It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide places in university for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide places in university for a high proportion of young people.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of whether it is both possible and desirable for a country to expand university places for a large proportion of young people has sparked considerable debate. While some argue that such an expansion is neither feasible nor necessary, I contend that increasing access to higher education is not only viable but also crucial for the development of both individuals and society.

To begin with, the rising demand for tertiary education among young people underscores the necessity of expanding university places. As the global job market becomes increasingly competitive, a university degree is often seen as a prerequisite for securing well-paying employment. However, the limited number of universities and the high tuition fees of prestigious institutions pose significant barriers to access. For instance, in Vietnam, the financial burden of tuition fees is a major obstacle preventing many young people from pursuing higher education. If the government were to increase the number of universities and subsidize tuition costs, more students from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds would be able to benefit from higher education.

Furthermore, expanding access to higher education is essential for a country’s socioeconomic development. Higher education institutions play a pivotal role in cultivating a skilled workforce, which is crucial for driving innovation and economic growth. In the case of Vietnam, a country with aspirations to transition to a knowledge-based economy, it is imperative to broaden access to higher education. By doing so, the nation can ensure a steady supply of skilled professionals who can contribute to various sectors, thereby enhancing overall productivity and competitiveness on the global stage.

In conclusion, expanding university places for a significant proportion of young people is both possible and advantageous. While challenges such as funding and maintaining quality standards exist, the long-term benefits of a more educated and skilled population far outweigh these concerns. Therefore, governments should prioritize investment in higher education to foster economic growth and social progress.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"young people" -> "young individuals"
Explanation: The term "young individuals" is more formal and precise than "young people," which is somewhat informal and vague in an academic context.
"has sparked considerable debate" -> "has elicited significant debate"
Explanation: "Elicited" is a more precise verb choice than "sparked," which can imply a more casual or emotional response, fitting better in an academic discussion.
"neither feasible nor necessary" -> "neither feasible nor advisable"
Explanation: "Advisable" is more specific and academically appropriate than "necessary," which can imply a moral or absolute requirement, whereas "advisable" suggests a recommendation based on practical considerations.
"increasing access to higher education is not only viable but also crucial" -> "increasing access to higher education is not only viable but also essential"
Explanation: "Essential" is a stronger, more formal term than "crucial," which can be seen as slightly colloquial in academic writing.
"the rising demand for tertiary education among young people" -> "the growing demand for tertiary education among young individuals"
Explanation: "Growing" is a more precise term than "rising," and "individuals" is preferred over "people" for a more formal tone.
"a university degree is often seen as a prerequisite for securing well-paying employment" -> "a university degree is frequently regarded as a prerequisite for securing well-compensated employment"
Explanation: "Frequently regarded" is more formal than "often seen," and "well-compensated" is a more precise term than "well-paying," which is somewhat informal.
"the financial burden of tuition fees" -> "the financial burden of tuition costs"
Explanation: "Costs" is a more neutral and formal term than "fees," which can imply a payment for a specific service.
"more students from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds" -> "a greater number of students from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds"
Explanation: "A greater number of" is more precise and formal than "more," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"cultivating a skilled workforce" -> "developing a skilled workforce"
Explanation: "Developing" is a more precise term in this context, emphasizing the process of creating and improving skills rather than simply cultivating.
"a country with aspirations to transition to a knowledge-based economy" -> "a nation aspiring to transition to a knowledge-based economy"
Explanation: "Nation" is often preferred over "country" in formal academic writing, and "aspiring" is more formal than "with aspirations."
"broaden access to higher education" -> "expand access to higher education"
Explanation: "Expand" is a more direct and formal term than "broaden," which can be seen as less specific in this context.
"the long-term benefits of a more educated and skilled population" -> "the long-term advantages of a more educated and skilled population"
Explanation: "Advantages" is a more precise term than "benefits," which can be too general and vague in this context.
"foster economic growth and social progress" -> "promote economic growth and social advancement"
Explanation: "Promote" is a more active and formal verb than "foster," and "advancement" is a more precise term than "progress," which can be too general.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating the author’s position that expanding university places is both possible and beneficial. The introduction outlines the debate surrounding the issue, and the body paragraphs provide compelling arguments supporting this stance. The author discusses both the demand for higher education and its importance for socioeconomic development, thus covering the key aspects of the question comprehensively.
- How to improve: While the essay already excels in addressing the prompt, further improvement could involve acknowledging counterarguments more explicitly. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and show that the author has considered multiple perspectives before arriving at their conclusion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, asserting that expanding university access is both feasible and necessary. The author’s viewpoint is articulated in the introduction and reinforced in each subsequent paragraph, ensuring that the reader understands the stance taken. The conclusion succinctly reiterates this position, providing a strong closure to the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly link back to the main argument in each paragraph. This would help reinforce the position even further and guide the reader through the logical progression of the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents well-developed ideas supported by relevant examples, such as the reference to Vietnam’s socioeconomic context and the challenges posed by tuition fees. The arguments are extended through logical reasoning, illustrating the necessity of expanding university places for both individual and national development. The use of specific examples strengthens the overall argument and makes it more relatable.
- How to improve: While the examples provided are strong, the essay could benefit from incorporating additional data or statistics to bolster the claims made. For instance, citing specific figures on employment rates for graduates versus non-graduates could provide a more compelling case for the necessity of higher education.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph contributing directly to the central argument regarding the expansion of university places. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the author consistently relates back to the prompt, ensuring that the discussion remains relevant.
- How to improve: To maintain this focus even more effectively, the author could briefly summarize the main points at the end of each paragraph. This would reinforce the connection to the topic and ensure that the reader is continually reminded of the essay’s central argument.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS, effectively presenting a well-supported argument while maintaining clarity and focus.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, with an introduction that outlines the main argument and two well-developed body paragraphs that support this argument. Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that clearly states the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the rising demand for tertiary education, while the second focuses on the socioeconomic benefits of expanding access to higher education. This logical progression of ideas contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, the writer could consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument. For example, a phrase like "Building on this point" could be used at the beginning of the second body paragraph to reinforce the connection between the demand for education and its socioeconomic implications.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly delineated, which aids readability. The body paragraphs are well-developed, with sufficient detail and examples to support the main points. However, the conclusion, while summarizing the main argument, could be seen as slightly abrupt without a transitional phrase leading into it.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes the argument but also reflects on its implications or suggests a call to action. Adding a transitional sentence at the end of the second body paragraph could also help create a smoother transition into the conclusion.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," and "furthermore," which help to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices contribute to the overall fluency of the essay. The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Vietnam’s educational challenges, also enhances cohesion by providing concrete evidence to support the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate additional types of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "consequently," or "on the other hand," to create a more varied and engaging text. This would not only improve the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, which is beneficial for achieving a higher band score.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and coherent, with effective use of paragraphs and cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their argument, potentially achieving an even higher score in the Coherence and Cohesion criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "tertiary education," "socioeconomic development," "cultivating a skilled workforce," and "knowledge-based economy" effectively used to convey complex ideas. This variety enhances the clarity and sophistication of the argument. However, some phrases, such as "major obstacle" and "high tuition fees," could be considered somewhat repetitive or basic in the context of a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "high tuition fees," alternatives like "exorbitant educational costs" or "financially prohibitive tuition" could be used. Additionally, integrating idiomatic expressions or more advanced vocabulary related to education and economics could further elevate the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a good degree of precision. Terms like "expanding access," "barriers to access," and "financial burden" are appropriately used in context. However, the phrase "the rising demand for tertiary education" could be misinterpreted as implying a quantitative increase rather than a qualitative need, which may lead to ambiguity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary choices clearly convey the intended meaning. For example, instead of "the rising demand for tertiary education," the writer could specify "the increasing necessity for tertiary education among young people" to clarify the qualitative aspect. Additionally, using more specific terms related to the context, such as "educational inequity," could enhance clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "necessary," "development," and "competitiveness" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of written English.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to maintain this level of accuracy. Engaging in spelling exercises or using tools like spell checkers can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can further enhance spelling proficiency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating more varied and specific vocabulary, the writer can enhance the sophistication of their writing, which is essential for achieving a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the phrase "While some argue that such an expansion is neither feasible nor necessary, I contend that increasing access to higher education is not only viable but also crucial for the development of both individuals and society" effectively combines contrasting ideas within a single sentence. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "If the government were to increase the number of universities and subsidize tuition costs," showcases an advanced level of grammatical proficiency.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For instance, starting sentences with adverbial clauses (e.g., "Given the rising demand for tertiary education…") can add complexity. Additionally, using more passive voice constructions or inversion for emphasis could enhance the variety.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For instance, the phrase "the financial burden of tuition fees is a major obstacle preventing many young people from pursuing higher education" is grammatically correct and clearly articulated. Punctuation is generally well-handled, with commas appropriately used to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas before conjunctions in compound sentences, which could be refined.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy further, pay attention to the consistent application of punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. For example, ensure that commas are used before conjunctions in compound sentences when necessary. Additionally, reviewing common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, can help maintain high accuracy throughout the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can also contribute to ongoing improvement.

Overall, the essay reflects a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. With targeted efforts to diversify sentence structures and refine punctuation usage, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The issue of whether it is both possible and desirable for a country to expand university places for a large proportion of young individuals has elicited significant debate. While some argue that such an expansion is neither feasible nor advisable, I contend that increasing access to higher education is not only viable but also crucial for the development of both individuals and society.

To begin with, the growing demand for tertiary education among young individuals underscores the necessity of expanding university places. As the global job market becomes increasingly competitive, a university degree is frequently regarded as a prerequisite for securing well-compensated employment. However, the limited number of universities and the high tuition fees of prestigious institutions pose significant barriers to access. For instance, in Vietnam, the financial burden of tuition costs is a major obstacle preventing many young individuals from pursuing higher education. If the government were to increase the number of universities and subsidize tuition fees, a greater number of students from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds would be able to benefit from higher education.

Furthermore, expanding access to higher education is essential for a country’s socioeconomic development. Higher education institutions play a pivotal role in developing a skilled workforce, which is crucial for driving innovation and economic growth. In the case of Vietnam, a nation aspiring to transition to a knowledge-based economy, it is imperative to broaden access to higher education. By doing so, the nation can ensure a steady supply of skilled professionals who can contribute to various sectors, thereby enhancing overall productivity and competitiveness on the global stage.

In conclusion, expanding university places for a significant proportion of young individuals is both possible and advantageous. While challenges such as funding and maintaining quality standards exist, the long-term advantages of a more educated and skilled population far outweigh these concerns. Therefore, governments should prioritize investment in higher education to promote economic growth and social advancement.