Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality,high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Other, however, think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether giving opinions on teachers is a sensitive issue bears some consideration. This essay agrees that it is more beneficial for both pupils and educators to have freedom to take notes with each others dua to practising students with their critical thinking and improving the lessons' quality.
It must be recognised that educational target nowadays is to help pupils become familiar with using critical thinking skills. This is because scholars have to give their reasons to support their teachers evaluations. Otherwise, instructors can solve problems with their students can Hel them improve this skill. Therefore, contributing comments is a good teaching method.
However,there are various individuals believe that students who make comments on their educators are impertinent. It must be noted that educators impart knowledge and experience to learners so they should not be criticized. This may be true but various teachers rely on that thought to neglect their obligations. For example,in one English classes which I used to study has an irresponsible teacher. He superficially instructed the class and when learners complained about his attitude,he shouted out that he did not like his job because he understood we could not report him.
This is the writer opinion that the high quality classes are built by mutual learning between scholars and educators. It is the fact that students must tell instructors about their appreciate learning needs to have the best lessons arrangements . Moreover, the teachers receives the negative attitudes of the students without knowing the reasons.
In conclusion,it must be clear that evaluating teachers may upset them but it cannot be denied that this will strengthen the relationship between pupils and educators. I opine that teachers can be criticized has more advantages based on the development of class' environment and the importance of criticism in recent days.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"giving opinions on teachers" -> "expressing opinions about teachers"
Explanation: "Expressing opinions about teachers" is more formal and precise, aligning better with academic language by specifying the action of sharing thoughts about teachers rather than the more casual "giving opinions on."
"bears some consideration" -> "warrants consideration"
Explanation: "Warrants consideration" is a more formal expression that enhances the academic tone, suggesting that the issue requires thoughtful examination rather than the less formal "bears some consideration."
"with each others" -> "with each other"
Explanation: "With each other" is the correct phrase for indicating mutual action or interaction, correcting the grammatical error in the original text.
"due to practising students with their critical thinking" -> "to facilitate students’ critical thinking"
Explanation: "To facilitate students’ critical thinking" is more precise and academically appropriate, clearly indicating the purpose of the interaction between teachers and students.
"educational target" -> "educational goal"
Explanation: "Educational goal" is the correct term, as "target" is not typically used in this context in formal academic writing.
"give their reasons to support their teachers evaluations" -> "provide reasons to support their teachers’ evaluations"
Explanation: "Provide reasons to support their teachers’ evaluations" corrects the possessive form and uses a more formal verb, enhancing the sentence structure and clarity.
"can Hel them improve this skill" -> "can help them improve this skill"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "Hel" to "help," ensuring grammatical accuracy and readability.
"there are various individuals believe" -> "many individuals believe"
Explanation: "Many individuals believe" is a more natural and concise way to express the idea, avoiding the awkward construction of "there are various individuals believe."
"impertinent" -> "impertinent" (no change needed)
Explanation: The word "impertinent" is correct and appropriate in this context, referring to behavior that is considered rude or inappropriate.
"educators impart knowledge and experience to learners" -> "educators impart knowledge and expertise to students"
Explanation: Replacing "learners" with "students" and "experience" with "expertise" refines the language to better suit academic standards and specificity.
"He superficially instructed the class" -> "He superficially taught the class"
Explanation: "Taught" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "instructed," which can imply a more formal or administrative role.
"when learners complained about his attitude,he shouted out" -> "when students complained about his attitude, he shouted"
Explanation: Corrects the grammatical error and removes the contraction "he’s" to maintain formal tone.
"I opine" -> "I believe"
Explanation: "I believe" is a more straightforward and commonly accepted expression in academic writing, replacing the less formal "I opine."
"has more advantages" -> "offers more advantages"
Explanation: "Offers more advantages" is a more formal and precise way to express the benefits, aligning better with academic style.
"the importance of criticism in recent days" -> "the importance of criticism in recent times"
Explanation: "Recent times" is a more formal and appropriate phrase than "recent days," which is less commonly used in formal writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding whether high school students should be encouraged to critique their teachers. The first part discusses the benefits of allowing students to express their opinions, emphasizing the development of critical thinking skills and the improvement of lesson quality. The second part acknowledges the opposing viewpoint that such criticism may lead to disrespect and a lack of discipline. However, the essay could be clearer in delineating the two perspectives, as the arguments are somewhat intertwined and not distinctly separated.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly separate the discussion of each viewpoint into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that explicitly states the viewpoint being discussed, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure will help ensure that all parts of the question are addressed comprehensively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of allowing students to critique their teachers, particularly in the conclusion. However, the position is somewhat muddled in the body paragraphs, where the arguments for both sides are mixed. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of student feedback to the criticism of teachers is not smooth, which may confuse readers about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position throughout the essay, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument will help clarify the writer’s stance. Each paragraph should reinforce the main argument rather than introducing conflicting ideas without clear connections.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of student feedback and the potential drawbacks of criticism. However, the support for these ideas is sometimes weak or unclear. For example, the anecdote about the irresponsible teacher lacks depth and fails to connect back to the main argument effectively. Additionally, some points are made without sufficient elaboration or evidence, which diminishes their impact.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This could include specific instances of how student feedback has led to improvements in teaching or learning outcomes. Furthermore, integrating research or statistics on the effects of student evaluations on educational quality could provide a more robust foundation for the arguments.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of student feedback on teachers. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the discussion about the teacher’s response to criticism, which could distract from the main argument. The phrase "various teachers rely on that thought to neglect their obligations" introduces a new idea that is not fully explored and could confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central question of whether students should be encouraged to critique their teachers. Avoid introducing tangential ideas that do not support the main argument. Each paragraph should clearly relate to the prompt, reinforcing the discussion of both views and the writer’s opinion without diverging into unrelated territory.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of allowing students to provide feedback on their teachers, which is a strong point. The introduction outlines the topic and the writer’s stance effectively. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of student feedback to the potential drawbacks is somewhat abrupt. The essay lacks clear topic sentences in some paragraphs, which would help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "On the other hand," "Furthermore," "In contrast") can help signal shifts in the argument and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure is inconsistent. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be separated for clarity. For example, the paragraph discussing the negative perception of student feedback mixes examples and general statements, which can confuse the reader. The conclusion is also somewhat repetitive and could be more concise.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. For instance, the paragraph that critiques the notion of students being impertinent could be split into two: one focusing on the argument against student feedback and another providing examples of how feedback can lead to positive change. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear concluding sentence can help reinforce the main point before moving on to the next idea.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "therefore," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences feel disjointed. For example, the phrase "this may be true but various teachers rely on that thought" could benefit from a more explicit connection to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "additionally," "consequently," or "in contrast" can provide clearer connections between ideas. Moreover, ensuring that pronouns and synonyms are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can enhance cohesion within and between paragraphs.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improvements in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "critical thinking," "educators," and "impertinent." However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances where more sophisticated or varied vocabulary could enhance the argument. For example, phrases like "educational target" and "mutual learning" are somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with synonyms or more nuanced expressions to show a broader lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "educators," alternatives like "instructors," "teachers," or "facilitators" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "fostering critical thinking" instead of "help pupils become familiar with using critical thinking skills" would improve lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "take notes with each others dua to practising students" is unclear and seems to misuse "dua," which is likely a typographical error. Furthermore, "educational target" is not a commonly used phrase in English, which may confuse readers about the intended meaning. The phrase "the high quality classes are built by mutual learning" could also be more clearly expressed.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. For example, instead of "educational target," a more precise term like "educational objective" could be used. Additionally, proofreading for clarity and coherence will help ensure that vocabulary is used correctly. Engaging in exercises that focus on context-specific vocabulary can also aid in improving precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality of the writing. Words like "dua," "scholars," "evaluations," and "appreciate" are either misspelled or used incorrectly in context. For instance, "dua" appears to be a typographical error, and "appreciate" should be "appreciation" in the context used. Such errors can lead to misunderstandings and reduce the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should take time to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through targeted exercises, such as flashcards or spelling quizzes, can reinforce correct spelling of commonly used academic vocabulary.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument and attempts to engage with the topic, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will help elevate the Lexical Resource score. Engaging in regular reading and writing practice, along with targeted vocabulary exercises, can significantly enhance these areas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex structures. For example, the sentence "This essay agrees that it is more beneficial for both pupils and educators to have freedom to take notes with each others" is straightforward but lacks complexity. Additionally, the use of phrases like "it must be recognised" and "it is the fact that" indicates a reliance on certain structures rather than a variety of grammatical forms.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses, conditional phrases, and varied sentence beginnings. For instance, instead of saying "It must be recognised that educational target nowadays is to help pupils become familiar," the writer could use a complex structure: "While it is essential to recognize that the educational target nowadays is to help pupils become familiar with critical thinking skills, it is equally important to consider the implications of student feedback on teaching methods."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "due to practising students with their critical thinking" should be "due to practicing critical thinking skills among students." Additionally, there are punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases (e.g., "However, there are various individuals believe…") and incorrect spacing (e.g., "However,there are various individuals"). The misuse of articles and verb forms, such as "the teachers receives" instead of "teachers receive," also detracts from grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper article usage, and correct verb forms. Practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas and spacing, will also enhance clarity. A useful strategy is to proofread the essay multiple times, focusing on one type of error at a time (e.g., first checking for subject-verb agreement, then punctuation). Additionally, using grammar-checking tools can help identify and correct errors before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument, improving the range of sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Whether expressing opinions about teachers is a sensitive issue warrants consideration. This essay agrees that it is more beneficial for both pupils and educators to have the freedom to provide feedback to each other, as this practice facilitates students’ critical thinking and improves the quality of lessons.

It must be recognized that the educational goal nowadays is to help pupils become familiar with using critical thinking skills. This is because students need to provide reasons to support their evaluations of their teachers. Otherwise, instructors may not be able to address issues effectively, which can help them improve this skill. Therefore, contributing comments is a valuable teaching method.

However, many individuals believe that students who make comments about their educators are being impertinent. It must be noted that educators impart knowledge and expertise to learners, so they should not be criticized. While this perspective may hold some truth, many teachers rely on this notion to neglect their responsibilities. For example, in one English class I attended, there was an irresponsible teacher who superficially taught the class. When students complained about his attitude, he shouted that he did not like his job, believing that we could not report him.

I believe that high-quality classes are built on mutual learning between students and educators. It is essential for students to communicate their learning needs to ensure the best lesson arrangements. Moreover, teachers often receive negative feedback from students without understanding the reasons behind it.

In conclusion, it must be clear that evaluating teachers may upset them, but it cannot be denied that this practice can strengthen the relationship between pupils and educators. I opine that allowing teachers to be criticized offers more advantages, particularly in terms of enhancing the classroom environment and recognizing the importance of criticism in recent times.