In the modern world, schools are no longer necessary because there is so much information available through the internet that children can study just as well as home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, educational institutions can be made redundant due to a wide range of knowledge easily which can be accessible via the internet, enabling students to learn from their homes. In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement since learning at schools can help facilitate better understanding, ensure knowledge’s accuracy.
First, studying at schools can facilitate better and deeper understanding in the learning process, compared to self-study via the internet. This is because with the help from teachers, complex knowledge or information can be explained more thoroughly, possibly easing the concept that are being acquired, making it more straight forward to learn these pieces of information. For example, maths teachers with qualified pedagogical skills can help their students absorb complicated maths principles more easily as these educators can divide these principles into smaller and more understandable parts before explaining them in details. Consequently, with this teaching technique, students are likely to understand these hard and long math principles more easily and deeply, compared to when learning by themselves via the internet due to the lack of detailed and appropriate explanations from those who are qualified in this field.
Secondly, information delivered to students can be ensured in terms of accuracy at schools, while that on the internet are not always correct. While lectures at schools are often designed and monitored by certified and qualified experts before being given to students, ensuring these lessons are accurate and true, information on the internet can be posted by anyone and usually barely checked, leading to potential inaccuracies. For example, English school leaners can be confident with lexical meanings that they are being taught with as these meanings are often translated by their qualified teachers. By contrast, when learning vocabulary on Facebook, false meaning about a word can be mistakenly posted easily on this social media by an unqualified teacher. As a result, learning in an English class at school can help students avoid being exposed to false knowledge such as wrong meanings of a word, while learning via social media may cause some unpredicted consequence, namely learning a false meaning of a lexical icon.
In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement that schools are unnecessary due to the wide range of knowledge learned from the internet or at home because schools can outperform online websites and home by providing students with easier learning process, trustworthy and accurate information.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: Replacing the informal expression "In this day and age" with "Currently" maintains a formal tone while expressing the same temporal idea.
"educational institutions can be made redundant" -> "educational institutions may become obsolete"
Explanation: Substituting "can be made redundant" with "may become obsolete" offers a more formal and nuanced expression, aligning with academic style.
"knowledge easily which can be accessible" -> "knowledge easily accessible"
Explanation: Simplifying the phrase by removing redundancy and stating "knowledge easily accessible" improves clarity and conforms to a more concise academic style.
"In my opinion, I completely disagree" -> "I strongly disagree"
Explanation: Replacing "In my opinion, I completely disagree" with "I strongly disagree" eliminates redundancy and enhances the strength of the statement, maintaining a formal tone.
"facilitate better understanding" -> "enhance comprehension"
Explanation: Substituting "facilitate better understanding" with "enhance comprehension" introduces a more sophisticated term while conveying the same idea.
"ensure knowledge’s accuracy" -> "ensure the accuracy of knowledge"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase to "ensure the accuracy of knowledge" maintains formality and adheres to a more standard expression.
"possibly easing the concept that are being acquired" -> "potentially simplifying the acquired concepts"
Explanation: Transforming the phrase to "potentially simplifying the acquired concepts" improves clarity and uses more precise language.
"straight forward" -> "straightforward"
Explanation: Correcting the space in "straight forward" to "straightforward" adheres to proper spelling conventions in formal writing.
"maths teachers" -> "mathematics instructors"
Explanation: Substituting "maths teachers" with "mathematics instructors" employs a more formal term, aligning with academic language conventions.
"can help their students absorb" -> "can assist their students in absorbing"
Explanation: Using "can assist their students in absorbing" instead of "can help their students absorb" introduces a more formal and precise expression.
"detailed and appropriate explanations" -> "thorough and appropriate explanations"
Explanation: Replacing "detailed and appropriate explanations" with "thorough and appropriate explanations" maintains formality while conveying a similar meaning.
"long math principles" -> "complex mathematical principles"
Explanation: Substituting "long math principles" with "complex mathematical principles" introduces a more accurate and formal term.
"information delivered to students can be ensured" -> "the information delivered to students can be guaranteed"
Explanation: Replacing "information delivered to students can be ensured" with "the information delivered to students can be guaranteed" uses a more formal and precise expression.
"lectures at schools are often designed and monitored" -> "school lectures are typically curated and supervised"
Explanation: Substituting "lectures at schools are often designed and monitored" with "school lectures are typically curated and supervised" maintains formality and clarity.
"lexical meanings" -> "word meanings"
Explanation: Simplifying "lexical meanings" to "word meanings" retains clarity and avoids unnecessary complexity.
"English school leaners" -> "English language learners in school"
Explanation: Correcting "leaners" to "language learners" and rephrasing the sentence to "English language learners in school" enhances formality and precision.
"false meaning about a word" -> "incorrect interpretation of a word"
Explanation: Substituting "false meaning about a word" with "incorrect interpretation of a word" uses a more precise and formal term.
"lexical icon" -> "linguistic symbol"
Explanation: Replacing "lexical icon" with "linguistic symbol" introduces a more formal term while maintaining clarity.
"unpredicted consequence" -> "unexpected consequence"
Explanation: Substituting "unpredicted consequence" with "unexpected consequence" offers a more standard and formal expression.
"wide range of knowledge learned" -> "broad spectrum of knowledge acquired"
Explanation: Changing "wide range of knowledge learned" to "broad spectrum of knowledge acquired" introduces a more formal and precise term.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "In my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement since learning at schools can help facilitate better understanding, ensure knowledge’s accuracy."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction effectively states your viewpoint, which is valuable. However, to enhance the clarity of your argument, consider briefly outlining the main points you’ll discuss in the essay. This can provide a roadmap for your reader, ensuring better comprehension of your overall argument structure.
- Improved example: "In my view, the assertion that schools are unnecessary due to internet access overlooks the critical role of educational institutions in fostering comprehensive understanding and ensuring the accuracy of knowledge. Throughout this essay, I will illustrate how schools facilitate in-depth understanding and ensure the reliability of information, contrasting with potential pitfalls of internet-based learning."
Quoted text: "This is because with the help from teachers, complex knowledge or information can be explained more thoroughly, possibly easing the concept that are being acquired, making it more straight forward to learn these pieces of information."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While your point regarding teachers facilitating a better understanding is valid, it could be strengthened by providing a specific example or personal experience where a teacher’s guidance enhanced your understanding significantly. This addition would reinforce your argument with a tangible illustration.
- Improved example: "For instance, in my physics class, our teacher meticulously broke down complex quantum theories into simpler components. This approach clarified the intricate concepts, making it significantly easier for us to grasp the fundamental principles."
Quoted text: "For example, maths teachers with qualified pedagogical skills can help their students absorb complicated maths principles more easily as these educators can divide these principles into smaller and more understandable parts before explaining them in details."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This example effectively supports your argument about the efficacy of teachers in simplifying complex subjects. However, to bolster this, consider expanding on how this method specifically aided in your comprehension or how it could universally benefit students tackling intricate mathematical concepts.
- Improved example: "In my own experience, my math teacher’s method of breaking down algebraic equations into step-by-step processes immensely aided my understanding. This approach not only demystified the complexity but also provided a clear roadmap for tackling similar problems independently."
Overall, your argument is well-structured and effectively supports your viewpoint. Strengthening it with more personal examples or experiences would elevate the persuasiveness of your essay, making your points more vivid and relatable to the reader.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. It effectively organizes ideas, allowing for a clear overall progression of arguments. The essay utilizes cohesive devices reasonably well, though some issues with cohesion within and between sentences can be observed. Paragraphs are utilized, yet there’s occasional lack of logical structuring within them.
How to improve:
- Enhance sentence-level cohesion: Aim for smoother transitions between sentences to improve the flow of ideas. Link sentences more explicitly to show relationships between ideas.
- Refine paragraph structure: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence of ideas. Strive for consistency and coherence within paragraphs.
This essay does well in presenting arguments coherently and developing ideas logically but needs improvement in the seamless flow of sentences and more consistent structuring within paragraphs to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The essay effectively conveys the message and ideas, with only occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Some sentences exhibit a good command of vocabulary, contributing to the overall fluency of the essay.
How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, consider incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Aim for greater precision in word choice, ensuring that uncommon lexical items are used accurately and in appropriate contexts. Additionally, pay closer attention to spelling and word formation to minimize occasional errors and further improve the overall language proficiency.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of sentence structures with overall flexibility and accuracy. The writer effectively employs complex sentences, including subordinate clauses, to express ideas. The majority of sentences are error-free, with only very occasional errors or inappropriacies. The essay maintains a high level of grammatical control, and the punctuation is generally accurate. The writer successfully conveys complex ideas, supporting them with examples and details.
How to improve: While the essay is strong, a slight improvement could be made by refining the use of complex structures to enhance coherence further. Additionally, the writer may benefit from paying extra attention to minor errors or inappropriacies to achieve a higher level of precision and consistency in language use. Overall, continue to focus on maintaining the high standard of grammatical accuracy exhibited throughout the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the present era, educational institutions might seem dispensable because of the vast accessibility of information on the internet, enabling students to learn from home. However, I strongly disagree with this notion as schools play a crucial role in enhancing comprehension and ensuring the accuracy of knowledge.
Firstly, attending schools can significantly enhance understanding compared to self-study online. Teachers play a pivotal role in breaking down complex information into more understandable segments, making it easier for students to grasp intricate concepts. For instance, adept mathematics instructors can assist their students in absorbing complex mathematical principles by simplifying and explaining them in thorough and appropriate ways. Consequently, students are more likely to comprehend these challenging concepts deeply, compared to independent learning online, where detailed explanations might be lacking.
Secondly, the reliability of information is better assured in schools compared to the internet. School lectures undergo careful curation and supervision by certified experts, ensuring accuracy and credibility. Conversely, information available online might lack authenticity as it can be posted by unverified sources. For example, English language learners in school can trust the meanings taught by qualified instructors, while learning via social media platforms might result in incorrect interpretations of words due to unverified sources. This could lead to unintended consequences, such as acquiring incorrect linguistic symbols.
In conclusion, I strongly oppose the idea that schools are unnecessary because of the wealth of information available online. Schools excel in providing a structured and reliable learning environment, ensuring comprehension and accuracy that might be lacking in online resources or home-based learning.