Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and on environmentally friendly mode transport. However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What reasons for that? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?
Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and on environmentally friendly mode transport. However, it is still unpopular in many countries. What reasons for that? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population?
It is sometimes argued that riding bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly mean of transport. However, bicycle is unlikely to be used everyday in many countries. This essay will discuss the reasons and solutions to the perceived problem.
There are two primary reasons why that cycling is uncommon when people choose mode of transport. One reason is that riding a bicycle would consume a considerable time to travel by other means of transport. Today, life is busier, many people want to spend little time on road as possible. They would prefer motorbike or car to bicycle. For instance, when they use motorbike or car as a mean of transport to work, they have more time to prepare breakfast, or even make up and wear. What is more, cycling make people feel tired or even stressed when they move on road. Therefore, this discourage people from choosing bicycle, especially on hot and sunny day. To illustrate, people participating in traffic could be mentally stressed by the sound of horn and engine.
Fortunately, several measures could be taken to improve cycling. The first solution would be more lanes should be built to serve only bicycle, which could maintain a steady space without fear of any obstacles. Consequently, this significantly reduce travel time and making cycling a more efficient and attractive mode of transport. A typical example of this is that Amsterdam have invested heavily in bike lanes, resulting in an increase in cycling rate and a decrease in traffic congestion. A second measure would be building more bike parks near metro stations. Therefore, people can cycle a short road from their home to station, then they can go to work by metro.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for using less bicycle than other means of transport, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"riding bicycle" -> "riding a bicycle"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "bicycle" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with standard English usage. -
"good and environmentally friendly mean of transport" -> "a good and environmentally friendly mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is the correct term, and "a" should precede "good" for grammatical accuracy. -
"bicycle is unlikely to be used everyday" -> "bicycles are not commonly used daily"
Explanation: "Bicycles" should be plural to match the context, and "not commonly used daily" is more precise and formal than "unlikely to be used everyday." -
"mode of transport" -> "mode of transportation"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology is important; "mode of transportation" is the correct form. -
"would consume a considerable time" -> "would consume considerable time"
Explanation: Removing "a" before "considerable" corrects the grammatical structure, making the phrase more natural and formal. -
"spend little time on road as possible" -> "minimize time spent on the road"
Explanation: "Minimize time spent on the road" is more precise and formal than "spend little time on road as possible." -
"as a mean of transport" -> "as a means of transportation"
Explanation: "Means" should be plural and "transportation" is the correct term. -
"make people feel tired or even stressed" -> "cause people to feel tired or even stressed"
Explanation: "Cause" is more formal and precise than "make" in this context. -
"move on road" -> "travel on the road"
Explanation: "Travel on the road" is a more formal and accurate expression. -
"discourage people from choosing bicycle" -> "discourage people from choosing bicycles"
Explanation: "Bicycles" should be plural to match the general context. -
"on hot and sunny day" -> "on hot and sunny days"
Explanation: "Days" should be plural to reflect the general condition. -
"participating in traffic" -> "participating in traffic conditions"
Explanation: "Traffic conditions" is a more specific and formal term than "traffic." -
"more lanes should be built to serve only bicycle" -> "more lanes should be built exclusively for bicycles"
Explanation: "Exclusively for bicycles" is more precise and formal. -
"making cycling a more efficient and attractive mode of transport" -> "making cycling a more efficient and attractive mode of transportation"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology is maintained by using "mode of transportation." -
"Amsterdam have invested heavily" -> "Amsterdam has invested heavily"
Explanation: "Has" is the correct verb form for the singular subject "Amsterdam." -
"bike parks near metro stations" -> "bike parks near metro stations"
Explanation: No change needed here, as "bike parks" is correct and clear. -
"cycle a short road from their home to station" -> "cycle a short distance from their home to the station"
Explanation: "Distance" is more appropriate than "road," and "the station" is more formal than "station."
These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for the unpopularity of bicycles and suggesting solutions to encourage their use. The reasons provided include time consumption and the physical exertion associated with cycling, which are relevant to the question. The solutions proposed, such as building dedicated bike lanes and bike parks, are practical and directly related to the issue at hand. However, the essay could have included more reasons or elaborated further on the existing ones to provide a more comprehensive response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could explore additional reasons for the unpopularity of bicycles, such as safety concerns or lack of awareness about the benefits of cycling. Furthermore, providing more detailed examples or statistics could strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that cycling is a beneficial mode of transport but is underutilized. This stance is evident from the introduction and is consistently supported throughout the essay. However, the phrasing in the introduction could be clearer; for instance, stating "the bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport" would be more direct than "riding bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly mean of transport."
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should ensure that the position is articulated more explicitly in the introduction. Additionally, reinforcing this position in the conclusion by summarizing the main arguments and reiterating the benefits of cycling could enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for the lack of cycling and potential solutions. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the essay mentions that cycling can be tiring, it does not delve into how this perception could be changed or countered. The examples provided, such as Amsterdam’s bike lanes, are relevant but could be expanded upon to illustrate the effectiveness of such measures more convincingly.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate more on each point. This could involve discussing the potential impact of the proposed solutions in greater detail, perhaps by providing evidence from studies or examples from other cities that have successfully increased cycling rates.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the low popularity of bicycles and suggesting solutions. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused. For instance, the mention of stress from traffic sounds could be better connected to the overall argument about why people might avoid cycling.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point directly relates back to the main question. It may help to outline the essay before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the prompt. Additionally, avoiding tangential ideas that do not directly support the main argument will help keep the essay concise and relevant.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, but there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and cohesion.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons for the unpopularity of bicycles, and proposed solutions. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the reasons to the solutions feels abrupt. The first body paragraph outlines two reasons for the lack of bicycle use, but the connection between these reasons and the subsequent solutions is not explicitly made. This could confuse readers about how the solutions directly address the problems identified.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link the reasons to the solutions. For example, after discussing the reasons, a sentence like, "To address these challenges, several measures can be implemented" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea can help guide the reader through the argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first paragraph discusses the reasons for the lack of bicycle use, while the second addresses potential solutions. However, the first body paragraph could be further divided into two distinct paragraphs: one for each reason. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: Consider breaking the first body paragraph into two separate paragraphs, one focusing on the time consumption aspect and the other on the physical exertion and stress associated with cycling. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for more detailed explanations and examples, which would strengthen the overall argument.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "for instance," and "therefore," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and some sentences lack clear connections. For example, the phrase "What is more" is used, but it could be more effectively replaced with a stronger cohesive device that indicates a contrast or addition to the previous point.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of using "what is more," you might use "in addition," "furthermore," or "conversely" to indicate contrast or addition. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain coherence. For example, instead of repeating "bicycle," you could use "this mode of transport" in subsequent references.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By improving the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and enhancing the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "environmentally friendly," "considerable time," and "traffic congestion." However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly with the word "bicycle," which appears frequently without variation. Phrases like "mean of transport" could be replaced with alternatives such as "mode of transportation" or "form of transport" to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "bicycle," they could use "bike," "cycle," or "two-wheeler." Additionally, incorporating more descriptive adjectives and adverbs could enrich the text, such as "efficient" or "sustainable" to describe cycling.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "riding bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly mean of transport" should be "riding a bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly means of transport." The use of "mean" instead of "means" is a grammatical error that affects clarity. Additionally, the phrase "this discourage people" should be "this discourages people" to maintain subject-verb agreement.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should pay close attention to grammatical structures and ensure that they are using the correct forms of words. Regularly reviewing grammar rules and practicing sentence construction can help. Furthermore, using a thesaurus to find the right word in context can improve precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "bicycle" (used correctly in most instances), "mean" (should be "means"), and "make" (should be "makes"). The phrase "on road" should be "on the road," indicating a missing article. These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps by creating flashcards for commonly misspelled words. Additionally, proofreading the essay multiple times or using spell-check tools can help catch errors before submission. Reading more extensively can also improve spelling through exposure to correct forms.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and practicing spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, simple sentences such as "This essay will discuss the reasons and solutions to the perceived problem." are used effectively to introduce the essay’s purpose. However, the use of complex and compound sentences is limited. For example, the sentence "One reason is that riding a bicycle would consume a considerable time to travel by other means of transport." could be enhanced by combining it with another clause to create a more complex structure, such as "One reason is that riding a bicycle would consume considerable time, especially when compared to faster means of transport." This would not only improve the variety of structures but also clarify the comparison being made.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex and compound sentences. This can be achieved by combining ideas using conjunctions (e.g., "and," "but," "although") and relative clauses (e.g., "which," "that"). Additionally, incorporating varied sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases) can enhance the overall flow and complexity of the writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, the phrase "riding bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly mean of transport" should be corrected to "riding a bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly means of transport." Additionally, the sentence "This essay will discuss the reasons and solutions to the perceived problem." is grammatically correct, but the use of "the perceived problem" is vague and could be more specific. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "cycling make people feel tired," which should be "cycling makes people feel tired." Punctuation errors include the lack of commas in compound sentences, such as in "Today, life is busier, many people want to spend little time on road as possible," which should be split into two sentences or connected with a conjunction.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review basic grammar rules, particularly focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles (e.g., "a bicycle" instead of "bicycle"). Practicing sentence structure through writing exercises can also help. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules regarding the use of commas, especially in compound sentences, to ensure clarity and proper flow. Reading more academic essays can provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context, aiding in the writer’s understanding and application of these rules.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, enhancing grammatical range and accuracy will significantly improve the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is sometimes argued that riding a bicycle is a good and environmentally friendly mode of transportation. However, bicycles are not commonly used daily in many countries. This essay will discuss the reasons for this issue and propose solutions to encourage greater bicycle use among the wider population.
There are two primary reasons why cycling is uncommon when people choose their mode of transportation. One reason is that riding a bicycle would consume considerable time compared to other means of transport. Today, life is busier, and many people want to minimize the time spent on the road as much as possible. They would prefer a motorbike or car to a bicycle. For instance, when they use a motorbike or car as a means of transportation to work, they have more time to prepare breakfast or even apply makeup. Furthermore, cycling can cause people to feel tired or even stressed when they travel on the road. Therefore, this discourages people from choosing bicycles, especially on hot and sunny days. To illustrate, individuals participating in traffic could be mentally stressed by the sounds of horns and engines.
Fortunately, several measures could be taken to improve cycling. The first solution would be to build more lanes exclusively for bicycles, which could maintain a steady space without the fear of obstacles. Consequently, this would significantly reduce travel time and make cycling a more efficient and attractive mode of transportation. A typical example of this is that Amsterdam has invested heavily in bike lanes, resulting in an increase in cycling rates and a decrease in traffic congestion. A second measure would be to construct more bike parks near metro stations. This way, people can cycle a short distance from their homes to the station, and then they can continue their journey to work by metro.
In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for the lower usage of bicycles compared to other means of transport, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.