It is believed that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary landscape, the influence of news media on people's lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making

The negative influence of news media is evident in its potential to sensationalize information and perpetuate a culture of fear. The exaggeration of certain events, driven by the quest for higher ratings and increased readership, can distort the presentation of facts. For instance, in early 2023, the information about a minor strike that took place in New Delhi was blown out of proportion by the media, resulting in thousands of dollars wasted on damage control. This indicates how news' distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, amplifying the impact on public perception.

On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the media acts as a catalyst for social change, shedding light on critical issues such as human rights abuses, environmental concerns, and public health crises. An illustrative example is the media's role in raising awareness about children's rights violations. As several cases of domestic child abuse were brought to light by the media, the mobilisation of public support was catalysed, prompting positive societal changes all around the world.

In conclusion, while the news media's influence on people's lives carries both negative and positive dimensions, fostering media literacy and encouraging ethical reporting practices can mitigate the adverse effects. A well-informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while guarding against its potential pitfalls.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"undeniably pervasive" -> "undeniably widespread"
Explanation: Replacing "undeniably pervasive" with "undeniably widespread" maintains the emphasis on the extensive reach of news media while using a more formal and precise term.
"sparking debates about its overall impact" -> "prompting discussions regarding its overall impact"
Explanation: Substituting "sparking debates" with "prompting discussions" provides a more formal expression, aligning with academic language and avoiding the colloquial tone of "sparking debates."
"I contend that" -> "I argue that"
Explanation: Replacing "I contend that" with "I argue that" retains the author’s assertion while employing a more conventional and academically appropriate term.
"delving into the impact" -> "examining the impact"
Explanation: Substituting "delving into" with "examining" maintains clarity and formality, avoiding the somewhat informal connotation of "delving into."
"predominantly negative" -> "largely detrimental"
Explanation: Replacing "predominantly negative" with "largely detrimental" enhances the precision of language, offering a more specific description of the negative impact of news media.
"adverse and beneficial aspects" -> "negative and positive facets"
Explanation: Using "negative and positive facets" instead of "adverse and beneficial aspects" provides a more formal and concise expression, in line with academic writing conventions.
"distort the presentation of facts" -> "misrepresent the presentation of facts"
Explanation: Substituting "distort" with "misrepresent" maintains the critical tone while using a more formal term for describing the manipulation of information.
"blown out of proportion" -> "exaggerated"
Explanation: Replacing "blown out of proportion" with "exaggerated" conveys the same idea in a more straightforward and formal manner, aligning with academic style.
"dollars wasted on damage control" -> "financial resources expended on damage control"
Explanation: Substituting "dollars wasted" with "financial resources expended" enhances formality and precision, avoiding casual language in an academic context.
"shedding light on critical issues" -> "highlighting critical issues"
Explanation: Replacing "shedding light on" with "highlighting" maintains clarity while using a more direct and academically appropriate expression.
"illustrative example" -> "exemplary case"
Explanation: Substituting "illustrative example" with "exemplary case" adds a touch of formality to the language without sacrificing clarity.
"raising awareness about children’s rights violations" -> "raising awareness of violations of children’s rights"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase to "raising awareness of violations of children’s rights" provides a more formal and grammatically correct expression.
"public support was catalyzed" -> "public support was mobilized"
Explanation: Replacing "catalyzed" with "mobilized" maintains the idea of stimulating public support while using a more formal and widely accepted term.
"potential pitfalls" -> "potential drawbacks"
Explanation: Substituting "potential pitfalls" with "potential drawbacks" maintains the meaning while using a more formal and precise term in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Quoted text: "While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good. However, to enhance the clarity of your stance and improve coherence, consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay. This can provide a roadmap for the reader and strengthen the overall structure.
- Improved example: "While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will discuss the adverse impact of sensationalism and highlight the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making."
Quoted text: "The exaggeration of certain events, driven by the quest for higher ratings and increased readership, can distort the presentation of facts."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: You effectively address the negative aspect of sensationalism. To strengthen your argument, consider providing a specific example of sensationalized news and its consequences, drawing from your own knowledge or experience. This will make your point more compelling and illustrate the real-world impact.
- Improved example: "The exaggeration of certain events, such as the media’s sensational coverage of a minor strike in New Delhi in early 2023, driven by the quest for higher ratings and increased readership, not only distorted the presentation of facts but also resulted in thousands of dollars wasted on damage control."
Quoted text: "This indicates how news’ distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, amplifying the impact on public perception."
- Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your point about the impact of news distortion is well-made. To further strengthen this, consider elaborating on how the dissemination of misinformation can lead to negative consequences, such as public panic or the erosion of trust in media. Providing additional depth to your argument will enhance its persuasiveness.
- Improved example: "This indicates how news’ distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, amplifying the impact on public perception. The spread of inaccurate information not only fosters public panic but also erodes trust in media organizations, undermining their crucial role in society."

Overall, your essay effectively addresses both the positive and negative aspects of news media influence. Strengthening specific examples and providing a clear roadmap in the introduction can enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of your argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. There is a balanced exploration of both the negative and positive aspects of news media influence. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, though there may be some under-/over-use. The essay effectively presents a clear central topic within each paragraph.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the balance between negative and positive aspects for a more seamless transition between ideas. Ensure a consistent and appropriate use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Additionally, focus on maintaining a consistent tone and style to avoid potential distractions for the reader. Overall, a cohesive and logically organized essay with room for minor refinements.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, utilizing a wide range of words with fluency and precision. There is an evident effort to incorporate uncommon lexical items, contributing to a sophisticated presentation of ideas. The essay maintains a strong level of control over word choice and collocation, with only occasional inaccuracies that do not significantly impede communication. The use of examples, such as the incident in New Delhi, showcases a nuanced understanding of vocabulary application, adding depth to the argument. Overall, the lexical resource is a notable strength of this essay.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource further, consider incorporating a more varied sentence structure and experimenting with diverse syntactical constructions. Additionally, strive for absolute precision in word choice to eliminate any minor inaccuracies. Ensure that the vocabulary aligns seamlessly with the context, thereby elevating the overall coherence and sophistication of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of grammatical structures, showcasing complex sentences alongside varied sentence forms. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not hinder overall comprehension. The essay effectively uses punctuation and grammar to convey ideas clearly and cohesively.

How to improve: To enhance the score further, consider refining the use of more sophisticated sentence structures and ensuring meticulous attention to minor errors, although they do not significantly impede understanding. Additionally, aim for absolute accuracy in grammar and punctuation to consistently maintain the high standard observed throughout the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present-day landscape, the impact of news media on individuals’ lives is undoubtedly widespread, leading to discussions regarding its overall effect. Some argue that this influence is largely detrimental, but I argue that the effects of news media are varied. In this essay, I will explore both the negative and positive facets, examining the impact of sensationalism and the beneficial role of media in aiding informed decision-making.

The negative influence of news media is evident in its potential to exaggerate information and foster a culture of fear. The amplification of certain events, driven by the pursuit of higher ratings and increased readership, can misrepresent the presentation of facts. For instance, in early 2023, information about a minor strike in New Delhi was exaggerated by the media, resulting in a considerable amount of financial resources expended on damage control. This highlights how distortion by the news media contributes to the spread of misinformation, significantly affecting public perception.

On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Additionally, the media serves as a catalyst for social change, highlighting critical issues such as human rights abuses, environmental concerns, and public health crises. An exemplary case is the media’s role in raising awareness of violations of children’s rights. As numerous cases of domestic child abuse were brought to light by the media, it mobilized public support, prompting positive societal changes globally.

In conclusion, while the influence of news media on people’s lives encompasses both negative and positive aspects, enhancing media literacy and promoting ethical reporting practices can mitigate the adverse effects. An informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while safeguarding against its potential drawbacks.