Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
DOING WORK – HATE OR HAVE NO TALENT
It is true that many people dislike or have no talent with going through their life doing work.
There are several reasons why this happen in our life.
Firstly, there are a lot of people who do not have nay goals in their work, thus they have no effort for office or duties. As a result of stopping learning the new knowledge and deficiency of experience. For example, in many primary schools, the teachers only complete the lessons without any questions for students, they feel bored and hate teaching repeatably day after day.
Secondly, they have to receive a work which is boring to them. It may be caused by decreasing the demand for work and increasing the number of employees. For instance, in my country, many doctors have not worked for any hospitals due to the storage of healthcare systems, so they must choose another work such as teachers or IT, seller,…
This situation can cause some consequences:
One result is that people will work inefficiently and actively. So this makes their outcome lower and lower, they can not pay for their activities or food. Besides, economic development could be affected by decreasing quality of life.
Furthermore, many people do not have any talent, it is so difficult for them to foster the next generations. As we know, knowledge always changes annually, we must study from experience and oppose difficulty in order to raise our talent.
In conclusion, there are a lot of factors affecting our world, hating or having no talent will reduce our ability. Let us support and try for our life as soon as our country.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
-
"DOING WORK – HATE OR HAVE NO TALENT" -> "Engaging in Work: A Matter of Dislike or Lack of Talent"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks clarity. The revised version uses a more formal structure and precise language, enhancing the academic tone of the essay. -
"It is true that many people dislike or have no talent with going through their life doing work." -> "It is evident that many individuals dislike or lack talent in their professional endeavors."
Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased and informal. The revised version clarifies the meaning and uses more formal vocabulary suitable for academic writing. -
"why this happen in our life" -> "why this occurs in our lives"
Explanation: "why this happen" is grammatically incorrect. "why this occurs" corrects the verb form and uses the plural form "lives" to match the generalization being made. -
"there are a lot of people" -> "there are numerous individuals"
Explanation: "a lot of people" is informal and vague. "Numerous individuals" is more precise and formal, fitting the academic style better. -
"nay goals" -> "no goals"
Explanation: "nay" is an archaic and incorrect usage in this context. "No" is the correct term for negation in modern English. -
"have no effort for office or duties" -> "lack motivation for their work or responsibilities"
Explanation: "have no effort" is awkward and unclear. "Lack motivation" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of being unmotivated. -
"stopping learning the new knowledge" -> "ceasing to acquire new knowledge"
Explanation: "stopping learning" is informal and imprecise. "Ceasing to acquire new knowledge" is more formal and academically appropriate. -
"deficiency of experience" -> "lack of experience"
Explanation: "deficiency of" is redundant and less common in formal writing. "Lack of" is the standard term for expressing absence or insufficiency. -
"the teachers only complete the lessons without any questions for students" -> "teachers merely deliver lessons without engaging students in discussions"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and unclear. The revised version clarifies the action and uses more formal language. -
"they feel bored and hate teaching repeatably day after day" -> "they become disenchanted with teaching and find it repetitive"
Explanation: "feel bored and hate" is informal and lacks precision. "Become disenchanted with" and "find it repetitive" are more formal and accurately convey the emotions and experience. -
"It may be caused by decreasing the demand for work and increasing the number of employees." -> "This may be attributed to decreasing job demand and an increase in the workforce."
Explanation: "It may be caused by" is vague and informal. "This may be attributed to" is more precise and formal, and "job demand" and "workforce" are more specific terms. -
"many doctors have not worked for any hospitals" -> "many doctors are not employed by hospitals"
Explanation: "have not worked for any hospitals" is awkward and informal. "Are not employed by hospitals" is clearer and more formal. -
"storage of healthcare systems" -> "shortages in healthcare systems"
Explanation: "storage" is incorrect in this context. "Shortages" accurately describes the issue in healthcare systems. -
"they must choose another work" -> "they must choose alternative occupations"
Explanation: "another work" is informal and vague. "Alternative occupations" is more precise and formal. -
"seller,…" -> "salespeople, etc."
Explanation: "seller" is singular and incomplete. "Salespeople, etc." is plural and more comprehensive, fitting the context better. -
"people will work inefficiently and actively" -> "people will work inefficiently and ineffectively"
Explanation: "actively" is incorrectly used here; "ineffectively" is the correct term to describe the lack of effectiveness in work. -
"they can not pay for their activities or food" -> "they are unable to cover their expenses or purchase food"
Explanation: "can not" is informal and incorrect. "Are unable to" is more formal and correct. "Cover their expenses or purchase food" is clearer and more precise. -
"economic development could be affected by decreasing quality of life" -> "economic development may be impacted by a decline in the quality of life"
Explanation: "could be affected" is somewhat informal and vague. "May be impacted" is more precise and formal, and "a decline in the quality of life" is a clearer expression. -
"many people do not have any talent" -> "many individuals lack inherent talent"
Explanation
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Task Response: 5
-
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing reasons why people may work in jobs they dislike or for which they lack talent. However, the response is somewhat vague and lacks depth. For instance, the first reason mentioned is about a lack of goals, but it does not clearly connect this to how it leads to working in undesirable jobs. The second reason touches on economic factors but fails to elaborate on how these factors specifically relate to the feelings of hate or lack of talent. The consequences discussed are also not directly tied back to the reasons provided.
- How to improve: To better address all parts of the question, the writer should clearly outline the reasons and consequences in a structured manner. Each reason should be explicitly linked to the feelings of hate or lack of talent, and the consequences should directly stem from these reasons. Including more specific examples or case studies would also enhance the response.
-
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general position regarding the dissatisfaction with work, but it lacks clarity and consistency. The introduction states that many people dislike their work, but the subsequent paragraphs do not consistently reinforce this position. The conclusion introduces a somewhat motivational tone that feels disconnected from the earlier discussion about dissatisfaction.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main argument. A clear thesis statement in the introduction would help guide the reader. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate the position taken in the essay, rather than introducing new ideas.
-
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are underdeveloped and lack sufficient support. For example, the mention of teachers feeling bored is a good start, but it could be expanded with more detail about how this affects their teaching and students’ learning. Similarly, the discussion about doctors needing to find alternative jobs is relevant but lacks depth and specific examples that would illustrate the point more effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the reasons and consequences discussed. Each idea should be clearly linked to the overall argument and supported with evidence.
-
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing work dissatisfaction and lack of talent. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the conclusion, which introduces a call to action that feels out of place. The mention of “support and try for our life” does not directly relate to the earlier discussion about the reasons and consequences of working in jobs one dislikes.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the prompt. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion that do not tie back to the main discussion. Instead, the conclusion should summarize the key points made in the essay and reinforce the main argument without diverging into unrelated territory.
Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should focus on developing a clearer structure, providing more detailed support for their ideas, and ensuring that all parts of the essay are tightly connected to the prompt.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
-
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas in a somewhat logical order, beginning with reasons for people disliking their work and then moving to the consequences of this situation. However, the transitions between ideas are not always clear, which can confuse the reader. For example, the shift from discussing teachers’ dissatisfaction to the issue of doctors not finding work lacks a smooth transition, making it difficult to follow the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "On the other hand" can clarify connections between ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
-
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure is not effectively utilized. For instance, the first paragraph introduces the topic but does not clearly delineate between the reasons and consequences. The second paragraph mixes reasons with examples, which can lead to confusion. Furthermore, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a strong closing statement.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The writer could create a clear structure by dedicating one paragraph to reasons for job dissatisfaction and another to the consequences. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. This approach will help to reinforce the main argument and improve clarity.
-
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "For example," but the range is limited. Additionally, some devices are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as "thus they have no effort for office or duties," which could be clearer. The lack of varied cohesive devices makes the writing feel repetitive and less engaging.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "Consequently," "In contrast," and "As a result." Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help the writer become more comfortable with their application. Additionally, ensuring that cohesive devices are used appropriately will enhance the flow of ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion in future IELTS essays.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
-
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, but it often relies on basic terms and phrases. For instance, phrases like "doing work," "have no talent," and "boring to them" are quite simplistic and lack sophistication. The use of "deficiency of experience" is a good attempt at a more complex phrase, but it could be expressed more naturally as "lack of experience." Additionally, the phrase "the storage of healthcare systems" is unclear and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more varied and sophisticated terms. For example, instead of "boring to them," they could use "tedious" or "uninspiring." Expanding vocabulary through reading diverse materials and practicing synonyms can help achieve this.
-
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, "they must choose another work such as teachers or IT, seller" is awkwardly phrased. The term "seller" is vague and could be replaced with "salesperson" or "retail worker" for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "foster the next generations" is somewhat misleading in this context, as it suggests nurturing rather than addressing the consequences of working in a field without talent.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects their ideas. Engaging in exercises that emphasize context and connotation can help refine vocabulary choices. For example, rephrasing "they must choose another work" to "they are compelled to pursue alternative careers" would enhance clarity and precision.
-
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "nay" should be "any," and "this happen" should be "this happens." Additionally, "repeatably" is incorrectly used; the correct term would be "repeatedly." These errors can confuse readers and undermine the writer’s credibility.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Regular practice with spelling exercises and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can also help improve overall spelling skills.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of vocabulary usage, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on expanding vocabulary, refining word choice for clarity, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5
-
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences. For instance, the sentence "It is true that many people dislike or have no talent with going through their life doing work" is a straightforward structure that lacks complexity. Additionally, the use of phrases like "there are several reasons why this happen in our life" shows a repetitive pattern in sentence construction.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "there are several reasons why this happen," the writer could say, "One significant reason why many people find themselves in jobs they dislike is the lack of clear career goals." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity and engagement.
-
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "this happen" should be "this happens," and "the deficiency of experience" is awkwardly phrased. Additionally, the phrase "they feel bored and hate teaching repeatably day after day" could be improved to "they feel bored and hate teaching the same material repeatedly day after day." Punctuation errors include the misuse of commas and the lack of proper punctuation in lists, such as in "teachers or IT, seller,…", which should be "teachers, IT professionals, or salespeople."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb tenses. Regular practice with grammar exercises, as well as proofreading for common mistakes, can help. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules for using commas, especially in lists and complex sentences. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of correct punctuation and grammar usage.
Overall, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are needed to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
**DOING WORK – HATE OR HAVE NO TALENT**
It is true that many people dislike or have no talent for going through their lives doing work. There are several reasons why this happens in our lives.
Firstly, there are a lot of people who do not have any goals in their work; thus, they have no motivation for their office duties. As a result, they stop acquiring new knowledge and experience. For example, in many primary schools, the teachers merely complete the lessons without engaging students in discussions. They feel bored and hate teaching repetitively day after day.
Secondly, they may have to take on work that is boring to them. This may be caused by a decrease in the demand for jobs and an increase in the number of employees. For instance, in my country, many doctors are not employed by hospitals due to shortages in healthcare systems, so they must choose alternative occupations such as teaching, IT, or sales.
This situation can lead to several consequences. One result is that people will work inefficiently and ineffectively. This makes their outcomes lower and lower, and they may struggle to cover their expenses or purchase food. Besides, economic development could be impacted by a decline in the quality of life.
Furthermore, many individuals lack inherent talent, making it difficult for them to foster the next generations. As we know, knowledge always changes annually; we must learn from experience and overcome difficulties in order to develop our talents.
In conclusion, there are many factors affecting our world. Disliking work or lacking talent will reduce our abilities. Let us support and strive for improvement in our lives as soon as possible in our country.