fbpx

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.

Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In their advertising, businesses today often promote the idea that there is something new in their products. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and I think it is a positive development.
By emphasis the new features, brand scan increase their opportunity to staying ahead of their competitors. No matter what product a company sells, there are thousands of similar ones on the market that consumers can choose from. If the company does not advertise consumers that the product is innovative, it will just be one of the many out there. For example, if VinGroup does not introduce the newest features in VinFast electric cars, the costumers will never impressed about that products, so they will choose another brands like Tesla or Mercedes. That is very important to emphasis in advertising.
I think this is a positive development because consumers have new requirements that need to be satisfied. They can be more successful than other brands if they know how to emphasize and highlight their products
In conclusion, emphasizing the newness of their products in advertising is an effective way for staying ahead of their competitors. This is a positive development because new features can make customers satisfied


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In their advertising" -> "In their advertisements"
    Explanation: "Advertising" is a noun and should be pluralized to "advertisements" to match the context of multiple instances of advertising discussed in the essay.

  2. "often promote the idea that there is something new in their products" -> "frequently highlight the novelty of their products"
    Explanation: "Highlight the novelty of their products" is more precise and formal, avoiding the vague and informal "something new."

  3. "I think it is a positive development" -> "This is a beneficial development"
    Explanation: "This is a beneficial development" uses a more formal and assertive tone, suitable for academic writing.

  4. "By emphasis the new features" -> "By emphasizing new features"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error "By emphasis" to "By emphasizing" for proper verb form.

  5. "brand scan increase" -> "brands can increase"
    Explanation: Corrects the typo "brand scan" to "brands can" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.

  6. "staying ahead of their competitors" -> "maintaining a competitive edge"
    Explanation: "Maintaining a competitive edge" is a more formal and precise expression than "staying ahead of their competitors."

  7. "No matter what product a company sells" -> "regardless of the product a company offers"
    Explanation: "Regardless of the product a company offers" is more formal and precise than "No matter what product a company sells."

  8. "If the company does not advertise consumers that the product is innovative" -> "If the company fails to inform consumers of the product’s innovation"
    Explanation: "Fails to inform consumers of the product’s innovation" is more formal and precise than "does not advertise consumers that the product is innovative."

  9. "the costumers will never impressed about that products" -> "consumers will not be impressed with these products"
    Explanation: Corrects grammatical errors and uses "consumers" instead of "costumers" and "impressed about" to "impressed with" for correct preposition usage.

  10. "another brands" -> "other brands"
    Explanation: Corrects the typo "another brands" to "other brands" for grammatical accuracy.

  11. "That is very important to emphasis in advertising" -> "This is crucial to emphasize in advertising"
    Explanation: "This is crucial to emphasize" corrects the verb form and uses a more formal adverb "crucial" to enhance the academic tone.

  12. "I think this is a positive development" -> "This is a positive development"
    Explanation: Removes the informal "I think" for a more assertive and formal tone.

  13. "They can be more successful than other brands if they know how to emphasize and highlight their products" -> "They can gain a competitive advantage by effectively emphasizing and highlighting their products"
    Explanation: "Gain a competitive advantage by effectively emphasizing and highlighting their products" is more precise and formal, avoiding the vague "more successful."

  14. "emphasizing the newness of their products in advertising" -> "emphasizing the novelty of their products in their advertising"
    Explanation: "The novelty of their products in their advertising" corrects the possessive error and enhances clarity.

  15. "This is a positive development because new features can make customers satisfied" -> "This is a positive development as new features can satisfy customers"
    Explanation: "As new features can satisfy customers" corrects the grammatical structure and uses "satisfy" for a more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses why businesses emphasize new features in their advertising and expresses a personal opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. However, the explanation of why businesses focus on newness is somewhat superficial. The essay mentions competition and consumer choice but lacks depth in exploring the underlying reasons, such as technological advancement or consumer psychology. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the main points without fully synthesizing the discussion or providing a nuanced view of the implications of this trend.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should delve deeper into the reasons behind the emphasis on newness. This could include discussing consumer behavior, market trends, and the impact of innovation. Furthermore, the writer should clearly articulate their stance in the conclusion, possibly by acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of this trend.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that emphasizing new features is a positive development. However, this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. For instance, while the writer states their opinion early on, the supporting arguments primarily focus on the competitive aspect without adequately linking back to the positive implications for consumers or the market.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph ties back to the main argument. This can be achieved by explicitly linking the benefits of new features to consumer satisfaction and market dynamics in each supporting point. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help clarify the connection between the position and the supporting arguments.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as competition and consumer requirements, but these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the mention of VinGroup and its electric cars is a good attempt to provide an example, but it lacks a thorough explanation of how new features directly benefit consumers or enhance the brand’s image.
    • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. This could involve discussing specific features that consumers value, how these features meet their needs, and the broader implications for the market. Additionally, incorporating statistics or studies related to consumer preferences could strengthen the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons businesses emphasize newness and the writer’s opinion on the development. However, there are moments where the argument becomes vague, particularly in the second body paragraph, where the connection between new features and consumer satisfaction is not clearly articulated.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates to the prompt. This can be achieved by regularly referring back to the question and ensuring that all examples and arguments clearly support the main thesis. Additionally, avoiding vague statements and instead providing specific details will help keep the discussion on track.

Overall, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should focus on expanding their arguments, providing clearer examples, and ensuring that their position is consistently articulated throughout the essay. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by elaborating on ideas will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the main points that will be discussed, establishing a logical framework. However, the progression of ideas within the body could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing competition to consumer needs is somewhat abrupt and lacks a clear linking sentence that would guide the reader through the argument.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more explicitly. For example, after discussing competition, a sentence like "Furthermore, understanding consumer needs is equally crucial for businesses" could serve as a bridge to the next point. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the thesis can help maintain coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with a clear separation between the introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more effectively structured. The first body paragraph discusses competition, while the second introduces consumer needs, but they do not clearly delineate separate ideas or arguments. This can lead to confusion about the main points being made.
    • How to improve: Each body paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. Consider splitting the second body paragraph into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the importance of advertising for competition and the other on consumer needs. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve overall clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "in conclusion," which help guide the reader. However, the range of cohesive devices used is limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "that is very important to emphasis in advertising" lacks a clear connection to the preceding sentence, making it feel somewhat isolated.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases such as "additionally," "moreover," "on the other hand," and "consequently." This will not only enhance the flow of ideas but also clarify relationships between them. For example, when transitioning from discussing competition to consumer needs, you could use "Moreover, understanding consumer needs is essential for maintaining market relevance."

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some effective word choices such as "promote," "innovative," and "emphasizing." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "new" and "emphasize." For instance, the phrase "emphasizing the newness of their products" appears multiple times, which detracts from the overall lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "new," alternatives like "novel," "cutting-edge," or "state-of-the-art" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating phrases like "highlighting advancements" or "showcasing innovations" can enrich the text.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the costumers will never impressed about that products" contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The term "costumers" should be "customers," and "never impressed about" should be revised to "never be impressed by." Such inaccuracies can hinder clarity and effectiveness.
    • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Reviewing the essay for grammatical correctness and ensuring that phrases are idiomatic will improve precision. For example, instead of saying "they can be more successful than other brands," it might be clearer to say "they can outperform other brands." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises can also help in selecting the most appropriate words.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "emphasis" (should be "emphasizing"), "scan" (should be "can"), "costumers" (should be "customers"), and "another brands" (should be "other brands"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review the essay for spelling mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify errors. Additionally, keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary use, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that can enhance clarity and engagement. For example, the sentence "By emphasis the new features, brand scan increase their opportunity to staying ahead of their competitors" contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the use of phrases like "if the company does not advertise consumers that the product is innovative" shows a reliance on conditional structures without variation.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using relative clauses or participial phrases. For instance, instead of saying "If the company does not advertise consumers that the product is innovative," the writer could say, "If a company fails to advertise its innovative features, it risks becoming just another option in a saturated market." Practicing the use of various sentence types will enhance the essay’s overall flow and sophistication.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "By emphasis the new features" should be "By emphasizing the new features," indicating a misunderstanding of verb forms. Additionally, "brand scan increase their opportunity to staying ahead" should be corrected to "brands can increase their opportunities to stay ahead." There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could help clarify the meaning of sentences. For instance, "the costumers will never impressed about that products" should be "the customers will never be impressed by those products."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on verb tenses and agreement, will help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can enhance clarity. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes, allowing for corrections that improve overall readability.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion, there are significant areas for improvement in both grammatical range and accuracy. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In their advertising, businesses today often promote the idea that there is something new in their products. This essay will discuss the reasons for this trend, and I believe it is a positive development.

By emphasizing the new features, brands can increase their opportunities to stay ahead of their competitors. Regardless of the product a company offers, there are thousands of similar items on the market that consumers can choose from. If the company fails to inform consumers of the product’s innovation, it will simply blend in with the many others available. For example, if VinGroup does not introduce the newest features in VinFast electric cars, consumers will not be impressed with these products and may choose other brands like Tesla or Mercedes. This is crucial to emphasize in advertising.

I think this is a positive development because consumers have new requirements that need to be satisfied. Companies can be more successful than other brands if they effectively highlight and emphasize their products.

In conclusion, emphasizing the novelty of their products in advertising is an effective strategy for maintaining a competitive edge. This is a positive development, as new features can enhance customer satisfaction.

Bài viết liên quan

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này