In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is commonly acknowledged that in the past, people were accustomed to comparing the differences between foreign cities and their home countries when they traveled abroad. However, cities throughout the world are increasingly converging in their characteristics these days. In my opinion, there are numerous factors contributing to this phenomenon, and the benefits of this development are more substantial than the disadvantages.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why this is the case, one of which is the establishment of international standards and regulations. To illustrate, countries can adopt similar infrastructures and practices to meet shared international guidelines for urban planning, such as environmental sustainability. In addition, the convergence of diverse cultural influences might contribute to identical city structures. In other words, the cross-cultural exchange that occurs through movement across borders brings different cultures together, ultimately leading to the blending of cultural elements, which can enhance the overall similarity of city structures worldwide.
Nonetheless, I strongly believe that the advantages brought by this development surpass its drawbacks. Firstly, the similarities between cities can facilitate the adaptation and integration of multiple cultures. For example, when people from diverse backgrounds encounter common urban experiences, they can connect more easily than those in unfamiliar cities. Secondly, similar urban environments can foster business operations. This is because operating within common infrastructures and urban experiences can mitigate the challenges associated with adapting to unfamiliar local environments, which in turn makes it easier for businesses to operate and thrive.
In conclusion, there are various reasons why this phenomenon is occurring, and in my view, this development is more positive than negative.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is commonly acknowledged" -> "It is widely recognized"
Explanation: "Widely recognized" is a more precise and formal term that enhances the academic tone of the sentence, replacing the slightly informal "commonly acknowledged."
"people were accustomed to" -> "individuals were accustomed to"
Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal alternative to "people," which is typically used in academic writing to refer to people in a more precise manner.
"when they traveled abroad" -> "when they traveled internationally"
Explanation: "Internationally" is a more precise and formal term than "abroad," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts.
"are increasingly converging" -> "are increasingly converging"
Explanation: The phrase "are increasingly converging" is redundant. Removing "increasingly" maintains the formal tone while avoiding redundancy.
"the benefits of this development are more substantial than the disadvantages" -> "the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages"
Explanation: "Outweigh" is a more precise and formal verb than "are more substantial," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"one of which is the establishment of international standards and regulations" -> "one such factor is the establishment of international standards and regulations"
Explanation: "One such factor" is more precise and formal, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"can adopt similar infrastructures and practices" -> "may adopt similar infrastructures and practices"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "can" in formal academic writing, as it suggests possibility rather than capability, which is more precise in this context.
"the convergence of diverse cultural influences might contribute to identical city structures" -> "the convergence of diverse cultural influences may contribute to similar city structures"
Explanation: "Similar" is more accurate than "identical," as cities are unlikely to be completely identical, and "may" is preferred over "might" for a more formal tone.
"the cross-cultural exchange that occurs through movement across borders" -> "the cross-cultural exchange that occurs through international migration"
Explanation: "International migration" is a more specific and formal term than "movement across borders," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the blending of cultural elements" -> "the fusion of cultural elements"
Explanation: "Fusion" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "blending," which is somewhat informal and less specific.
"the advantages brought by this development surpass its drawbacks" -> "the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages"
Explanation: "Outweigh" is more formal and precise than "surpass," and "disadvantages" is the correct plural form for the noun.
"can facilitate the adaptation and integration of multiple cultures" -> "can facilitate the integration and adaptation of diverse cultures"
Explanation: "Integration and adaptation" is a more natural order in academic writing, and "diverse" is a more precise adjective than "multiple" in this context.
"similar urban environments can foster business operations" -> "similar urban environments can promote business operations"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more formal and precise verb than "foster" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.
"mitigate the challenges associated with adapting to unfamiliar local environments" -> "reduce the challenges associated with adapting to unfamiliar local environments"
Explanation: "Reduce" is a more precise verb than "mitigate" in this context, as it directly addresses the diminution of challenges.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the increasing similarity of cities, such as the establishment of international standards and cultural convergence. Additionally, it discusses the implications of this trend, arguing that it is a positive development. The essay provides relevant examples, such as the impact on cultural integration and business operations, which support the argument well.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from a more explicit discussion of the negative aspects of this development. While the author asserts that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, providing at least a brief mention of potential drawbacks would demonstrate a more balanced perspective and fulfill the prompt’s requirement to discuss both sides.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The author maintains a clear position throughout the essay, asserting that the benefits of cities becoming more similar outweigh the drawbacks. This stance is consistently reinforced in both the body paragraphs, where the author presents supporting arguments. The use of phrases like "I strongly believe" emphasizes the author’s conviction.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could reiterate the main argument in the conclusion with a more definitive statement. For instance, explicitly summarizing the key reasons why the advantages surpass the disadvantages could reinforce the position and leave a stronger impression on the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports its ideas well. The author introduces reasons for the similarity of cities and elaborates on them with relevant examples. The discussion on cultural integration and business operations is particularly effective, as it provides concrete instances of how similarities can be beneficial.
- How to improve: While the ideas are well-supported, the essay could further extend its arguments by incorporating additional examples or evidence. For instance, mentioning specific cities that exemplify these trends or citing studies on urban development could add depth to the analysis and provide a more comprehensive view of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the reasons for the similarity of cities and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, and the arguments are relevant to the prompt.
- How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author could use transitional phrases to link ideas more explicitly back to the prompt. For example, when discussing the benefits of similar urban environments, reiterating how these benefits relate to the original question about the development’s positivity could enhance coherence and reinforce the essay’s relevance to the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the author’s perspective. With minor adjustments to address potential drawbacks, reinforce the position, extend arguments, and enhance coherence, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical organization of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are structured to first explore the reasons for the convergence of cities and then to discuss the advantages of this phenomenon. For instance, the transition from discussing international standards to cultural influences is smooth and maintains a logical flow. However, the connection between the reasons and the advantages could be made more explicit to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, the writer could use explicit linking phrases that connect the reasons for convergence directly to the advantages discussed later. For example, after discussing international standards, a phrase like "This not only leads to uniformity but also…" could help bridge the ideas more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate distinct ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first body paragraph discusses the reasons for the convergence, while the second addresses the positive aspects of this trend. Each paragraph is well-developed, containing relevant examples and explanations. However, the conclusion could be more distinct and reflective of the main points discussed, rather than merely summarizing.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, the conclusion should not only summarize but also synthesize the main ideas presented in the body paragraphs. The writer could restate the main reasons and advantages in a way that reinforces their argument, perhaps by emphasizing the implications of these similarities for future urban development.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand," "for example," and "in addition," which help to guide the reader through the argument. These devices contribute to the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using alternatives such as "furthermore," "conversely," or "as a result" can enhance the flow and make the connections between ideas more dynamic. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more engaging reading experience.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, with logical organization and effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By focusing on enhancing the explicit connections between ideas, refining the conclusion, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively utilizing terms such as "converging," "infrastructures," "cross-cultural exchange," and "urban planning." These words illustrate a strong grasp of relevant terminology related to the topic of globalization and urban development. The use of phrases like "numerous factors" and "substantial advantages" also showcases the writer’s ability to express complex ideas succinctly.
- How to improve: While the vocabulary is varied, there are opportunities to incorporate even more sophisticated synonyms or phrases to enhance the richness of the language. For instance, instead of repeating "similarities," the writer could use alternatives like "homogeneity" or "uniformity." Additionally, including more idiomatic expressions or collocations related to globalization could further elevate the lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a high degree of precision. Terms like "environmental sustainability" and "urban experiences" are used appropriately, conveying clear meanings. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the advantages brought by this development" could be more specific; it might be clearer to specify what "this development" refers to in the context of the preceding sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that all terms are clearly defined and contextually relevant. For example, elaborating on what "common urban experiences" entails could provide greater clarity. Additionally, using more specific adjectives or adverbs can help convey nuances in meaning, such as replacing "numerous factors" with "a myriad of contributing factors."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors throughout the text. Words are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the essay. This level of spelling accuracy is crucial for achieving a high band score in the IELTS writing assessment.
- How to improve: To maintain this high standard of spelling, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards for commonly misspelled words or employing spelling apps, can help reinforce this skill. Additionally, reading widely can expose the writer to correct spelling in various contexts, further solidifying their spelling proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong lexical resource capabilities, but there is room for enhancement in vocabulary variety, precision, and continued attention to spelling accuracy. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can aim for an even higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "the convergence of diverse cultural influences might contribute to identical city structures," which effectively conveys nuanced ideas. Additionally, the essay employs conditional structures, such as "when people from diverse backgrounds encounter common urban experiences," which adds depth to the argument. However, while there is a good mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences, some sentences could be further varied in length and structure to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "there are" or "this is," try using participial phrases or adverbial clauses to create more dynamic openings. Additionally, experimenting with inversion in certain sentences can add variety and interest.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy in the essay is generally high, with only minor errors present. For example, the phrase "the advantages brought by this development surpass its drawbacks" is grammatically correct and clearly articulated. However, there are instances where punctuation could be improved, such as the use of commas in complex sentences. For instance, in the sentence "In addition, the convergence of diverse cultural influences might contribute to identical city structures," the comma after "In addition" is correctly placed, but the sentence could benefit from clearer separation of clauses to enhance readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation, focus on ensuring that all clauses are clearly delineated. For example, when using conjunctions to connect independent clauses, ensure that commas are used appropriately to avoid run-on sentences. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules for complex sentences can help clarify meaning and improve overall coherence. Engaging in targeted grammar exercises that focus on complex sentence structures and punctuation can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for improvement in sentence variety and punctuation clarity. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can further enhance the sophistication and readability of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely recognized that in the past, individuals were accustomed to comparing the differences between foreign cities and their home countries when they traveled internationally. However, cities throughout the world are increasingly converging in their characteristics these days. In my opinion, there are numerous factors contributing to this phenomenon, and the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why this is the case, one of which is the establishment of international standards and regulations. To illustrate, countries may adopt similar infrastructures and practices to meet shared international guidelines for urban planning, such as environmental sustainability. In addition, the convergence of diverse cultural influences may contribute to similar city structures. In other words, the cross-cultural exchange that occurs through international migration brings different cultures together, ultimately leading to the fusion of cultural elements, which can enhance the overall similarity of city structures worldwide.

Nonetheless, I strongly believe that the advantages brought by this development surpass its drawbacks. Firstly, the similarities between cities can facilitate the integration and adaptation of diverse cultures. For example, when people from various backgrounds encounter common urban experiences, they can connect more easily than those in unfamiliar cities. Secondly, similar urban environments can promote business operations. This is because operating within common infrastructures and urban experiences can reduce the challenges associated with adapting to unfamiliar local environments, which in turn makes it easier for businesses to operate and thrive.

In conclusion, there are various reasons why this phenomenon is occurring, and in my view, the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages.