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In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is an ongoing debate about whether knowledge and information should be stored in books or on the Internet. With the advancements of technology and an ability to access the Internet, people are more inclined to make use of the Internet as an alternative to classic books, which once in the past was the only source of knowledge.From my point of view, the advantages of using Internet as a high-quality source of knowledge outweigh the drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are some concerns that arise when it comes to online sources of knowledge. First and foremost, regarding authentication it is true that the Internet is flooded with a vast amount of information and it is not common that any experts will double check most of the documents. This phenomenon can lead to lack of authenticity and misunderstandings in some circumstances.Second, copyright issues are the utmost complex problem. For example, reference books like Cambridge Ielts, Hacker Ielts or Mindset Ielts,… are among the utmost sought for those intending to take Ielts exams. However, there are many file pdfs on the Internet for downloading these books without paying any fee. Therefore, this may result in detrimental loss in income for publishers as they have invested a huge amount of money and efforts to research and write books.

On the other hand, I would argue that the Internet offers more benefits and facilitates storing information compared to books. First of all,the Internet provides convenience and accessibility to wider audiences. All people need to search for information on the Internet is a portable device with Internet connection, such as a laptop or mobile phone connected with Wifi, which can eliminate the need to carry such heavy books or wait for a long queue when purchasing books at the bookstore. Moreover, the price for using the Internet is much more affordable than buying a book from physical bookstores. Second, online sources of information can not be lost as the link of the websites is still kept. In contrast, books can be lost, burnt, wet or damaged due to the destruction of time and letters can fade over a period.

In conclusion, storing knowledge online has undenied benefits that totally outweigh the disadvantages it may bring. Nonetheless, there should be actions to be taken in order to protect the rights of publishers as well as ensure only the truth will be delivered to readers.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. “advancements of technology” -> “advances in technology”
    Explanation: Replacing “advancements of technology” with “advances in technology” is a more formal and concise expression, aligning with academic style.
  2. “make use of” -> “utilize”
    Explanation: Substituting “make use of” with “utilize” enhances the formality of the language without sacrificing clarity. “Utilize” is a more sophisticated alternative.
  3. “once in the past” -> “formerly”
    Explanation: Changing “once in the past” to “formerly” maintains the chronological sense while using a more formal and succinct term.
  4. “advantages of using Internet” -> “advantages of using the Internet”
    Explanation: Adding “the” before “Internet” makes the phrase grammatically correct and conforms to proper usage.
  5. “outweigh the drawbacks” -> “outweigh the disadvantages”
    Explanation: Replacing “drawbacks” with “disadvantages” is a more precise and academically suitable term in this context.
  6. “concerns that arise” -> “concerns that emerge”
    Explanation: Substituting “concerns that arise” with “concerns that emerge” adds a touch of formality and variety to the language.
  7. “authentication” -> “verification”
    Explanation: Changing “authentication” to “verification” maintains the meaning while using a more formal and widely accepted term in academic writing.
  8. “it is not common that any experts will double check most of the documents” -> “experts commonly do not verify the majority of documents”
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality, and replacing “double check” with “verify” contributes to a more academic tone.
  9. “phenomenon can lead to lack of authenticity” -> “phenomenon can result in a lack of authenticity”
    Explanation: Adding “result in” improves the flow of the sentence, making it more academically sound.
  10. “utmost complex problem” -> “most complex issue”
    Explanation: Substituting “utmost complex problem” with “most complex issue” is more grammatically accurate and aligns better with academic style.
  11. “detrimental loss” -> “significant loss”
    Explanation: Replacing “detrimental loss” with “significant loss” maintains the severity of the consequence while using a more formal term.
  12. “as they have invested a huge amount of money and efforts” -> “since they have invested a substantial amount of money and effort”
    Explanation: Enhancing formality by replacing “huge” with “substantial” and restructuring the sentence for clarity.
  13. “I would argue that” -> “I contend that”
    Explanation: Substituting “I would argue that” with “I contend that” contributes to a more formal and assertive tone.
  14. “First of all,” -> “Firstly,”
    Explanation: Changing “First of all,” to “Firstly,” is a more formal and common transition in academic writing.
  15. “All people need” -> “Individuals only need”
    Explanation: Using “Individuals only need” adds formality and precision to the statement.
  16. “the need to carry such heavy books” -> “the necessity of carrying bulky books”
    Explanation: Substituting “the need to carry such heavy books” with “the necessity of carrying bulky books” is more precise and formal.
  17. “the price for using the Internet” -> “the cost of accessing the Internet”
    Explanation: Replacing “the price for using the Internet” with “the cost of accessing the Internet” is more accurate and formal.
  18. “Second,” -> “Secondly,”
    Explanation: Similar to point 14, changing “Second,” to “Secondly,” is a more formal and appropriate transition in academic writing.
  19. “can not be lost” -> “cannot be lost”
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error by changing “can not” to “cannot.”
  20. “link of the websites” -> “website links”
    Explanation: Restructuring the phrase for clarity and using the plural “website links” is more grammatically correct.
  21. “undenied benefits” -> “undeniable benefits”
    Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error by changing “undenied benefits” to “undeniable benefits.”
  22. “may bring” -> “may entail”
    Explanation: Substituting “may bring” with “may entail” is more formal and academically appropriate.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: “From my point of view, the advantages of using Internet as a high-quality source of knowledge outweigh the drawbacks.”
    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction establishes your viewpoint clearly, which is positive. However, it lacks a brief roadmap of the main points you’ll discuss. Adding a sentence outlining the key advantages and disadvantages you’ll address could enhance the overall structure and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: “From my point of view, the advantages of using the Internet as a high-quality source of knowledge outweigh the drawbacks. In this essay, I will delve into the convenience and accessibility provided by the Internet, while also addressing concerns related to authenticity and copyright issues.”
  2. Quoted text: “First and foremost, regarding authentication, it is true that the Internet is flooded with a vast amount of information, and it is not common that any experts will double-check most of the documents.”
    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about authentication is valid, but the expression is somewhat convoluted. Simplify the sentence for clarity and consider providing a specific example to illustrate the potential consequences of unchecked information, strengthening your argument.
    • Improved example: “Firstly, the sheer volume of information on the Internet makes thorough authentication challenging. For instance, without expert verification, misinformation can easily circulate, leading to misunderstandings among users.”
  3. Quoted text: “Second, online sources of information cannot be lost as the link of the websites is still kept. In contrast, books can be lost, burnt, wet, or damaged due to the destruction of time and letters can fade over a period.”
    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While the point is valid, it lacks depth. Elaborate on why the preservation of online sources is advantageous and how it contributes to the accessibility of information. Consider providing a real-world example to strengthen your argument.
    • Improved example: “Secondly, online sources offer a level of permanence, as the links to websites endure over time. This not only ensures information remains accessible but also guards against the risks of physical damage that books face. For instance, a fire or water damage could irreversibly destroy a book, leading to the loss of valuable knowledge.”

Overall, your essay adequately addresses the task, presents a clear position, and provides relevant supporting ideas. However, strengthening your examples and ensuring they are more illustrative could further enhance the depth of your argument.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a moderate level of coherence and cohesion. It presents a clear progression of ideas with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There’s an attempt to logically organize information, but it could be improved for more seamless connectivity between sentences and paragraphs. Some cohesive devices are used effectively, but there are instances of mechanical or faulty cohesion, especially within sentences. The paragraphing is somewhat effective, although there are areas where the logical flow could be enhanced for better coherence.

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the argument, but the body paragraphs lack consistent cohesion. Ideas within each paragraph tend to stray at times, affecting the overall coherence. While there’s an attempt to present contrasting views, the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between these contrasting points for better coherence.

How to improve:

  1. Enhance cohesion: Focus on using cohesive devices more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas and within sentences. Ensure the logical relationship between sentences is clear and natural.
  2. Refine paragraphing: Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear central topic and logical progression of ideas. Avoid straying from the main point within paragraphs.
  3. Maintain consistency: Ensure that the essay maintains a consistent flow of ideas throughout, connecting each part coherently to the overall argument.

Additionally, consider refining the use of vocabulary, sentence structure, and grammar to further strengthen the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. It makes use of less common lexical items, showing some awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, but they do not significantly impede communication. The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, and the essay effectively conveys the author’s viewpoint.

How to improve:
To move to a higher band score, the writer could focus on refining the accuracy of word choice and reducing minor errors in spelling and word formation. Incorporating a broader range of sophisticated vocabulary and enhancing awareness of style and collocation would further elevate the lexical resource score. Additionally, ensuring a consistently smooth flow of language would contribute to a more polished and cohesive essay.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is an attempt at a variety of sentence forms, though some errors in grammar and punctuation exist. The essay conveys the writer’s points adequately despite occasional errors, but these errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to Improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining complex sentence structures further. Pay attention to grammar and punctuation errors, aiming for more consistency and precision. Proofreading can help identify and rectify these issues, improving overall clarity and coherence.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an ongoing debate about whether knowledge and information should be stored in books or on the Internet. With the advancements of technology and the ability to access the Internet, people are more inclined to use the Internet as an alternative to classic books, which were once the primary source of knowledge. From my perspective, the advantages of using the Internet as a high-quality source of knowledge outweigh the drawbacks.

On one hand, there are concerns that arise when it comes to online sources of knowledge. Firstly, regarding authentication, it is true that the Internet is flooded with a vast amount of information, and it is not common for experts to double-check most documents. This phenomenon can lead to a lack of authenticity and misunderstandings in some circumstances. Secondly, copyright issues are the utmost complex problem. For example, reference books like Cambridge IELTS, Hacker IELTS, or Mindset IELTS are among the most sought after for those intending to take IELTS exams. However, there are many PDF files on the Internet for downloading these books without paying any fee. Therefore, this may result in detrimental loss of income for publishers as they have invested a huge amount of money and effort into researching and writing books.

On the other hand, I would argue that the Internet offers more benefits and facilitates storing information compared to books. First of all, the Internet provides convenience and accessibility to a wider audience. All people need to search for information on the Internet is a portable device with an Internet connection, such as a laptop or mobile phone connected to Wifi, which can eliminate the need to carry heavy books or wait in long queues when purchasing books at the bookstore. Moreover, the price for using the Internet is much more affordable than buying a book from physical bookstores. Secondly, online sources of information cannot be lost as the link to the websites is still kept. In contrast, books can be lost, burnt, wet, or damaged due to the destruction of time, and letters can fade over a period.

In conclusion, storing knowledge online has undeniable benefits that outweigh the disadvantages it may bring. Nonetheless, actions should be taken to protect the rights of publishers and ensure that only the truth will be delivered to readers.

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