Many countries import large amounts of food from other parts of the world. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is a trend that many nations import huge amounts of food from other parts of the world. Although there may be some slight disadvantages, they are far outweighed by the advantages.

Admittedly, there may be some slight drawbacks if many countries import a great amount of food from other countries. The first one is that such foods pose a threat to health. This is because foods will be transported long distances and they are preserved by chemicals to keep them fresh. These preservatives sometimes cause serious illnesses such as digestive disorder, heart disease and even cancer. Moreover, the environment is also negatively impacted. The reason is importing using a lot of means such as planes and trucks, which release emission into the air and render them polluted.

However, despite the aforementioned issues, they are far outweighed by the associated benefits. Importing foods from other countries provides people the opportunity to taste varied exotic foods. For example, Kiwi fruits cannot be grown in Vietnam due to their specific features but Vietnamese could savor them owing to importing. Beyond that, this trend enables developing nations to generate foreign currency by exporting their unique products to the global market. Ultimately, this contributes to the economic growth of these countries and ensures their national food security.

In conclusion, while I acknowledge that there may be certain drawbacks, the benefits in terms of variety of food and economics are more significant. Based on the aforementioned arguments, I contend that this is an overall positive trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"huge amounts" -> "substantial quantities"
Explanation: "Substantial quantities" is a more precise and formal term that better fits the academic style, avoiding the colloquial tone of "huge amounts."
"far outweighed" -> "significantly outweigh"
Explanation: "Significantly outweigh" is a more precise and formal expression, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"slight drawbacks" -> "minor drawbacks"
Explanation: "Minor" is a more specific and formal term than "slight," which can be seen as vague and informal in academic writing.
"a great amount" -> "a significant quantity"
Explanation: "A significant quantity" is more formal and precise than "a great amount," aligning better with academic language standards.
"pose a threat to health" -> "pose health risks"
Explanation: "Pose health risks" is a more direct and formal way to express the potential health impacts, avoiding the more casual phrasing of "pose a threat."
"preserved by chemicals" -> "preserved using chemicals"
Explanation: "Using" is more precise and formal than "by," which can be seen as less specific in this context.
"cause serious illnesses" -> "cause serious health issues"
Explanation: "Health issues" is a more comprehensive and formal term than "illnesses," encompassing a broader range of health problems.
"render them polluted" -> "pollute them"
Explanation: "Pollute them" is a more direct and formal verb form, suitable for academic writing.
"importing using a lot of means" -> "importing using various modes"
Explanation: "Various modes" is more specific and formal than "a lot of means," which is vague and informal.
"release emission into the air" -> "emit pollutants into the air"
Explanation: "Emit pollutants" is a more precise and scientifically accurate term than "release emission," which is less specific.
"render them polluted" -> "pollute them"
Explanation: Again, "pollute them" is a more direct and formal verb form, suitable for academic writing.
"Kiwi fruits" -> "kiwi fruit"
Explanation: "Kiwi fruit" is the correct singular form, as kiwi is a type of fruit, not a plural noun.
"could savor them" -> "can enjoy them"
Explanation: "Can enjoy them" is a more formal and precise expression than "could savor them," which is somewhat informal and less direct.
"generate foreign currency" -> "earn foreign currency"
Explanation: "Earn" is a more precise and formal term than "generate" in this context, specifically referring to the acquisition of income.
"ensure their national food security" -> "enhance their national food security"
Explanation: "Enhance" is a more precise and formal verb than "ensure," which can imply a guarantee that may not be entirely accurate in this context.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of food imports. The introduction clearly states the trend of food imports and acknowledges potential drawbacks, which is essential for a balanced response. The body paragraphs provide specific examples of both the disadvantages (health risks and environmental impact) and advantages (variety of food and economic benefits), demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could delve deeper into the negative aspects by providing more specific examples or statistics related to health issues and environmental degradation. Additionally, discussing potential solutions or mitigative measures for the drawbacks could further enrich the analysis and show a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the benefits of food imports outweigh the drawbacks. This position is consistently reinforced throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion, where the writer reiterates their stance. The use of phrases like "despite the aforementioned issues" and "the benefits in terms of variety of food and economics are more significant" effectively signals the writer’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main points that will be discussed. This would provide a stronger framework for the argument and help guide the reader through the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas, particularly in the advantages section, where it discusses the opportunity to taste exotic foods and the economic benefits for developing countries. However, the support for the negative aspects is less developed. The mention of health risks and environmental concerns is valid but lacks depth and specific examples that would strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should consider including more detailed examples, such as specific health studies linking food imports to health issues or statistics on environmental impact. Additionally, expanding on the economic benefits with examples of specific countries or products could provide a more robust argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of food imports and their implications. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and there are no significant deviations from the topic. The writer effectively balances the discussion of both positive and negative aspects, which is crucial for addressing the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain even greater focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the central question of whether food imports are a positive or negative development. Avoiding overly general statements and ensuring that every example ties back to the thesis will help maintain tight relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. With some enhancements in the depth of analysis and example support, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized into two distinct sections: one discussing the drawbacks of food imports and the other highlighting the benefits. This logical division aids in understanding the argument. However, the transition between the drawbacks and benefits could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "However, despite the aforementioned issues…" serves as a transition but feels somewhat abrupt, as it does not fully connect the two contrasting ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly relate the drawbacks to the benefits. For example, after discussing the drawbacks, you might add a sentence that acknowledges the complexity of the issue before introducing the benefits. This could help create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs, with each one focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction sets the stage, the first body paragraph addresses drawbacks, and the second body paragraph discusses benefits. However, the conclusion could be more robust by summarizing the key points made in the body paragraphs rather than simply restating the overall opinion.
- How to improve: Strengthen the conclusion by briefly revisiting the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs. This could reinforce the essay’s overall message and provide a clearer closure. For instance, you could summarize the health and environmental drawbacks before reiterating the benefits of variety and economic growth.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "although," "despite," and "however," which help to connect ideas and indicate contrast. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be made clearer. For example, the phrase "the reason is importing using a lot of means such as planes and trucks…" could be better linked to the previous sentence for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify and enhance the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "conversely" to introduce new points or to elaborate on existing ones. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used in a way that clearly connects ideas, perhaps by rephrasing sentences for clarity and flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, refining transitions, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a more polished and effective argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "import," "exotic foods," and "economic growth" being effectively utilized. However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the phrases "import" and "food." For instance, the phrase "huge amounts of food" could be varied with synonyms such as "large quantities of produce" or "significant volumes of agricultural products." Additionally, the phrase "many countries" appears multiple times, which could be diversified with alternatives like "numerous nations" or "various states."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting could help in identifying alternative expressions. Furthermore, using more descriptive adjectives and adverbs can enrich the text, such as replacing "huge amounts" with "substantial quantities" or "considerable volumes."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the term "preserved by chemicals" could be misleading; it would be more accurate to say "treated with preservatives." Additionally, the phrase "release emission into the air" is awkward; the correct form should be "release emissions into the atmosphere." Such inaccuracies can lead to misunderstandings and detract from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing definitions and contexts of words before use. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also help in finding more precise terms. Engaging with academic texts can expose the writer to contextually appropriate vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally good level of spelling accuracy, with no glaring errors. However, there are minor issues, such as the misspelling of "emission" (should be "emissions") and the incorrect use of "digestive disorder" which could be more appropriately stated as "digestive disorders." Such errors, while not frequent, can affect the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should consider proofreading the essay multiple times or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Reading extensively can also help in reinforcing correct spelling through exposure.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable effort in vocabulary usage, there are clear areas for improvement in variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and enhancing spelling practices, the writer can aim for a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of "Although there may be some slight disadvantages, they are far outweighed by the advantages" showcases a complex sentence structure that effectively introduces a contrast. Additionally, phrases like "despite the aforementioned issues" and "this trend enables developing nations to generate foreign currency" illustrate the use of varied grammatical forms. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed, which can detract from overall fluency and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "The first one is" or "Moreover," the writer could use alternatives like "One significant concern is" or "In addition to this." Additionally, using more conditional sentences or participial phrases could add complexity and interest to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "importing using a lot of means such as planes and trucks" is awkwardly constructed and could be clearer. The use of commas is mostly correct, but there are some areas where additional punctuation could enhance clarity, such as before "which release emission into the air" where a comma is needed to separate the clause. The phrase "render them polluted" is also somewhat vague and could be more precise.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on sentence clarity and conciseness. Revising awkward phrases for clarity, such as changing "importing using a lot of means" to "importing goods via various means," would enhance readability. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help avoid run-on sentences and improve overall coherence. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on specific grammatical structures can also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is a trend that many nations import substantial quantities of food from other parts of the world. Although there may be some minor drawbacks, they are significantly outweighed by the advantages.

Admittedly, there may be some minor drawbacks if many countries import a significant quantity of food from other nations. The first concern is that such foods pose health risks. This is because foods are often transported long distances and are preserved using chemicals to keep them fresh. These preservatives can sometimes cause serious health issues, such as digestive disorders, heart disease, and even cancer. Moreover, the environment is also negatively impacted. This is due to the fact that importing food involves various modes of transportation, such as planes and trucks, which emit pollutants into the air and contribute to pollution.

However, despite the aforementioned issues, the benefits far outweigh the associated drawbacks. Importing food from other countries provides people with the opportunity to enjoy a diverse range of exotic foods. For example, kiwi fruit cannot be grown in Vietnam due to its specific growing conditions, but Vietnamese people can savor them thanks to imports. Beyond that, this trend enables developing nations to earn foreign currency by exporting their unique products to the global market. Ultimately, this contributes to the economic growth of these countries and enhances their national food security.

In conclusion, while I acknowledge that there may be certain drawbacks, the benefits in terms of food variety and economic advantages are more significant. Based on the arguments presented, I contend that this is an overall positive trend.