Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that environmental protection can only be tackled by governments and big businesses instead of individuals. In my perspective, I do not agree with this assumption and in this essay, I will challenge this school of thought.

Admittedly, governments and corporations play a vital role in protecting the environment. Governments could enact laws to reduce many environmental problems, while some businesses also invest large amounts of money in sustainable development goals. Such activities were initially considered to have a powerful influence on our natural habitats, however, they could be ineffective without the commission to implement from residents. For example, in Vietnam, the government tries to raise the public’s awareness of environmental issues or imposes heavy fines on those who violate environmental laws. Nevertheless, some beaches and surrounding ecosystems have still been badly polluted by the sheer number of visitors. Therefore, I believe that there needs to be more actions taken by individuals in such situations.

It can be argued that individuals also have a significant contribution to the conservation of the environment from minimal things. Take the Netherlands as an example, citizens in this country are using bicycles and subway trains instead of cars in their daily activities. This can help reduce the tremendous amount of CO2 released into the air and improve air quality. In addition, nowadays young people have been taught about the importance of their environment so they apply their knowledge into practice by taking action. More specifically, the problem of polluted oceans has been tackled by groups of young people who voluntarily dedicate their time to cleaning up beaches and diving into water to pick up trash. For instance, students in Nha Trang spend their whole holiday time collecting all the rubbish from tourists and banning Chinese people from entering certain areas to prevent them from littering.

In conclusion, I disagree with the opinion that environmental issues can only be reduced by governments and large enterprises because individuals also need to make a significant contribution to the process of keeping the planet clean. In other words, this matter can only be dealt with by the simultaneous participation of governments, companies, and residents.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"In my perspective" -> "From my standpoint"
Explanation: "In my perspective" is a common phrase in colloquial speech, but in academic writing, it’s preferable to use more formal expressions like "From my standpoint" to maintain a professional tone.
"Admittedly" -> "Granted"
Explanation: While "admittedly" is not overly informal, "granted" is a more sophisticated alternative that fits well in academic discourse.
"activities were initially considered to have a powerful influence" -> "endeavors were initially deemed influential"
Explanation: "Activities" is a broad term; "endeavors" is more precise. "Considered to have a powerful influence" can be replaced with "deemed influential" for conciseness and clarity.
"without the commission to implement from residents" -> "without active participation from residents"
Explanation: "Commission to implement" is not the most appropriate phrase here. "Active participation" better conveys the idea of individuals taking action.
"Nevertheless" -> "However"
Explanation: "Nevertheless" is slightly less formal than "However," which is more commonly used in academic writing.
"more actions taken by individuals in such situations" -> "greater individual involvement in such scenarios"
Explanation: "More actions taken" is passive and less precise. "Greater individual involvement" is more direct and specific.
"It can be argued that individuals also have a significant contribution" -> "One could argue that individuals also significantly contribute"
Explanation: This revision makes the sentence more concise and formal by using "significantly contribute" instead of "have a significant contribution."
"from minimal things" -> "through small actions"
Explanation: "Minimal things" is a colloquial expression. "Small actions" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"Take the Netherlands as an example" -> "Consider the Netherlands as a case in point"
Explanation: "Take the Netherlands as an example" is somewhat informal. "Consider the Netherlands as a case in point" maintains formality and clarity.
"young people have been taught about the importance of their environment" -> "young people have been educated about environmental significance"
Explanation: "Taught about the importance of their environment" can be replaced with "educated about environmental significance" for a more formal tone.
"More specifically" -> "To be more precise"
Explanation: "More specifically" is slightly informal. "To be more precise" is a more suitable alternative in academic writing.
"tackled by groups of young people who voluntarily dedicate their time" -> "addressed by groups of young people who voluntarily devote their time"
Explanation: "Tackled" is a bit colloquial. "Addressed" is a more formal synonym. "Voluntarily dedicate their time" can be replaced with "voluntarily devote their time" for variety.
"cleaning up beaches and diving into water to pick up trash" -> "conducting beach cleanups and engaging in underwater trash retrieval"
Explanation: This revision maintains formality and clarity while providing a more detailed description of the activities.
"spend their whole holiday time collecting all the rubbish from tourists" -> "dedicate their entire holiday period to collecting refuse left by tourists"
Explanation: "Spend their whole holiday time collecting all the rubbish from tourists" can be rephrased for clarity and formality as "dedicate their entire holiday period to collecting refuse left by tourists."
"In conclusion" -> "To conclude"
Explanation: "In conclusion" is slightly overused. "To conclude" is a concise alternative commonly used in academic writing.
"keeping the planet clean" -> "preserving environmental cleanliness"
Explanation: "Keeping the planet clean" is a bit informal. "Preserving environmental cleanliness" is a more formal and precise alternative.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay thoroughly addresses all aspects of the prompt. It begins by presenting the writer’s disagreement with the notion that only governments and large companies can improve the environment. It then provides examples and arguments to support this position, discussing the roles of individuals alongside governmental and corporate actions.
- How to improve: The essay effectively covers all parts of the question. To further enhance the response, the writer could consider offering a brief preview of the main points to be discussed in each body paragraph to enhance clarity and structure.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout, asserting the importance of individual contributions alongside governmental and corporate efforts to address environmental issues. Each paragraph reinforces this position, providing examples and arguments to support the writer’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could consider explicitly stating the main argument in the introduction and concluding paragraphs. This would reinforce the essay’s coherence and ensure the reader is clear on the writer’s standpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas related to the role of individuals, governments, and corporations in environmental protection. Specific examples are provided to illustrate each point, such as governmental efforts in Vietnam and individual actions in the Netherlands and Nha Trang.
- How to improve: To further enhance the development of ideas, the writer could consider providing additional depth to the discussion of individual actions. This could involve exploring a wider range of examples or delving into the potential impact of collective individual efforts in various contexts.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the roles of individuals, governments, and large companies in environmental protection as prompted by the question. While it briefly mentions related issues such as pollution and sustainable development, these are directly relevant to the central theme.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer could ensure that all examples and arguments directly contribute to the discussion of individual versus governmental and corporate roles in environmental protection. This would help to streamline the essay’s content and prevent tangential discussions.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments and examples to support the writer’s viewpoint. By maintaining clarity, coherence, and relevance throughout, the essay achieves a Band Score of 8 for Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It follows a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different perspectives, and a conclusion. Each paragraph presents a coherent argument, building upon the previous one to strengthen the overall thesis. For instance, it starts by presenting the opposing viewpoint that governments and large companies are solely responsible for environmental protection, then progresses to argue against this view by presenting examples and counterarguments.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence clearly states the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. Additionally, consider using transition words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, providing a seamless flow of arguments.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize ideas and maintain coherence. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, such as the role of governments, businesses, and individuals in environmental protection. The structure within paragraphs is generally clear, with topic sentences introducing the main idea followed by supporting evidence and examples.
- How to improve: While the essay uses paragraphs appropriately, ensuring consistent paragraph lengths and avoiding overly long or short paragraphs could enhance readability. Additionally, pay attention to transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smooth transition of ideas and coherence throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. It employs cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., "admittedly," "nevertheless," "in addition," "in conclusion") and pronouns (e.g., "such activities," "it can be argued") to link sentences and paragraphs effectively. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used and integrating them more seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and adverbs, to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices within sentences to ensure they connect ideas logically and effectively, contributing to overall coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, encompassing various aspects of the topic. For instance, it employs terms such as "environmental protection," "sustainable development goals," "habitat," "awareness," "CO2," "polluted oceans," and "conservation." These terms effectively convey the nuances of the discussion, showcasing the writer’s ability to articulate ideas with lexical diversity.
- How to improve: While the vocabulary range is generally strong, incorporating more specialized terminology related to environmental science or policy could further enhance the depth of analysis. Additionally, varying the sentence structures and introducing idiomatic expressions or phrasal verbs would add richness to the language, making the essay even more engaging.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates precision in vocabulary usage, accurately conveying ideas without ambiguity. For example, phrases like "raise the public’s awareness," "imposes heavy fines," and "voluntarily dedicate their time" exhibit clear and specific language, contributing to the clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as the repeated use of "environmental issues" and "individuals." Employing synonyms or more specific terms would avoid redundancy and elevate the lexical precision.
- How to improve: To further enhance precision, consider replacing repetitive terms with synonyms or exploring nuanced vocabulary choices that capture subtle differences in meaning. Additionally, incorporating domain-specific terminology relevant to environmental studies could add depth and sophistication to the discussion.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of spelling accuracy, with few instances of errors. However, there are a couple of minor spelling mistakes, such as "commission" instead of "commitment" and "Nha Trang" not capitalized. These errors do not significantly detract from the overall readability of the essay but indicate the need for closer attention to detail in proofreading.
- How to improve: Employing spell-checking tools and allocating sufficient time for thorough proofreading can help mitigate spelling errors. Additionally, reviewing common spelling patterns and practicing spelling in context can reinforce accuracy and minimize mistakes in future writing endeavors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. It effectively employs introductory phrases, such as "Admittedly" and "It can be argued," to introduce different perspectives. Additionally, the writer employs rhetorical questions ("Take the Netherlands as an example") and parallel structures ("governments, companies, and residents") to add complexity and coherence to the essay.
- How to improve: To further enhance sentence variety, consider integrating more complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or inverted sentences, where appropriate. Additionally, vary the placement of phrases and clauses within sentences to create a smoother flow and avoid predictability.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation. Sentences are generally well-structured, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement is slightly off ("More specifically, the problem of polluted oceans has been tackled by groups of young people who voluntarily dedicate their time"). Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("In conclusion").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement throughout the essay. Review each sentence for clarity and correctness, ensuring that subjects and verbs match in number and tense. For punctuation, double-check the use of commas, especially before introductory phrases and in complex sentences, to enhance readability and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a prevalent notion suggesting that only governments and big corporations hold the power to address environmental concerns, sidelining the role of individuals. From my standpoint, I respectfully disagree with this assertion and aim to dissect it in this essay.

Granted, it is undeniable that governments and corporations wield significant influence in environmental protection. Governments can enact laws to mitigate environmental issues, and certain businesses invest substantial sums in sustainable development endeavors. However, such endeavors were initially deemed influential without active participation from residents. Take Vietnam, for instance, where the government endeavors to raise public awareness and impose hefty fines for environmental violations. Despite these efforts, some beaches and surrounding ecosystems remain severely polluted due to the unchecked influx of visitors. Thus, it becomes evident that greater individual involvement is imperative in such scenarios.

However, greater individual involvement in such scenarios. However, it’s noteworthy that individuals also play a crucial role in environmental conservation through small actions. Consider the Netherlands as a case in point. Citizens in this country opt for bicycles and subway trains over cars in their daily endeavors, effectively curbing CO2 emissions and enhancing air quality. To be more precise, young people have been educated about environmental significance, translating their knowledge into tangible actions. Addressing the issue of ocean pollution, groups of young individuals voluntarily devote their time to conducting beach cleanups and engaging in underwater trash retrieval. For instance, students in Nha Trang dedicate their entire holiday period to collecting refuse left by tourists, even taking measures to restrict certain areas to prevent littering.

To conclude, I firmly contend that preserving environmental cleanliness cannot be solely entrusted to governments and large enterprises. Individuals also significantly contribute through their actions. Thus, a collaborative effort involving governments, companies, and residents is essential in tackling environmental challenges effectively.