In recent time, getting online or playing games on smart phone is becoming more popular among teenagers that reading books. Why is this the case and what can be done to promote the reading habit of young people?

Over the several decades, there is an ongoing trend towards entertaining on smartphones rather than read books among youngsters. In this essay, I will explain this phenomenon and give some solutions in order to promote the reading habit of teenagers.
To begin with, the inclination towards using smartphones instead of reading books has two compelling reasons. First, the use of technology is superior to books when it comes to convenience. While people have to go to the bookshops or the libraries to borrow and purchase books, it is not beyond the realm of possibility to read comics free on the internet, which saves a lot of time. As a result, using smartphones serves as the top priority of many youngsters in the modern world. Second, the diversity of Internet seems to be much more than books. even if books are considered to be the repository of knowledge, it cannot be denied that internet contains more appealing content such as games and movies and numerous others that books cannot afford. Therefore, there are more and more children switch from reading books to using smartphones.
Acknowledging the big amount of modern gadget users, it is crucial that we reach solutions to enhance teenagers' reading books routine. The first action is to raise children's awareness of innumerable potential risks of using technology. Internet-connected devices, as suggested by a multitude of studies, could post critical hazards to the brain and in the worst – case scenario, can be responsible for serious ramifications including brain cancer or brain damage. In synchronicity, blue lights emitted from devices' screens could cause problems to the eyes such as myopia, hypermetropia, and astigmatism. Therefore children would bear in mind how serious problems the smartphones cause and reduce the time devoted to it. Another measure is to bring more attention-grabbing content to the books that is suitable for children. Modern teenagers nowadays are inclined to demonstrate a keen interest for contents such as game, fashion, sport, beauty tips and more, which seems to be not really popular in the world of books. Hence, only when books contains prevalent fields do youngster have a more concerns for it.
In summary, modern children have the tendency to using smartphones rather than read books stems from the convenience and the diverse contents of the internet Therefore, the cognition of the latent risks of technology has to be enhanced and the contents of books need to contain more trending areas in order to promote the reading habits among children.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Over the several decades" -> "Over the past several decades"
Explanation: Adding "past" clarifies the time frame being discussed, making the phrase more precise and appropriate for an academic context.
"entertaining on smartphones" -> "engaging in entertainment on smartphones"
Explanation: "Engaging in entertainment" is a more formal and accurate way to describe the activity being discussed, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"rather than read books" -> "rather than reading books"
Explanation: Using the gerund form "reading" after "rather than" is grammatically correct and maintains consistency in the sentence structure.
"give some solutions" -> "propose several solutions"
Explanation: "Propose" is more formal than "give," and "several" is more precise than "some," both of which improve the academic quality of the statement.
"the use of technology is superior to books" -> "the utilization of technology is favored over traditional reading materials"
Explanation: "The utilization of technology is favored over traditional reading materials" is more formal and provides a clearer comparison between technology and books.
"it is not beyond the realm of possibility to read comics free on the internet" -> "it is entirely feasible to access comics at no cost on the internet"
Explanation: "It is entirely feasible" is a more academically appropriate phrase, and "access comics at no cost" is clearer and more formal than "read comics free."
"the diversity of Internet" -> "the diversity of content available on the Internet"
Explanation: Specifying "content available on the Internet" clarifies what aspect of the Internet is being discussed, making the statement more precise and formal.
"even if" -> "although"
Explanation: "Although" is more suitable for introducing a contrasting idea in an academic context.
"more and more children switch" -> "an increasing number of children are switching"
Explanation: "An increasing number of children are switching" is more formal and provides a clearer description of the trend.
"Acknowledging the big amount of" -> "Recognizing the significant number of"
Explanation: "Recognizing the significant number of" is more formal and precise than "Acknowledging the big amount of."
"reading books routine" -> "habit of reading books"
Explanation: "Habit of reading books" is a more natural and academically appropriate phrase.
"could post critical hazards" -> "could pose significant risks"
Explanation: "Pose significant risks" is the correct expression and is more formal, making it better suited for an academic essay.
"in the worst – case scenario" -> "in the worst-case scenario"
Explanation: Removing the spaces around the hyphen corrects the punctuation and maintains the formal tone.
"Therefore children would bear in mind" -> "Thus, children should be made aware"
Explanation: "Thus, children should be made aware" is more formal and provides a clearer directive for action.
"attention-grabbing" -> "engaging"
Explanation: "Engaging" is a more academically appropriate term than "attention-grabbing," which is somewhat informal.
"Modern teenagers nowadays" -> "Contemporary teenagers"
Explanation: "Contemporary" is sufficient to indicate the current time period, making "nowadays" redundant. This change streamlines the sentence and maintains a formal tone.
"only when books contains" -> "only when books contain"
Explanation: Correcting "contains" to "contain" addresses a grammatical error, ensuring subject-verb agreement.
"do youngster have a more concerns for it" -> "will youngsters show more interest in them"
Explanation: "Will youngsters show more interest in them" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the clarity and academic tone of the sentence.
"using smartphones rather than read books" -> "using smartphones rather than reading books"
Explanation: Consistency in verb form ("reading" instead of "read") is grammatically correct and maintains the flow of the sentence.
"the cognition of the latent risks" -> "awareness of the potential risks"
Explanation: "Awareness of the potential risks" is a clearer and more academically appropriate way to express the need for understanding the dangers associated with technology use.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing why teenagers prefer smartphones over books and suggesting ways to promote the reading habit among young people.
- How to improve: To enhance the comprehensiveness of the response, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples or evidence supporting the claims made about the popularity of smartphones and the potential solutions proposed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that the preference for smartphones over books is due to convenience and the diversity of internet content. The proposed solutions also align with this stance.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument and avoids any ambiguity or contradictory statements.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the reasons for the popularity of smartphones and offers solutions to promote reading habits. However, the development and support of these ideas could be improved. For instance, the discussion on the risks of technology and the need for more engaging book content could benefit from additional elaboration and evidence.
- How to improve: Extend each idea by providing examples, statistics, or anecdotes to bolster the arguments. Additionally, connect ideas more seamlessly to create a stronger narrative flow.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the reasons behind teenagers’ preference for smartphones over books and proposing measures to encourage reading. However, there are instances where the discussion veers slightly off track, such as the mention of specific eye conditions without clear relevance to the main argument.
- How to improve: Ensure that every point made directly relates to the central theme of the essay. Avoid tangential discussions that distract from the main focus.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed explanations, strengthening the support for ideas, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can elevate its effectiveness in addressing the task requirements and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are instances where the logical flow could be improved. For example, the transition between the reasons for the popularity of smartphones and the solutions to promote reading habits could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could succinctly recap the main points presented in the body paragraphs for better coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider creating smoother transitions between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main argument and thesis statement. In the conclusion, briefly summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more depth and coherence. For instance, the paragraph discussing the reasons for the popularity of smartphones could be expanded to include more examples or evidence.
- How to improve: Aim for a balance between paragraph length and depth of analysis. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides sufficient support for the main idea. Consider integrating more specific examples or case studies to strengthen the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas and improve coherence. However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and effectiveness of these devices. Some transitions feel abrupt or repetitive, diminishing the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Expand your repertoire of cohesive devices beyond basic transitions like "to begin with" and "in summary." Experiment with a wider range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns, conjunctions, and parallel structure, to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary. It incorporates a variety of terms and expressions such as "repository of knowledge," "critical hazards," "keen interest," and "prevalent fields." However, there are instances where simpler language could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives to elevate the lexical richness further.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary where appropriate. For instance, instead of using "convenience," consider terms like "efficacy" or "convenience." Additionally, diversify the vocabulary further by introducing synonyms for commonly used words, thus enriching the overall quality of expression.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally employs vocabulary effectively, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "innumerable potential risks" could be more precise. While "innumerable" denotes a large quantity, it doesn’t precisely convey the idea of specific, identifiable risks. Similarly, the phrase "contents such as game, fashion, sport, beauty tips" lacks specificity and could benefit from more precise vocabulary choices.
- How to improve: To improve precision, strive for greater specificity in vocabulary selection. Instead of using broad terms like "innumerable potential risks," identify and articulate specific risks associated with smartphone usage. Likewise, refine descriptions of content categories to convey a clearer understanding of the subjects. For instance, replacing "contents such as game" with "interactive gaming experiences" or "cutting-edge fashion trends" can enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains acceptable spelling accuracy, but there are a few instances of misspelled words or typographical errors that detract from the overall quality of expression. Examples include "read" instead of "reading" in "enhance teenagers’ reading books routine," and "concerns" instead of "concern."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading thoroughly before submitting the final draft. Additionally, pay close attention to homophones and common spelling pitfalls, such as confusing "read" and "reading," to ensure precision in language usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, there is room for refinement in terms of precision and accuracy. By incorporating more precise vocabulary choices and enhancing spelling accuracy, the essay can further elevate its lexical resource and overall effectiveness in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and complexity of structures. For example, while the essay includes some complex sentences, more variety in sentence structures such as compound-complex sentences could enhance the overall quality of writing.
- How to improve: To improve, try incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures. For instance, use compound sentences to join related ideas and compound-complex sentences to show relationships between ideas. This will make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some instances where articles are missing or incorrectly used (e.g., "the several decades," "the diversity of Internet," "the books"). Punctuation is generally used accurately, but there are a few minor errors (e.g., missing commas in complex sentences).
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to the use of articles (a, an, the) and ensure they are used correctly. Additionally, review the use of commas in complex sentences to ensure they are used appropriately to separate clauses. Reading more English texts and practicing writing will also help improve your grammar and punctuation skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and a reasonable range of sentence structures. To improve, focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to the correct use of articles and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift towards engaging in entertainment on smartphones rather than reading books among teenagers. This trend poses a challenge, but there are viable solutions to promote the reading habit among young people.

The preference for smartphones over books can be attributed to a couple of key factors. Firstly, the convenience offered by technology surpasses that of traditional reading materials. Unlike the need to visit bookshops or libraries to acquire books, accessing comics for free on the internet is entirely feasible, saving considerable time. Consequently, smartphones become the preferred choice for many youngsters today. Secondly, the diversity of content available on the internet surpasses that of books. While books are typically seen as reservoirs of knowledge, the internet offers a plethora of appealing content such as games, movies, and various other forms of entertainment that books may not provide. Consequently, there’s a growing trend of children shifting from reading books to using smartphones.

Recognizing the significant number of children engaging with modern gadgets, it is imperative to propose several solutions to encourage a reading habit among teenagers. Firstly, raising awareness of the potential risks associated with excessive technology use is crucial. Numerous studies have highlighted the hazards posed by internet-connected devices to the brain, including the risk of serious conditions like brain cancer or damage. Additionally, the blue light emitted from screens can lead to eye problems such as myopia, hypermetropia, and astigmatism. Therefore, it is essential for children to understand the serious health implications of excessive smartphone use and reduce their screen time accordingly.

Another effective measure is to make books more engaging by incorporating content that resonates with modern teenagers. Contemporary teenagers are drawn to topics such as gaming, fashion, sports, and beauty tips, which may not be commonly found in traditional books. Hence, by infusing books with content from prevalent areas of interest, youngsters are more likely to show interest in reading.

In conclusion, the inclination of modern children towards using smartphones rather than reading books can be attributed to the convenience and diversity of content offered by the internet. To address this issue, awareness of the potential risks associated with excessive technology use must be raised, and books should be enriched with content that appeals to the interests of contemporary teenagers. By implementing these solutions, we can effectively promote the habit of reading among young people.