In recent years, tattoos have become increasingly popular, particularly among younger generations. However, opinions on the practice remain divided. Why do young people choose to get tattoos? What are the social and professional implications they may face?

In recent years, tattoos have become increasingly popular, particularly among younger generations. However, opinions on the practice remain divided.
Why do young people choose to get tattoos? What are the social and professional implications they may face?

Tattoos have grown in popularity over the past few years, especially among younger people. However, opinions on the practice remain divided. This essay will discuss the reasons for this phenomenon such as self-expression and self-acceptance, and the social professional implications people may face including limited job opportunities and prejudice.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why many people have tattoos. Firstly, tattoos allow individuals to express themselves. The design, placement, and style of a tattoo can be carefully chosen to reflect one's individuality and personal style. Secondly, tattoos can also be a means of self-acceptance and self-love. The act of permanently marking their bodies with something they find beautiful or meaningful can foster a sense of self-acceptance and body positivity. For instance, for some individuals, getting a tattoo on a body part they may have previously felt insecure about can be a way to embrace and celebrate their unique features.
On the other hand, people with tattoos may face certain professional implications. One of which is limited job opportunities. Some companies have explicit policies regarding visible tattoos, either prohibiting them altogether or requiring them to be covered. For example, some industries, such as banking, teaching, law, or customer-facing roles, have conservative dress codes and professional standards. These industries often place importance on projecting a certain image of professionalism and trustworthiness. Visible tattoos may not align with these expectations and could be seen as unprofessional. Moreover, people with visible tattoos may attract attention. This can include verbal criticism, disapproving looks, or even confrontations. These negative reactions can be hurtful and contribute to a sense of being judged or self-conscious.
In conclusion, while many others appreciate and respect tattoos as a form of self-expression and individuality, some people may hold negative views. To address these issues, promoting awareness, education, and open dialogue can help reduce stereotypes and biases surrounding tattoo

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Errors and Improvements:

"grown in popularity" -> "increased in popularity"
Explanation: "Grown" is more commonly used for plants or physical growth, while "increased" is a more precise term for popularity or trends.
"especially among younger people" -> "particularly among the youth"
Explanation: "Younger people" is slightly informal; "the youth" is a more formal and concise term often preferred in academic writing.
"opinions on the practice remain divided" -> "attitudes toward the practice vary"
Explanation: "Opinions remain divided" is a bit colloquial; "attitudes vary" maintains formality while expressing the same idea more precisely.
"This essay will discuss" -> "This essay aims to examine"
Explanation: "Discuss" is a common but slightly informal term; "examine" is more formal and directly conveys the purpose of the essay.
"phenomenon such as" -> "phenomenon, including"
Explanation: "Such as" is less precise in enumerating examples compared to "including," which is more appropriate for academic writing.
"On the one hand" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "On the one hand" is a bit verbose for academic writing; "Firstly" is a concise and appropriate transition for introducing the first point.
"Secondly" -> "Secondly,"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "Secondly" enhances clarity and conforms to academic style guides.
"The act of permanently marking their bodies" -> "Permanently marking their bodies"
Explanation: Removing "The act of" streamlines the sentence and eliminates unnecessary verbiage.
"can foster a sense of self-acceptance and body positivity" -> "can cultivate self-acceptance and body positivity"
Explanation: "Foster" is slightly informal; "cultivate" is a more sophisticated alternative while maintaining the intended meaning.
"getting a tattoo on a body part they may have previously felt insecure about" -> "getting a tattoo on a previously perceived insecure body part"
Explanation: This revision condenses the phrase while retaining clarity and formal language.
"On the other hand" -> "Conversely"
Explanation: "On the other hand" is a common phrase but using "Conversely" adds variety and sophistication to the transition.
"One of which is" -> "One such implication is"
Explanation: "One of which is" is somewhat verbose; "One such implication is" is more concise and maintains formality.
"either prohibiting them altogether or requiring them to be covered" -> "either prohibiting visible tattoos entirely or mandating their concealment"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence and uses more precise language, avoiding ambiguity.
"conservative dress codes" -> "formal dress codes"
Explanation: "Conservative" may carry a political connotation; "formal" is a more neutral term suitable for professional contexts.
"could be seen as unprofessional" -> "might be perceived as unprofessional"
Explanation: "Could be seen as" is a bit passive; "might be perceived as" adds clarity and directness to the statement.
"promoting awareness, education, and open dialogue" -> "advocating for awareness, education, and open dialogue"
Explanation: "Promoting" is a common term but "advocating for" adds emphasis and sophistication, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all aspects of the prompt. It discusses both why young people choose to get tattoos (self-expression and self-acceptance) and the social and professional implications they may face (limited job opportunities and prejudice).
- How to improve: To further enhance comprehensiveness, the essay could provide more specific examples or anecdotes illustrating the reasons for getting tattoos and the potential consequences individuals may encounter.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, acknowledging both the positive aspects of tattoos as a form of self-expression and individuality and the negative implications they may have on professional opportunities and social perceptions.
- How to improve: To strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph consistently supports the overarching stance on tattoos, perhaps by explicitly stating the thesis statement in the introduction and reinforcing it in the conclusion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas regarding the reasons for getting tattoos and the consequences individuals may face. It elaborates on these points with examples and explanations, such as how tattoos can promote self-acceptance and the impact of visible tattoos on job opportunities.
- How to improve: To further develop ideas, the essay could delve deeper into the cultural or historical significance of tattoos and provide additional evidence or research to support the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the topic throughout, discussing the reasons for getting tattoos and the social and professional implications, without significant deviations.
- How to improve: To ensure continued relevance, consider linking each supporting point back to the central theme of the essay and avoiding tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to the main argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the key points. To enhance the essay further, consider providing more specific examples, reinforcing the central thesis, deepening the discussion of ideas, and maintaining strict relevance to the topic. With these improvements, the essay could achieve an even higher score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization by effectively introducing the topic, discussing reasons for getting tattoos, and then transitioning to the social and professional implications. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the topic, aiding in coherence.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider strengthening the transitions between paragraphs. Providing clearer signposts or topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the essay’s structure more smoothly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate different ideas and aspects of the topic. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, such as reasons for getting tattoos or the professional implications, aiding in readability and clarity.
- How to improve: While the essay uses paragraphs appropriately, there is room for improvement in paragraph development. Consider providing more elaboration and examples within each paragraph to strengthen the argument and engage the reader further.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "firstly," "secondly," "on the other hand," "in conclusion"), pronouns ("these," "those"), and repetition ("self-expression and self-acceptance"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as synonyms for frequently used terms or parallel structures for listing reasons or implications. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.

Overall, the essay effectively demonstrates logical organization, appropriate paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices, contributing to a cohesive and coherent argument. Strengthening transitions between paragraphs, providing more elaboration within paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices can further enhance the clarity and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with varied expressions used throughout. For example, terms such as "phenomenon," "self-acceptance," "body positivity," "explicit policies," "conservative dress codes," and "promoting awareness" showcase lexical diversity. Furthermore, phrases like "limited job opportunities," "negative reactions," and "open dialogue" contribute to a rich lexical repertoire.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a strong vocabulary overall, incorporating more specialized terms or idiomatic expressions related to the topic could enhance lexical variety further. For instance, using terms like "stigma associated with tattoos" or "career prospects hindered by body art" can add depth to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary precisely to convey ideas. However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary could be utilized. For example, instead of repeatedly using "professional implications," employing synonyms like "career ramifications" or "employment consequences" could add nuance. Additionally, replacing generic terms like "negative views" with more specific descriptors such as "prejudice" or "stigmatization" would enhance precision.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, consider utilizing domain-specific terminology related to tattoos and societal perceptions. For instance, incorporating terms like "tattoo discrimination" or "social stigma surrounding body art" can provide greater clarity and specificity to the discussion.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors detracting from comprehension. Complex words such as "self-expression," "individuality," and "professionalism" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: Maintaining the current level of spelling accuracy is essential. Engaging in regular proofreading practices and utilizing spell-check tools can further ensure precision in spelling. Additionally, consulting dictionaries or style guides for unfamiliar terms can aid in confirming correct spelling.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of vocabulary, with a diverse range of terms used effectively to convey ideas. While the precision of vocabulary usage is generally good, incorporating more specialized terminology related to the topic could enhance clarity and depth. Furthermore, maintaining the current level of spelling accuracy is crucial to uphold the professionalism of the writing. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can further elevate its lexical resource and overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, contributing to a band score of 7. It effectively uses both simple and complex sentence forms, helping to clearly articulate points and sustain reader interest. For instance, the essay uses compound sentences like "The design, placement, and style of a tattoo can be carefully chosen to reflect one’s individuality and personal style," and complex sentences such as "For instance, for some individuals, getting a tattoo on a body part they may have previously felt insecure about can be a way to embrace and celebrate their unique features." These examples show a range of grammatical constructions that support the clarity and detail of the essay’s arguments.
- How to improve: To further enhance the score, the essay could benefit from integrating more advanced complex structures, such as conditional sentences, passive constructions, or inversion used more consistently throughout. For example, rather than consistently following a subject-verb-object pattern, introducing variations such as using passive voice or starting with adverbial phrases could increase the range of structures. Furthermore, exploring more nuanced ways to express cause, condition, or concession, such as through the use of modal verbs or subjunctive moods, would demonstrate a higher command of language structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, which is pivotal for achieving a band score of 7. There are minimal errors in grammar and punctuation, and these do not detract significantly from readability or comprehension. The use of punctuation is generally correct and aids in the clear delivery of information, as seen in the appropriate use of commas in lists and before conjunctions in compound sentences. This control over grammatical structures and punctuation ensures that the essay conveys its message effectively and coherently.
- How to improve: To advance towards a higher band score, the author should focus on consistently checking and refining their use of commas and other punctuation, as occasional slips can occur under exam conditions. Additionally, attention should be paid to ensuring verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences. Practicing editing for these specific issues could sharpen accuracy. Engaging in exercises that focus on error correction might also be beneficial to solidify understanding of nuanced grammatical rules and reduce the frequency of minor errors.

Overall, the essay showcases a commendable grasp of English grammar and a variety of sentence structures appropriate for a band 7. Continued practice with advanced structures and meticulous proofreading for grammatical accuracy can pave the way towards achieving even higher proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

Tattoos have increased in popularity in recent years, particularly among the youth. However, attitudes toward the practice vary. This essay aims to examine the reasons behind this phenomenon, including self-expression and self-acceptance, and the social and professional implications individuals may encounter.

On one hand, there are several reasons why many individuals opt for tattoos. Firstly, tattoos allow for self-expression. The design, placement, and style of a tattoo can be carefully chosen to reflect one’s unique personality and fashion sense. Secondly, tattoos can foster self-acceptance and self-love. Permanently marking their bodies with something they find beautiful or meaningful can cultivate a sense of self-acceptance and body positivity. For example, getting a tattoo on a previously perceived insecure body part can be a way to embrace and celebrate one’s unique features.

Conversely, individuals with tattoos may face certain professional implications. One such implication is limited job opportunities. Some companies enforce strict policies regarding visible tattoos, either prohibiting them entirely or mandating their concealment. Industries such as banking, teaching, law, or customer-facing roles often adhere to formal dress codes and professional standards, where visible tattoos might be perceived as unprofessional. Moreover, individuals with visible tattoos may attract attention, leading to criticism, disapproving looks, or even confrontations, which can contribute to feelings of being judged or self-conscious.

In conclusion, while tattoos are appreciated by many as a form of self-expression and individuality, negative perceptions exist. To address these issues, advocating for awareness, education, and open dialogue can help reduce stereotypes and biases surrounding tattoos.