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It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening.
Do you agree or disagree?

The demise of species, as exemplified by prehistoric creatures, is often perceived as an inexorable natural process, rendering conservation efforts superfluous. Nonetheless, I unequivocally contest the assertion that there are no grounds for human intervention to forestall these events.
Paramount to this argument is the indispensable role of biodiversity in upholding ecological health. Each species is a crucial component in the ecological apparatus, contributing to fundamental processes such as pollination and nutrient cycling. The eradication of even a single species can instigate a ripple effect, leading to considerable disruptions in the ecosystem. For instance, the diminution of a specific bee species can result in the attenuated pollination of certain plants, which can negatively impact the animals that rely on those plants for sustenance. This interdependence underscores the imperative of preserving each species to maintain ecological equilibrium and stability.
Furthermore, the expedited rate of species extinction in contemporary times is largely ascribable to human activities, setting it apart from natural historical events. Practices such as deforestation, pollution, and contributions to climate change have precipitated a crisis for various species. This situation epitomizes the pressing need for human accountability and intervention to ameliorate the damage inflicted by our actions and to safeguard the residual biodiversity.
In conclusion, my resolute disagreement with the perspective that animal extinctions should be left unaddressed stems from the paramount importance of biodiversity and the undeniable repercussions of human activities on the natural world. It is our obligation to mitigate these effects and actively participate in conservation endeavors.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "the demise of species" -> "the extinction of species"
    Explanation: Replacing "demise" with "extinction" provides a more precise and scientifically accurate term commonly used in academic contexts when discussing the disappearance of species.

  2. "rendering conservation efforts superfluous" -> "rendering conservation efforts unnecessary"
    Explanation: Substituting "superfluous" with "unnecessary" maintains the formality of the sentence while using a more commonly accepted term in academic writing.

  3. "unequivocally contest" -> "firmly challenge"
    Explanation: Replacing "unequivocally contest" with "firmly challenge" preserves the assertiveness of the statement while using a more standard and academically appropriate phrase.

  4. "paramount to this argument" -> "central to this argument"
    Explanation: Changing "paramount to" to "central to" maintains the emphasis on the importance of biodiversity while using a more conventional expression in academic writing.

  5. "indispensable role" -> "essential role"
    Explanation: Substituting "indispensable" with "essential" retains the emphasis on the importance of biodiversity while using a more commonly employed term in formal writing.

  6. "considerable disruptions" -> "significant disruptions"
    Explanation: Replacing "considerable" with "significant" maintains the strength of the statement while choosing a more academically conventional term.

  7. "instigate a ripple effect" -> "initiate a ripple effect"
    Explanation: Changing "instigate" to "initiate" preserves the meaning while opting for a more standard term in academic writing.

  8. "diminution of a specific bee species" -> "decline of a particular bee species"
    Explanation: Substituting "diminution" with "decline" maintains precision and formality, avoiding a less common term in academic writing.

  9. "attenuated pollination" -> "reduced pollination"
    Explanation: Replacing "attenuated" with "reduced" maintains clarity and uses a more straightforward term in the context of pollination.

  10. "negatively impact" -> "adversely affect"
    Explanation: Changing "negatively impact" to "adversely affect" introduces a more formal expression while conveying the detrimental consequences on animals more precisely.

  11. "contemporary times" -> "the present era"
    Explanation: Substituting "contemporary times" with "the present era" maintains formality and avoids a potentially less formal expression.

  12. "largely ascribable to" -> "largely attributable to"
    Explanation: Replacing "largely ascribable to" with "largely attributable to" uses a more formal and widely accepted term in academic writing.

  13. "precipitated a crisis" -> "precipitated a critical situation"
    Explanation: Changing "precipitated a crisis" to "precipitated a critical situation" maintains the gravity of the statement while employing a more academically suitable term.

  14. "epitomizes the pressing need" -> "exemplifies the urgent necessity"
    Explanation: Substituting "epitomizes the pressing need" with "exemplifies the urgent necessity" enhances formality and precision in expressing the urgency of the situation.

  15. "animal extinctions" -> "species extinctions"
    Explanation: Replacing "animal extinctions" with "species extinctions" ensures a broader and more accurate term, encompassing a variety of organisms affected by extinction events.

  16. "left unaddressed" -> "left unmitigated"
    Explanation: Changing "left unaddressed" to "left unmitigated" maintains the sense of being unresolved while using a more formal term in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. It acknowledges the natural process of species extinction and firmly opposes the idea that there is no reason for human intervention. The introduction sets the stage by presenting the opposing view, and the subsequent paragraphs delve into the reasons supporting human intervention.
    • How to Improve: No significant improvements are needed in this aspect. The essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt comprehensively.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. The author unequivocally contests the idea that there is no reason for human intervention. Each paragraph contributes to reinforcing this stance, with well-articulated arguments and examples supporting the necessity of human intervention.
    • How to Improve: The clarity and consistency of the position are commendable. However, to enhance the essay further, consider reinforcing the thesis in the conclusion, summarizing key points that support the argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas effectively. The argument is well-developed, with examples such as the impact of species extinction on pollination and ecosystem stability. Each point is elaborated upon logically, providing a thorough exploration of the topic.
    • How to Improve: To further enhance idea development, consider providing additional real-world examples or case studies that illustrate the consequences of human activities on specific species or ecosystems.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed Explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, maintaining a focus on the reasons for human intervention in preventing animal extinctions. There are no significant deviations from the main theme.
    • How to Improve: To ensure continued relevance, double-check the content of each paragraph to verify that it directly contributes to the central argument. Consider eliminating any tangential points that do not strengthen the overall thesis.

In conclusion, the essay has performed admirably in addressing the Task Response criteria, earning a well-deserved Band Score of 8. The thoughtful development of ideas, clarity in presenting a consistent position, and relevance to the topic contribute to the essay’s overall strength. To further enhance the essay, consider reinforcing the thesis in the conclusion and exploring additional real-world examples for idea development.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction sets up the argument by addressing the natural process of species extinction and the need for human intervention. The body paragraphs follow a clear progression, first emphasizing the role of biodiversity and then discussing the human impact on species extinction. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reinforces the author’s stance.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a more explicit roadmap in the introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. This can help guide the reader through the essay more efficiently.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph contains a clear central idea and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. Transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, contributing to overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph maintains a unified focus on a specific aspect of the argument. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures for added stylistic flair.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs a variety of cohesive devices. Transition words and phrases (e.g., "nonetheless," "paramount," "Furthermore," "In conclusion") guide the reader through the different sections of the essay. Pronouns and parallel structures enhance coherence within sentences.
    • How to improve: While the essay already uses cohesive devices well, consider incorporating a greater variety of linking words and transitions to add nuance and depth to the connections between ideas. This can contribute to a more sophisticated and cohesive essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles. To enhance the score further, focus on providing a clearer roadmap in the introduction, refining paragraph unity, and diversifying cohesive devices for a more nuanced connection between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, employing diverse and sophisticated language throughout. For example, phrases such as "inexorable natural process," "paramount to this argument," and "expedited rate of species extinction" showcase a strong command of vocabulary. The use of specific terms like "ecological apparatus" and "interdependence" adds depth to the discussion.
    • How to improve: While the vocabulary is rich, consider incorporating more domain-specific terms related to ecology and conservation to enhance precision. Additionally, vary the complexity of sentence structures to further showcase linguistic versatility.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying nuanced ideas. Instances such as "fundamental processes such as pollination and nutrient cycling" demonstrate accurate word choice. However, in some places, a slight lack of precision is observed, such as the use of "diminution" where "decrease" might convey the idea more directly.
    • How to improve: Be vigilant about selecting the most precise words. For instance, instead of "diminution," consider using simpler alternatives like "decrease" or "reduction" when appropriate to enhance clarity without compromising sophistication.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no discernible errors. Each word is spelled correctly, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: Maintain this meticulous approach to spelling. As a precaution, consider revisiting commonly misspelled words or words with multiple acceptable spellings to ensure consistent accuracy.

Overall, the essay showcases an advanced lexical resource, with a broad vocabulary and generally precise word choice. The suggestions for improvement focus on refining precision in vocabulary and maintaining the already exemplary spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. The writer skillfully employs complex sentences, such as the one in the introduction, using phrases like "unequivocally contest" and "rendering conservation efforts superfluous." Additionally, throughout the essay, there is an effective mix of compound and complex sentences, contributing to a sophisticated and nuanced expression of ideas. The use of transitional phrases is evident, aiding in the coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the richness of sentence structures, consider incorporating a few more complex compound sentences. Additionally, experiment with the use of rhetorical devices like parallelism or varied sentence lengths to add stylistic flair. Ensure that the complexity aligns with the context to maintain clarity.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy. The complex sentence structures are handled adeptly, and there are minimal grammatical errors. Punctuation, including commas and semicolons, is used effectively to convey meaning and maintain clarity. However, there is a slight tendency to use long sentences, and in a few instances, some sentences could benefit from being broken down for improved readability.
    • How to improve: While maintaining the current level of complexity, be mindful of sentence length. Consider breaking down lengthy sentences into more digestible parts, ensuring that each segment contributes to the overall coherence. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement in complex sentences to avoid potential confusion. Always prioritize clarity, especially in intricate sentence structures.

In conclusion, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, contributing significantly to the overall effectiveness of the response. The suggestions provided aim to refine the existing strengths further, ensuring an even more polished and sophisticated expression of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The extinction of species, illustrated by the disappearance of dinosaurs in ancient times, is commonly viewed as a natural process that makes conservation efforts seem unnecessary. However, I firmly challenge the idea that there is no reason for human intervention to prevent these occurrences.

Central to this argument is the essential role of biodiversity in maintaining ecological health. Every species plays a crucial part in the ecological system, contributing to vital processes like pollination and nutrient cycling. The loss of even one species can initiate a ripple effect, causing significant disruptions in the ecosystem. For example, the decline of a particular bee species can lead to reduced pollination of specific plants, adversely affecting animals that depend on those plants for sustenance. This interconnectedness highlights the urgent necessity of preserving each species to uphold ecological balance and stability.

Moreover, the present era witnesses an accelerated rate of species extinction, largely attributable to human activities, setting it apart from natural historical events. Practices such as deforestation, pollution, and contributions to climate change have precipitated a critical situation for various species. This situation exemplifies the urgent necessity for human accountability and intervention to ameliorate the damage caused by our actions and to safeguard the remaining biodiversity.

In conclusion, my strong disagreement with the perspective that animal extinctions should be left unmitigated arises from the paramount importance of biodiversity and the undeniable repercussions of human activities on the natural world. It is our responsibility to mitigate these effects and actively participate in conservation endeavors.

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