It was predicted that with the development of technology, people would have more free time in 21st century. To what extent do you think the prediction has come true? Give some reasons from your perspective and experience.

The advent of modern technology leads to the possibility of creating more free time for individuals. In my opinion, I completely agree that the accuracy level of this expectation is extremely high.
One significant reason is the versatile function of technology. In fact, technologies like robotic process automation and artificial intellligence have automated repetitive tasks, ranging from work duties to household chores, freeing up time for individuals to focus on more strategic and creative activities. Innovations like smart home assistants and appliances, for example, reduce the time needed for household chores and management. Moreover, having been installed with intelligent equipment, these types of devices are able to deal with challenging problems that require a large amount of time for thinking and tension for persons.
The second one is the enhanced communication tools. The widespread presence of communicating applicants ranging from messenger to snapchat, for instance, allows people to get their messages across immediately, rather than wasting time arriving in post offices to send their envelops in the past few years. Futhermore, insteading of getting up early and struggling to commute, the appearance of modern gadgets enable humans to activate their own devices to participate in their virtual office straight away.
In conclusion, the chance is that the extensive emergence of hi-tech innovation is the main contributor to time-saving activities. I am in favour of this idea due to the work ability and convenient interactive applicants.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The advent of modern technology leads to the possibility of creating more free time for individuals." -> "The advent of modern technology offers the potential for increased leisure time for individuals."
Explanation: "Offers the potential for increased leisure time" is more precise and formal, replacing the vague "leads to the possibility of creating more free time."
"In my opinion, I completely agree" -> "I strongly concur"
Explanation: "I strongly concur" is a more concise and academically appropriate expression than "In my opinion, I completely agree," which is redundant and informal.
"the accuracy level of this expectation is extremely high" -> "the likelihood of this expectation is extremely high"
Explanation: "Likelihood" is more appropriate than "accuracy level" in this context, as it refers to the probability of an event occurring, which is more relevant to the discussion of technological advancements.
"versatile function of technology" -> "versatility of technology"
Explanation: "Versatility of technology" is a more natural and concise way to describe the range of capabilities offered by technology.
"In fact, technologies like robotic process automation and artificial intellligence" -> "Indeed, technologies such as robotic process automation and artificial intelligence"
Explanation: "Indeed" is a more formal alternative to "In fact," and "such as" is the correct phrase to introduce examples, rather than "like."
"freeing up time for individuals to focus on more strategic and creative activities" -> "freeing up time for individuals to focus on more strategic and creative pursuits"
Explanation: "Pursuits" is a more formal and precise term than "activities," aligning better with academic style.
"having been installed with intelligent equipment" -> "equipped with intelligent equipment"
Explanation: "Equipped with" is a more direct and formal way to describe the installation of technology.
"deal with challenging problems that require a large amount of time for thinking and tension for persons" -> "address complex problems that demand significant cognitive effort and reduce stress for individuals"
Explanation: "Address complex problems that demand significant cognitive effort and reduce stress for individuals" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear original phrasing.
"communicating applicants ranging from messenger to snapchat" -> "communication platforms such as messengers and Snapchat"
Explanation: "Communication platforms" is a more accurate and formal term than "communicating applicants," which is unclear and informal.
"get their messages across immediately" -> "transmit messages instantly"
Explanation: "Transmit messages instantly" is more formal and precise than "get their messages across immediately."
"wasting time arriving in post offices to send their envelops" -> "wasting time visiting post offices to send letters"
Explanation: "Visiting post offices to send letters" is clearer and more formal than "arriving in post offices to send their envelops," which is grammatically incorrect and informal.
"insteading of getting up early and struggling to commute" -> "instead of rising early and struggling to commute"
Explanation: "Instead of rising early" is a more formal and precise alternative to "instead of getting up early."
"activate their own devices to participate in their virtual office straight away" -> "activate their devices to participate in virtual offices immediately"
Explanation: "Activate their devices to participate in virtual offices immediately" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "straight away."
"the chance is that the extensive emergence of hi-tech innovation is the main contributor to time-saving activities" -> "it is likely that the widespread emergence of hi-tech innovations is the primary contributor to time-saving activities"
Explanation: "It is likely that" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to express probability, and "innovations" should be plural to match the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing how technology has contributed to the creation of more free time. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of the extent to which this prediction has come true. The writer mentions automation and enhanced communication, but does not provide a balanced view or consider counterarguments, such as how technology can also lead to increased work demands or distractions.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should explicitly state their position on the extent of the prediction’s accuracy. They should also consider both sides of the argument, discussing not only the benefits of technology in freeing up time but also the potential drawbacks that could negate this effect. Including personal experiences or examples that illustrate these points would strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that agrees with the prediction of increased free time due to technology. However, the clarity of this position is undermined by vague language and a lack of consistent argumentation. Phrases like "I completely agree" are not sufficiently supported with clear reasoning throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their thesis in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Each paragraph should clearly connect back to this thesis, ensuring that all points made directly support the central argument. Using topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph would help reinforce this clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to technology’s role in saving time, such as automation and communication tools. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with detailed examples or evidence. For instance, while the mention of smart home assistants is relevant, the explanation lacks depth and does not provide specific examples of how they save time.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should provide specific examples and data where possible. Each point should be developed with clear explanations and relevant illustrations that demonstrate how technology contributes to free time. Additionally, integrating personal experiences or observations could add authenticity and depth to the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing technology’s impact on free time. However, there are instances of irrelevant details, such as the mention of "struggling to commute" without a clear connection to the main argument. This distracts from the main focus and weakens the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes to the central argument. They can achieve this by outlining their main points before writing and checking each paragraph to ensure it aligns with the thesis. Avoiding tangential information and sticking closely to the prompt will enhance the essay’s clarity and effectiveness.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on developing a more balanced argument, providing specific examples, maintaining clarity in their position, and ensuring relevance throughout the essay. Additionally, addressing the word count issue is crucial, as being under the required word limit can significantly impact the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that supports the thesis regarding technology creating more free time. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion. Each paragraph addresses a specific reason, with the first focusing on the versatile functions of technology and the second on enhanced communication tools. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing automation to communication tools feels abrupt, lacking a clear linking sentence that ties the two concepts together.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, before introducing the second reason, a sentence like "In addition to automation, communication technologies also play a crucial role in saving time" would provide a clearer link between the two points.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph has a clear focus, and the structure is generally appropriate for an IELTS Task 2 essay. However, the second paragraph could be further divided into smaller sections to improve clarity, especially since it covers two distinct aspects of communication tools—messaging applications and remote work capabilities.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones that focus on a single idea. For example, the discussion on messaging applications could be its own paragraph, followed by another that addresses remote work technologies. This would enhance readability and allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For instance, the phrase "the second one is" is somewhat informal and could be replaced with a more sophisticated transition.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. Consider using terms like "furthermore," "in addition," or "conversely" to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing technology-related terms such as "robotic process automation," "artificial intelligence," and "smart home assistants." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety, with phrases like "free time," "enhanced communication tools," and "modern gadgets" appearing repetitively. This indicates a reliance on familiar terms rather than exploring synonyms or more sophisticated expressions.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "free time," alternatives like "leisure time" or "spare time" could be utilized. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs, such as "innovative" instead of "modern," would enrich the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the accuracy level of this expectation is extremely high" is vague and could be more clearly articulated. Furthermore, "communicating applicants" appears to be a misnomer; the intended term is likely "communication applications." Such inaccuracies can confuse readers and weaken the overall argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that terms are used correctly and reflect their intended meaning. A review of vocabulary and its context is essential. For instance, replacing "accuracy level" with "likelihood" or "validity" would clarify the intended message. Additionally, proofreading for correct terminology will help avoid similar errors.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "intellligence" (should be "intelligence"), "Futhermore" (should be "Furthermore"), and "insteading" (should be "instead"). These errors disrupt the flow of reading and can undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should adopt a systematic approach to proofreading. This could include reading the essay aloud to catch mistakes or using spell-check tools before finalizing the text. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise usage, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource category.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "In fact, technologies like robotic process automation and artificial intelligence have automated repetitive tasks, ranging from work duties to household chores, freeing up time for individuals to focus on more strategic and creative activities" effectively combines multiple clauses. However, many sentences are somewhat repetitive in structure, often relying on similar patterns, which limits the overall range. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the second one is" lacks sophistication and could be varied to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "The second one is the enhanced communication tools," the writer could say, "Another significant factor contributing to increased free time is the enhancement of communication tools." This not only varies the structure but also improves coherence. Practicing sentence combining exercises and reading a variety of texts can help in developing a more flexible writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "intellligence" is a misspelling of "intelligence," and "insteading" should be "instead." Additionally, phrases like "the chance is that" are awkward and not standard English usage. There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could clarify meaning, especially in complex sentences. For instance, "Moreover, having been installed with intelligent equipment, these types of devices are able to deal with challenging problems" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for spelling and grammatical errors. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can help identify mistakes before submission. Additionally, studying common grammatical structures and practicing writing with a focus on punctuation rules will aid in improving overall accuracy. Engaging in peer review or seeking feedback from knowledgeable sources can also provide insights into persistent errors and areas for improvement.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are significant areas for improvement. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The advent of modern technology leads to the possibility of creating more free time for individuals. In my opinion, I strongly concur that the accuracy level of this expectation is extremely high.

One significant reason is the versatile function of technology. Indeed, technologies like robotic process automation and artificial intelligence have automated repetitive tasks, ranging from work duties to household chores, freeing up time for individuals to focus on more strategic and creative activities. Innovations like smart home assistants and appliances, for example, reduce the time needed for household chores and management. Moreover, equipped with intelligent equipment, these types of devices are able to address complex problems that demand significant cognitive effort and reduce stress for individuals.

The second reason is the enhanced communication tools. The widespread presence of communication platforms such as messengers and Snapchat, for instance, allows people to transmit messages instantly, rather than wasting time visiting post offices to send their envelopes as in the past. Furthermore, instead of rising early and struggling to commute, the appearance of modern gadgets enables individuals to activate their devices to participate in virtual offices immediately.

In conclusion, it is likely that the widespread emergence of hi-tech innovations is the primary contributor to time-saving activities. I am in favour of this idea due to the work efficiency and convenient interactive applications.