Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. What can be done to solve the problem?
Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. What can be done to solve the problem?
Many students believe that studying in college is more challenging than in high school. From my perspective, this is because of the more extensive knowledge required in higher education and the increasing distractions students are exposed to. To tackle this issue, students need to proactively take action on their own.
To begin with, I think that there are two main root causes as to why several students find it tougher to study at university than at school. Firstly, it is universally agreed that the knowledge taught in college is much more specialized and extensive than what students are so accustomed to in high school education. When pursuing general education, the knowledge of a higher grade is largely built upon the foundation of the previous grade. However, that is not the case with college education. For instance, in order for a student to graduate from medical school, they must learn over a hundred subjects, and they are all different from each other. Another possible reason is that college students get more distractions in college than in high school. Particularly, instead of fully concentrating on studying like they normally do in high school, many college students have other concerns besides studying. For example, many choose to do a part-time job to obtain experience or build their networking by participating in school clubs.
In order to address the issue, I believe that students should be mainly in charge of creating their solutions. The first solution I would propose is that college students need to change their mindset and become more proactive with their studying. For instance, besides class and homework, students should also spend time reading specialized books and papers or attending prominent seminars in their field to expand their horizons instead of being too carried away with other interests. By actively searching for knowledge, students not only have new insightful information but also improve their self-study skills, which is extremely important in college. Secondly, I believe that some students should consider taking college preparation courses first to equip themselves with the needed skills required in higher education like self-studying, research or presentation skills.
To conclude, I think the main reasons students might find it harder to study in college than in school is because what they are taught in college is much broader and that they get more distractions. To solve the problem, students need to change their mindset, be more responsible with their studying and should consider taking a college preparation course before college.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"Many students believe" -> "It is widely acknowledged"
Explanation: Replacing "Many students believe" with "It is widely acknowledged" shifts the focus from a subjective opinion to a more objective, academic statement, enhancing the formality and precision of the sentence. -
"From my perspective" -> "In my view"
Explanation: "In my view" is a more formal expression commonly used in academic writing, replacing the more conversational "From my perspective." -
"proactively take action on their own" -> "take proactive measures independently"
Explanation: "Take proactive measures independently" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the autonomous nature of the actions students should take. -
"I think that there are two main root causes" -> "It is argued that there are two primary causes"
Explanation: "It is argued that" introduces a more formal and academic tone, suitable for an essay, and "primary" is a more precise term than "main." -
"it is universally agreed" -> "it is widely recognized"
Explanation: "It is widely recognized" is a more academically appropriate phrase, avoiding the colloquial tone of "universally agreed." -
"the knowledge of a higher grade" -> "the curriculum of higher levels"
Explanation: "The curriculum of higher levels" is more specific and academically precise than "the knowledge of a higher grade," which is vague and informal. -
"they must learn over a hundred subjects" -> "they must study numerous subjects"
Explanation: "Numerous subjects" is more formal and precise than "over a hundred," which is somewhat informal and imprecise. -
"get more distractions" -> "face more distractions"
Explanation: "Face more distractions" is a more formal expression, suitable for academic writing, compared to the more casual "get more distractions." -
"many choose to do a part-time job" -> "many opt to engage in part-time employment"
Explanation: "Opt to engage in part-time employment" is more formal and precise, replacing the casual "choose to do a part-time job." -
"build their networking" -> "develop their professional networks"
Explanation: "Develop their professional networks" is a more formal and specific term than "build their networking," which is vague and informal. -
"should be mainly in charge of creating their solutions" -> "should primarily be responsible for devising their own solutions"
Explanation: "Should primarily be responsible for devising their own solutions" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the student’s agency in finding solutions. -
"change their mindset and become more proactive with their studying" -> "alter their mindset and adopt a more proactive approach to their studies"
Explanation: "Alter their mindset and adopt a more proactive approach to their studies" is more formal and academically appropriate, replacing the less formal "change their mindset and become more proactive with their studying." -
"extremely important" -> "crucial"
Explanation: "Crucial" is a more formal and precise adjective than "extremely important," fitting better in an academic context. -
"consider taking a college preparation course" -> "consider enrolling in a college preparation program"
Explanation: "Enrolling in a college preparation program" is more specific and formal than "taking a college preparation course," aligning better with academic language.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both aspects of the prompt: why studying at university is perceived as harder than in school and suggestions to solve the problem. It discusses the complexity of college education and increased distractions, and proposes solutions such as mindset change and preparation courses.
- How to improve: While the essay touches on all parts of the question, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of specific strategies to mitigate distractions and to handle the increased complexity of college education.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance that studying in college is more challenging due to specialized knowledge and distractions. This position is consistently supported throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph consistently reinforces the central argument without veering into tangential points.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas (specialized knowledge, distractions) and extends them with examples (medical school subjects, part-time jobs). However, the elaboration on solutions (mindset change, college preparation courses) could be more detailed and supported with specific examples or studies.
- How to improve: Strengthen the essay by providing deeper analysis and possibly incorporating evidence from research or studies on effective study habits in college.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the reasons why studying is harder in college and proposing solutions related to student actions and preparation.
- How to improve: Avoid generalizations and ensure all examples directly relate to the main topic of why studying in college is perceived as harder and how to solve this issue.
Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a consistent stance throughout, improvements can be made in providing more specific examples and deeper analysis, particularly in the section discussing solutions. Encourage the writer to focus on enhancing the depth of their argumentation and ensuring all content directly supports the central thesis of the essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the prompt, starting with an introduction that sets up the discussion, followed by two body paragraphs that explore the reasons and solutions. The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow further, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence clearly relates back to the thesis statement and maintains a cohesive link to the overall argument. Consider using transitional phrases to strengthen connections between ideas and paragraphs.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate different ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument, such as reasons or solutions. Topic sentences are generally clear, guiding the reader through the essay.
- How to improve: Pay attention to paragraph length consistency; some paragraphs could be more developed to fully explore their respective points. Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses a variety of cohesive devices, including linking words (e.g., "To begin with," "Secondly," "In order to," "To conclude"), referencing (e.g., "For instance," "Another possible reason is that"), and pronouns ("this," "that"). These devices help connect ideas within and between sentences, contributing to coherence.
- How to improve: Aim to diversify cohesive devices further by incorporating more sophisticated connectors such as discourse markers ("Moreover," "However," "Consequently") and parallel structures to emphasize relationships between ideas. Ensure cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay.
Overall, this essay effectively addresses the prompt with a coherent structure and well-organized paragraphs. To improve coherence and cohesion further, focus on strengthening the logical connections between ideas and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. These refinements will elevate the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments, leading to even stronger academic writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. There is use of varied terms such as "extensive knowledge," "specialized," "distractions," "proactively," "insightful," and "self-study skills." However, some phrases and expressions are repetitive, such as "college education" and "high school," which could limit the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions where appropriate. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "college education," consider using alternatives like "higher education" or "university studies" to avoid redundancy and showcase a broader lexical range. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary specific to academic contexts could further enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively to convey ideas, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, phrases like "more distractions" could be more precisely replaced with terms like "competing commitments" or "external pressures," which could sharpen the clarity and specificity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, consider using more nuanced vocabulary that precisely captures the intended meaning. Review each instance where a general term is used and assess whether a more specific term or phrase could better convey the exact idea intended. This will not only elevate the precision but also demonstrate a deeper grasp of the topic.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy in the essay is generally adequate with minimal errors observed ("acustomed" should be corrected to "accustomed"). However, there are a few instances where typos or incorrect usage of words could affect clarity, such as "should be mainly in charge" (could be revised to "should take primary responsibility").
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it would be beneficial to proofread the essay carefully, paying attention to common errors and ensuring correct word usage throughout. Utilizing spelling and grammar tools can also help identify and correct any overlooked mistakes. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically before submission can significantly reduce the occurrence of such errors.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource with a good range of vocabulary and generally correct spelling, there are opportunities for improvement in enhancing variety, precision, and ensuring consistent accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the essay can effectively elevate its lexical sophistication and clarity, thereby potentially achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures. It includes simple sentences ("Many students believe"), compound sentences ("From my perspective, this is because…"), complex sentences ("When pursuing general education, the knowledge…"), and compound-complex sentences ("Another possible reason is that college students get more distractions…"). This variety enhances readability and demonstrates a command of different grammatical structures.
- How to improve: To further enhance, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures where appropriate, such as using conditional sentences (e.g., "If students were to adopt more proactive study habits, they could mitigate these challenges.") or inversion (e.g., "Not only do students face academic challenges, but they also encounter numerous distractions."). This can add sophistication and clarity to your arguments.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy. Errors are minimal and do not detract significantly from understanding. For instance, "they are all different from each other" could be revised to "they are all distinct from one another." Punctuation is generally used correctly; however, there are occasional minor errors like missing commas or inconsistent capitalization (e.g., "medical school, they must learn" should be "medical school, they must learn").
- How to improve: Focus on consistent comma usage, especially in complex sentences, to clarify sentence structure and improve readability. Additionally, ensure that all nouns are appropriately capitalized (e.g., "medical school" should be capitalized consistently throughout). Reviewing these details in proofreading can further polish the essay.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and accurate punctuation usage, contributing to its cohesive presentation and clarity. With continued attention to detail and further diversification of sentence structures, the essay could enhance its complexity and precision, potentially moving towards a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
Many students believe that studying in college is more challenging than in high school. From my perspective, this is because of the more extensive knowledge required in higher education and the increasing distractions students face. To tackle this issue, students need to take proactive measures independently.
To begin with, it is widely acknowledged that there are two primary causes as to why many students find it tougher to study at university than at school. Firstly, it is widely recognized that the curriculum of higher levels demands specialized and in-depth knowledge, unlike the more generalized approach in high school. For example, in medical school, students must study numerous subjects, each distinct from the others. Another reason is that students face more distractions in college. Instead of solely focusing on their studies as they did in high school, many opt to engage in part-time employment or develop their professional networks through extracurricular activities.
To address this issue, I believe that students should primarily be responsible for devising their own solutions. The first step is for students to alter their mindset and adopt a more proactive approach to their studies. For instance, in addition to attending classes and completing assignments, students should also dedicate time to reading specialized literature and attending seminars relevant to their field. By actively seeking out knowledge, students not only gain valuable insights but also enhance their self-study skills, which are crucial in college. Secondly, students should consider enrolling in a college preparation program to equip themselves with necessary skills such as research and presentation abilities before starting college.
In conclusion, the main challenges students face in college compared to school stem from the broader curriculum and increased distractions. To overcome these challenges, students should take proactive steps to improve their study habits and consider preparing adequately for the demands of higher education.