In the world today, there is a complicated issue that requires careful research and analysis regarding renting a house versus owning one. Many people strongly believe that owning a house is more convenient and freedom than renting.

In today's world, there is a complex issue that requires careful research and analysis between renting and owning a home. Many people have a strong belief that owning a home is more convenient and free than renting. However, others think that a house is not suitable for their budget, so they have to choose the other option. Despite many discussions and risks, I firmly believe that the benefits of renting far outweigh the disadvantages.
Initially, renting a house was associated with a material deficiency in the place of residence. First, renters often feel they have little control over their residence. Second, they feel hesitant to decorate because perhaps they may not be here for a long time in the future. Furthermore, renting a house can be more expensive, and rent prices are rarely stable with changes in landlords. This creates a financial burden for the tenant, especially when the contract expires and the rent increases. For example, the landlord decides to buy the house that the tenant is still living in to someone else, leading to expense and inconvenience for the tenant. At that time, the tenant must change accommodation for unexpected reasons. Therefore, these unfavorable reasons for renting a house cannot be ignored and should be considered adequately and carefully.
However, proceeding with leasing brings significant benefits. First of all, renting a home is more affordable than buying a home at a high price at the time of purchase, especially for those who cannot afford the down payment, closing costs, and expenses. Continuous maintenance and repair while living there. In addition, tenants can easily move to other areas without having to make a long-term commitment. Furthermore, renting relieves the tenant of maintenance responsibilities because the landlord is usually responsible for repairs, which means the tenant does not have to worry about repair costs while in residence. These benefits is extremely important to tenants and cannot be ignored or ignored. Therefore, I strongly believe that the potential benefits of renting far outweigh any possible drawbacks.

Besides, it is necessary to acknowledge the drawbacks of renting, such as lack of long-term investment and the possibility of increased rental costs. However, these concerns can be minimized by choosing different rental commitments or locations that suit each person's abilities. Ultimately, the advantages of financial flexibility and lifestyle adaptability will significantly outweigh the disadvantages associated with renting. In short, for many individuals and families, renting remains a more practical and beneficial choice in today's ever-changing economic landscape.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many people have a strong belief" -> "Many individuals hold a strong conviction"
Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" and "believe" with "hold a conviction" elevates the formality and specificity of the language, aligning better with academic style.
"owning a home is more convenient and free than renting" -> "owning a home is more advantageous and cost-effective than renting"
Explanation: The phrase "more convenient and free" is vague and informal. "More advantageous and cost-effective" provides a clearer, more precise description of the benefits of owning a home in a formal academic context.
"a house is not suitable for their budget" -> "a house may not be financially feasible for them"
Explanation: "Not suitable for their budget" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Not financially feasible" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic tone better.
"Despite many discussions and risks" -> "Despite numerous discussions and potential risks"
Explanation: "Many discussions and risks" is vague and informal. "Numerous discussions and potential risks" specifies the scope and nature of the issues, enhancing the academic tone.
"renting a house was associated with a material deficiency" -> "renting a house is often associated with material limitations"
Explanation: "Was associated with a material deficiency" implies a past tense that may not be intended. "Is often associated with material limitations" maintains a present tense that is more suitable for general statements in academic writing.
"they feel hesitant to decorate" -> "they may feel hesitant to decorate"
Explanation: Adding "may" softens the statement, making it more tentative and less absolute, which is more appropriate in academic writing where certainty is not always assumed.
"perhaps they may not be here for a long time in the future" -> "they may not remain in the property for an extended period"
Explanation: "Perhaps they may not be here for a long time in the future" is redundant and informal. "They may not remain in the property for an extended period" is more concise and formal.
"renting a house can be more expensive" -> "renting a house may be more costly"
Explanation: "Can be more expensive" is somewhat informal and vague. "May be more costly" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic discourse.
"rent prices are rarely stable" -> "rental prices are often unstable"
Explanation: "Rent prices are rarely stable" is a passive construction that can be improved for clarity and formality. "Rental prices are often unstable" is more direct and formal.
"creates a financial burden for the tenant" -> "places a financial burden on the tenant"
Explanation: "Creates a financial burden for the tenant" is slightly informal. "Places a financial burden on the tenant" is more formal and precise, fitting the academic style better.
"the tenant must change accommodation for unexpected reasons" -> "the tenant may need to relocate for unforeseen reasons"
Explanation: "Must change accommodation" is too absolute and informal. "May need to relocate" is more tentative and appropriate for academic writing, where uncertainty is acknowledged.
"These benefits is extremely important" -> "These benefits are extremely important"
Explanation: "Benefits is" is a grammatical error. "Benefits are" corrects the verb agreement, ensuring grammatical accuracy in formal writing.
"cannot be ignored or ignored" -> "should not be overlooked"
Explanation: "Cannot be ignored or ignored" is redundant and informal. "Should not be overlooked" is concise and maintains the formal tone required in academic writing.
"the potential benefits of renting far outweigh any possible drawbacks" -> "the potential benefits of renting significantly outweigh any potential drawbacks"
Explanation: "Far outweigh" is somewhat informal and vague. "Significantly outweigh" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic discourse.
"the advantages of financial flexibility and lifestyle adaptability" -> "the advantages of financial flexibility and adaptability in lifestyle"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrase improves the flow and clarity of the sentence, aligning better with formal academic style.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with the standards of academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both renting and owning a home, presenting arguments for the benefits of renting. The introduction outlines the complexity of the issue, and the body paragraphs provide a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of both options. However, the essay could have explicitly acknowledged the merits of owning a home to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should include a brief discussion of the benefits of owning a home, even if the primary focus remains on renting. This would demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic and allow for a more nuanced argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position favoring renting over owning throughout the essay. Phrases like "I firmly believe that the benefits of renting far outweigh the disadvantages" and "I strongly believe that the potential benefits of renting far outweigh any possible drawbacks" reinforce this stance. However, the position could be more consistently highlighted in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should reiterate their main argument in the conclusion, summarizing the key points that support their stance. This would reinforce their viewpoint and ensure that the reader is left with a strong impression of their argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several well-developed ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of renting. For instance, the discussion on financial flexibility and maintenance responsibilities is well-articulated. However, some points, such as the financial burden of rent increases, could benefit from further elaboration or specific examples to enhance their impact.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should consider adding more specific examples or statistics related to renting versus owning. For instance, citing average rental costs in comparison to mortgage payments could provide concrete evidence to support their claims.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the comparison between renting and owning a home. However, there are moments where the discussion of disadvantages could be more succinct, as some points seem repetitive (e.g., the mention of financial burdens and lack of control).
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should aim for conciseness by avoiding repetition and ensuring that each point made contributes uniquely to the overall argument. A clearer structure with distinct sections for advantages and disadvantages could help in organizing thoughts more effectively.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-reasoned argument in favor of renting. With some adjustments in addressing all parts of the question, reinforcing the position, providing more specific support for ideas, and maintaining focus, the essay could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph addresses specific points related to renting versus owning a home, which helps in maintaining a logical flow. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the disadvantages of renting, while the second focuses on its advantages. However, the transition between the disadvantages and advantages could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that signal a shift in focus. For example, after discussing the disadvantages of renting, a phrase like "On the other hand" could better prepare the reader for the subsequent discussion of advantages. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help reinforce the main idea and guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, such as the drawbacks of renting and the benefits, which contributes to overall coherence. However, some paragraphs could be more tightly focused. For example, the paragraph discussing the benefits of renting could be split into two: one focusing on financial benefits and the other on lifestyle flexibility.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant details. Consider starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. This will help in maintaining focus and ensuring that each paragraph contributes effectively to the overall argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "first," and "in addition," which help connect ideas and maintain flow. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "these benefits is extremely important to tenants" lacks a cohesive device that ties it back to the previous sentence, making the transition less smooth.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "moreover," "consequently," and "in contrast." Additionally, ensure that subject-verb agreement is maintained (e.g., "these benefits are extremely important"). This not only enhances cohesion but also improves grammatical accuracy, contributing to a more polished essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving transitions between ideas, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the use of cohesive devices, the writer can elevate the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "complex issue," "financial burden," and "long-term commitment." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases such as "renting a house" and "owning a home." This limits the lexical variety and richness expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "renting" and "owning," alternatives like "leasing," "tenancy," "homeownership," or "property acquisition" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs can help diversify the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its points, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary. For example, the phrase "material deficiency in the place of residence" is awkward and unclear. The term "free" in "more convenient and free than renting" is also vague and does not accurately convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should aim for clarity in word choice. For instance, instead of "material deficiency," a clearer phrase like "lack of ownership" could be used. Additionally, replacing "free" with "freedom" or "flexibility" would enhance clarity. It is crucial to ensure that each term accurately reflects the intended meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "expense" instead of "expensive," and "these benefits is" instead of "these benefits are." Such errors can detract from the overall quality of the writing and indicate a lack of attention to detail.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises and reading can help reinforce correct spelling patterns. It may also be beneficial to create a list of commonly misspelled words and review them regularly.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of introductory phrases such as "Initially" and "However" effectively transitions between ideas. Additionally, sentences like "Despite many discussions and risks, I firmly believe that the benefits of renting far outweigh the disadvantages" showcase a more complex structure. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are presented, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that combine multiple clauses. For example, instead of saying "First, renters often feel they have little control over their residence," you could say, "While renters often feel they have little control over their residence, they also enjoy the flexibility that comes with not being tied down to a property." This not only adds complexity but also allows for a more nuanced discussion of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are a few notable errors. For instance, the phrase "the benefits of renting far outweigh the disadvantages" is correctly structured, yet there are awkward constructions such as "the landlord decides to buy the house that the tenant is still living in to someone else," which could be clearer. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, can disrupt the flow of reading. For example, "However, others think that a house is not suitable for their budget, so they have to choose the other option" could benefit from a clearer structure.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on sentence clarity and punctuation. Review the rules for comma usage, particularly in compound sentences and lists. For example, consider revising sentences for clarity: "For example, the landlord decides to sell the house that the tenant is still living in to someone else" would be clearer. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing can help enhance overall clarity and coherence.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of sophistication and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, there is a complex issue that requires careful research and analysis regarding renting a house versus owning one. Many individuals hold a strong conviction that owning a home is more advantageous and offers greater freedom than renting. However, others believe that purchasing a house may not be financially feasible for them, leading them to opt for the rental option. Despite numerous discussions and potential risks, I firmly believe that the benefits of renting far outweigh the disadvantages.

Initially, renting a house is often associated with material limitations in the place of residence. First, renters frequently feel they have little control over their living space. Second, they may feel hesitant to decorate, as they may not remain in the property for an extended period. Furthermore, renting a house can be more costly, as rental prices are often unstable due to changes in landlords. This places a financial burden on the tenant, especially when the contract expires and the rent increases. For example, if the landlord decides to sell the house that the tenant is currently living in, it can lead to unexpected expenses and inconvenience. At that time, the tenant may need to relocate for unforeseen reasons. Therefore, these unfavorable aspects of renting cannot be overlooked and should be considered carefully.

However, proceeding with leasing brings significant benefits. First of all, renting a home is often more affordable than buying one at a high price, especially for those who cannot afford the down payment, closing costs, and ongoing maintenance expenses. In addition, tenants can easily move to other areas without having to make a long-term commitment. Furthermore, renting relieves the tenant of maintenance responsibilities, as the landlord is usually responsible for repairs. This means the tenant does not have to worry about repair costs while residing in the property. These benefits are extremely important to tenants and should not be overlooked. Therefore, I strongly believe that the potential benefits of renting significantly outweigh any potential drawbacks.

Moreover, it is necessary to acknowledge the drawbacks of renting, such as the lack of long-term investment and the possibility of increased rental costs. However, these concerns can be minimized by choosing different rental commitments or locations that suit each person’s financial situation. Ultimately, the advantages of financial flexibility and adaptability in lifestyle will significantly outweigh the disadvantages associated with renting. In short, for many individuals and families, renting remains a more practical and beneficial choice in today’s ever-changing economic landscape.