Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In the contemporary era, more and more people are starting to notice a healthy lifestyle. Some people contend that living in the countryside facilitates a healthier lifestyle, while others advocate that urban living offers its own set of health benefits. This essay will examine both notions and express my own perspective.

On the one hand, advocates for cities have grounds to assert that urban living offers its own set of health benefits. Firstly, cities provide a wide range of recreational facilities , fitness centers, and sport clubs, which cater to diverse interests and fitness levels. Hence, it offers convenience and accessibility, enabling individuals to engage in various physical activities regardless of their busy schedules. In addition, cities offer an array of healthcare facilities, specialized medical services and a large pool of healthcare professionals. In fact, access to quality healthcare is often more readily available in urban areas, allowing individuals to address health concerns promptly and receive necessary treatments.

On the other hand, proponents of living in the countryside argue that it facilitates a healthier lifestyle. First and foremost, the countryside offers ample space for outdoor activities and exercise, such as jogging, cycling, and hiking. To be more precise, the abundance of natural landscapes, and fresh air provides opportunities for individuals to engage in physical activities , promoting cardiovascular fitness, and overall well-being. Furthermore, the availability of fresh and locally sourced produce in the countryside is often seen as an advantage for maintaining a healthy diet. Access to organic fruits, vegetables, and farm-to-table products is perceived to be more convenient and affordable in rural areas. Additionally, the absence of fast food chains and the prevalence of traditional cooking methods in the countryside contribute to healthier eating habits.

Both the countryside and cities offer unique health benefits, and the choice between the two depends on individual preferences and circumstances. The countryside provides a serene, nature-filled environment, facilitating physical activities and reducing stress, and offers the advantage of fresh and locally sourced food. Meanwhile, cities provide diverse fitness opportunities, access to specialized healthcare. Ultimately, it is essential to strike a balance between the advantages of both settings and adapt one’s lifestyle to maximize the available opportunities for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, both living in the countryside and living in cities have their own benefits for people’s health. Thus, I believe that striking a balance between them is crucial.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"more and more people are starting to notice a healthy lifestyle" -> "an increasing number of individuals are adopting a healthy lifestyle"
Explanation: The phrase "more and more people are starting to notice" is somewhat informal and vague. "An increasing number of individuals are adopting" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"Some people contend" -> "Some argue"
Explanation: "Contend" can imply a more adversarial or disputatious tone, which may not be appropriate in this context. "Argue" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term.
"advocates for cities have grounds to assert" -> "advocates for cities have valid reasons to argue"
Explanation: "Have grounds to assert" is somewhat awkward and less common. "Have valid reasons to argue" is clearer and more direct, enhancing the formal tone.
"cities provide a wide range of recreational facilities" -> "cities offer a diverse range of recreational facilities"
Explanation: "Provide" is less specific than "offer," which implies a more active provision of services. "Diverse range" is also more precise than "wide range," which is somewhat vague.
"enabling individuals to engage in various physical activities" -> "enabling individuals to participate in various physical activities"
Explanation: "Engage in" is slightly informal and less specific than "participate in," which is more commonly used in formal academic writing.
"an array of healthcare facilities" -> "a variety of healthcare facilities"
Explanation: "Array" is less common in this context and can be replaced with "variety," which is more typical in formal writing.
"specialized medical services and a large pool of healthcare professionals" -> "specialized medical services and a substantial pool of healthcare professionals"
Explanation: "Large" is somewhat vague; "substantial" provides a more precise and formal alternative.
"First and foremost" -> "primarily"
Explanation: "First and foremost" is a colloquial expression; "primarily" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"the countryside offers ample space for outdoor activities" -> "the countryside offers ample opportunities for outdoor activities"
Explanation: "Ample space" is somewhat vague; "ample opportunities" is more specific and formal.
"the abundance of natural landscapes, and fresh air" -> "the abundance of natural landscapes and fresh air"
Explanation: Removing the comma after "landscapes" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more formal and correct.
"promoting cardiovascular fitness, and overall well-being" -> "promoting cardiovascular fitness and overall well-being"
Explanation: Removing the comma after "fitness" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with formal writing standards.
"the absence of fast food chains" -> "the scarcity of fast food chains"
Explanation: "Absence" implies a complete lack, which might not be accurate; "scarcity" better conveys the idea of limited availability.
"the prevalence of traditional cooking methods" -> "the prevalence of traditional cooking methods"
Explanation: No change needed here, as the phrase is already formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"it is essential to strike a balance" -> "it is crucial to achieve a balance"
Explanation: "Strike a balance" is a metaphorical expression; "achieve a balance" is more direct and formal, fitting the academic style better.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the health benefits of living in the countryside versus the city. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages of urban living, such as access to recreational facilities and healthcare services. The second body paragraph outlines the benefits of rural living, emphasizing outdoor activities and access to fresh produce. The essay concludes by acknowledging that both environments offer unique advantages, which aligns well with the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about health benefits in both settings. For instance, citing studies that show the impact of green spaces on mental health in urban areas or the nutritional benefits of locally sourced food in rural areas would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges the merits of both lifestyles while ultimately advocating for a balanced approach. The phrase "it is essential to strike a balance" indicates a well-defined stance. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction to guide the reader more effectively.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the introduction could explicitly state the author’s preference for balancing both lifestyles rather than simply stating that the essay will express a perspective. This would help reinforce the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly, and the essay extends them by providing reasons and examples. For instance, the discussion of recreational facilities in cities and the availability of fresh produce in the countryside is well-articulated. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For example, while the essay mentions the "absence of fast food chains" in the countryside, it does not explore how this directly impacts health outcomes.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the essay could include more detailed examples or personal anecdotes that illustrate the points made. Additionally, integrating counterarguments or addressing potential drawbacks of each lifestyle could provide a more nuanced discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the health benefits of both urban and rural living without deviating from the prompt. Each paragraph clearly relates back to the central theme of health and lifestyle, demonstrating a strong adherence to the topic.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the main question can enhance coherence. For instance, explicitly linking the benefits discussed to overall health outcomes could reinforce the relevance of each argument to the prompt.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the task effectively, achieving a strong band score of 8. With some enhancements in examples, clarity of position, and deeper exploration of ideas, it could potentially reach a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intention to discuss both views. Each viewpoint is explored in separate paragraphs, which helps maintain clarity. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the health benefits of urban living, while the second body paragraph shifts focus to the countryside. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the arguments and reiterates the writer’s opinion, reinforcing the essay’s coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs to guide the reader through the argument. For example, at the beginning of the second body paragraph, a phrase like "Conversely" or "On the other hand" could be used to signal the shift in focus more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs, with each one focusing on a distinct aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs each tackle a different viewpoint, and the conclusion wraps up the discussion. This structure aids in readability and helps the reader follow the argument without confusion.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Urban living presents several health advantages that cater to modern lifestyles," to provide a clearer focus for the reader.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "On the other hand," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the argument. The use of these devices contributes to the overall coherence of the essay, allowing the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning effectively.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "Firstly" and "In addition," you might use "Moreover," "Furthermore," or "Additionally" to introduce new points. Additionally, employing phrases that summarize or contrast ideas, such as "In contrast" or "Nevertheless," could enhance the essay’s cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing ideas and using cohesive devices to guide the reader. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can elevate their essay to an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of health and lifestyle. Terms such as "recreational facilities," "healthcare professionals," "cardiovascular fitness," and "farm-to-table products" indicate an ability to use topic-specific language effectively. However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay’s depth. For example, the phrase "health benefits" is repeated multiple times, which could be substituted with synonyms like "health advantages" or "wellness benefits" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should strive to incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. Keeping a thesaurus handy while drafting can help identify alternative expressions. Additionally, practicing writing with prompts can encourage the use of diverse vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the abundance of natural landscapes, and fresh air provides opportunities" is slightly awkward due to the comma before "and." This could be rephrased for clarity. Furthermore, the term "advocates for cities" could be more precisely stated as "urban advocates" or "city proponents" to enhance clarity and conciseness.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should review sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing. Additionally, focusing on the context in which words are used will help ensure that the most appropriate terms are chosen.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "contemporary," "facilitates," and "advantage" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer can maintain this standard by regularly practicing spelling through writing exercises and using spell-check tools. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words in English can further solidify spelling skills.

Overall, the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for Lexical Resource due to its effective use of vocabulary, though there is room for improvement in variety and precision. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource further and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, complex sentences such as "While others advocate that urban living offers its own set of health benefits" and "the absence of fast food chains and the prevalence of traditional cooking methods in the countryside contribute to healthier eating habits" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of transitional phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps in structuring the argument clearly. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly with "cities" and "the countryside," which could be varied to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of starting sentences with the subject (e.g., "Cities provide…"), try using adverbial clauses or phrases (e.g., "In urban environments, residents benefit from…"). This can create a more dynamic flow and keep the reader engaged.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For instance, the phrase "the abundance of natural landscapes, and fresh air provides opportunities" contains a punctuation error; the comma before "and" is unnecessary in this context. Additionally, the phrase "access to quality healthcare is often more readily available in urban areas" is well-structured and clear. However, there are minor issues with subject-verb agreement in phrases like "the abundance of natural landscapes, and fresh air provides," where "provides" should be "provide" to agree with the compound subject.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences with compound subjects. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules regarding commas can help eliminate unnecessary punctuation and improve clarity. A thorough proofreading process can assist in catching these minor errors before submission.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of the topic, achieving a strong band score due to its effective use of varied grammatical structures and overall accuracy. With some minor adjustments and a focus on diversifying sentence openings and ensuring grammatical precision, the essay could reach an even higher level of proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, more and more people are starting to notice the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Some people contend that living in the countryside facilitates a healthier lifestyle, while others argue that urban living offers its own set of health benefits. This essay will examine both notions and express my own perspective.

On the one hand, advocates for cities have valid reasons to assert that urban living offers its own set of health benefits. Firstly, cities provide a wide range of recreational facilities, fitness centers, and sports clubs, which cater to diverse interests and fitness levels. Hence, they offer convenience and accessibility, enabling individuals to engage in various physical activities regardless of their busy schedules. In addition, cities offer a variety of healthcare facilities, specialized medical services, and a substantial pool of healthcare professionals. In fact, access to quality healthcare is often more readily available in urban areas, allowing individuals to address health concerns promptly and receive necessary treatments.

On the other hand, proponents of living in the countryside argue that it facilitates a healthier lifestyle. First and foremost, the countryside offers ample space for outdoor activities and exercise, such as jogging, cycling, and hiking. To be more precise, the abundance of natural landscapes and fresh air provides opportunities for individuals to engage in physical activities, promoting cardiovascular fitness and overall well-being. Furthermore, the availability of fresh and locally sourced produce in the countryside is often seen as an advantage for maintaining a healthy diet. Access to organic fruits, vegetables, and farm-to-table products is perceived to be more convenient and affordable in rural areas. Additionally, the scarcity of fast food chains and the prevalence of traditional cooking methods in the countryside contribute to healthier eating habits.

Both the countryside and cities offer unique health benefits, and the choice between the two depends on individual preferences and circumstances. The countryside provides a serene, nature-filled environment, facilitating physical activities and reducing stress, while also offering the advantage of fresh and locally sourced food. Meanwhile, cities provide diverse fitness opportunities and access to specialized healthcare. Ultimately, it is crucial to achieve a balance between the advantages of both settings and adapt one’s lifestyle to maximize the available opportunities for maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, both living in the countryside and living in cities have their own benefits for people’s health. Thus, I believe that striking a balance between them is crucial.