreement. "Ample career opportunities" is a more sophisticated phrase than "good careers."
"As a results" -> "As a result"
Explanation: "As a results" contains a grammatical error; it should be "As a result" to indicate a singular consequence.
"which contrubutes to put pressure in transport volume" -> "which contributes to increased traffic volume"
Explanation: "Contrubutes" is a misspelling of "contributes." "Transport volume" can be simplified to "traffic volume" for clarity.
"the rate of car ownership can increase the numerous vehicles" -> "the high rate of car ownership contributes to the proliferation of vehicles"
Explanation: "Can increase the numerous vehicles" is awkward and unclear. "Contributes to the proliferation of vehicles" is more precise and formal.
"there is no control for the high volume of flow on the road" -> "there is no control over the high traffic volume"
Explanation: "High volume of flow on the road" is wordy and unclear. "High traffic volume" is more concise and precise.
"Several solutions should be implemented" -> "Several solutions ought to be implemented"
Explanation: "Should be implemented" can be replaced with "ought to be implemented" for a slightly more formal tone.
"invest in infrastructure development for small towns" -> "invest in infrastructure development in rural areas"
Explanation: "For small towns" is too restrictive; "in rural areas" is a broader and more suitable alternative.
"This can be achieved by developing economic in rural areas" -> "This can be achieved by fostering economic development in rural areas"
Explanation: "Developing economic in rural areas" is grammatically incorrect. "Fostering economic development" is a more precise and formal phrase.
"encouraging them to commute to work by using public transport" -> "encouraging them to commute to work using public transport"
Explanation: "By using public transport" can be simplified to "using public transport" for clarity and conciseness.
"This is the key to control the volume of movement" -> "This is key to controlling traffic volume"
Explanation: "The key to control the volume of movement" is awkwardly phrased. "Key to controlling traffic volume" is clearer and more concise.
"To conclude, several factors have led to the rising of traffic jams" -> "In conclusion, several factors have contributed to the increase in traffic congestion"
Explanation: "To conclude" is a bit informal for academic writing. "Rising of traffic jams" should be "increase in traffic congestion" for clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing the main causes of traffic congestion and proposing measures to tackle the problem. It identifies population concentration in urban areas and the increase in car ownership as primary causes, and suggests investing in rural infrastructure and promoting the use of public transport as solutions.
- How to improve: While the essay covers the main points adequately, enhancing the depth of analysis and providing more specific examples could further strengthen the response. For instance, elaborating on the economic and social factors contributing to population concentration in urban areas and providing data or case studies to support the proposed solutions would enrich the discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by acknowledging the severity of traffic congestion and advocating for specific measures to address it, such as investing in rural infrastructure and promoting public transport usage.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state the proposed solutions in the introduction and reiterate them in the conclusion. Additionally, reinforcing the stance with stronger language and providing logical transitions between paragraphs would contribute to a more cohesive argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the causes of traffic congestion and potential solutions, albeit with limited development and support. It briefly explains factors like population concentration and car ownership, and suggests investing in rural infrastructure and implementing congestion charges.
- How to improve: To extend and support ideas effectively, the essay could provide more detailed explanations and examples to illustrate the impact of population concentration and car ownership on traffic congestion. Additionally, incorporating relevant statistics or research findings would lend credibility to the proposed solutions and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic by addressing the causes of traffic congestion and proposing measures to alleviate the problem. However, there are instances of minor digression, such as briefly discussing the benefits of living in cities.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should avoid tangential discussions and prioritize content directly related to the prompt. Clear topic sentences and careful organization of ideas can help ensure coherence and relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of organization, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. However, the lack of a clear thesis statement in the introduction affects coherence. Additionally, the body paragraphs could benefit from stronger topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay more effectively. For instance, the first body paragraph could introduce the causes of traffic congestion, while the second paragraph could focus on proposed solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider crafting a thesis statement that outlines the main causes and proposed solutions in the introduction. Furthermore, ensure each body paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea of that paragraph, improving the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, though there is room for improvement in paragraph structure and coherence. Each paragraph addresses a separate aspect of the topic, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, the body paragraphs lack sufficient development and depth, leading to a somewhat choppy flow.
- How to improve: Aim for a more structured approach to paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. Furthermore, utilize transition words and phrases to create cohesion between paragraphs, guiding the reader through the essay more seamlessly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("this," "that"), conjunctions ("but"), and transitional phrases ("to conclude"). However, their usage is limited, resulting in occasional abrupt shifts between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in cohesive devices employed, which can hinder the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices, including pronouns, conjunctions, transitional phrases, and synonyms, to enhance coherence and cohesion. Additionally, ensure cohesive devices are used consistently and appropriately to maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some varied terminology such as "traffic congestion," "metropolis," "infrastructure development," and "occupational opportunities." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance the richness and sophistication of expression. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "traffic jams," synonyms like "gridlock" or "traffic congestion" could be employed.
- How to improve: To enrich the vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and domain-specific terminology relevant to urban planning and transportation. Additionally, explore nuanced vocabulary related to the causes and consequences of traffic congestion, such as "urbanization pressures" or "vehicular saturation."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally adequate level of vocabulary precision, although there are instances of imprecise word choices that slightly detract from clarity and coherence. For example, "economic" could be more precisely substituted with "economic revitalization" or "economic diversification" to convey a clearer meaning. Furthermore, the use of "movement blockage" could be replaced with a more precise term like "traffic bottleneck" or "road congestion."
- How to improve: Enhance precision by selecting words that accurately convey intended meanings and contexts. Consider consulting a thesaurus or academic sources to identify more precise synonyms and terms specific to the topic. Additionally, aim for clarity by avoiding ambiguous or vague language, opting instead for terms with explicit meanings.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits noticeable spelling errors, such as "issues" instead of "issue," "contrubutes" instead of "contributes," and "occupational" instead of "occupational." While these errors do not significantly impede comprehension, they detract from the overall professionalism and coherence of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing systematic proofreading strategies, such as spell-checking tools, reading the essay aloud, and seeking feedback from peers or instructors. Additionally, practice spelling commonly misspelled words and pay close attention to homophones and irregular spellings. Developing a habit of revising and editing written work meticulously can help minimize spelling errors and improve overall clarity and correctness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and compound sentences throughout the essay. For example, "It is true that many countries around the world have seen a serious issues in the traffic congestion" is a simple sentence, while "Another dominant factor that contributes to this issue is that the rate of car ownership can increase the numerous vehicles on the road" is a compound sentence with a dependent clause. However, there is a lack of complex sentence structures or varied sentence beginnings, which limits the variety in the essay’s structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating complex sentences with subordinate clauses or participial phrases. Varying the beginnings of sentences by using introductory phrases or clauses can also add complexity and interest to the writing. For instance, instead of starting most sentences with subject-verb structure, experiment with introductory phrases like "In light of the increasing urbanization trends," or "Considering the economic incentives for city living," followed by varied sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays generally accurate grammar and punctuation, but there are notable errors throughout. For instance, "This is because many cities provides good careers," contains subject-verb agreement issues ("cities" should be "cities provide"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("Several factors have led to the rising of traffic jams, but measures are available to address this issue."). These errors occasionally disrupt the clarity and flow of the essay.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency throughout the essay. Review the rules for comma usage, particularly in compound sentences, to ensure correct punctuation. Additionally, consider using more complex sentence structures to minimize the occurrence of run-on sentences and maintain coherence. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help catch and correct these errors, enhancing overall grammatical accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is indeed true that traffic congestion poses serious issues in many countries worldwide. This essay will examine the primary causes of this issue and propose some possible solutions to address it.

Various factors contribute to the increasing incidence of traffic congestion in major cities. One reason for this situation is the massive population living in big cities. This is because many cities provide ample career opportunities, along with a variety of facilities such as shopping malls or entertainment centers. As a result, many people tend to live in metropolises, which contributes to increased traffic volume. Another significant factor contributing to this issue is the high rate of car ownership, which leads to the proliferation of vehicles on the road. This is due to the ease with which people can purchase their own cars nowadays, leading to a lack of control over the high traffic volume and causing movement blockages.

Several solutions ought to be implemented to tackle this problem. The first approach is for the government to invest in infrastructure development in rural areas. This can be achieved by fostering economic development, providing more job opportunities, and improving educational facilities in remote areas. Encouraging people to settle in these areas can help reduce the number of people living in cities and alleviate traffic congestion. Another solution is for authorities to raise taxes on individuals who drive personal cars into the city center and encourage them to commute to work using public transport. This is key to controlling traffic volume in the core of a city.

In conclusion, several factors have contributed to the increase in traffic congestion, but measures are available to address this issue.

“In many countries, traffic congestion is a serious issue. What are the main causes of this problem, and what measures can be taken to address it?”