Many students find it harder to study when they are at university or college than when they were at school. Why is this? What can be done to solve the problem?
With the development of society, most students choose to study at universities to enrich their resumé. Many students find it more challenging to study when they pursue tertiary education than when they are at school and have no sign of abating. From my perspective, I would contend that integrating self-study into a school program can solve the lack of these essential skills which might be the main cause of various challenges that university students face.
First of all, to embark upon, the lack of essential skills may be the main reason leading to the more complex of higher education. In high school, students were usually given a permanent timetable, subjects, and guidance by teachers; however, the university only supplies students with professors and classrooms, and a study plan depends on these students. Particularly, university curricula require a lot of self-study and research, so they must learn how to prepare suitable time management, research skills, and self-discipline. For example, as a medicine major, students are appointed to learn more about biochemistry and the substance of med. Besides that, students find studying at universities difficult because of the different learning environments and the lack of individualized support.
To address the underlying causes, I would propose two solutions. Firstly, before going to the university, schools should integrate the acquisition of essential academic skills into high school programs. Thanks to those useful programs, students can easily familiarize themselves with university learning methods. Secondly, during university, professors should increase their interactivity with their students. For example, when the lecture finished, they could stay for a while to answer some questions or give some advice to students.
In conclusion, the transition from high school to tertiary education is difficult for students due to the advances in curricula and greater skills required. Increasing interactivity and integrating the acquisition of essential academic skills into high school programs can help students overcome these challenges and thrive in their academic pursuits.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"resumé" -> "resume"
Explanation: The term "resume" is the standard spelling in formal writing and is more appropriate in academic contexts.
"find it more challenging" -> "encounter greater challenges"
Explanation: "Encounter greater challenges" is a more formal expression, avoiding the colloquial tone of "find it more challenging."
"pursue tertiary education" -> "pursue higher education"
Explanation: "Higher education" is a more formal term often used in academic contexts.
"From my perspective, I would contend" -> "In my view, I argue"
Explanation: "In my view, I argue" is a more formal and direct way to express the same idea, eliminating unnecessary phrases.
"to embark upon" -> "to begin with"
Explanation: "To begin with" is a more common and straightforward phrase, suitable for academic writing.
"the more complex of higher education" -> "the complexities of higher education"
Explanation: "The complexities of higher education" is a more precise and formal expression, conveying the intended meaning more clearly.
"permanent timetable" -> "fixed schedule"
Explanation: "Fixed schedule" is a more standard and concise term, aligning better with academic language.
"med" -> "medicine"
Explanation: "Medicine" is the appropriate and complete term, enhancing clarity and formality.
"Besides that" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Additionally" is a more formal transition, improving the flow of the sentence in an academic context.
"Thanks to those useful programs" -> "Through these beneficial programs"
Explanation: "Through these beneficial programs" provides a more formal transition and maintains the clarity of the sentence.
"the lecture finished" -> "the lecture concludes"
Explanation: "The lecture concludes" is a more formal and precise expression.
"Overcome these challenges and thrive" -> "Overcome these challenges and excel"
Explanation: "Excel" is a more formal and sophisticated term, contributing to the academic tone of the conclusion.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay thoroughly addresses all aspects of the prompt. It recognizes the challenges students face when transitioning from high school to university and proposes solutions to mitigate these challenges. Relevant sections, such as the discussion on the lack of essential skills and the proposed solutions, support the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider providing specific examples of essential academic skills that students may lack and how these skills can impact their university studies.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position by asserting that the lack of essential skills is a significant challenge for university students and proposing solutions to address this issue. The stance remains consistent throughout the essay, contributing to the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main position. Use topic sentences that clearly convey the purpose of each paragraph and its relation to the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. The discussion on the challenges of higher education, the lack of essential skills, and the proposed solutions is well-developed. Examples, such as the mention of the medicine major and the need for increased interactivity, provide specific support for the ideas presented.
- How to improve: To enhance development, consider providing more depth in the examples provided. For instance, elaborate on the specific types of academic skills that students may lack and how these skills can impact their ability to succeed at the university level.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains on topic by addressing the challenges students face when transitioning from high school to university and suggesting solutions to overcome these challenges. There are no significant deviations from the main theme.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the central argument. Avoid introducing unrelated information that may distract from the main topic.
Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the key elements. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and further developing the discussion of essential academic skills. Additionally, enhance paragraph coherence by reinforcing the main position in each section.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction presents the issue clearly, and the body paragraphs follow a generally logical sequence, discussing the lack of essential skills and proposing solutions. However, there are instances where the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas, especially within paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases within and between paragraphs. For example, phrases like "Moreover," or "Furthermore," can help connect ideas more seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to avoid potential confusion.
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. However, some paragraphs tend to be lengthy, making it challenging for the reader to follow the arguments easily.
- How to improve: Break longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability. Each paragraph should center around a single main idea, aiding the reader’s comprehension. Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth to maintain the overall coherence of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and strategic placement of these devices. A more diverse range of cohesive devices could enhance overall coherence.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider array of cohesive devices, including synonyms for commonly used transitions. Additionally, consider the placement of these devices at key points in the text to guide the reader through the logical progression of ideas. Pay attention to using cohesive devices consistently for a smoother reading experience.
Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the coherence and cohesion criteria, incorporating these suggestions can elevate the organization and flow of ideas, contributing to an even more cohesive and coherent essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a satisfactory range of vocabulary. It includes terms like "embark upon," "curricula," "interactivity," and "discipline," showing an attempt at varied expression. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further, particularly in the use of more sophisticated and nuanced language.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, strive for more advanced and precise terms. For instance, instead of using the common phrase "embark upon," consider alternatives like "commence" or "initiate." Also, explore synonyms for frequently used words to add depth to your language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate precision in vocabulary usage. There are instances where terms are used appropriately, such as "permanent timetable" and "self-discipline." However, at times, the language tends to be more general, lacking specificity. For instance, the term "essential skills" could be more precisely defined in the context of academic skills required for university.
- How to improve: Aim for greater precision by defining and using terms in a more specific context. Instead of relying on broad terms like "essential skills," specify the particular skills needed for university success, such as "critical thinking," "research acumen," or "time management." This adds clarity and depth to your expression.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout. However, there are a few instances of minor errors, such as "resumé" (should be "résumé") and "curricula" (should be "curriculum"). These errors do not significantly impact the overall understanding but should be addressed for a more polished presentation.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to spelling details, especially with words that have accents or specific plural forms. Proofread your essay carefully, and consider using spelling and grammar tools to catch minor errors. Additionally, focus on common words that are prone to misspelling.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary with some room for improvement. To elevate the lexical resource score, focus on incorporating a broader range of vocabulary, using terms more precisely, and ensuring meticulous attention to spelling details. This will contribute to a more sophisticated and refined expression in your writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, with some attempt at variety. For instance, the essay uses compound sentences like, "In conclusion, the transition from high school to tertiary education is difficult for students due to the advances in curricula and greater skills required." However, a more diverse range, including compound-complex sentences or varied clause structures, could enhance the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures. For example, include compound-complex sentences by combining multiple ideas into a single sentence. Additionally, pay attention to sentence beginnings; varied sentence structures can contribute to a more engaging and sophisticated writing style.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates reasonably accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where incorrect verb forms or prepositions are used, as seen in, "students are appointed to learn more about biochemistry and the substance of med." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in some instances where they could enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to verb forms and prepositions. Proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly missing commas or misplaced punctuation marks, would enhance overall accuracy. Reviewing and editing the essay with a focus on these aspects can contribute to a more polished and error-free final product.
In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation overall, there is room for improvement in both the range of sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. Focusing on incorporating more varied sentence structures and carefully proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation issues will contribute to a more refined and higher-scoring essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the contemporary era, a majority of students opt for higher education at universities to enhance their resumes. The shift from school to university often poses increased difficulties in studying, which shows no signs of diminishing. In my view, addressing the absence of crucial skills, a potential root cause of the challenges faced by university students, can be achieved by incorporating self-study components into the school curriculum.
To begin with, the deficiency in vital skills may be the primary factor contributing to the heightened complexities of higher education. In high school, students typically follow a fixed schedule, receive subject guidance from teachers, and have a structured environment. However, university life provides students with professors and classrooms, leaving the formulation of a study plan solely on the students themselves. Notably, university curricula demand extensive self-study and research, necessitating proficiency in time management, research skills, and self-discipline. For instance, students majoring in medicine must delve into subjects such as biochemistry and the essence of medicine. Moreover, the challenges arise from distinct learning environments and a lack of personalized support at the university level.
To overcome these challenges, I propose two solutions. Firstly, schools should integrate the acquisition of essential academic skills into their high school programs before students transition to university. These programs would familiarize students with university learning methods, facilitating a smoother adjustment. Secondly, within the university setting, professors should enhance their interaction with students. For instance, after concluding a lecture, professors could allocate time to answer questions or offer guidance to students.
In conclusion, the difficulty students face when transitioning from high school to tertiary education stems from advancements in curricula and the heightened skills required. By fostering increased interactivity and incorporating essential academic skills into high school programs, students can overcome these challenges and excel in their academic pursuits.