In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate online and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?

With the thrives to the development of technology, the level of human life is becoming better, It is power for us to stop work and sit and we talk to each other across a far distance. However, from my perspective, I’d like to offer this opinion outward. The upside one.
A great many companies boasting establishing apps; that helps people to exchange,
A great many companies better that helps people make more connections. Furthermore, people with better serves establish apps; it’s saving our helps people with the better helps people their life easier, convenient Micro soft Teams, for example, is a typical example, that make many convenient users to have, teach and have task online in covid-19 period. But this not only allow students to keep up with their lessons at schools, but also prevent both teachers and children you are being infected by dangerous pandemic. Moreover, having active meetings, you can help to get more opportunities to broaden our minds. Through meeting, we can get, it is likely that we can expose to new opinions and broaden you knowledge, the world which in turn facilitate inclusive communication and trust, the world which people can give the other valid, talking-to depending on overconfidence.
The other imperative, having virtual meeting, we owe the balance on virtual meetings with position is possible that they can lie about health or a person begin can have detrimental effect on excessive amount of live rely, though, we can’t get to spend the excellent the love with relative talking in the connection to awkward and, but also, we’re not going to be believing, what’s not to be curious to have whome really the individual is really using electronic devices for a long time, but participate a tradition spicing using people in the conversation between, you can view them to body feel better, for instance, No, Better they are among how they’re, to plus influenced by the great warned, and they are prone to average really, dive influenced can make you serious and not paying attention to the chose life,
In conclusion, keeping on having meet person should use the devices. a way to enrich and outstage. for me. For next, I believe that gadgets as have more outstanding effect for me: Forks of electronic have meeting online, and, space to face simultaneously makes people to make use of it so comparatively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"With the thrives to the development of technology" -> "With the advancements in technology"
Explanation: "Advancements" is a more precise and formal term than "thrives," which is incorrect in this context. It correctly conveys the idea of progress in technology.
"the level of human life is becoming better" -> "the quality of human life is improving"
Explanation: "Quality of life" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "level of human life," which is vague and informal.
"It is power for us to stop work and sit and we talk to each other across a far distance" -> "This technology enables us to cease work and engage in conversations from a distance"
Explanation: "This technology enables" is more formal and precise than "It is power for us," and "engage in conversations" is more specific than "talk to each other."
"I’d like to offer this opinion outward" -> "I would like to express this opinion publicly"
Explanation: "Express this opinion publicly" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing than "offer this opinion outward," which is awkward and unclear.
"A great many companies boasting establishing apps" -> "Many companies are establishing apps"
Explanation: Simplifying "boasting establishing" to "are establishing" corrects the awkward and incorrect phrasing, making it grammatically correct and clearer.
"better that helps people make more connections" -> "that helps people form more connections"
Explanation: "Form connections" is a more precise and formal term than "make connections," which is somewhat informal.
"people with better serves establish apps" -> "companies with better services establish apps"
Explanation: "Companies with better services" is the correct subject-verb agreement and is more specific than "people with better serves," which is grammatically incorrect and vague.
"it’s saving our helps people with the better helps people their life easier" -> "it saves individuals a significant amount of time and effort"
Explanation: This revision clarifies and corrects the awkward and unclear original phrase, making it more formal and clear.
"Micro soft Teams, for example, is a typical example, that make many convenient users to have, teach and have task online" -> "Microsoft Teams, for instance, is an example of a platform that enables users to teach and complete tasks online"
Explanation: This revision corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise.
"But this not only allow students to keep up with their lessons at schools" -> "But this not only allows students to keep up with their school lessons"
Explanation: "Allows" corrects the verb tense, and "school lessons" is more specific than "lessons at schools."
"but also prevent both teachers and children you are being infected by dangerous pandemic" -> "but also prevents both teachers and students from being infected by the pandemic"
Explanation: "Prevents" corrects the verb tense, and "students" is the correct term instead of "children," which is informal and vague in this context.
"having active meetings, you can help to get more opportunities to broaden our minds" -> "holding active meetings can help broaden our perspectives"
Explanation: "Holding active meetings" is more formal and precise than "having active meetings," and "broaden our perspectives" is a more academic expression than "broaden our minds."
"Through meeting, we can get, it is likely that we can expose to new opinions and broaden you knowledge" -> "Through meetings, we can gain exposure to new opinions and broaden our knowledge"
Explanation: "Gain exposure to" is more formal and precise than "get," and "our knowledge" corrects the possessive error.
"the world which in turn facilitate inclusive communication and trust" -> "which in turn facilitates inclusive communication and trust"
Explanation: "Facilitates" should be singular to agree with "which," and "inclusive communication and trust" is a more formal phrase than "inclusive communication and trust."
"the other imperative, having virtual meeting" -> "another imperative is having virtual meetings"
Explanation: "Another imperative is" corrects the grammatical structure and clarity, and "virtual meetings" is plural to match the context.
"we owe the balance on virtual meetings with position is possible that they can lie about health" -> "we must balance virtual meetings with in-person interactions, as it is possible that individuals may misrepresent their health"
Explanation: "Must balance" is more formal than "owe the balance," and "individuals may misrepresent their health" is a clearer and more precise alternative to "they can lie about health."
"a person begin can have detrimental effect on excessive amount of live rely" -> "excessive use of electronic devices can have a detrimental effect on a person’s reliance"
Explanation: This revision corrects grammatical errors and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise.
"but also, we’re not going to be believing, what’s not to be curious to have whome really the individual is really using electronic devices for a long time" -> "but also, we should not assume that individuals are genuinely using electronic devices for extended periods"
Explanation: This revision corrects the awkward and unclear original phrasing, using more formal language and correcting grammatical errors.
"keeping on having meet person should use the devices" -> "continuing to hold meetings should involve the use of devices"
Explanation: "Continuing to hold meetings" is grammatically correct and clearer than "keeping on having meet person," which is awkward and incorrect.
"a way to enrich and outstage" -> "a means to enhance and expand"
Explanation: "A means to enhance and expand" is more formal and academically appropriate than "a way to enrich and outstage," which is unclear and informal.

These changes aim to enhance the formality, clarity, and precision of the text, aligning it with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding whether living without face-to-face contact is a positive or negative development. However, it lacks a clear and balanced exploration of both sides. The introduction hints at a positive perspective but does not explicitly state the author’s position until the conclusion. The discussion of benefits, such as convenience and safety during the COVID-19 pandemic, is present, but the negative aspects are not adequately explored. For instance, while there is mention of potential downsides, such as the lack of personal interaction, it is not developed or supported with examples.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should clearly outline both the positive and negative aspects of the development in the introduction. Each point should be elaborated upon with specific examples or evidence. A more structured approach, such as dedicating separate paragraphs to each side of the argument, would enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s position is somewhat unclear and inconsistent. While it leans towards a positive view of technology and virtual communication, the language used is vague and convoluted, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the author’s stance. Phrases like "I’d like to offer this opinion outward" do not effectively communicate a clear position. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates a positive view but does not summarize the key arguments effectively.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and consistently refer back to it throughout the essay. Using clear and direct language will help convey the author’s stance more effectively. Summarizing key points in the conclusion will also reinforce the position taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to the benefits of online communication, such as convenience and safety during the pandemic. However, many ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of Microsoft Teams is relevant, but it is not elaborated upon in a way that connects it back to the overall argument. Additionally, the discussion of negative aspects is vague and lacks concrete examples or explanations.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the author should aim to provide specific examples and explanations for each point made. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, clearly stating it and then providing supporting details or examples. This will help to create a more cohesive and persuasive argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally deviates from the main topic, particularly when discussing the negative aspects of online communication. Some sentences are convoluted and difficult to follow, which detracts from the overall focus. For instance, phrases like "we’re not going to be believing, what’s not to be curious to have whome really the individual is really using electronic devices for a long time" are unclear and do not contribute meaningfully to the argument.
- How to improve: To stay on topic, the author should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Avoiding overly complex structures and focusing on clear, concise statements will help maintain relevance. Regularly referring back to the prompt can also help keep the discussion focused on the question at hand.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an attempt to engage with the topic but requires significant improvement in clarity, structure, and support for ideas to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay struggles significantly with logical organization. The ideas are scattered and lack a clear progression. For example, the introduction does not clearly state the writer’s position or outline the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs jump from one idea to another without clear transitions or connections. For instance, the mention of Microsoft Teams and its benefits during the COVID-19 pandemic is abruptly followed by a vague and confusing statement about virtual meetings and their potential negative impacts.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, start with a clear introduction that outlines the main points. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, starting with a topic sentence that introduces the main point. Use clear transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument. For example, after discussing the benefits of online communication, you could use a transition like "However, there are also significant drawbacks to consider," before discussing the negative aspects.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay’s paragraphing is ineffective. There are abrupt breaks and some paragraphs are overly long and convoluted, making it difficult to follow the argument. For example, the second paragraph attempts to cover multiple points about the benefits of online communication but does so in a disorganized manner.
- How to improve: Break down the essay into clear, concise paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that summarizes the main point, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on this point. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For instance, one paragraph could discuss the convenience of online communication, followed by another that addresses its impact on social interactions.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a limited range of cohesive devices, and those that are used are often incorrect or ineffective. Phrases like "A great many companies boasting establishing apps" and "Moreover, having active meetings, you can help to get more opportunities" are awkward and unclear. The essay lacks clear connectors that help to link ideas smoothly.
- How to improve: Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. Use connectors like "Firstly," "Secondly," "In addition," "However," and "Therefore" to guide the reader through your argument. For example, you could write, "Firstly, online communication tools like Microsoft Teams have made it easier for people to stay connected during the pandemic. However, relying solely on virtual meetings can also have negative consequences, such as reduced face-to-face interaction."

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a more coherent and cohesive structure, ultimately improving the overall band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with several instances of repetitive phrases and a lack of variety in word choice. For example, the phrase "better helps people" is used multiple times, which detracts from the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, terms like "apps" and "meetings" are used frequently without synonyms or alternative expressions, indicating a reliance on basic vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated terms. For instance, instead of repeating "helps," alternatives such as "facilitates," "assists," or "supports" could be used. Engaging with a thesaurus and practicing the use of varied vocabulary in writing exercises can aid in this improvement.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, which can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the upside one" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. Additionally, phrases like "the great warned" and "the other imperative" lack clarity and do not effectively communicate the writer’s ideas.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary, the writer should focus on using specific terms that accurately reflect their ideas. For example, instead of "the upside one," the writer could specify "the positive aspects of technology." Clarifying ideas and ensuring that vocabulary aligns with the intended message will enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous spelling errors, such as "thrives" (should be "thrive"), "Micro soft" (should be "Microsoft"), and "spicing" (likely intended to be "spending"). These errors not only distract the reader but also undermine the credibility of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By actively working on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and achieve a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but the effectiveness is limited. For instance, there are instances of complex sentences, such as "However, from my perspective, I’d like to offer this opinion outward," which shows an attempt at complexity. However, many sentences are fragmented or poorly constructed, such as "A great many companies boasting establishing apps; that helps people to exchange," which lacks clarity and proper structure. The use of conjunctions and relative clauses is inconsistent, leading to confusion in meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice combining simple sentences into more complex ones and using a variety of conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "A great many companies boasting establishing apps; that helps people to exchange," it could be rephrased to "Many companies have developed apps that help people exchange information." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and using passive voice where appropriate can add diversity to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "With the thrives to the development of technology" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "With the advancements in technology." There are also punctuation errors, such as the misuse of semicolons and commas, which disrupt the flow of ideas. For instance, "A great many companies boasting establishing apps; that helps people to exchange," incorrectly uses a semicolon where a comma or no punctuation would be more appropriate. Additionally, run-on sentences and fragments are prevalent, making it difficult to follow the writer’s argument.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on understanding subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tenses. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing basic grammar rules can be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules governing the use of commas, periods, and semicolons. Reading well-structured essays can also help the writer develop a better sense of punctuation and sentence structure.

Overall, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on improving sentence structure variety and grammatical accuracy while paying close attention to punctuation. Regular practice and feedback on writing can significantly enhance these skills.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the advancements in technology, the quality of human life is improving. It is possible for us to stop work and sit down to talk to each other across a far distance. However, from my perspective, I would like to express this opinion publicly: the upside is significant.

Many companies are establishing apps that help people connect. Furthermore, companies with better services create apps that save individuals a significant amount of time and effort. Microsoft Teams, for example, is a typical platform that enables users to teach and complete tasks online during the COVID-19 period. This not only allows students to keep up with their school lessons but also prevents both teachers and students from being infected by the dangerous pandemic.

Moreover, holding active meetings can help broaden our perspectives. Through meetings, we can gain exposure to new opinions and expand our knowledge, which in turn facilitates inclusive communication and trust. Another imperative is having virtual meetings; we must balance virtual meetings with in-person interactions, as it is possible that individuals may misrepresent their health. Excessive use of electronic devices can have a detrimental effect on a person’s reliance on them. However, we should not assume that individuals are genuinely using electronic devices for extended periods.

Continuing to hold meetings should involve the use of devices as a means to enhance and expand our interactions. For instance, it is essential to engage with others in a way that feels more personal, as this can improve our connections.

In conclusion, continuing to have meetings should involve the use of devices as a way to enrich our interactions. For me, I believe that gadgets have a more outstanding effect: the combination of online meetings and face-to-face interactions allows people to make the most of their time and connections.