Intelligence is the most important quality for a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been argued that cleverness is the most crucial quality for a chief director. I do not complety agree with this viewpoint, and I will ẽplain why in my essay.
Intellectual ability is crucial because it allows commanders to think and make decisions critically and rationally. Holding an elevated position in an organization or a company, leaders have a duty and right to come to decisions about strategies and policies or weigh up the pros and cons whenever a new move is made. However, it has a drawback. Intelligence can serve an abysmal purpose, such as misusing company resources for self-dealing or engaging in financial misconduct. For instance, in a construction company, a project manager might accept bribes from suppliers to use their materials, even if they are not of the best quality. Instead of choosing the safest and most reliable materials, the manager decides on mediocre options that may lead to safety issues. This corruption not only harms the project but also puts workers and customers at risk.

In addition to intellectual capacity, a few other components are crucial for leaders, namely communication skills and work management. Firstly, effective communication skills enable leaders to build trust and respect among their teams, which is essential for fostering a positive work environment. When leaders communicate clearly and transparently, team members feel valued and understood, leading to higher morale and motivation. Secondly, work management is essential for leaders to achieve their team's goals. For instance, a project manager in a construction company needs to create a detailed timeline for each phase of a project. By prioritizing tasks, such as completing the foundation before starting on the walls, the leader ensures that the project stays on schedule.

In conclusion, I do totally concur with this point of view, as leaders need other skills, such as commuincation skills and work management.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"cleverness" -> "intellectual acuity"
Explanation: "Intellectual acuity" is a more precise and formal term that better captures the intended meaning of high-level cognitive abilities, aligning with academic style more closely than "cleverness."
"complety" -> "completely"
Explanation: "Completely" is the correct spelling, enhancing the professionalism and accuracy of the text.
"I will ẽplain" -> "I will explain"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "ẽplain" to "explain" ensures the text is free of errors and maintains its academic integrity.
"come to decisions" -> "make decisions"
Explanation: "Make decisions" is the correct idiomatic expression, enhancing the natural flow and clarity of the sentence.
"weigh up the pros and cons" -> "assess the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Assess the advantages and disadvantages" is a more formal and precise way to describe evaluating the positive and negative aspects of a situation.
"abysmal purpose" -> "perverse purpose"
Explanation: "Perverse" is a more appropriate adjective to describe something that is morally wrong or contrary to what is considered right or proper, fitting the context better than "abysmal," which typically means extremely bad or of very poor quality.
"misusing company resources" -> "misusing company resources for personal gain"
Explanation: Adding "for personal gain" clarifies the context and specifies the misuse of resources, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"engage in financial misconduct" -> "engage in financial malfeasance"
Explanation: "Financial malfeasance" is a more formal and specific term that accurately describes illegal or unethical financial activities, aligning better with academic language.
"Instead of choosing the safest and most reliable materials" -> "Rather than selecting the safest and most reliable materials"
Explanation: "Rather than selecting" is a more formal and precise way to express the alternative choice, improving the academic tone.
"I do totally concur" -> "I fully concur"
Explanation: "Fully concur" is a more formal expression than "totally concur," aligning better with academic writing standards.
"commuincation skills" -> "communication skills"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "commuincation" to "communication" ensures the text is free of errors and maintains professionalism.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating a partial agreement with the assertion that intelligence is the most important quality for a leader. The author acknowledges the importance of intelligence but argues that other qualities, such as communication skills and work management, are equally vital. However, the response could be more balanced; while the author mentions the drawbacks of intelligence, the essay does not sufficiently elaborate on why intelligence is still important, which could leave the reader wanting a more comprehensive exploration of both sides.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed. This could involve providing more examples of how intelligence contributes positively to leadership, alongside the negative implications discussed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that while intelligence is important, it is not the only quality that matters for leaders. However, the conclusion states, "I do totally concur with this point of view," which contradicts the earlier assertion of partial agreement. This inconsistency can confuse the reader regarding the author’s stance.
- How to improve: The author should maintain a consistent position throughout the essay. A clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a conclusion that reiterates the nuanced view (that intelligence is important but not the sole quality) would help reinforce the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, including the importance of intelligence, communication skills, and work management. Each idea is supported with examples, such as the project manager accepting bribes, which illustrates the potential misuse of intelligence. However, the development of these ideas could be deeper; for instance, the discussion on communication skills and work management is somewhat brief and lacks specific examples that illustrate their importance in leadership.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should aim to extend their ideas further by providing more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, discussing how effective communication can lead to successful project outcomes would add depth to that point.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the qualities of a leader in relation to intelligence. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, while the example of the project manager is relevant, it could be more explicitly connected back to the argument about intelligence versus other qualities.
- How to improve: The author should ensure that every example and point made directly ties back to the central argument. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each point to the question of whether intelligence is the most important quality for a leader, reinforcing the relevance of each idea presented.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, addressing the outlined areas for improvement could enhance clarity, depth, and overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that intelligence is the most important quality for a leader. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs follow a logical progression. The first paragraph discusses the importance of intelligence, while the second paragraph introduces additional qualities that are equally important. However, the transition between the two main ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing intelligence to communication skills lacks a clear linking sentence that would help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas. For instance, after discussing the drawbacks of intelligence, a sentence like "Nevertheless, while intelligence is important, it is not the only quality that defines effective leadership" could provide a clearer transition to the next point.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph addresses intelligence, while the second discusses communication skills and work management. However, the conclusion is somewhat abrupt and does not effectively summarize the key points made in the body paragraphs. Additionally, the conclusion contains a grammatical error ("I do totally concur"), which detracts from its effectiveness.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main arguments presented in the essay. For example, you could restate that while intelligence is valuable, communication skills and work management are equally critical for successful leadership. Also, ensure grammatical accuracy to maintain professionalism in your writing.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," and "in addition to." These devices help connect ideas and provide examples. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the essay could benefit from more varied linking words or phrases to enhance cohesion. For example, the phrase "this corruption not only harms the project but also puts workers and customers at risk" could be improved by adding a transitional phrase that links it back to the previous point about intelligence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words such as "furthermore," "moreover," "consequently," and "on the other hand." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a greater command of language. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to clarify relationships between ideas, making the argument easier to follow.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in transitions, conclusion effectiveness, and the variety of cohesive devices used could elevate the overall coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "intellectual ability," "critical," "strategies," and "communication skills." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "leader" and "manager" multiple times without variation. The phrase "abysmal purpose" is an attempt at a more sophisticated expression but feels awkward in context.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "leader," you could incorporate terms like "executive," "director," or "team leader." Additionally, explore more nuanced vocabulary to express ideas, such as using "malfeasance" instead of "misusing company resources."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are notable inaccuracies. For instance, "cleverness" is less formal than "intelligence," which may not align with the essay’s tone. The phrase "holding an elevated position" is somewhat vague and could be more precise. Additionally, "do totally concur" is an informal expression that detracts from the essay’s overall formality.
- How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that best fit the context. Replace "cleverness" with "intelligence" for a more formal tone. Instead of "holding an elevated position," consider "occupying a senior leadership role." Furthermore, use "fully agree" instead of "do totally concur" to maintain formality.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "complety" (should be "completely"), "ẽplain" (should be "explain"), and "commuincation" (should be "communication"). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing the essay, take a break and then review it with fresh eyes. Additionally, using spell-check tools or writing software can help catch errors. Regular practice with vocabulary lists and spelling exercises can also reinforce correct spelling habits.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, enhancing both clarity and sophistication in vocabulary usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "Holding an elevated position in an organization or a company, leaders have a duty and right to come to decisions about strategies and policies" showcases an attempt to incorporate varied structures. However, many sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that could enhance the overall quality. For example, "Intellectual ability is crucial because it allows commanders to think and make decisions critically and rationally" is straightforward but could be expanded with additional clauses to add depth.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider using more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses or varying the sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of starting with "Intellectual ability is crucial," you could begin with a dependent clause: "Because intellectual ability is crucial, leaders are better equipped to…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical and punctuation errors that detract from clarity and coherence. For example, "complety" should be "completely," and "ẽplain" should be "explain." Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. The phrase "However, it has a drawback" is vague and could be more precise with additional context.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for spelling errors and ensure that all sentences are grammatically complete. Practicing punctuation rules, especially for compound and complex sentences, can also help. For instance, using commas to separate clauses can improve readability. Consider revising sentences for clarity, such as rephrasing "However, it has a drawback" to "However, there are drawbacks to relying solely on intelligence."

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It has been argued that intelligence is the most crucial quality for a leader. I do not completely agree with this viewpoint, and I will explain why in my essay.

Intellectual acuity is important because it allows leaders to think critically and make decisions rationally. Holding an elevated position in an organization or a company, leaders have the duty and right to assess the advantages and disadvantages of various strategies and policies whenever a new move is made. However, this quality can also have a perverse purpose. For instance, intelligence can lead to misusing company resources for personal gain or engaging in financial malfeasance. In a construction company, for example, a project manager might accept bribes from suppliers to use their materials, even if they are not of the best quality. Rather than selecting the safest and most reliable materials, the manager may opt for mediocre options that could lead to safety issues. This corruption not only harms the project but also puts workers and customers at risk.

In addition to intellectual capacity, several other components are crucial for leaders, namely communication skills and work management. Firstly, effective communication skills enable leaders to build trust and respect among their teams, which is essential for fostering a positive work environment. When leaders communicate clearly and transparently, team members feel valued and understood, leading to higher morale and motivation. Secondly, work management is essential for leaders to achieve their team’s goals. For instance, a project manager in a construction company needs to create a detailed timeline for each phase of a project. By prioritizing tasks, such as completing the foundation before starting on the walls, the leader ensures that the project stays on schedule.

In conclusion, I fully concur that while intelligence is important, leaders also need other skills, such as communication skills and effective work management, to be truly successful.