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Many museums should be free of admission charge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums should be free of admission charge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Given the importance of cultural awareness towards a country, it is essential that the government subsidise venues featuring traditions and cultures like museums to ensure increased accessibility to national cultures. Although I see that the decision to subsidise museum entrance must be coupled with certain conditions, I believe that such a system pays big dividends for both knowledge seekers and the government.
My practical argument in support of free museum admission is that it means cultural enrichment for many otherwise marginalized individuals, thus instrumental in promoting inclusivity. In fact, an effective subsidy program ensures that museums, institutions of cultural and historical significance, become vibrant hubs of knowledge and inspiration accessible to all. Although some that making museums free will increase the burden on taxpayers, the long-term benefits of a culturally enriched society, including enhanced creativity, critical thinking, and social cohesion, will ultimately outweigh the costs.
A political approach points in a similar direction. Administering a free museum system is a part of the basic package of services that a government, justly elected by the people, owes its members. It is sensible to see taxes collected from the public being channelled back into the public sectors, in this case, removing admission charges to museums. Also, with so much resources vested in them, only the government, more than any other entity, has the capacity to deliver a funded museum system on a synchronous level.
However, a government-funded system undeniably comes in with its share of problems. When museum entrance is publicly subsidised, the competition among institutions is absent, institutional accountability is annoyingly low and customer power is weak. Few museums in this kind of setting will think much about profit, and even fewer about customers. Added to this risk is the problem of prioritizing visitor quantity over quality as evidenced by reports of museum overcrowding and vandalism. Unless these underlying issues are addressed, even a free museum experience is anything but desirable. If anything, investing resources in tackling these issues head-on could have an even greater impact on the quality of museums than simply making them free.
In conclusion, given that a culturally-informed population prerequisite for innovation and growth, it is reasonable to expect free museum entrance from the government. However, it should be provided on the premise that problems underlying this policy should be addressed, and the best in museum exhibition should be made available to all the citizens.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "pay big dividends" -> "yield significant benefits"
    Explanation: Replacing "pay big dividends" with "yield significant benefits" maintains the idea of positive outcomes while adopting a more formal and sophisticated expression.

  2. "that making museums free" -> "that making museums accessible"
    Explanation: Changing "that making museums free" to "that making museums accessible" clarifies the argument and avoids potential ambiguity, aligning with a more formal tone.

  3. "Administering a free museum system" -> "Implementing a system of free museum access"
    Explanation: Substituting "Administering a free museum system" with "Implementing a system of free museum access" improves formality and precision in describing the government’s role in providing free access to museums.

  4. "annoyingly low" -> "unfortunately low"
    Explanation: Replacing "annoyingly low" with "unfortunately low" maintains the negative connotation while using a more formal expression.

  5. "unless neccessary" -> "unless necessary"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error in "unless neccessary" to "unless necessary" ensures proper usage and maintains formal language.

  6. "it is reasonable to expect free museum entrance" -> "it is reasonable to anticipate complimentary access to museums"
    Explanation: Substituting "it is reasonable to expect free museum entrance" with "it is reasonable to anticipate complimentary access to museums" adds a level of formality and specificity to the statement.

  7. "problems underlying this policy" -> "challenges inherent in this policy"
    Explanation: Changing "problems underlying this policy" to "challenges inherent in this policy" introduces a more formal and precise term, enhancing the overall academic tone.

  8. "best in museum exhibition" -> "finest museum exhibitions"
    Explanation: Replacing "best in museum exhibition" with "finest museum exhibitions" conveys the idea with a more sophisticated and formal expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "Although I see that the decision to subsidise museum entrance must be coupled with certain conditions, I believe that such a system pays big dividends for both knowledge seekers and the government."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your introduction sets the tone for your essay by expressing a nuanced view. However, it lacks clarity regarding the specific conditions you suggest. To enhance your task response, clearly outline the conditions required for subsidizing museum entrance. For instance, you could specify the need for income-based eligibility criteria or the implementation of educational programs alongside free admission to ensure the promotion of cultural awareness.
    • Improved example: "While I advocate for subsidized museum entrance, I contend that certain conditions, such as income-based eligibility and the integration of educational programs, are crucial for the effective implementation of this policy."
  2. Quoted text: "Administering a free museum system is a part of the basic package of services that a government, justly elected by the people, owes its members."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your political argument is well-articulated, emphasizing the government’s responsibility. However, you could strengthen your response by providing a concrete example or illustration of a government successfully implementing a free museum system. This would add depth to your argument and showcase practical benefits.
    • Improved example: "A compelling example is the Scandinavian countries, where governments prioritize cultural accessibility. Denmark’s commitment to free entry to national museums exemplifies how a government fulfills its duty to provide cultural opportunities to its citizens."
  3. Quoted text: "However, a government-funded system undeniably comes in with its share of problems."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: You rightly acknowledge potential issues, but your essay lacks specificity regarding the problems associated with a government-funded system. To enhance your response, pinpoint one or two specific challenges, such as a lack of competition leading to complacency or potential misallocation of funds. This will provide a more focused and detailed analysis.
    • Improved example: "However, a government-funded system undeniably comes with its share of problems, including a lack of competition among museums, potentially resulting in complacency and a decline in the overall quality of exhibits."

Overall, your essay addresses all parts of the task, presents a clear position, and supports ideas with relevant examples. To improve, focus on providing specific conditions for subsidizing museum entrance and enhance the depth of your analysis by offering concrete examples and details.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, contributing to coherence. The central topic within each paragraph is generally clear. However, there are instances of slightly overusing certain cohesive devices, and there’s room for improvement in maintaining a more balanced use. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, but there are a few instances where it could be more logically structured.

How to Improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices to avoid slight overuse and maintain a more balanced approach. Ensure that paragraphing is consistently logical throughout the essay. Review transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to the use of pronouns to avoid any ambiguity and improve overall clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of vocabulary, employing a range of words and expressions effectively. There is evidence of less common lexical items, contributing to flexibility and precision in language use. The writer also showcases an awareness of style and collocation, enhancing the overall quality of the essay. While occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively conveys ideas with a good level of coherence and clarity.

How to improve:
To further enhance the lexical resource, the writer could aim for more varied sentence structures to demonstrate an even greater command of language. Additionally, attention to eliminating minor errors in word choice and spelling would contribute to a more polished presentation. Consider incorporating a wider array of vocabulary to elevate the essay’s sophistication, particularly in addressing potential counterarguments or presenting nuanced viewpoints.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical range and accuracy overall. The writer exhibits an ability to use a variety of complex structures throughout the essay. Complex sentences, such as the ones used to express conditional statements and present contrasting viewpoints, are effectively employed. There is a successful attempt to showcase grammatical variety and complexity, contributing to the essay’s coherence and depth.

The majority of the sentences are error-free, maintaining good control over grammar and punctuation. There are occasional errors, although these errors are infrequent and don’t significantly impede understanding or communication. The essay manages to convey ideas with clarity and precision, exhibiting a strong command of language usage.

The writer skillfully integrates diverse sentence structures and demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical conventions. However, a few minor errors are present, such as issues with article usage and word choice in certain instances, which prevent a higher band score.

How to improve:
To improve and potentially reach a higher band score, the writer should pay more attention to precision in word choice and sentence structure. Reviewing the use of articles (‘a’, ‘an’, ‘the’) and ensuring consistent application could enhance the overall clarity of expression. Moreover, meticulous proofreading to identify and rectify minor errors would contribute to a more polished and precise essay.

Additionally, the writer might consider further refining the complexity of sentences by experimenting with more intricate structures to elevate the overall sophistication and depth of the argumentation. This could involve employing a wider range of sentence patterns and using more varied transitional phrases to enhance coherence and fluidity within the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Recognizing the significance of cultural awareness within a nation, it is crucial for the government to subsidize venues that showcase traditions and cultures, such as museums, to ensure broader access to national heritage. While I acknowledge the need for certain conditions when subsidizing museum entrance, I firmly believe that implementing such a system yields substantial benefits for both knowledge seekers and the government.

A practical argument in favor of free museum admission is its contribution to cultural enrichment for many who might otherwise be marginalized, thereby promoting inclusivity. A well-executed subsidy program ensures that museums, integral to preserving cultural and historical heritage, become vibrant hubs of knowledge and inspiration accessible to everyone. Although concerns may arise about the potential burden on taxpayers, the long-term advantages of fostering a culturally enriched society, including heightened creativity, critical thinking, and social cohesion, will ultimately outweigh the associated costs.

From a political standpoint, offering free museum access aligns with the basic services that a government, elected by the people, owes its citizens. It is reasonable to see taxes collected from the public reinvested in the public sector, specifically eliminating admission charges to museums. Moreover, given the substantial resources required, only the government, more than any other entity, possesses the capacity to establish a well-funded museum system at a synchronized level.

However, a government-funded system undeniably presents challenges. Publicly subsidizing museum entrance eliminates competition among institutions, resulting in low institutional accountability and weak customer influence. In such a setting, few museums may prioritize profit, and even fewer may prioritize the needs of visitors. This scenario also raises concerns about prioritizing quantity over quality, evident in reports of museum overcrowding and vandalism. Addressing these underlying issues is essential, as merely providing a free museum experience may not be desirable. Redirecting resources to confront these challenges head-on could potentially have a more significant impact on the overall quality of museums than simply making them free.

In conclusion, given that a culturally-informed population is a prerequisite for innovation and growth, it is reasonable to expect the government to provide free museum entrance. However, this should be contingent upon addressing the underlying issues associated with this policy, ensuring that the best in museum exhibitions is made available to all citizens.

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