Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?

In today’s world, managing our money is prevalently a daunting task requiring individuals many forethoughts and planning .While some people are inclined to saving money, others lean toward splurge on their favourite things.These ways of using their money both have several impacts but a balanced spending would be the most optimal strategy based on reasons that are explained in this essay.
Firsly, saving money can be benifical depending on our personal circumstances . For people who plan to retire from a job , saving up money and creating a budget plan are likely to offer them a retiring happy and financially secure live For instance,a fifty-year-old kindergadern teacher should save money for the future before retirement because she is no longer gonna in the job .Therefore it is advisable to prioritise financial planning over spending money on favourite things.Secondly setting a certain amount of money for emergercy funds can make us feel financially secure when we encounter unexpexted situations,particularly job loss,medical emergencies ,… in addition,This financial cushion provides peace of mind without being overwhelmed facing these urgent cases .For example,a postgraduate saved up some money for her “urgent” fund to be well prepared for unexpected circumstance.In case, she have a hard time finding a stable job, the saving can temporaly help her get over that overwelming situation without struggling with budgeting at the point.Finally saving money for people who have long term goals such as buying a house,setting up a business,covering the tuition fee for college . Because these spendings require an certain amount of money , many people are extremely aware of cutting back a few unnecessary expenses and opting for saving money so that there might be no financial burden tthat they have to carry, which reduces stress for them .For instance, many poeple who want to resside in a big city for a superior standard of living,fresh environment or career opportunities, they are likely to create a budet plan to save up for their move by setting some budget rules on expenditure such as:prioritising essential things,no impulsive buying and excessive amount of indulgent spending.Therefore , spending money wisely would make it easier for them to move to another city without feeling the burden of debt or finance. Overall, saving money is suitable and beneficial for individuals whose needs for long term advantages for their lives and avoid financial burden.
On the other hand, spending money on indulgent purchases also brings us several benefits.To begin with, shopping for things we likes such as : travelling,a dining out ,regular treats to reward ourself,clothes,… Etc can lift our mood by relieving stress and producing more dopamine when involving fun activities we are into. For example,in many schools , students have the opportunity to go on trips at the end of the semester as a way to cheer themself up after a long year of studying under many pressures with the aim to decrease their anxiety for a better mental healt .Lastly, allocating fund to what we enjoy offers us valuable experiences , knowledge and chances to take the first steps into the world.If we dare to try new things, it will help us learn many lessons from experiences that we gain by spending money wisely on things we enjoy or want to try.For example, nowadays there is a trending activity which is travelling . It is considered as a good way for many people especially young people to meet new friends,explore new cultures,.. Thanks to it, they can accumulate experience, enhance social skill and uunderstand multiple unique traditions from around them.In short, investing our money in things we are keen on in moderation can be useful and rewarding because of advantages that it brings in terms of our mental health and insight.
In conclusion, while people saving up money can put them in a comfortable financial condition in the long run , spending on favorite purchases also gives us some retail therapy ,eye-opening experiences and useful skills. However, I personally think aiming for a good balance between saving and spending by managing our money wisely depending on our personal earnings is the most approriate way for us to be able to simultaneously save funds for the future and spend money on things that brinngs us comfort ,joy as well as knowledge.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"managing our money is prevalently a daunting task" -> "managing one’s finances is often a daunting task"
Explanation: "Prevalently" is incorrectly used here; "often" is more appropriate to describe the frequency of the task being daunting. Additionally, "managing our money" is informal; "managing one’s finances" is more formal and precise.
"many forethoughts and planning" -> "considerable thought and planning"
Explanation: "Forethoughts" is not a standard term; "considerable thought" is more accurate and formal.
"lean toward splurge on their favourite things" -> "tend to splurge on their favorite things"
Explanation: "Lean toward" is informal and vague; "tend to" is more precise and formal. Also, "favourite" should be "favorite" for consistency in American English usage.
"Firsly" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Firsly" is a typographical error; "Firstly" is the correct spelling.
"benifical" -> "beneficial"
Explanation: "Benifical" is a typographical error; "beneficial" is the correct spelling.
"a retiring happy and financially secure live" -> "a happy and financially secure retirement"
Explanation: "Live" is incorrect in this context; "retirement" is the correct noun form.
"kindergadern" -> "kindergarten"
Explanation: "Kindergadern" is a typographical error; "kindergarten" is the correct spelling.
"no longer gonna in the job" -> "no longer employed"
Explanation: "Gonna" is informal and incorrect in this context; "employed" is the correct term.
"emergency funds" -> "emergency funds"
Explanation: "Emergercy" is a typographical error; "emergency" is the correct spelling.
"unexpexted" -> "unexpected"
Explanation: "Unexpexted" is a typographical error; "unexpected" is the correct spelling.
"postgraduate saved up some money" -> "a postgraduate saved some money"
Explanation: "Postgraduate" should be used as an adjective, not a noun; "a postgraduate" is grammatically correct.
"have a hard time finding a stable job" -> "face difficulty in securing a stable job"
Explanation: "Have a hard time" is informal; "face difficulty in securing" is more formal and precise.
"overwelming" -> "overwhelming"
Explanation: "Overwelming" is a typographical error; "overwhelming" is the correct spelling.
"temporaly" -> "temporarily"
Explanation: "Temporaly" is a typographical error; "temporarily" is the correct spelling.
"poeple" -> "people"
Explanation: "Poeple" is a typographical error; "people" is the correct spelling.
"reside in a big city" -> "reside in a major city"
Explanation: "Big" is vague; "major" is more specific and formal.
"superior standard of living" -> "higher standard of living"
Explanation: "Superior" is redundant; "higher" is sufficient and more formal.
"fresh environment" -> "fresh environment" (no change needed)
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is.
"career opportunities" -> "career opportunities" (no change needed)
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is.
"impulsive buying" -> "impulse buying"
Explanation: "Impulsive buying" is grammatically incorrect; "impulse buying" is the correct term.
"indulgent spending" -> "indulgent spending" (no change needed)
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is.
"reward ourself" -> "reward ourselves"
Explanation: "Ourself" is grammatically incorrect; "ourselves" is the correct form.
"clothes,… Etc" -> "clothes, etc."
Explanation: "Etc." should be followed by a space for proper punctuation.
"cheer themself up" -> "cheer themselves up"
Explanation: "Themself" is grammatically incorrect; "themselves" is the correct form.
"decrease their anxiety for a better mental healt" -> "reduce their anxiety for better mental health"
Explanation: "Decrease" is less formal; "reduce" is more precise. Also, "healt" is a typographical error; "health" is the correct spelling.
"uunderstand" -> "understand"
Explanation: "Uunderstand" is a typographical error

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons why people prefer to spend money and evaluating whether this trend is positive or negative. The writer presents arguments for saving and spending, providing examples for each. However, the response could benefit from a clearer distinction between the positive and negative aspects of spending money, as the conclusion leans more towards advocating for a balance rather than explicitly stating whether the trend is positive or negative.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly categorize the reasons for spending as either positive or negative in the body paragraphs. This could involve dedicating one paragraph to the positive impacts of spending and another to the negative consequences, thereby providing a more structured and comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that suggests a balance between saving and spending is ideal. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. For instance, while the writer acknowledges the benefits of spending, the conclusion could more firmly state whether the overall trend of spending is viewed positively or negatively.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer should reiterate their stance more explicitly in each paragraph, particularly in the topic sentences. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the main points while clearly stating the writer’s final opinion on the overall trend of spending versus saving.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to both saving and spending, supported by relevant examples. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly developed. For example, the discussion on the benefits of spending could include more specific examples or statistics to substantiate the claims made about mental health and personal growth.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of the essay, the writer should aim to elaborate on key points with additional details or examples. This could involve discussing specific studies or data that highlight the psychological benefits of spending or providing more personal anecdotes that illustrate the points being made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt’s focus on spending versus saving. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes slightly tangential, such as when discussing the emotional benefits of spending without directly linking them back to the overall question of whether this is a positive or negative development.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by consistently linking back to the main question in each paragraph and ensuring that all examples and explanations serve to clarify the writer’s position on the spending versus saving debate.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, refining the structure, clarity of position, and depth of support will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, such as the benefits of saving money and the advantages of spending. For instance, the first body paragraph effectively discusses the importance of saving for retirement and emergencies, while the second body paragraph highlights the positive effects of spending on mental health and experiences. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing saving to spending could be more clearly delineated to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, use transitional phrases (e.g., "On the contrary," "Conversely," "In addition") to guide the reader through shifts in focus, ensuring that the relationship between ideas is evident.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. However, some paragraphs are overly lengthy and could be broken down into smaller sections for better readability. For instance, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas about saving that could be separated into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a single aspect (e.g., retirement savings, emergency funds, long-term goals).
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced paragraph structure by ensuring that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. This will not only improve clarity but also make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Consider using shorter paragraphs to emphasize key points and make the essay visually easier to navigate.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "therefore," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the use of "In short" at the beginning of the concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the preceding points but could be complemented with additional cohesive devices throughout the essay to enhance fluidity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Consequently," "As a result") to create a more sophisticated and cohesive narrative. Additionally, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one, which can be achieved by using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, thereby reinforcing connections between sentences.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving its overall effectiveness in conveying the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. For example, terms like "financial planning," "emergency funds," and "indulgent purchases" show an effort to incorporate relevant vocabulary. However, there are instances of repetition, such as "saving money" and "spending money," which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should explore synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "saving money," alternatives like "accumulating wealth" or "building savings" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "discretionary spending" or "financial prudence" can diversify the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "retiring happy and financially secure live" is awkwardly constructed and should be "live a happy and financially secure life." Similarly, "overwhelming situation" is used incorrectly as "overwelming."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that word forms and collocations are correct. Reviewing grammatical structures and ensuring that adjectives and nouns agree in form can help. Additionally, using a thesaurus can assist in finding more accurate words that fit the context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "benifical" (beneficial), "kindergadern" (kindergarten), "emergercy" (emergency), "unexpexted" (unexpected), "temporaly" (temporarily), and "overwelming" (overwhelming). These errors can confuse the reader and detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at using vocabulary relevant to the topic, there are significant areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it predominantly relies on simple and compound sentences. For example, sentences like "For instance, a fifty-year-old kindergarden teacher should save money for the future before retirement because she is no longer gonna in the job" showcase a basic structure but lack complexity. There are few instances of more complex structures, such as subordinate clauses, which could enhance the depth of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "saving money can be beneficial depending on our personal circumstances," the writer could say, "Although saving money can be beneficial depending on our personal circumstances, it is essential to balance this with spending on experiences that enrich our lives." This approach not only adds variety but also improves the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, the phrase "managing our money is prevalently a daunting task requiring individuals many forethoughts and planning" is awkwardly constructed and lacks necessary commas. Additionally, there are multiple spelling errors, such as "benifical" (beneficial), "kindergadern" (kindergarten), and "emergercy" (emergency), which further undermine the essay’s professionalism. The use of commas is inconsistent, particularly before conjunctions and in lists, leading to run-on sentences and confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for spelling and punctuation errors. A good strategy is to read the essay aloud to catch awkward phrasing and missing punctuation. Additionally, practicing the rules of comma usage—especially in complex sentences and lists—will help clarify the writing. For example, the sentence "For example, a postgraduate saved up some money for her ‘urgent’ fund to be well prepared for unexpected circumstance" could be improved by correcting it to "For example, a postgraduate saved up some money for her ‘urgent’ fund to be well prepared for unexpected circumstances."

In summary, to improve the band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy, the writer should focus on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical and punctuation accuracy through careful proofreading and practice.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, managing our money is often a daunting task requiring individuals considerable thought and planning. While some people are inclined to save money, others lean toward splurging on their favorite things. These ways of using their money both have several impacts, but balanced spending would be the most optimal strategy based on reasons that are explained in this essay.

Firstly, saving money can be beneficial depending on our personal circumstances. For people who plan to retire from a job, saving up money and creating a budget plan are likely to offer them a happy and financially secure retirement. For instance, a fifty-year-old kindergarten teacher should save money for the future before retirement because she is no longer employed. Therefore, it is advisable to prioritize financial planning over spending money on favorite things. Secondly, setting a certain amount of money for emergency funds can make us feel financially secure when we encounter unexpected situations, particularly job loss or medical emergencies. In addition, this financial cushion provides peace of mind without being overwhelmed when facing these urgent cases. For example, a postgraduate saved up some money for her “urgent” fund to be well prepared for unexpected circumstances. In case she has a hard time finding a stable job, the savings can temporarily help her get over that overwhelming situation without struggling with budgeting at that point. Finally, saving money is important for people who have long-term goals such as buying a house, setting up a business, or covering tuition fees for college. Because these expenses require a certain amount of money, many people are extremely aware of cutting back on a few unnecessary expenses and opting for saving money so that there might be no financial burden that they have to carry, which reduces stress for them. For instance, many people who want to reside in a major city for a higher standard of living, fresh environment, or career opportunities are likely to create a budget plan to save up for their move by setting some budget rules on expenditure, such as prioritizing essential things, avoiding impulse buying, and reducing excessive indulgent spending. Therefore, spending money wisely would make it easier for them to move to another city without feeling the burden of debt or financial strain. Overall, saving money is suitable and beneficial for individuals whose needs are for long-term advantages in their lives and to avoid financial burden.

On the other hand, spending money on indulgent purchases also brings us several benefits. To begin with, shopping for things we like, such as traveling, dining out, or regular treats to reward ourselves, can lift our mood by relieving stress and producing more dopamine when engaging in fun activities we enjoy. For example, in many schools, students have the opportunity to go on trips at the end of the semester as a way to cheer themselves up after a long year of studying under pressure, with the aim to decrease their anxiety for better mental health. Lastly, allocating funds to what we enjoy offers us valuable experiences, knowledge, and chances to take the first steps into the world. If we dare to try new things, it will help us learn many lessons from experiences that we gain by spending money wisely on things we enjoy or want to try. For example, nowadays there is a trending activity which is traveling. It is considered a good way for many people, especially young people, to meet new friends and explore new cultures. Thanks to it, they can accumulate experiences, enhance social skills, and understand multiple unique traditions from around them. In short, investing our money in things we are keen on, in moderation, can be useful and rewarding because of the advantages it brings in terms of our mental health and insight.

In conclusion, while saving up money can put people in a comfortable financial condition in the long run, spending on favorite purchases also gives us some retail therapy, eye-opening experiences, and useful skills. However, I personally think aiming for a good balance between saving and spending by managing our money wisely, depending on our personal earnings, is the most appropriate way for us to be able to simultaneously save funds for the future and spend money on things that bring us comfort, joy, and knowledge.