Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Nowadays,It is becoming more and
more popular for high school students to consider taking a gap year to travelling or working before they join university. In my view, this is a great idea for pupils who wants to know mare about her ar himself more deeply In the follaring essay, I will discuss the reason fon this view.
Taking a gap year can provide many benefits
First of all, it can help them to gain valuable work experience and develap important life skills such as communication, time management, and ways to solve the problems. Consequently, this idea will help them to become mane adaptable and easy to sucessful.
Secondly, Travel can allow them to recharge after a long period of intense studying and returm to their studies with new energy and motivation. Therefore travelling give them a chance to explore more things about the world and exposes them to new cultures, ways to lite, helpina students to become more open-minded.
many plams fon the invere, sotaling a bread upers of life seem interesting to them. As result, the students will be able to know themselves very well and can determine which major of university to select easily To conclude, having a gap year will impact students lives in positive ways and I am very sure that taking a gap years is not a waste of time because pupils can gain experience through work or travel that enrich their personal and their lives

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Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of taking a gap year, which aligns with the question’s focus on whether this practice is a good idea or a waste of time. However, the response lacks a balanced view, as it does not adequately consider the opposing perspective or acknowledge potential drawbacks of taking a gap year. For instance, the essay could mention how some students might fall behind academically or struggle to reintegrate into academic life after a year away from studies.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly address both sides of the argument. This could involve dedicating a paragraph to discussing the potential disadvantages of taking a gap year, thus providing a more balanced and comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that taking a gap year is beneficial, but this position is somewhat undermined by the lack of depth in argumentation and the presence of grammatical errors that can confuse the reader. For example, phrases like "this is a great idea for pupils who wants to know mare about her ar himself more deeply" are unclear and detract from the overall clarity of the position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should focus on refining their language and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument with strong, clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph would help maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of a gap year, such as gaining work experience and exposure to new cultures. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, while the essay mentions "important life skills," it does not elaborate on how these skills can be applied in real-life situations or provide examples of how previous students have benefited from such experiences.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the benefits of a gap year. This could include citing studies or statistics about students who have taken gap years and how it has positively impacted their academic and personal lives.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of taking a gap year. However, there are moments where the writing becomes convoluted, such as in the phrase "many plams fon the invere, sotaling a bread upers of life seem interesting to them," which distracts from the main argument and introduces confusion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that each sentence contributes directly to the main argument. Simplifying complex sentences and avoiding unnecessary jargon or unclear phrases will help keep the writing on topic and enhance overall coherence.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, it requires significant improvements in balance, clarity, support for ideas, and coherence to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will help the writer develop a more effective and persuasive response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of taking a gap year, with a logical progression of ideas. The introduction sets the stage by stating the topic and the writer’s viewpoint. The body paragraphs are organized around specific benefits of a gap year, such as gaining work experience and the opportunity to travel. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother, as some points feel abruptly introduced without sufficient context or connection to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "In addition," "Furthermore," "On the other hand") would help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, which is essential for clarity and organization. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their structure. For example, the first body paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on work experience and the other on the benefits of travel. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations. This can be achieved by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and following it with supporting details.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "first of all," "consequently," and "therefore," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "As a result" is used, but it could be more effectively linked to the preceding idea for better clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "moreover," "in contrast," and "for instance." Additionally, ensuring that cohesive devices are used appropriately and effectively will enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help the writer become more comfortable with their application.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the use of cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their writing, potentially achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt to use a variety of vocabulary, such as "valuable work experience," "life skills," and "open-minded." However, the range is limited, and there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "gap year" and "travel." The vocabulary choices often lack sophistication and precision, which detracts from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of repeating "travel," they could use "journey," "expedition," or "exploration." Additionally, using phrases like "personal development" instead of "know themselves" could elevate the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "to travelling or working" (should be "to travel or work") and "her ar himself" (should be "himself or herself"). These errors lead to confusion and undermine the clarity of the argument. Furthermore, phrases like "ways to solve the problems" are vague and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, instead of "ways to solve the problems," they could specify "problem-solving strategies." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises and reading academic texts can help improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains multiple spelling errors, such as "follaring" (following), "develap" (develop), "sucessful" (successful), "returm" (return), "helpina" (helping), "plams" (plans), "invere" (inver), "sotaling" (totaling), and "bread upers" (breadth of experiences). These errors significantly detract from the professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, such as using flashcards or spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch and correct these errors. Reading more extensively can also reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score for Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, using words more precisely, and improving spelling accuracy through consistent practice and careful proofreading.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex sentences present. For example, the sentence "Taking a gap year can provide many benefits" is straightforward and lacks complexity. Additionally, phrases like "to travelling or working" and "ways to solve the problems" indicate a reliance on basic structures without much variation. The essay also contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity and coherence, such as "pupils who wants" (should be "want") and "helpina students" (should be "helping students").
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Travel can allow them to recharge," the writer could say, "By traveling, students can recharge after a long period of intense studying, which enables them to return to their studies with renewed energy." Additionally, using a variety of sentence beginnings and structures will enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall quality. For instance, "Nowadays,It is becoming more and more popular" has a spacing error after the comma and lacks a conjunction to connect ideas smoothly. The phrase "to travelling or working" should be "to travel or work," and "develap" is a misspelling of "develop." Furthermore, punctuation is often absent where it is needed, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences. The use of lowercase letters at the beginning of some sentences and the lack of proper capitalization in "In the follaring essay" also indicate a lack of attention to detail.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can help identify and correct these issues. Additionally, practicing sentence construction and punctuation rules will aid in developing a more polished writing style. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of proper grammar and punctuation usage.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should work on expanding their range of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Regular practice, along with careful proofreading, will significantly enhance the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, it is becoming more and more popular for high school students to consider taking a gap year to travel or work before they join university. In my view, this is a great idea for pupils who want to know more about themselves more deeply. In the following essay, I will discuss the reasons for this view.

Taking a gap year can provide many benefits. First of all, it can help them gain valuable work experience and develop important life skills such as communication, time management, and problem-solving. Consequently, this idea will help them become more adaptable and successful.

Secondly, travel can allow them to recharge after a long period of intense studying and return to their studies with new energy and motivation. Therefore, traveling gives them a chance to explore more about the world and exposes them to new cultures and ways of life, helping students to become more open-minded.

Many plans for the future, such as exploring a broad spectrum of life, seem interesting to them. As a result, the students will be able to know themselves very well and can determine which major to select at university more easily. To conclude, having a gap year will impact students’ lives in positive ways, and I am very sure that taking a gap year is not a waste of time because pupils can gain experience through work or travel that enriches their personal lives.