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It is believed that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that the news media has influenced people’s lives nowadays and it is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary landscape, the influence of news media on people's lives is undeniably pervasive, sparking debates about its overall impact. While some argue that this influence is predominantly negative, I contend that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making

The negative influence of news media is evident in its potential to sensationalize information and perpetuate a culture of fear. For instance, the exaggeration of certain events, driven by the quest for higher ratings and increased readership, can distort the presentation of facts. This distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, amplifying the impact on public perception.

On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the media acts as a catalyst for social change, shedding light on critical issues such as human rights abuses, environmental concerns, and public health crises. An illustrative example is the media's role in raising awareness about a specific human rights violation, mobilizing public support and prompting positive societal changes.

In conclusion, while the news media's influence on people's lives carries both negative and positive dimensions, fostering media literacy and encouraging ethical reporting practices can mitigate the adverse effects. A well-informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while guarding against its potential pitfalls.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "undeniably pervasive" -> "undeniably widespread"
    Explanation: Replacing "undeniably pervasive" with "undeniably widespread" maintains a formal tone while offering a more precise term for expressing the extensive reach of news media influence.

  2. "sparking debates" -> "prompting discussions"
    Explanation: Substituting "sparking debates" with "prompting discussions" maintains the idea of initiating conversations but in a more formal and refined manner.

  3. "I contend that" -> "I argue that"
    Explanation: Replacing "I contend that" with "I argue that" is a more direct and commonly used phrase in academic writing, enhancing the formality of the statement.

  4. "delving into" -> "examining"
    Explanation: Changing "delving into" to "examining" provides a more formal and precise alternative, aligning better with academic language.

  5. "adverse and beneficial aspects" -> "negative and positive facets"
    Explanation: Substituting "adverse and beneficial aspects" with "negative and positive facets" maintains clarity while using a more formal and nuanced expression.

  6. "For instance" -> "For example"
    Explanation: Replacing "For instance" with "For example" is a subtle change that aligns with academic writing conventions, offering a more standard transition.

  7. "driven by the quest for higher ratings" -> "motivated by the pursuit of increased viewership"
    Explanation: Changing "driven by the quest for higher ratings" to "motivated by the pursuit of increased viewership" adds formality and precision to the description of media behavior.

  8. "distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation" -> "distortion contributes to the spread of inaccurate information"
    Explanation: Substituting "dissemination of misinformation" with "spread of inaccurate information" maintains the meaning while using more straightforward and formal language.

  9. "shedding light on critical issues" -> "highlighting crucial concerns"
    Explanation: Replacing "shedding light on critical issues" with "highlighting crucial concerns" maintains the impact while offering a more formal and refined expression.

  10. "An illustrative example is" -> "An illustrative instance is"
    Explanation: Changing "An illustrative example is" to "An illustrative instance is" maintains the formality of the phrase, providing a slightly more sophisticated alternative.

  11. "raising awareness" -> "cultivating awareness"
    Explanation: Substituting "raising awareness" with "cultivating awareness" maintains the idea of increasing awareness while introducing a more formal term.

  12. "mitigate the adverse effects" -> "alleviate the negative repercussions"
    Explanation: Replacing "mitigate the adverse effects" with "alleviate the negative repercussions" maintains the meaning while using a more formal and precise expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In this essay, I will explore both the adverse and beneficial aspects, delving into the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in fostering informed decision-making."

    • Explanation and Improvement suggestion: The introduction does a good job outlining the essay’s intention to discuss both positive and negative aspects of news media. To improve, consider briefly summarizing these aspects to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader. For instance, mention specific points or examples you’ll address under each dimension to guide the essay’s flow more explicitly.
    • Improved example: "In this essay, I will explore the adverse effects of sensationalism in news media, highlighting how it distorts information. Additionally, I’ll delve into the positive role of media, emphasizing its contribution to fostering informed decision-making through examples of accountability and social change."
  2. Quoted text: "This distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, amplifying the impact on public perception."

    • Explanation and Improvement suggestion: While addressing the negative impact of sensationalism, providing a specific example or case study would bolster your argument and enhance clarity. For instance, citing a well-known instance where misinformation from sensationalized news significantly altered public perception would strengthen your point.
    • Improved example: "This distortion contributes to the dissemination of misinformation, such as the XYZ incident where exaggerated news reports led to widespread misconceptions, altering public perception and creating unnecessary fear."

Overall, your essay presents a balanced view of the news media’s influence, discussing both positive and negative aspects. However, enhancing the clarity and depth of your examples can further solidify your arguments. Also, remember to maintain a consistent focus on both dimensions throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, earning it a Band 8 score. The author effectively sequences information and ideas logically, providing a clear structure to the essay. The introduction sets the stage for a balanced discussion, and each subsequent paragraph contributes to a well-organized progression of thoughts. The use of cohesive devices is skillful, maintaining a smooth flow throughout the essay. The transition between paragraphs is seamless, and there is a clear central topic within each paragraph. The essay skillfully manages paragraphing, contributing to the overall coherence.

How to Improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider reinforcing the explicit linkages between ideas and arguments within and between paragraphs. While the essay already excels in these aspects, ensuring a meticulous connection between every point and the thesis statement can elevate the overall coherence. Additionally, carefully reviewing and refining the use of cohesive devices can eliminate any subtle under- or overuse, contributing to an even more polished and cohesive essay. Overall, maintaining the current level of proficiency while fine-tuning these aspects will lead to further improvements.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, utilizing a broad range of words with fluency and flexibility. The writer effectively conveys precise meanings, showcasing skillful use of uncommon lexical items. The essay maintains a high level of control over lexical features, with rare minor errors occurring only as ‘slips.’ The vocabulary chosen is sophisticated and natural, contributing to the overall coherence and depth of the essay.

The candidate employs vocabulary relevant to the topic, seamlessly integrating it into the essay’s structure. The use of terms such as "sensationalize," "distortion," "dissemination of misinformation," "media literacy," and "ethical reporting practices" indicates a nuanced understanding of the subject matter. Additionally, the writer effectively uses less common lexical items, contributing to the overall richness of expression.

Occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation are present, but these are minimal and do not significantly detract from the overall lexical quality of the essay. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with rare errors that do not impede communication.

How to improve:
To further enhance lexical resource, the candidate can focus on refining the accuracy of word choice and collocation. Attention to detail in selecting precise words and ensuring their seamless integration can elevate the essay’s lexical quality. Additionally, maintaining consistency in minimizing rare errors in spelling and word formation will contribute to an even more polished and sophisticated use of vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, showcasing flexibility and accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the essay maintains a high level of clarity. Complex structures are used effectively to convey ideas, and the language is precise and appropriate for an academic context. There are only very occasional errors, and these can be considered minor slips that do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: While the essay is strong in terms of grammatical range and accuracy, a meticulous review to identify and rectify those very occasional errors would enhance the overall quality. Additionally, ensuring a seamless flow between ideas could further elevate the coherence of the essay. Overall, continued attention to detail and precision in language use will contribute to achieving a consistent Band 9 level.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the present era, the impact of news media on individuals’ lives is undeniably widespread, prompting discussions about its overall influence. While some argue that this impact is mainly negative, I assert that the effects of news media are multifaceted. In this essay, I will examine both the negative and positive facets, focusing on the impact of sensationalism and the positive role of media in cultivating awareness for informed decision-making.

The negative influence of news media is apparent in its potential to sensationalize information, motivated by the pursuit of increased viewership, and perpetuate a culture of fear. For example, the exaggeration of certain events, driven by the quest for higher ratings and increased readership, can distort the presentation of facts. This distortion contributes to the spread of inaccurate information, highlighting crucial concerns about the impact on public perception.

On the positive side, news media serves as a crucial source of information and awareness, empowering individuals to make informed decisions. It plays a pivotal role in holding those in power accountable by exposing corruption and injustices. Moreover, the media acts as a catalyst for social change, shedding light on critical issues such as human rights abuses, environmental concerns, and public health crises. An illustrative instance is the media’s role in raising awareness about a specific human rights violation, mobilizing public support and prompting positive societal changes.

In conclusion, while the news media’s influence on people’s lives has both negative and positive dimensions, cultivating awareness and encouraging ethical reporting practices can alleviate the negative repercussions. A well-informed and critically engaged audience can harness the positive potential of news media while guarding against its potential pitfalls.

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