Many people say that a lot of students lack of life skills after graduating from secondary school. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, life skills are indispensable for all of us because they help people to do most of things in our lives. However, it is believed that lots of students lack of life skills after graduating from secondary school. In my opinion, I totally agree with this statement and this essay will discuss it.
First of all, students only learn about subjects at school without knowing about life skills. They mostly study and review their lessons in order to get good marks and pass their exams. This leads to the consequence that they only know little or nothing about life skills. Students think that getting high scores and good grades will help them to find a great job and manage to do other things but many companies are now searching for those skilled people rather than good grades and scores in the college. Also, when getting a job, students may find it hard if they haven't had any prior working experience before. And it is probably the reason for not knowing the real-life skills in most cases. Moreover, sometimes students take up internships and end up with no knowledge or work. So, it’s important to choose wisely.
Secondly, students are often into crime such as alcohol, drugs, gamble and many other kinds of cool stuff. This is because they are teenagers, and vulnerable teenagers can be instigated and incited by bad companions on various social media or in real life. They will not only lack of life skills but hardly succeed at school as well.
Thirdly, students should have get some life experience from their parents. A lot of parents have to work all day long and may not have enough time to tell their children some new skills they know. Or maybe they don't care much about teaching their offspring which can spoil them and make them get little survive skills.
In conclusion, I can say that lots of students who graduate from secondary school are lacking in life skills because they just learn about subjects at school and don't get any ability from anyone else.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"indispensable for all of us" -> "essential for everyone"
Explanation: "Essential for everyone" is more formal and avoids the informal "all of us," which is less typical in academic writing.
"do most of things" -> "perform most tasks"
Explanation: "Perform most tasks" is more precise and formal than "do most of things," which is vague and informal.
"lack of life skills" -> "lack of life skills"
Explanation: The phrase "lack of life skills" is grammatically correct and more formal than "lack of life skills," which is awkwardly phrased.
"I totally agree" -> "I strongly agree"
Explanation: "I strongly agree" is a more formal expression than "I totally agree," which is somewhat colloquial.
"this essay will discuss it" -> "this essay will explore this topic"
Explanation: "Explore this topic" is more specific and academically appropriate than the vague "discuss it."
"only learn about subjects" -> "primarily focus on academic subjects"
Explanation: "Primarily focus on academic subjects" is more precise and formal than "only learn about subjects," which is too simplistic.
"most of things" -> "most tasks"
Explanation: "Most tasks" is more specific and formal than "most of things," which is vague and informal.
"getting high scores and good grades" -> "achieving high scores and good grades"
Explanation: "Achieving" is a more formal verb than "getting," which is colloquial in this context.
"skilled people" -> "individuals with relevant skills"
Explanation: "Individuals with relevant skills" is more specific and formal than "skilled people," which is vague.
"searching for those skilled people" -> "seeking individuals with relevant skills"
Explanation: "Seeking individuals with relevant skills" is more formal and precise than "searching for those skilled people."
"hardly succeed at school" -> "struggle academically"
Explanation: "Struggle academically" is a more formal and precise way to describe difficulties in school performance.
"get some life experience" -> "acquire life experience"
Explanation: "Acquire" is a more formal verb than "get," which is too casual for academic writing.
"have to work all day long" -> "work full-time"
Explanation: "Work full-time" is a more formal and concise way to describe a standard work schedule.
"may not have enough time to tell their children some new skills" -> "may not have sufficient time to impart new skills to their children"
Explanation: "Impart new skills to their children" is more formal and precise than "tell their children some new skills."
"don’t care much about teaching their offspring" -> "are not concerned with teaching their offspring"
Explanation: "Are not concerned with teaching their offspring" is more formal and avoids the casual tone of "don’t care much about."
"get little survive skills" -> "acquire minimal survival skills"
Explanation: "Acquire minimal survival skills" is more formal and precise than "get little survive skills," which is grammatically incorrect and informal.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by agreeing with the statement that many students lack life skills after graduating from secondary school. The author provides reasons for this assertion, such as the focus on academic subjects and the lack of parental guidance. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the topic, including potential counterarguments or acknowledgment of schools that might be addressing life skills.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider discussing any positive aspects of secondary education that may contribute to life skills, or at least acknowledge that some schools may incorporate life skills training. This would provide a more nuanced view and demonstrate critical thinking.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position of the essay is clear, as the writer consistently agrees with the statement throughout. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, and some points could be better connected to the main argument. For example, the discussion about crime feels somewhat disconnected from the primary focus on life skills.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity and consistency, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main argument. Using linking phrases and summarizing how each point supports the thesis can help reinforce the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the focus on academic success and the influence of peers. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the author mentions that companies seek skilled individuals, there are no specific examples or statistics to substantiate this claim. Additionally, the discussion about crime lacks depth and could benefit from further elaboration.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. Incorporating statistics, real-life examples, or expert opinions would enhance the credibility of the arguments and provide a more comprehensive view of the issues discussed.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the lack of life skills among students. However, the mention of crime and its relation to life skills feels somewhat tangential and could distract from the main argument. The discussion about parental involvement, while relevant, could be more tightly linked to the overall theme of life skills.
- How to improve: To improve focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central argument about life skills. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, it would benefit from deeper analysis, stronger evidence, and tighter organization to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, agreeing that students lack life skills after graduating. However, the organization of ideas could be improved. The first paragraph introduces the topic effectively, but the subsequent paragraphs do not follow a clear logical progression. For instance, the transition from discussing academic focus to the impact of crime feels abrupt and lacks a connecting idea. The final paragraph reiterates the main point but does not synthesize the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next by using linking phrases or sentences that connect the ideas. For example, after discussing academic pressures, a sentence could be added to bridge into the discussion about crime, such as "In addition to academic pressures, students also face social challenges that further hinder their development of life skills."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure and effectiveness vary. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, which is a strength. However, some paragraphs could be more developed. For example, the second paragraph about crime is quite brief and lacks depth. The third paragraph introduces parental influence but does not fully explore how this impacts life skills.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced development of each paragraph. Each should ideally contain a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. Expanding on the points made, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, will provide a more comprehensive discussion. For instance, elaborating on how parental involvement or lack thereof directly correlates with students’ life skills would strengthen the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first of all," "secondly," and "in conclusion," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited. The use of conjunctions and transitional phrases is somewhat repetitive, which can detract from the overall flow. For instance, the phrase "lack of life skills" is repeated without variation, making the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "lack of life skills," consider synonyms or rephrasing, such as "insufficient life skills" or "deficiencies in practical abilities." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "on the other hand," "furthermore," or "consequently," can enhance the sophistication of the writing. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts will help improve overall coherence.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, particularly in discussing the themes of education and life skills. Phrases such as "indispensable," "prior working experience," and "instigated and incited" show an attempt to use varied vocabulary. However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation, such as the repeated use of "students" and "life skills," which can make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "students," alternatives like "learners," "pupils," or "young adults" could be employed. Additionally, varying phrases such as "lack of life skills" could be expressed as "deficiency in practical skills" or "shortcomings in essential competencies."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary choices. For instance, the phrase "lack of life skills" is used correctly, but the expression "lots of students lack of life skills" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "lots of students lack life skills." Furthermore, the term "cool stuff" is informal and vague, which detracts from the overall seriousness of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using more formal and specific language. Instead of "cool stuff," a more precise term like "negative influences" or "detrimental activities" would be more appropriate. Additionally, ensuring grammatical accuracy in phrases like "lack of" will enhance clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a fair level of spelling accuracy, with only a few minor errors. However, there are instances of incorrect word forms, such as "gamble" instead of "gambling," which affects the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling and word form accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading and utilize tools like spell checkers. Additionally, practicing writing exercises that focus on commonly confused words and their correct forms can be beneficial. For instance, ensuring that gerunds are used correctly (e.g., "gambling" instead of "gamble") will improve the overall quality of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy will help elevate the Lexical Resource score. Engaging in targeted vocabulary exercises, practicing formal writing, and proofreading will contribute to these enhancements.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Students think that getting high scores…") and compound sentences ("This leads to the consequence that they only know little or nothing about life skills."). However, there is a noticeable reliance on basic structures, which limits the overall complexity and sophistication of the writing. For instance, the use of phrases like "students are often into crime" and "they will not only lack of life skills but hardly succeed at school as well" shows an attempt at variety but lacks more complex grammatical forms such as conditional clauses or varied subordinate clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences, such as those using relative clauses (e.g., "Students who engage in crime often lack essential life skills.") and conditional sentences (e.g., "If students had more exposure to life skills, they would be better prepared for the workforce."). Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in developing more intricate sentence forms.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "lack of life skills" should be "lack life skills," as "lack" does not require the preposition "of." Additionally, the sentence "A lot of parents have to work all day long and may not have enough time to tell their children some new skills they know" could be clearer with better punctuation, such as a comma before "and." There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as "hardly succeed at school," which could be more effectively expressed as "struggle to succeed in school."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on understanding common grammatical structures and their correct usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly focusing on prepositions and conjunctions, would be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and awkward phrasing can enhance clarity. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical forms and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, the writer should aim to diversify sentence structures and improve grammatical accuracy to achieve a higher band score in the IELTS writing assessment.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Nowadays, life skills are essential for everyone because they help individuals perform most tasks in our lives. However, it is believed that many students lack life skills after graduating from secondary school. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this statement, and this essay will explore this topic.

First of all, students primarily focus on academic subjects at school without gaining knowledge about life skills. They mostly study and review their lessons in order to achieve high scores and good grades to pass their exams. This leads to the consequence that they know little or nothing about essential life skills. Students often think that obtaining high scores will help them find a great job and manage other responsibilities, but many companies are now seeking individuals with relevant skills rather than just good grades. Additionally, when entering the job market, students may struggle academically if they haven’t had any prior work experience. This lack of real-life skills is often the reason for their difficulties. Moreover, sometimes students take up internships but end up with minimal knowledge or practical experience. Therefore, it’s important to choose opportunities wisely.

Secondly, students are sometimes drawn into negative behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, and gambling. This is because they are teenagers, and vulnerable adolescents can be influenced by negative peers on various social media platforms or in real life. As a result, they not only lack life skills but also find it hard to succeed in school.

Thirdly, students should acquire some life experience from their parents. Many parents work full-time and may not have sufficient time to impart new skills to their children. Alternatively, they might not be concerned with teaching their offspring, which can hinder their development and lead to minimal survival skills.

In conclusion, I can say that many students who graduate from secondary school lack life skills because they primarily learn about academic subjects and do not acquire practical abilities from their parents or other sources.