In the modern world, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

These days, the utilization of illicit drugs in the realm of sports has become more prevalent. The following paragraph will elucidate several potential ramifications and feasible measures to mitigate this problem.
There is no room for doubt that the repercussions of drug consumption among sportsmen are manifold. Firtly, the excessive use of illicit products can lead to the longterm health-related risks when athletes are predisposed to numerous enduring complications attributablr to the overabundant use of doping substances. In the long run, this may provoke the development of cardiovascular ailments or muscle weakness which have adverse impacts on the human expectancy. When it comes to the addictive nature of these drugs, sprotspeople may encounter siginificant challenges in ceasing usage once they commence. The athletes abusing performance-enhancing products can not discontinue to utilize, thus suffering from stress and tension in case of the insufficient supply.
However, there are several feasible solutions that can be implemented to deal with the current issue. Firstly, governments should foster the enforcement of more stringent legislation in sports and physical activities where participants are controlled and supervisioned in an attempt to minimize the possible cheating. Furthermore, thanks to technological and medical development, advanced drug testing technologies should be applied in such competitions where physical fitness is profoundly important. Moreover, another effective way to address this ongoing issue is the provision of knowledge about negative influences of drugs for sportmen in which they can gain deeper insights into this illegal behaviour.
In conclusion, the tendency of abusing illicit drugs poses severe challenges for sportsmen in the longterm path and sould be immediately banned in sport competition by education and enough checking.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"These days" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "These days."
"illicit drugs" -> "illicit substances"
Explanation: "Substances" is a broader and more formal term that encompasses a wider range of substances, including drugs, which is more appropriate in an academic context.
"Firtly" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Firstly" is the correct spelling of the word, which is necessary for maintaining professionalism and accuracy in formal writing.
"illicit products" -> "illicit substances"
Explanation: As mentioned earlier, "substances" is more appropriate and inclusive in an academic context, avoiding the more commercial connotation of "products."
"longterm" -> "long-term"
Explanation: "Long-term" should be hyphenated to adhere to standard English usage in formal writing.
"attributablr" -> "attributable"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling error to "attributable," ensuring the text maintains its academic integrity.
"adverse impacts on the human expectancy" -> "adverse impacts on human life expectancy"
Explanation: "Human life expectancy" is the correct term, providing clarity and specificity in the context of health risks.
"sprotspeople" -> "sportspeople"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "sportspeople" to maintain professionalism and accuracy.
"siginificant" -> "significant"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "significant" to ensure the text is free of typographical errors.
"ceasing usage once they commence" -> "ceasing use once they begin"
Explanation: "Use" is more appropriate than "usage" in this context, and "begin" is more formal than "commence."
"can not discontinue to utilize" -> "cannot discontinue using"
Explanation: "Cannot discontinue using" corrects the grammatical structure and removes the awkward phrasing.
"stress and tension in case of the insufficient supply" -> "stress and tension due to insufficient supply"
Explanation: "Due to" is more precise and formal than "in case of," improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"foster the enforcement" -> "enhance the enforcement"
Explanation: "Enhance" is more precise and formal than "foster" in this context, suggesting strengthening or improving the enforcement.
"supervisioned" -> "supervised"
Explanation: Corrects the verb form to "supervised" for grammatical accuracy.
"advanced drug testing technologies" -> "advanced drug-testing technologies"
Explanation: Adding a hyphen to "drug-testing" corrects the compound adjective form, aligning with standard English usage.
"sportmen" -> "sportspeople"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling to "sportspeople" for consistency and professionalism.
"sould" -> "should"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "should" to maintain the integrity of the text.
"enough checking" -> "sufficient checks"
Explanation: "Sufficient checks" is more formal and precise than "enough checking," aligning better with academic style.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the text, making it more suitable for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt effectively. It discusses the consequences of doping for athletes, highlighting health risks and addiction issues. The second part of the prompt regarding measures to combat doping is also covered, with suggestions for stricter legislation and improved education. However, the exploration of consequences could be more comprehensive, as it lacks depth in discussing the broader implications for the sport and society.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples of consequences, such as the impact on the integrity of sports and public perception. Additionally, discussing the role of sports organizations in combating doping could provide a more rounded answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that doping is detrimental to athletes and that measures are necessary to combat it. However, there are moments where the phrasing becomes convoluted, which may confuse the reader about the stance being taken. For instance, the phrase "the tendency of abusing illicit drugs poses severe challenges for sportsmen in the longterm path" could be clearer.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should aim for more straightforward language and structure. Using clear topic sentences and summarizing points at the end of paragraphs can help reinforce the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the consequences of doping and potential solutions. However, some points are not fully developed. For example, while the health risks are mentioned, they could be supported with statistics or studies to strengthen the argument. The solutions proposed are relevant but could benefit from further elaboration on how they would be implemented.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should include specific examples or case studies that illustrate the consequences of doping and the effectiveness of proposed measures. This would provide a stronger foundation for the arguments made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt directly. However, there are instances of slight deviation, such as the mention of "stress and tension" without clearly linking it back to the broader consequences of doping. This could distract from the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. Using a clear outline before writing can help in organizing thoughts and ensuring that all parts of the question are addressed systematically.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and development of arguments. By incorporating more specific examples and ensuring a clearer structure, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the subsequent paragraphs that address the consequences of doping and potential solutions. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing health risks to addiction feels abrupt, lacking a clear connection or transitional phrase that would guide the reader more smoothly. Additionally, the solutions are introduced in a somewhat disjointed manner, with the second solution (technological advancements) following immediately after the first without a clear link or transition.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "In addition," or "Furthermore," to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph can also help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with distinct sections for the introduction, consequences, and solutions. However, the paragraphs could be more developed. For example, the paragraph discussing the consequences of doping could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more detailed explanations of each point made. The current paragraph on solutions is also somewhat brief and could be expanded to include more examples or elaboration on the proposed measures.
- How to improve: Aim to develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences that provide examples or further explanation. This could involve breaking down complex ideas into simpler components and ensuring that each paragraph contains a balanced amount of information. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea will help maintain clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," and "Moreover," to signal the introduction of new ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For instance, the phrase "However, there are several feasible solutions" could be better connected to the previous paragraph to enhance coherence. Additionally, there are instances of typographical errors (e.g., "Firtly," "sould") that detract from the overall cohesiveness of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "On the other hand," "Consequently," or "As a result," to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, proofreading for typographical errors will help maintain the professionalism of the essay and ensure that the reader can follow the argument without distraction.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph development, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "utilization," "illicit drugs," "ramifications," and "mitigate." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in expression. For example, the phrase "longterm health-related risks" could be varied with synonyms such as "chronic health issues" or "prolonged health consequences." Additionally, the use of "sportsmen" and "sprotspeople" could be expanded to include "athletes" or "competitors" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should actively incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Reading widely in academic and sports-related contexts can help identify alternative expressions. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also aid in developing a more varied vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary choices are appropriate, there are instances of imprecise usage that hinder clarity. For example, "the human expectancy" is awkward and should be replaced with "life expectancy." Additionally, "suffering from stress and tension in case of the insufficient supply" is unclear; it would be more precise to say "experiencing stress and anxiety due to a lack of access to the drugs." The term "enduring complications" is also vague and could be specified further.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing definitions and contexts of words before using them. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or instructors on word choice can help identify areas for improvement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. Examples include "Firtly" (should be "Firstly"), "longterm" (should be "long-term"), "attributablr" (should be "attributable"), "sprotspeople" (should be "sportspeople"), "siginificant" (should be "significant"), and "sould" (should be "should"). These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can negatively impact the reader’s perception of the writer’s proficiency.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement proofreading strategies, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help reinforce correct spelling. Regular writing practice, combined with focused spelling exercises, can also contribute to improvement in this area.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary suitable for the topic, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By actively expanding vocabulary, refining word choice for clarity, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences that could enhance the depth of the argument. For example, the sentence "The following paragraph will elucidate several potential ramifications and feasible measures to mitigate this problem." is straightforward but lacks complexity. Additionally, phrases like "the excessive use of illicit products can lead to the longterm health-related risks" are somewhat repetitive in structure.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying, "The athletes abusing performance-enhancing products can not discontinue to utilize," the writer could say, "Athletes who abuse performance-enhancing products often find it difficult to discontinue their use, leading to significant psychological stress." This not only varies the structure but also enhances clarity and engagement.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "Firtly" is a misspelling of "Firstly," and "attributablr" should be "attributable." Additionally, phrases such as "longterm health-related risks" should be hyphenated as "long-term." The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences, which can lead to confusion. For instance, "the provision of knowledge about negative influences of drugs for sportmen in which they can gain deeper insights into this illegal behaviour" lacks necessary commas that would clarify the meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay for spelling errors and ensure proper hyphenation of compound adjectives. Additionally, practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can improve clarity. For example, breaking down long sentences into shorter ones or using commas to separate clauses can help. The writer could also benefit from reviewing grammar rules related to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, improving the variety of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing. Regular practice and careful proofreading can help the writer achieve these improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

These days, the utilization of illicit substances in the realm of sports has become more prevalent. The following paragraph will elucidate several potential ramifications and feasible measures to mitigate this problem.

There is no room for doubt that the repercussions of drug consumption among sportspeople are manifold. Firstly, the excessive use of illicit substances can lead to long-term health-related risks when athletes are predisposed to numerous enduring complications attributable to the overabundant use of doping substances. In the long run, this may provoke the development of cardiovascular ailments or muscle weakness, which have adverse impacts on human life expectancy. When it comes to the addictive nature of these drugs, sportspeople may encounter significant challenges in ceasing use once they begin. Athletes abusing performance-enhancing products cannot discontinue using them, thus suffering from stress and tension due to insufficient supply.

However, there are several feasible solutions that can be implemented to deal with the current issue. Firstly, governments should enhance the enforcement of more stringent legislation in sports and physical activities where participants are controlled and supervised in an attempt to minimize possible cheating. Furthermore, thanks to technological and medical development, advanced drug-testing technologies should be applied in competitions where physical fitness is profoundly important. Moreover, another effective way to address this ongoing issue is the provision of knowledge about the negative influences of drugs for sportspeople, in which they can gain deeper insights into this illegal behavior.

In conclusion, the tendency to abuse illicit substances poses severe challenges for sportspeople in the long term and should be immediately addressed in sports competitions through education and sufficient checks.