Many criminals reofend after thay have punishment. Why? What canbe done to solve this phenomenon

It is true that punishment do not always deter criminals from commting more crimes. There are a numbber of reasons why offenders repeatedly break the law and several solutions should adapted in order to improve the situation.
There are major reasons why the criminers have repeat offending after preson sentence. The first reason for this is that lacking of rehabilitation. While they are difficult to have conffidence of people around them, they often tend to have againt behavior which make them suffer from punishment againt. Furthermore, finance is considered cause. For example, crimes are impossible to have job with working atmostphere and hight salary like normal people. Therefore they can not have enought money to earn themselves and they will offend
Fortunately, several measures could be taken to deal with this preoplem. The first solution would be governments should introduce providing which help crimes rehabilitate with community as well as encorage them become better person such as creating volunteer activities and for criminer an. The second measure would be suppervising retrictly and raise awarness of them from life lessons to decrease repeating offending
In conclusion, it is clear that there are vaarious reasons for criminer continue have mistake affter strict measure, and steps need to be taken to tackle this phenomenon

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"punishment do not" -> "punishments do not"
Explanation: Correcting subject-verb agreement by changing "punishment" to "punishments" to match the plural verb "do not."
"commting" -> "committing"
Explanation: Correcting the misspelling of "committing" for accuracy.
"a numbber of reasons" -> "several reasons"
Explanation: Replacing "a number of" with "several" for conciseness and clarity.
"should adapted" -> "should be adapted"
Explanation: Adding the auxiliary verb "be" for grammatical correctness.
"criminers" -> "criminals"
Explanation: Correcting the misspelling of "criminals" for accuracy.
"preson sentence" -> "prison sentence"
Explanation: Correcting the misspelling of "prison sentence" for accuracy.
"lacking of" -> "lack of"
Explanation: Using "lack of" instead of "lacking of" for proper phrasing.
"conffidence" -> "confidence"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "confidence" for accuracy.
"againt behavior" -> "against behavior"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "against behavior" for accuracy.
"make them suffer from punishment againt" -> "lead them to experience repeated punishment"
Explanation: Rewording for clarity and formality, avoiding repetitive phrasing.
"finance is considered cause" -> "financial concerns are considered a cause"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and formality, using "financial concerns" instead of "finance" and adding "a" before "cause."
"impossible to have job with working atmostphere" -> "difficult to secure employment in conducive environments"
Explanation: Rewording for clarity and formality, using "secure employment" and "conducive environments" instead of "have job" and "working atmosphere."
"hight salary" -> "high salary"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "high salary" for accuracy.
"normal people" -> "law-abiding citizens"
Explanation: Replacing "normal people" with "law-abiding citizens" for specificity and formality.
"enought money" -> "sufficient money"
Explanation: Using "sufficient money" instead of "enough money" for clarity and formality.
"rehabilitate with community" -> "rehabilitate within the community"
Explanation: Clarifying the relationship between rehabilitation and the community by placing "within" before "the community."
"encorage them become" -> "encourage them to become"
Explanation: Adding "to" after "encourage them" for grammatical correctness.
"volunteer activities and for criminer an" -> "volunteer activities and support programs for criminals"
Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and specificity, replacing "for criminer an" with "support programs for criminals."
"suppervising retrictly" -> "strictly supervising"
Explanation: Rearranging words for clarity and formality, placing the adverb "strictly" before the verb "supervising."
"raise awarness" -> "raise awareness"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "awareness" for accuracy.
"from life lessons" -> "about life lessons"
Explanation: Using "about" instead of "from" for clearer phrasing.
"vaarious reasons" -> "various reasons"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "various reasons" for accuracy.
"criminer continue have mistake affter" -> "criminals continue to make mistakes after"
Explanation: Rewording for clarity and formality, using "criminals" instead of "criminer" and restructuring the sentence for better syntax.
"steps need to be taken" -> "steps need to be implemented"
Explanation: Using "implemented" instead of "taken" for variety and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Task Response: 4 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address all parts of the question but falls short in fully exploring the reasons why criminals reoffend and the solutions to this phenomenon. It briefly mentions the lack of rehabilitation and financial issues as reasons for reoffending but does not delve into these aspects deeply enough. The solutions provided are also vaguely described and lack specificity and depth.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should thoroughly analyze why criminals reoffend, considering psychological, social, and systemic factors. It should also provide detailed and concrete solutions, including specific programs or policies that could address these issues effectively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a somewhat clear position on the issue of why criminals reoffend, mentioning rehabilitation and financial difficulties. However, the stance is not consistently supported throughout the essay, and there is a lack of strong, cohesive argumentation.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the essay should clearly state its position in the introduction and then support this position with well-developed arguments and examples throughout the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should contribute to reinforcing the main position without contradictions or ambiguity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks extension and support. For instance, it briefly mentions the lack of rehabilitation and financial issues without elaborating on how these factors contribute to recidivism. The examples provided are general and not sufficiently developed to strengthen the arguments.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the essay should extend each point by providing detailed explanations, examples, and possibly statistics or research findings to substantiate claims. Each idea should be thoroughly explored to enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing reasons for recidivism and potential solutions. However, there are moments of vague or repetitive language that detract from the focus. For example, phrases like "become better person" and "steps need to be taken" lack specificity and clarity.
- How to improve: To stay more focused, the essay should avoid vague or general statements and instead provide specific details and examples that directly relate to the topic. Clear and concise language will help maintain relevance and coherence throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, it lacks depth, specificity, and strong argumentation. Improvements in providing detailed explanations, supporting ideas with evidence, maintaining a clear position, and staying focused on the topic are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Incorporating more complex vocabulary and sentence structures can also enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a logical organization by introducing reasons for repeat offending in the first paragraph, suggesting solutions in the second paragraph, and concluding in the third paragraph. However, the coherence is hindered by grammatical errors and lack of clarity in expression. For instance, the essay starts with a statement about punishment’s inability to deter criminals, then transitions to reasons for repeat offending without a clear connection.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, it’s crucial to establish clear connections between ideas and maintain a consistent focus throughout each paragraph. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that directly relates to the prompt and clearly states the main idea of the paragraph. Additionally, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader through the essay’s argument effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs to separate different ideas, but the structure is inconsistent and lacks coherence. There is only one paragraph for each of the reasons and solutions, making it challenging for the reader to distinguish between the various points. Additionally, there are issues with sentence structure and coherence within paragraphs.
- How to improve: Focus on creating well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Break down complex ideas into smaller, cohesive units of thought, and use supporting details and examples to develop each point effectively. Consider revising sentence structure to ensure clarity and coherence within paragraphs.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas and create cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. As a result, the flow of the essay is disrupted, and the reader may struggle to follow the progression of arguments.
- How to improve: Incorporate a diverse range of cohesive devices throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and phrases (e.g., "furthermore," "however," "in conclusion") to signal shifts between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, employ cohesive devices within paragraphs, such as pronouns, parallel structure, and repetition, to strengthen connections between sentences and maintain coherence. Review and revise the essay to ensure seamless transitions and logical progression of ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an attempt at organization, paragraphing, and coherence, there are significant areas for improvement in clarity, structure, and cohesion. By addressing these weaknesses and implementing the suggested improvements, the essay can achieve a higher band score for Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, but there are instances of repetition and imprecise word choices. For example, the repetition of "crimes" could be varied to enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, phrases like "lacking of rehabilitation" could be more precisely expressed to convey the idea more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer could focus on expanding their vocabulary by exploring synonyms and alternative expressions for commonly used words. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "crimes," the writer could vary their language by using terms like "offenses," "transgressions," or "violations." Furthermore, replacing phrases like "lacking of rehabilitation" with more precise language such as "insufficient access to rehabilitation programs" would enhance clarity and lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, which can affect the clarity and effectiveness of communication. For instance, phrases like "have repeat offending" and "have mistake affter strict measure" could be improved for precision and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, the writer should strive for clarity and accuracy in their language. Instead of using vague phrases like "have repeat offending," they could employ more specific terms like "engage in repeat criminal behavior." Similarly, replacing "have mistake affter strict measure" with "continue to make errors despite stringent measures" would improve the precision and coherence of the message.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several spelling errors, such as "reofend," "thay," "commting," "numbber," "preson," "conffidence," "againt," "atmostphere," "hight," "enought," and "preoplem." These errors detract from the overall professionalism and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should prioritize proofreading and utilize tools such as spell checkers to identify and correct errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through regular writing exercises and reviewing commonly misspelled words can help improve accuracy over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 4

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a noticeable lack of complexity and sophistication in the sentence structures utilized. Most sentences are structurally simple, with limited variation in sentence length and construction. For example, "It is true that punishment do not always deter criminals from commting more crimes" presents a simple subject-verb-object structure without much complexity. Additionally, there is a tendency to repeat certain phrases or sentence patterns, which contributes to the lack of variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and complexity, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound-complex sentences. This can be achieved by utilizing subordinate clauses, participial phrases, gerund phrases, and other advanced structures. Varying sentence length and using rhetorical devices such as parallelism can also add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits numerous grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ("punishment do not"), incorrect word choices ("criminers" instead of "criminals"), missing articles ("the criminers"), and punctuation errors (missing commas, inconsistent capitalization). These errors hinder the clarity and coherence of the essay, making it challenging for the reader to follow the writer’s arguments effectively.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on thorough proofreading and editing. It’s essential to review each sentence carefully for errors in subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and word choice. Additionally, paying attention to punctuation rules, such as proper comma placement and capitalization, can significantly enhance the readability of the essay. Seeking feedback from peers or instructors and practicing grammar exercises can also help reinforce correct usage.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that punishments do not always deter criminals from committing more crimes. There are several reasons why offenders repeatedly break the law, and several solutions should be adapted in order to improve the situation.

There are major reasons why criminals have repeat offenses after a prison sentence. The first reason for this is the lack of rehabilitation. When they lack the confidence of people around them, they often tend to behave against societal norms, which leads them to experience repeated punishment. Furthermore, financial concerns are considered a cause. For example, criminals find it difficult to secure employment in conducive environments with high salaries like law-abiding citizens. Therefore, they cannot earn sufficient money for themselves and are more likely to offend.

Fortunately, several measures could be taken to deal with this problem. The first solution would be for governments to introduce programs that help criminals rehabilitate within the community, as well as encourage them to become better individuals. This could involve creating volunteer activities and support programs for criminals. The second measure would be strictly supervising them and raising awareness about life lessons to decrease repeating offenses.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons why criminals continue to make mistakes after facing strict measures, and steps need to be implemented to tackle this phenomenon.