In marriages today, some argue that it is the rosponsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debate over the responsibility of both spouses to have an income for the family has become increasingly debated recently. From my perspective, I'm utterly advocating for this argument, particularly regarding more living standard and the satisfaction they might get.

Firstly, both parents having income can lead to the enhancement in aspects of lives. Their offspring immediately take advantage of it, enabling them to have higher chances to study and entertain. Furthermore, it could diminish financial burden, leading to an increase in living standard day by day. By keeping each other's back, they might possibly overcome the obstacles even if it is challenging. For instance, if the breadwinner was sick, the others have to take the responsibility of earning money.

Secondly, when both spouses work for the family's money, the two of them feel equally appreciated and productive. When only breadwinners earn the income for their family, it leads to the others feeling useless. As a result, many struggles could happen due to the dissatisfaction, leading to mental hindrances to others and even their offspring. For instance, if both husband and wife were capable of buying a new car, they would feel very satisfied.

To conclude, both spouses have the income that brings out many advantages, in regard to the higher living standard in daily life and the pleasantness of each other.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"increasingly debated" -> "increasingly discussed"
Explanation: "Debated" can imply a more confrontational or argumentative tone, whereas "discussed" is neutral and more appropriate for academic writing, suggesting a thorough examination of the topic without emotional connotation.
"I’m utterly advocating" -> "I strongly support"
Explanation: "I’m utterly advocating" uses the contraction "I’m," which is informal. "I strongly support" maintains a formal tone and avoids contractions.
"more living standard" -> "higher standard of living"
Explanation: "More living standard" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Higher standard of living" is the correct phrase, providing clarity and formality.
"the satisfaction they might get" -> "the satisfaction they may derive"
Explanation: "Get" is somewhat informal and vague in this context. "Derive" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"enhancement in aspects of lives" -> "improvement in various aspects of life"
Explanation: "Enhancement in aspects of lives" is awkward and unclear. "Improvement in various aspects of life" is clearer and more formal.
"immediately take advantage of it" -> "immediately benefit from this"
Explanation: "Take advantage of it" can imply opportunistic behavior, which is not necessarily the intended meaning. "Benefit from this" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing.
"diminish financial burden" -> "reduce financial burdens"
Explanation: "Diminish" is correct but "burden" should be plural to match the context of multiple financial responsibilities.
"leading to an increase in living standard day by day" -> "resulting in a gradual increase in the standard of living"
Explanation: "Day by day" is informal and vague. "Gradual increase in the standard of living" is more precise and formal.
"keeping each other’s back" -> "supporting each other"
Explanation: "Keeping each other’s back" is an idiom that is too informal for academic writing. "Supporting each other" is straightforward and formal.
"the others have to take the responsibility of earning money" -> "the other spouse must assume the responsibility of earning income"
Explanation: "The others" is vague and informal; "the other spouse" is more specific and formal. "Assume the responsibility of earning income" is more precise and formal than "take the responsibility of earning money."
"feel equally appreciated and productive" -> "feel equally valued and productive"
Explanation: "Appreciated" can imply gratitude, which is less formal than "valued," which is more appropriate in an academic context.
"leads to the others feeling useless" -> "leads to the other spouse feeling unproductive"
Explanation: "Feeling useless" is too informal and emotionally charged. "Feeling unproductive" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing.
"many struggles could happen" -> "numerous challenges could arise"
Explanation: "Many struggles" is informal and vague. "Numerous challenges" is more precise and formal.
"mental hindrances to others and even their offspring" -> "psychological challenges for both partners and their children"
Explanation: "Mental hindrances" is less specific and formal. "Psychological challenges" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, and "both partners and their children" is clearer than "others and even their offspring."
"both husband and wife were capable of buying a new car" -> "both spouses were able to purchase a new vehicle"
Explanation: "Husband and wife" is less formal and slightly outdated; "spouses" is more inclusive and formal. "Purchase a new vehicle" is more formal than "buy a new car."

These changes enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by arguing in favor of both spouses earning an income. However, it does not fully explore the extent to which the author agrees or disagrees with the statement. The phrase "I’m utterly advocating for this argument" suggests a strong agreement, but the essay lacks a clear articulation of the extent of this agreement. The response would benefit from explicitly stating whether the author believes both spouses should always work or if there are circumstances where one might not need to.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should clearly define their position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, they should consider discussing potential counterarguments or situations where the opposite might be true, which would provide a more balanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay indicates a clear position in favor of both spouses earning an income, it lacks consistency in reinforcing this stance throughout the body paragraphs. The use of phrases like "both parents having income can lead to the enhancement in aspects of lives" is vague and does not directly connect back to the argument about shared responsibility. The conclusion also does not effectively summarize the position taken in the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity and consistency, the author should use topic sentences in each paragraph that directly reflect their main argument. Each point made should tie back to the central thesis, reinforcing the position taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the benefits of shared financial responsibility and the emotional impact of both spouses working. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with concrete examples. For instance, the mention of "higher chances to study and entertain" lacks specificity and does not clearly connect to the argument about shared responsibility.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could include statistics about dual-income households, studies on family dynamics, or real-life scenarios that illustrate the benefits of both spouses working. Additionally, expanding on the implications of these ideas would strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the responsibilities of spouses in terms of earning income. However, some sentences are slightly off-topic or unclear, such as "By keeping each other’s back, they might possibly overcome the obstacles even if it is challenging." This statement, while relevant, could be more directly tied to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. They could also benefit from outlining their essay before writing to ensure that all points are relevant and clearly connected to the thesis.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic but lacks depth and clarity in several areas. By addressing these points, the writer can improve their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of both spouses earning an income, which is a strong point. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the two body paragraphs each address distinct aspects of the argument. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits for children to the emotional satisfaction of spouses feels abrupt. The connection between these ideas could be more explicitly stated to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis statement. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Moreover," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help guide the reader through the argument and clarify the relationships between points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more developed, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the argument about emotional satisfaction is somewhat underexplored. The conclusion, while summarizing the main points, could also reiterate the thesis more directly.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by detailed examples and explanations. Expanding on the points made, particularly in the second body paragraph, would provide a more robust argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by restating the thesis in a more impactful way, reinforcing the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "To conclude," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "By keeping each other’s back" could be better linked to the preceding sentence to clarify how it relates to the financial responsibilities discussed.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases that indicate contrast, addition, and cause-effect relationships. For instance, using phrases like "In contrast," "As a result," or "Consequently" can help clarify the relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of the argument will improve overall coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing logical organization, developing paragraphs more fully, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "enhancement," "financial burden," and "breadwinner" used appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "both spouses" and "income for the family," which appear multiple times. This limits the lexical variety and can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider using synonyms or alternative phrases. For example, instead of repeating "income for the family," you could use "household earnings" or "family finances." Additionally, incorporating more varied expressions related to the topic, such as "dual-income households" or "financial partnership," would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "more living standard" is awkward and should be "higher living standards." Similarly, "keeping each other’s back" is not a standard expression; "supporting each other" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. Review phrases and idioms to ensure they are used correctly. For instance, instead of "the others feeling useless," you could say "the non-breadwinner feeling undervalued." This will help to clarify your arguments and enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a notable spelling error: "rosponsibility" should be "responsibility." Additionally, "living standard" is used incorrectly in the context; it should be "standard of living." While the overall spelling is mostly accurate, such errors can significantly impact the reader’s perception of your writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing your essay, take a moment to read through it carefully, focusing specifically on spelling. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing software can also help catch errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and reviewing vocabulary lists can strengthen your spelling skills.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling accuracy—you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for your IELTS Task 2 essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For example, the use of "Firstly, both parents having income can lead to the enhancement in aspects of lives" showcases an attempt at a complex structure. However, many sentences are quite similar in form, which limits the overall variety. Phrases like "the others have to take the responsibility of earning money" and "when both spouses work for the family’s money" are somewhat repetitive in structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "the others have to take the responsibility," the writer could say, "if one spouse is unable to work due to illness, the other must take on the responsibility of earning money." Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can help create a more dynamic flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the enhancement in aspects of lives" should be "the enhancement of aspects of life." Additionally, "the others feeling useless" lacks a clear subject and verb agreement, as it should be "the other spouse feeling useless." Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, are present, particularly in complex sentences where clauses are joined. For instance, "if the breadwinner was sick, the others have to take the responsibility of earning money" could benefit from a clearer structure and punctuation.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing sentence diagramming can help clarify sentence structure. Furthermore, the writer should pay attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud may help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for corrections before submission.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and some relevant examples, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly raise the band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

The debate over the responsibility of both spouses to earn an income for the family has become increasingly discussed recently. From my perspective, I strongly support this argument, particularly regarding the higher standard of living and the satisfaction they may derive from it.

Firstly, both parents having an income can lead to improvements in various aspects of life. Their offspring immediately benefit from this, enabling them to have higher chances to study and enjoy entertainment. Furthermore, it could reduce financial burdens, resulting in a gradual increase in the standard of living day by day. By supporting each other, they can possibly overcome obstacles, even if they are challenging. For instance, if the breadwinner is sick, the other spouse must assume the responsibility of earning income.

Secondly, when both spouses work for the family’s income, they both feel equally valued and productive. When only one spouse earns the income for the family, it leads to the other spouse feeling unproductive. As a result, numerous challenges could arise due to dissatisfaction, leading to psychological challenges for both partners and their children. For instance, if both husband and wife were able to purchase a new vehicle, they would feel very satisfied.

To conclude, both spouses earning an income brings many advantages, in regard to the improvement in various aspects of life and the satisfaction of each other.