In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones.
Do you think this will happen one day?
Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In development economy, people today maybe not pay for things in shops using cash instead of by card or using phones. In my opinion, it will be happy in the future by 2 reasons and some people might not happy to give up using cash.

Some of the most common reason amount of young people for using card or phone is very convinience. People just need a phone that connects wifi to buy everything immediately. The second reason is that pay something through card or phone is safer than using cash. They do not need to bring a lot of cash in their bag, it is dangerous if some thiefs find out amount of money in this bag. Not surprisingly, more and more people opt to choose pay things by card or their phone.

On the other hand, I think some people might not be happy to give up using cash, especially the old people, who are not good at high tenichque equiments. They usually use to pay by your cash. For example, my mother who can not use modern phone, she does not open 3G net-work, so shopping through phone or card is very difficult with her.

To conclude, I think that has a number of people use phones or card to buy something but some people still pay their cash to buy things in the future.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In development economy" -> "In a developing economy"
Explanation: "Development economy" is not a standard term. "Developing economy" is the correct phrase, which refers to an economy that is in the process of industrialization or economic growth.
"people today maybe not pay" -> "people today may not pay"
Explanation: "Maybe" is too informal and vague for academic writing. "May" is more appropriate and formal.
"it will be happy in the future" -> "it will be beneficial in the future"
Explanation: "Happy" is an emotional and incorrect term in this context. "Beneficial" accurately conveys the positive outcome intended.
"by 2 reasons" -> "for two reasons"
Explanation: "By 2 reasons" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "For two reasons" is grammatically correct and formal.
"convinience" -> "convenience"
Explanation: "Convinience" is a spelling error. The correct spelling is "convenience."
"People just need a phone that connects wifi" -> "Individuals only need a phone with Wi-Fi connectivity"
Explanation: "People just need" is informal and vague. "Individuals only need" is more precise and formal. Also, "connects wifi" should be "with Wi-Fi connectivity" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"buy everything immediately" -> "purchase items immediately"
Explanation: "Buy everything" is informal and imprecise. "Purchase items" is more formal and specific.
"pay something through card or phone" -> "make payments using a card or phone"
Explanation: "Pay something through" is awkward and unclear. "Make payments using" is more precise and formal.
"safer than using cash" -> "safer than cash transactions"
Explanation: "Using cash" is vague and informal. "Cash transactions" is more specific and formal.
"do not need to bring a lot of cash in their bag" -> "do not need to carry large amounts of cash"
Explanation: "Bring a lot of cash in their bag" is informal and imprecise. "Carry large amounts of cash" is more formal and specific.
"it is dangerous if some thiefs find out amount of money in this bag" -> "it is risky if thieves discover the amount of money in this bag"
Explanation: "Thiefs" is a spelling error. "Thieves" is the correct spelling. Also, "find out" is informal; "discover" is more appropriate in formal writing.
"Not surprisingly, more and more people opt to choose pay things by card or their phone" -> "Not surprisingly, an increasing number of individuals prefer to pay using cards or their phones"
Explanation: "Opt to choose pay things" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Prefer to pay using" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"high tenichque equiments" -> "high-tech equipment"
Explanation: "High tenichque equiments" is a spelling and typographical error. "High-tech equipment" is the correct term.
"pay by your cash" -> "pay with cash"
Explanation: "Pay by your cash" is awkward and informal. "Pay with cash" is the correct preposition and is more formal.
"does not open 3G net-work" -> "cannot access 3G networks"
Explanation: "Does not open" is incorrect in this context. "Cannot access" is the correct phrase for describing technical capabilities.
"shopping through phone or card" -> "shopping using a phone or card"
Explanation: "Shopping through" is informal and vague. "Shopping using" is more precise and formal.
"has a number of people use phones or card" -> "there are a number of people who use phones or cards"
Explanation: "Has a number of people use" is grammatically incorrect. "There are a number of people who use" corrects the grammar and improves formality.
"pay their cash to buy things" -> "pay with cash for purchases"
Explanation: "Pay their cash to buy things" is informal and awkward. "Pay with cash for purchases" is more formal and precise.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both the potential shift away from cash payments and the reasons some individuals might resist this change. However, the response is somewhat vague and lacks depth. For instance, the first paragraph mentions "2 reasons" but does not clearly enumerate them, which could confuse the reader. The second part of the prompt regarding why some people might not be happy to give up cash is addressed, but the explanation is limited and lacks sufficient detail.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should clearly outline the reasons for the shift away from cash in the introduction and ensure that each reason is fully developed in the body paragraphs. Additionally, explicitly stating the two reasons in the introduction would provide clarity and structure.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that suggests a future where cash payments may decline, but the clarity of this position is undermined by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For example, phrases like "it will be happy in the future" are unclear and detract from the overall argument. The writer’s stance on the inevitability of this change is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use straightforward language and ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main argument. A more definitive statement of the writer’s opinion in the introduction and conclusion would help solidify their stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, while the essay mentions that using cards or phones is "safer," it does not provide specific examples or evidence to back this claim. Additionally, the discussion about older individuals not being comfortable with technology is relevant but could be expanded with more detail or examples.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and relevant examples for each point made. This could include statistics on cash usage trends or anecdotes that illustrate the challenges faced by those who prefer cash.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, but there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the introduction and conclusion. The phrase "In development economy" is unclear and seems to stray from the main topic. Additionally, the conclusion introduces a new idea about the number of people using phones or cards without adequately summarizing the main points discussed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Clarifying the introduction and conclusion to summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs would enhance coherence and relevance.

Overall, the essay would benefit from clearer structure, more detailed explanations, and better grammatical accuracy to improve its effectiveness in addressing the task.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas is somewhat unclear. For instance, the introduction mentions two reasons for the future acceptance of cashless payments, but these reasons are not explicitly stated until the body paragraphs. Additionally, the transition between the advantages of cashless payments and the concerns of those who prefer cash lacks clarity, which can confuse readers regarding the flow of arguments.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should clearly outline the main points in the introduction. Using a more structured approach, such as stating the two advantages and the counterargument in the introduction, would help guide the reader. Furthermore, employing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea would improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of cashless payments, while the second addresses the concerns of older individuals. However, the paragraphs lack clear separation of ideas, and the transitions between them are abrupt. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits to the drawbacks feels sudden and could be better connected.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be clearly delineated. The writer could benefit from using linking phrases or sentences at the end of paragraphs to transition smoothly into the next point. For instance, concluding the benefits paragraph with a sentence that introduces the idea of resistance to change would create a more cohesive flow.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the other hand" and "For example," but the range is limited. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "it is dangerous if some thiefs find out amount of money in this bag" could be better linked to the previous sentence to enhance flow.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In contrast," and "Consequently." Additionally, ensuring that each cohesive device is used appropriately within context will enhance clarity. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents relevant points, improvements in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. For instance, phrases like "development economy" and "opt to choose pay things" show an effort to use different words. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. Words such as "happy," "safely," and "difficult" are used multiple times without variation, which limits the lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced terms. For example, instead of "happy," alternatives like "satisfied" or "content" could be used. Additionally, using phrases like "financial transactions" instead of "pay for things" would elevate the language and demonstrate a broader vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "development economy" is unclear and should be "developing economy." The term "convinience" is misspelled and should be "convenience," which also affects precision. Furthermore, "high tenichque equiments" is vague and should be rephrased for clarity, such as "advanced technology."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. They should also proofread for spelling errors and ensure that terms are used correctly in context. For instance, instead of saying "not good at high tenichque equiments," it could be rephrased to "not familiar with modern technology."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "maybe" (should be "may be"), "convinience" (should be "convenience"), "tenichque" (should be "technique"), and "thiefs" (should be "thieves"). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading more English texts can help familiarize them with correct spelling patterns. Creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay shows some understanding of the topic and attempts to use varied vocabulary, it requires improvement in range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences like "People just need a phone that connects wifi to buy everything immediately" are prevalent, and there is a lack of complex or compound sentences that could enhance the writing. The use of phrases such as "In my opinion" and "On the other hand" indicates an attempt to structure the argument, but the overall variety is insufficient to showcase a higher level of grammatical range.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying, "People just need a phone that connects wifi to buy everything immediately," the writer could say, "By simply connecting their phones to Wi-Fi, people can make immediate purchases, which adds to the convenience of cashless transactions." Practicing the use of relative clauses, conditional sentences, and varying sentence beginnings can also help in achieving a more sophisticated range.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, the phrase "In development economy" should be "In a developing economy." Additionally, "maybe not pay" should be "may not be able to pay." The misuse of articles and verb forms is evident throughout the essay. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, also detract from the overall readability. For example, "my mother who can not use modern phone, she does not open 3G net-work" should be revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common grammatical rules can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors—such as ensuring commas are used correctly in lists and before conjunctions in compound sentences—will improve clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are essential for achieving a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In a developing economy, people today may not pay for things in shops using cash, but instead by card or using phones. In my opinion, it will be beneficial in the future for two reasons, and some people might not be happy to give up using cash.

Some of the most common reasons among young people for using a card or phone are convenience. Individuals only need a phone that connects to Wi-Fi to purchase items immediately. The second reason is that paying for something through a card or phone is safer than using cash. They do not need to carry large amounts of cash in their bag, as it is risky if thieves discover the amount of money in this bag. Not surprisingly, an increasing number of individuals prefer to pay using cards or their phones.

On the other hand, I think some people might not be happy to give up using cash, especially older people who are not good at high-tech equipment. They are usually used to paying with cash. For example, my mother cannot use a modern phone; she does not access 3G networks, so shopping using a phone or card is very difficult for her.

To conclude, I think that there are a number of people who will use phones or cards to buy something, but some people will still pay with cash for purchases in the future.