Life is now better that it was 100 years ago. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences. You should write at least 250 words.

Life is now better that it was 100 years ago.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

You should write at least 250 words.

Speaking of life today is better than it was 100 years ago. In my perfective, I definitely agree with this statement due to now a day life have advantage in various of fields such as technology, healthcare, and communication.
One of the best differences between now and 100 years ago is rapid advance development of technology. The internet, smartphones, and AI have transformed how we live, work, and communication. For example, the ability shop online has made life more convenient compare to have only dark store shopping a century ago.
Another area where life is much better is healthcare. A modern hospitals and medicines ensure that people have access to treatments that were unimaginable 100 years ago.
Communication has also greatly improved. 100 – years ago, it would take weeks or months to send a letter overseas, while today we can connect instantly via email or social media. 
To sum up, while life today presents its own set of challenges, the advancements in technology, healthcare, and communications have undoubtedly improve our quality of life compared to 100- years ago.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Speaking of life today is better than it was 100 years ago." -> "It is widely acknowledged that life today is better than it was 100 years ago."
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed and lacks a formal tone. The revised version clarifies the subject and enhances the academic tone by using a more formal structure.

2. "In my perfective" -> "In my opinion"
   Explanation: "Perfective" is not a word in English and is likely a typographical error. "In my opinion" is the correct phrase for expressing personal viewpoint in formal writing.

3. "now a day life have advantage" -> "today’s life has advantages"
   Explanation: "Now a day" is an informal expression and "have advantage" is grammatically incorrect. "Today’s life has advantages" corrects these issues and uses a more formal structure.

4. "various of fields" -> "various fields"
   Explanation: "Various of fields" is grammatically incorrect. "Various fields" is the correct form.

5. "rapid advance development" -> "rapid advancements in development"
   Explanation: "Rapid advance development" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Rapid advancements in development" is more precise and grammatically correct.

6. "The internet, smartphones, and AI have transformed how we live, work, and communication." -> "The internet, smartphones, and AI have transformed how we live, work, and communicate."
   Explanation: "Communication" should be "communicate" to maintain grammatical consistency and accuracy.

7. "the ability shop online has made life more convenient compare to have only dark store shopping a century ago." -> "the ability to shop online has made life more convenient compared to shopping in dark stores a century ago."
   Explanation: "Compare to" is incorrect; "compared to" is the correct comparative form. Also, "dark store shopping" is unclear and should be "shopping in dark stores" for clarity.

8. "A modern hospitals" -> "Modern hospitals"
   Explanation: "A modern hospitals" is grammatically incorrect. "Modern hospitals" is the correct form.

9. "ensure that people have access to treatments that were unimaginable 100 years ago." -> "ensure that people have access to treatments that were previously unimaginable 100 years ago."
   Explanation: Adding "previously" clarifies the temporal reference and enhances the formal tone.

10. "100 – years ago" -> "100 years ago"
    Explanation: The hyphen is unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the sentence. "100 years ago" is the correct form.

11. "we can connect instantly via email or social media." -> "we can connect instantly via email or social media."
    Explanation: The period at the end of the sentence is unnecessary and disrupts the flow of the list. Removing it maintains the list structure correctly.

12. "the advancements in technology, healthcare, and communications have undoubtedly improve" -> "the advancements in technology, healthcare, and communication have undoubtedly improved"
    Explanation: "Improve" should be "improved" to match the past tense of the sentence, and "communications" should be "communication" for grammatical consistency.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by agreeing that life is better now than it was 100 years ago. However, it lacks depth in exploring the extent of this agreement. The response mentions technology, healthcare, and communication as areas of improvement but does not sufficiently elaborate on how these advancements impact quality of life or consider any counterarguments. For instance, while the essay states that healthcare has improved, it does not discuss potential issues like healthcare accessibility or the rise of new health challenges.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should provide a more balanced view. Including a discussion of both the positive and negative aspects of modern life would show a deeper understanding of the topic. Additionally, expanding on each point with specific examples and evidence would strengthen the argument.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that life is better today, but the phrasing is somewhat vague. Phrases like "in my perfective" and "now a day life have advantage" detract from the clarity of the argument. The position is stated but not consistently reinforced throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion, which could be more assertive.
  • How to improve: The writer should work on articulating their position more clearly and consistently. Using straightforward language and ensuring that each paragraph ties back to the central argument would help maintain clarity. A stronger conclusion that reiterates the main points and the writer’s stance would also enhance the overall coherence.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to technology, healthcare, and communication but lacks sufficient extension and support. For example, the statement about online shopping is introduced but not elaborated upon. The mention of "modern hospitals and medicines" is vague and could benefit from specific examples or statistics to illustrate the advancements in healthcare.
  • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to develop each point with more detail. This could include providing specific examples, statistics, or personal anecdotes that illustrate how life has improved in these areas. Additionally, linking ideas together more cohesively would enhance the overall flow of the essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the improvements in life over the past century. However, the phrasing and some grammatical errors, such as "compare to have only dark store shopping," can distract from the main argument and confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all statements directly support the main argument. Avoiding grammatical errors and unclear phrases will help keep the reader engaged and make the argument more persuasive. Proofreading for clarity and coherence before submission would also be beneficial.

Overall, to improve the essay, the writer should aim to expand on their ideas, provide specific examples, and ensure clarity in their position and language. Addressing these areas will help achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that life today is better than it was 100 years ago, structured around three main points: technology, healthcare, and communication. Each point is introduced in a logical sequence, allowing the reader to follow the argument easily. However, the transitions between points could be smoother; for instance, the shift from technology to healthcare feels abrupt and could benefit from a linking sentence that ties the two ideas together.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "In addition to technological advancements," or "Furthermore," at the beginning of each new paragraph. This would help create a more cohesive narrative and guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the first paragraph could be more developed. It introduces the main argument but lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, which can confuse the reader about the essay’s direction.
  • How to improve: Start the introduction with a strong topic sentence that clearly states your position. For example, "In my view, life today is significantly better than it was a century ago due to advancements in technology, healthcare, and communication." This sets a clear tone for the essay and helps the reader understand the structure from the outset.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "to sum up," which help in connecting ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and can feel repetitive. For instance, the phrase "100 years ago" appears multiple times, which could be varied to enhance the writing’s fluidity.
  • How to improve: Diversify your cohesive devices by incorporating synonyms and varied phrases. Instead of repeatedly saying "100 years ago," consider alternatives like "a century ago" or "in the past century." Additionally, use more linking words such as "however," "on the other hand," and "consequently" to connect ideas more dynamically and improve the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, thereby potentially increasing the overall band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in the context of discussing advancements in technology, healthcare, and communication. Phrases like "rapid advance development of technology" and "modern hospitals and medicines" show an attempt to use varied vocabulary. However, the use of "advantage in various of fields" is awkward and could be expressed more clearly as "advantages in various fields."
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider incorporating more synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "better," alternatives such as "improved," "enhanced," or "superior" could be used. Additionally, expanding on the examples with more descriptive language would enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, "now a day life have advantage" should be corrected to "nowadays, life has advantages." The phrase "compare to have only dark store shopping" is confusing and should be rephrased to "compared to shopping only in physical stores." Such inaccuracies can lead to misunderstandings.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and the correct form of words. Regular practice with collocations and phrases commonly used in academic writing can help. For example, instead of "the ability shop online," it should be "the ability to shop online." Proofreading for grammatical structure will also enhance clarity.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "perfective" instead of "perspective," "now a day" instead of "nowadays," and "100 – years ago" which should be "100 years ago." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize tools such as spell checkers. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help familiarize the writer with correct spelling and usage. Writing drafts and allowing time for revision can also reduce the likelihood of spelling mistakes.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and some relevant examples, focusing on expanding vocabulary, improving precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy will help elevate the Lexical Resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "One of the best differences" and "Another area where life is much better" are straightforward and lack complexity. The use of "while" to contrast ideas is a positive aspect, but overall, the essay could benefit from more complex structures, such as subordinate clauses or varied sentence openings.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences. For example, instead of saying, "The internet, smartphones, and AI have transformed how we live," you could say, "The advent of the internet, smartphones, and AI has not only transformed how we live but has also reshaped our interactions and work environments." Additionally, using varied sentence starters can create a more engaging flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "now a day life have advantage" should be "nowadays, life has advantages." The phrase "compare to have only dark store shopping" is awkward and incorrect; it should read "compared to the limited options of shopping in physical stores." Furthermore, the use of "100 – years ago" is incorrect; it should be "100 years ago" without the hyphen. The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas and periods, which affects clarity.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and verb tenses. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, consider revisiting the rules for comma usage, especially in complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors, allowing for corrections before final submission.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Speaking of life today being better than it was 100 years ago, I definitely agree with this statement. In my opinion, today’s life has advantages in various fields such as technology, healthcare, and communication.

One of the most significant differences between now and 100 years ago is the rapid advancements in technology. The internet, smartphones, and AI have transformed how we live, work, and communicate. For example, the ability to shop online has made life more convenient compared to shopping in dark stores a century ago.

Another area where life is much better is healthcare. Modern hospitals and medicines ensure that people have access to treatments that were previously unimaginable 100 years ago. This improvement in healthcare has undoubtedly contributed to longer life expectancies and better overall health.

Communication has also greatly improved. A century ago, it would take weeks or even months to send a letter overseas, while today we can connect instantly via email or social media. This instant connectivity has made it easier to maintain relationships and share information across the globe.

To sum up, while life today presents its own set of challenges, the advancements in technology, healthcare, and communication have undoubtedly improved our quality of life compared to 100 years ago.