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many top universities are providing online courses to students as an alternative to campus as anyone can have access to them. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

many top universities are providing online courses to students as an alternative to campus as anyone can have access to them. Do you think it is a positive or negative development ?

In today's modern world, the concept of technology application to education has become a matter of significant concern for people globally. Online classes are being supplied by a plethora of prestigious universities instead of on campus by virtue of their accessibility. In my estimation, this entails both favorable and unfavorable consequences.
On the one hand, it can be acknowledged that virtual classes would possess numerous benefits. First, convenience is perceived to be a tangible merit when it comes to distance learning. This approach empowers more students to enroll and partake in curricula (chỗ này fai nhấn mạnh vào regardless of age / location / race / gender …) in accordance with their personal interests and circumstances, thereby spurring them on studying at their own pace and maximizing learning efficiency. Moreover, in the light of ubiquitous proliferation of technology, remote learning also enables them to connect to courses from esteemed educational institutions, which is faraway for miles, without wasting money and effort on transportation and accommodation. Second, storage capacity serves as another positive impact of virtual classes. With advanced features of a variety of software, content and materials of lessons would be seamlessly captured, screen-recorded and saved into limitless storage in particular order, allowing learners to search for documents straightforwardly when needed and substituting for conventional paper. Accordingly, revision can be done in a more flexible way, not restricted by study materials and places. Good
On the other hand, there are also some potential drawbacks of Internet -based programs. To begin with, students' discipline is deleteriously affected by remote learning. Requirements of this way of studying exclude uniform wearing, fixed time schedule or formal etiquette as a result of little exposure to the public, separating them from society. Therefore, there would be potential repercussions on learners' learning style, productivity and probably their future career. Furthermore, the presence of cheating adds to the list of disadvantages associated with off-site education. Regrettably, on account of the lack of supervision of teachers, instances of academic dishonesty have emerged, where unscrupulous individuals exploit state-of-the-art technology to copy documents, plagiarize or doctor test scores in lessons and exams. These wrongdoings contribute to the emergence of bad habits in the long term, exacerbating learning quality, learners' morality and prestige of reputable colleges.
In conclusion, with the aforementioned rationale, I believe that web-based training provided by well-known universities has both upsides and downsides. Consequently, what students should do is to balance between online and offline methods to attain high level of proficiency in acquiring knowledge.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "the concept of technology application to education" -> "the integration of technology in education"
    Explanation: Replacing "the concept of technology application to education" with "the integration of technology in education" is more precise and aligns with formal language, avoiding unnecessary complexity.

  2. "being supplied by a plethora of prestigious universities" -> "offered by numerous esteemed universities"
    Explanation: Substituting "being supplied by a plethora of prestigious universities" with "offered by numerous esteemed universities" enhances the formality of the sentence while maintaining clarity and avoiding informal phrasing.

  3. "instead of on campus by virtue of their accessibility" -> "rather than on campus due to their accessibility"
    Explanation: The replacement of "instead of on campus by virtue of their accessibility" with "rather than on campus due to their accessibility" offers a more formal structure, eliminating colloquial expressions and maintaining a scholarly tone.

  4. "In my estimation, this entails both favorable and unfavorable consequences." -> "In my assessment, this entails both advantageous and detrimental consequences."
    Explanation: Substituting "In my estimation" with "In my assessment" and "favorable and unfavorable" with "advantageous and detrimental" improves the formality of the language, aligning with academic style.

  5. "it can be acknowledged" -> "it is worth acknowledging"
    Explanation: Replacing "it can be acknowledged" with "it is worth acknowledging" adds a touch of formality and precision to the statement.

  6. "convenience is perceived to be a tangible merit" -> "convenience is considered a tangible advantage"
    Explanation: Changing "convenience is perceived to be a tangible merit" to "convenience is considered a tangible advantage" maintains formality and provides a more straightforward expression.

  7. "(chỗ này fai nhấn mạnh vào regardless of age / location / race / gender …)" -> "(emphasis should be placed on regardless of factors such as age, location, race, or gender)"
    Explanation: Replacing the Vietnamese phrase with a clear English expression enhances the readability of the text and maintains a formal tone.

  8. "spurring them on studying" -> "encouraging them to study"
    Explanation: Changing "spurring them on studying" to "encouraging them to study" simplifies the expression without sacrificing formality.

  9. "screen-recorded and saved into limitless storage" -> "screen-recorded and stored in unlimited capacity"
    Explanation: Replacing "screen-recorded and saved into limitless storage" with "screen-recorded and stored in unlimited capacity" streamlines the description while maintaining formality.

  10. "accordingly, revision can be done in a more flexible way" -> "thus, revision can be carried out more flexibly"
    Explanation: The substitution of "accordingly, revision can be done in a more flexible way" with "thus, revision can be carried out more flexibly" improves the flow and formality of the sentence.

  11. "deleteriously affected" -> "negatively impacted"
    Explanation: Changing "deleteriously affected" to "negatively impacted" retains the meaning while using a more common and formal term.

  12. "uniform wearing" -> "wearing uniforms"
    Explanation: Simplifying "requirements of this way of studying exclude uniform wearing" to "requirements of this way of studying exclude wearing uniforms" maintains formality while improving clarity.

  13. "as a result of little exposure to the public" -> "due to limited exposure to the public"
    Explanation: Substituting "as a result of little exposure to the public" with "due to limited exposure to the public" enhances formality and clarity.

  14. "there would be potential repercussions" -> "there could be potential repercussions"
    Explanation: Changing "there would be potential repercussions" to "there could be potential repercussions" adds a level of uncertainty appropriate for academic writing.

  15. "Regrettably" -> "Unfortunately"
    Explanation: Replacing "Regrettably" with "Unfortunately" maintains formality and is more commonly used in academic writing.

  16. "on account of the lack of supervision of teachers" -> "due to inadequate teacher supervision"
    Explanation: Substituting "on account of the lack of supervision of teachers" with "due to inadequate teacher supervision" improves precision and formality.

  17. "instances of academic dishonesty have emerged" -> "cases of academic dishonesty have arisen"
    Explanation: Changing "instances of academic dishonesty have emerged" to "cases of academic dishonesty have arisen" provides a more formal and precise expression.

  18. "unscrupulous individuals" -> "unethical individuals"
    Explanation: Replacing "unscrupulous individuals" with "unethical individuals" maintains formality and is a more common term in academic writing.

  19. "state-of-the-art technology" -> "advanced technology"
    Explanation: Substituting "state-of-the-art technology" with "advanced technology" simplifies the expression without sacrificing precision.

  20. "These wrongdoings contribute to the emergence of bad habits" -> "These actions contribute to the development of undesirable habits"
    Explanation: Changing "These wrongdoings contribute to the emergence of bad habits" to "These actions contribute to the development of undesirable habits" offers a more formal and nuanced expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of online courses provided by top universities. The mention of convenience, accessibility, and storage capacity illustrates a thorough consideration of the topic.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers the main aspects, a more explicit acknowledgment of the prompt’s dual nature (positive or negative development) in the introduction and conclusion could enhance task response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear, well-developed, and consistent position throughout. The stance on the positive and negative consequences of online courses is evident, with effective use of supporting points in each direction.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen this characteristic, ensure that each paragraph explicitly ties back to the overall stance, emphasizing the chosen perspective.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay extends and supports ideas well, particularly in highlighting the convenience and storage benefits of online classes. However, the mention of drawbacks lacks a certain depth and could benefit from more specific examples.
    • How to improve: Elaborate further on the negative consequences, providing concrete instances of how discipline is affected and detailing specific cases of cheating to enhance the depth and focus of the discussion.
  • Stay on Topic: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is generally relevant to the essay prompt, discussing the positive and negative aspects of online courses. However, there are moments, such as the reference to "uniform wearing" and "formal etiquette," that may be slightly off-topic.
    • How to improve: Ensure that all examples and details directly contribute to the evaluation of the positive or negative development of online courses. Avoid tangential points that do not directly relate to the prompt.

General Comments:

  • The essay demonstrates a good command of language and uses a variety of vocabulary.
  • While the overall structure is clear, make sure each paragraph contributes explicitly to the main stance.
  • Proofread for grammar and language coherence, e.g., "Regrettably, on account of the lack of supervision of teachers" could be refined for smoother expression.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the key components of the prompt, providing a balanced evaluation of the positive and negative aspects of online courses. Further depth in supporting examples and a more explicit tie-back to the prompt throughout would enhance the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically: Characteristic of Band 6

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a mostly coherent arrangement of ideas with a clear overall structure. The introduction introduces the topic, and the body paragraphs present arguments for both positive and negative aspects of online courses. However, there are instances where ideas could be expressed more clearly, such as the phrase "This approach empowers more students to enroll and partake in curricula (chỗ này fai nhấn mạnh vào regardless of age / location / race / gender …)," which is somewhat unclear. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each idea is expressed clearly and concisely. Pay attention to transitions between paragraphs to create a seamless flow of ideas. Consider rephrasing unclear statements for better clarity.
  • Use Paragraphs: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs generally effective paragraphing with mostly logical idea sequencing. Each paragraph introduces a distinct point, and ideas within paragraphs are coherent. However, there is a slight inconsistency in paragraph length, with the second paragraph being significantly longer than the others. This can affect the overall balance and flow of the essay.
    • How to improve: Maintain consistency in paragraph length to create a more balanced and visually appealing essay. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones for better readability.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays flexible use of cohesive devices with some inaccuracies or inappropriate amounts. There is a good variety of linking words and phrases, such as "on the one hand," "moreover," and "furthermore," contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more precise, such as the phrase "in the light of ubiquitous proliferation of technology."
    • How to improve: Focus on using cohesive devices more precisely and sparingly. Ensure that each linking word or phrase serves a clear purpose in connecting ideas. Avoid overusing certain terms and opt for more varied expressions to enhance coherence.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, there is room for improvement in terms of clarity in expression, paragraph length consistency, and precision in the use of cohesive devices. Paying attention to these aspects will contribute to a more polished and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, showcasing an ability to express ideas with flexibility and precision. For instance, the use of phrases like "plethora of prestigious universities," "tangible merit," and "seamlessly captured" reflects a diverse and advanced vocabulary.
    • How to improve: Continue to explore and incorporate nuanced vocabulary to enhance the richness of expression. Consider introducing more domain-specific terms related to education and technology for a more specialized vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary with precision, there are instances where inappropriate choices hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "deleteriously affected" might be replaced with a simpler term like "negatively impacted" for better clarity without sacrificing precision.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to the context and appropriateness of vocabulary choices. Strive for clarity and precision, opting for simpler alternatives when they better serve the purpose.
  • Use Correct Spelling: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling errors are infrequent and do not significantly detract from overall clarity. The essay maintains a high level of spelling accuracy, contributing positively to the reader’s understanding.
    • How to improve: Continue to proofread meticulously to catch any rare errors. Consider using tools like spell checkers to further enhance spelling accuracy.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of vocabulary and spelling, aligning well with the characteristics of Band 7. To improve further, focus on refining precision in vocabulary choices and maintaining consistent attention to spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a wide range of sentence structures. Complex sentences, relative clauses, and varied sentence beginnings are evident throughout the essay. For instance, the essay employs phrases such as "In today’s modern world," "On the one hand," and "To begin with," showcasing a sophisticated command of language structures. The writer effectively employs parallelism and transitions to enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: While the essay displays a strong command of diverse structures, consider integrating more advanced syntactical elements, such as inversion or conditional sentences, to further elevate the sophistication of the writing.
  • Use Grammar Accurately: Characteristic of Band 8

    • Detailed explanation: The majority of sentences are free from significant grammatical errors, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there are occasional instances of minor errors, such as in the phrase "Deleteriously affected by remote learning," where the word choice might be refined for better clarity. Despite this, the writer successfully navigates complex grammatical structures and maintains coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, proofread carefully to catch minor errors, and pay specific attention to word choices to ensure precision and clarity. Additionally, consider incorporating more complex grammatical structures, like conditional sentences, to further showcase grammatical proficiency.
  • Use Correct Punctuation: Characteristic of Band 7

    • Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally well-controlled throughout the essay. Commas, periods, and other punctuation marks are used appropriately to convey meaning and aid readability. However, there are occasional instances where punctuation could be refined for increased precision, such as in the sentence "In my estimation, this entails both favorable and unfavorable consequences," where a more nuanced use of punctuation could enhance the sentence flow.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining the use of punctuation in complex sentences. Ensure that punctuation marks are strategically placed to enhance the flow of ideas and to avoid any potential ambiguity. Review rules related to commas, semicolons, and colons to further polish punctuation skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for minor improvements in precision and the incorporation of more advanced structures for an even higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our contemporary world, the integration of technology in education has become a pivotal concern worldwide. Numerous esteemed universities now offer online classes rather than on-campus sessions due to their accessibility. In my assessment, this shift brings forth both advantageous and detrimental consequences.

On one hand, it’s worth acknowledging that virtual classes offer numerous benefits. Firstly, convenience stands out as a tangible advantage in distance learning. This approach empowers more students to enroll in courses regardless of factors such as age, location, race, or gender. It encourages them to study according to their personal interests and circumstances, fostering a pace that suits their learning style and maximizing efficiency. Additionally, remote learning enables access to courses from esteemed educational institutions regardless of geographical distance, eliminating the need for expenditure on transportation and accommodation. Secondly, the storage capacity of online learning platforms positively impacts study materials. Content and lesson materials can be seamlessly captured, screen-recorded, and stored without limitations, allowing for easy retrieval and flexible revision, unconstrained by traditional study materials or locations.

On the flip side, there are potential drawbacks to internet-based programs. Primarily, students’ discipline can be negatively impacted by remote learning. The absence of uniform requirements, fixed schedules, and limited exposure to public settings might lead to potential repercussions on learners’ productivity and future careers. Moreover, the rise of academic dishonesty is a concerning disadvantage. Unfortunately, inadequate teacher supervision has led to instances of unethical behavior, such as copying documents, plagiarism, and manipulating test scores using advanced technology. These actions contribute to the development of undesirable habits, undermining the quality of learning and the reputation of reputable educational institutions.

In conclusion, the web-based training offered by renowned universities comes with both advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, finding a balance between online and offline methods is crucial for students to achieve a high level of proficiency in acquiring knowledge.

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