In recent years, there has been a significant increase in online shopping. Discuss the causes of this trend and its effects on traditional retail stores and consumer behavior

Over the years, there has been a steep increase in people conducting their purchases using the internet. This essay will also discuss the factors that have led to this trend and its impact on conventional retail outlets and the retail consumer.
Among the factors that have also contributed to the increase in online purchases, convenience mainly ranks top. Consumers can afford to shop online at any given time without having to make trips to conventional stores. Also, there are improved payment systems that enable secure payments, hence encouraging people to do business online and improved interfaces on e-commerce sites. The other reason is the disruption by COVID-19, which forced many customers to shift towards the purchase done online since physical outlets were closed or limited. This phenomenon has continued to play out in other seasons apart from COVID-19 as more and more consumers have developed a preference for making purchases online.
Consequently, the flexibility of large format retail stores has felt the heat of the internet shopping. Most traditional retailers, by operating physical stores, have suffered low revenue and traffic of customers, with many of them shutting down or moving to smaller premises. To this effect, retail stores have had to integrate both physical and online shopping experiences known as omnichannel. Secondly, and most importantly, there has been a shift in consumer behavior to seek products with speed. New norms of buying include speed of delivery, free or simple returns, and relevant recommendations, and have created a more informed customer base.
Therefore, convenience and COVID-19 are the leading causes of online shopping convenience. These changes have impacted general shop retailers and considerably altered consumptive behaviors, therefore warranting the essence of business adaptation concerning the centralized digital market.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Over the years" -> "In recent years"
Explanation: "In recent years" is more precise and academically appropriate, as it specifies the timeframe more clearly and avoids the vagueness of "over the years."
"people conducting their purchases" -> "consumers making purchases"
Explanation: "Consumers making purchases" is more formal and specific, aligning better with academic language by using a more precise term for the subject.
"mainly ranks top" -> "predominates"
Explanation: "Predominates" is a more formal and precise term that avoids the colloquialism of "ranks top," enhancing the academic tone.
"can afford to shop online" -> "are able to shop online"
Explanation: "Are able to shop online" is more formal and avoids the colloquial "can afford," which is typically used in a financial context.
"improved payment systems" -> "enhanced payment systems"
Explanation: "Enhanced" is a more formal synonym for "improved," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"hence encouraging people to do business online" -> "thus encouraging online transactions"
Explanation: "Thus encouraging online transactions" is more specific and formal, replacing the vague "do business online."
"disruption by COVID-19" -> "disruption caused by COVID-19"
Explanation: "Caused by" is more precise and formal than "by," which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"purchase done online" -> "online purchases"
Explanation: "Online purchases" is grammatically correct and more formal than "purchase done online."
"flexibility of large format retail stores" -> "flexibility of large retail formats"
Explanation: "Large retail formats" is a more precise term, avoiding the redundancy of "large format retail stores."
"felt the heat of the internet shopping" -> "suffered from the impact of online shopping"
Explanation: "Suffered from the impact of online shopping" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial "felt the heat of."
"have suffered low revenue and traffic of customers" -> "have experienced reduced revenue and customer traffic"
Explanation: "Experienced reduced revenue and customer traffic" is more formal and precise, avoiding the awkward construction of "low revenue and traffic of customers."
"shutting down or moving to smaller premises" -> "closing or downsizing"
Explanation: "Closing or downsizing" is more concise and formal, replacing the more casual "shutting down or moving to smaller premises."
"integrate both physical and online shopping experiences" -> "integrate physical and online shopping channels"
Explanation: "Physical and online shopping channels" is a more precise and formal way to describe the integration of different shopping methods.
"New norms of buying include" -> "New norms of purchasing include"
Explanation: "Purchasing" is a more formal term than "buying," aligning better with academic style.
"speed of delivery, free or simple returns, and relevant recommendations" -> "speed of delivery, flexible return policies, and personalized recommendations"
Explanation: "Flexible return policies" and "personalized recommendations" are more specific and formal, enhancing the academic tone.
"concerning the centralized digital market" -> "regarding the centralized digital market"
Explanation: "Regarding" is a more formal preposition than "concerning," which is typically less formal in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the causes of the increase in online shopping, such as convenience and the impact of COVID-19. It also discusses the effects on traditional retail stores and consumer behavior. However, while the causes are well-explained, the effects on consumer behavior could be elaborated further. For instance, the essay mentions a shift in consumer behavior but does not provide specific examples or details about how this shift manifests in purchasing decisions or preferences.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should provide more detailed examples of how consumer behavior has changed. This could include discussing trends like increased price sensitivity, the desire for personalized shopping experiences, or the impact of online reviews on purchasing decisions.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the causes and effects of online shopping, but the phrasing can be somewhat ambiguous at times. For instance, the phrase "convenience and COVID-19 are the leading causes of online shopping convenience" is repetitive and could confuse the reader about the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should avoid redundancy and ensure that each point is articulated clearly. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through the argument, reinforcing the position taken throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several key ideas, such as convenience and the impact of COVID-19, but these ideas could be further extended and supported with more detailed examples or data. For instance, discussing specific statistics on online shopping growth or citing studies on consumer preferences would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. For example, when discussing the convenience of online shopping, they could provide specific examples of how this convenience manifests (e.g., 24/7 access, home delivery options). Additionally, incorporating relevant statistics or expert opinions would lend more credibility to the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt effectively. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, particularly in the concluding sentences, which could be more directly tied back to the main points discussed. The phrase "warranting the essence of business adaptation concerning the centralized digital market" feels somewhat disconnected from the preceding arguments.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all concluding statements directly relate back to the main points discussed in the essay. A strong conclusion should summarize the key arguments made and reiterate how they connect to the prompt, rather than introducing new concepts that may confuse the reader.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in elaboration, clarity, and focus. By providing more detailed examples and ensuring a consistent and clear argument throughout, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs logically follow, first addressing the causes of the increase in online shopping and then discussing its effects on traditional retail stores and consumer behavior. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing causes to effects is somewhat abrupt, which can disrupt the flow of information.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay. For example, after discussing the causes, a phrase like "In addition to these causes, the effects on traditional retail are significant" could provide a clearer link between sections. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph would also help in maintaining focus and coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into causes and effects. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus. For example, the second paragraph combines multiple causes without a clear separation, which can make it harder for the reader to follow.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a single clear main idea. For instance, separate the discussion of convenience and the impact of COVID-19 into two distinct paragraphs. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for a more in-depth exploration of each cause. Additionally, concluding each paragraph with a sentence that summarizes the main point can reinforce the ideas presented.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "also," "consequently," and "therefore." These devices help to connect ideas and maintain flow. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall quality of coherence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "also," you could use "in addition," "furthermore," or "moreover" to introduce additional points. Additionally, using phrases like "on the other hand" or "in contrast" when discussing the effects of online shopping on traditional retail could enhance the clarity of comparisons. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in writing exercises can help build this skill.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the range of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "conventional retail outlets," "e-commerce sites," and "omnichannel." However, there are instances of repetition, such as the phrase "online shopping" and "convenience," which appear multiple times without variation. This limits the lexical diversity and makes the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "convenience," alternatives like "ease," "accessibility," or "user-friendliness" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating more advanced vocabulary would enrich the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "secure payments" and "consumer behavior." However, there are instances of vague or imprecise usage, particularly in the phrase "the flexibility of large format retail stores has felt the heat of the internet shopping." This metaphorical expression may confuse readers and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for clarity by using straightforward language. For example, instead of saying "felt the heat," consider stating that "traditional retail stores have faced significant challenges due to the rise of online shopping." This would convey the intended meaning more clearly and effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely demonstrates correct spelling, with only minor errors. However, the phrase "the purchase done online" could be more effectively phrased as "online purchases." Such awkward constructions can detract from the overall impression of spelling accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve spelling and overall language fluency, practice writing and proofreading. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or grammar checkers can help identify errors. Additionally, reading more academic articles or essays can expose you to correct spelling and phrasing, which can be beneficial for your writing.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy will enhance the overall quality of writing and potentially raise the band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, phrases like "Among the factors that have also contributed to the increase in online purchases, convenience mainly ranks top" and "Consequently, the flexibility of large format retail stores has felt the heat of the internet shopping" show an ability to combine ideas effectively. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "This phenomenon has continued to play out in other seasons apart from COVID-19 as more and more consumers have developed a preference for making purchases online" could be restructured for clarity and impact.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more varied introductory phrases, such as participial phrases or adverbial clauses. For instance, instead of starting sentences with "This phenomenon," you might begin with "As a result of this phenomenon," or "In light of these changes." Additionally, incorporating more conditional sentences or using inversion could enhance the complexity of your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few errors. For example, the phrase "the increase in online purchases, convenience mainly ranks top" is slightly awkward and could be clearer with a different structure. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are areas where commas could improve readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences. For instance, "Also, there are improved payment systems that enable secure payments, hence encouraging people to do business online and improved interfaces on e-commerce sites" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate the ideas more distinctly.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. For example, "the retail consumer" could be simplified to "consumers." Additionally, reviewing comma usage, particularly in complex sentences, will help improve clarity. A good practice is to read sentences aloud to identify natural pauses where commas might be needed.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in consumers making purchases using the internet. This essay will discuss the causes of this trend and its effects on traditional retail stores and consumer behavior.

Among the factors that have contributed to the rise in online purchases, convenience predominates. Consumers are able to shop online at any time without the need to travel to conventional stores. Additionally, enhanced payment systems enable secure transactions, thus encouraging online transactions, along with improved interfaces on e-commerce sites. Another significant reason is the disruption caused by COVID-19, which forced many customers to shift towards online purchases as physical outlets were closed or faced restrictions. This phenomenon has persisted beyond the pandemic, as more consumers have developed a preference for shopping online.

Consequently, the flexibility of large retail formats has suffered from the impact of online shopping. Most traditional retailers, by operating physical stores, have experienced reduced revenue and customer traffic, leading many to close or downsize their operations. As a result, retail stores have had to integrate both physical and online shopping channels, a strategy known as omnichannel retailing. Furthermore, there has been a notable shift in consumer behavior, with shoppers increasingly seeking products that offer speed and convenience. New norms of purchasing include speed of delivery, flexible return policies, and personalized recommendations, which have created a more informed customer base.

In conclusion, convenience and the disruption caused by COVID-19 are the leading causes of the rise in online shopping. These changes have significantly impacted traditional retailers and altered consumer behaviors, highlighting the necessity for businesses to adapt to the centralized digital market.