Marketing and promotion are the key for a successful business. To what extent do you agree?

In this contemporary world, it is believe that marketing and promotion are of utmost importance to reach a successful career. From my stance, although these factors play a crucial role in forming an outstanding business, there are much more elements that should not be overlooked.
Admittedly, brilliant marketing method along with broad promotion are fundamental for every business. In the past, since the dissemination of marketing and media is not as prevalent as it is today, a plethora of companies and enterprises had to face losses, leading to bankruptcy. Fortunately, the widespread impact of marketing enhances brand image as well as encourages more people to buy products, resulting in huge revenue gained from saling. For instance, KFC – a fast food brand, which is well-known for its captivating monthly marketing strategy, making a desired profit from branches in hundreds of nations in all over the world.
Nevertheless, I assume that more factors, such as high-qualified staffs and plentiful budget, also make a significant contribution in forming the solid foundation of a business. To commence with, well-trained staffs are the main source to create productivity and function intensive work. In other words, staffs which are educated to work dedicatedly and professionally bring benefits for the enterprises by using their knowledge and valuable experience to create ubiquitous strategies. As a result, the institutions can navigate to long-term prosperity and a brighter outlook with high-quality products. For example, Apple – a global technology group, which is known for tough recruitment requirements to select high-qualified workers. Furthermore, a stable development requires a good budget to ensure that the companies have the ability to thrive in fierce competition. This is because a huge budget contributes to recoverying from financial crisis, allocating to taxasion, and reinforce the accountability of shareholders, which are of great significance for a company to survive in a competitive market.
In conclusion, although marketing and promotion are essential for a developed company, I firmly believe that more elements are required for a comprehensive business.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"it is believe" -> "it is believed"
Explanation: Correcting the verb form from "believe" to "believed" aligns with the passive voice required in the sentence structure, enhancing grammatical accuracy and formality.
"of utmost importance to reach a successful career" -> "essential for achieving career success"
Explanation: Replacing "of utmost importance to reach a successful career" with "essential for achieving career success" streamlines the phrase and uses more precise language, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"there are much more elements" -> "there are many more elements"
Explanation: Correcting "much more" to "many more" addresses the grammatical error of using "much" with a plural noun, improving the sentence’s grammatical correctness and formality.
"brilliant marketing method along with broad promotion" -> "effective marketing strategies and extensive promotion"
Explanation: Replacing "brilliant marketing method" with "effective marketing strategies" and "broad promotion" with "extensive promotion" uses more precise and formal terminology, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"a plethora of companies and enterprises had to face losses" -> "numerous companies and enterprises faced significant losses"
Explanation: Changing "a plethora of" to "numerous" and "had to face" to "faced" simplifies and clarifies the sentence, making it more direct and formal.
"salig" -> "sales"
Explanation: Correcting the typo "salig" to "sales" ensures the accuracy of the text and maintains professionalism.
"in all over the world" -> "worldwide"
Explanation: Replacing "in all over the world" with "worldwide" is a more concise and formal expression, suitable for academic writing.
"high-qualified staffs" -> "highly qualified staff"
Explanation: Correcting "high-qualified" to "highly qualified" and "staffs" to "staff" fixes grammatical errors and improves the formality of the language.
"function intensive work" -> "intensive work"
Explanation: Removing "function" from "function intensive work" corrects the redundancy and enhances the clarity of the phrase, aligning it with formal academic style.
"staffs which are educated to work dedicatedly and professionally" -> "staff members who are trained to work diligently and professionally"
Explanation: Replacing "staffs" with "staff members" and "educated" with "trained" and "dedicatedly" with "diligently" refines the language to be more precise and formal, suitable for an academic context.
"ubiquitous strategies" -> "comprehensive strategies"
Explanation: Changing "ubiquitous" to "comprehensive" uses a more appropriate adjective that accurately describes the breadth and scope of strategies, enhancing the academic tone.
"recoverying from financial crisis" -> "recovering from financial crises"
Explanation: Correcting "recoverying" to "recovering" and "crisis" to "crises" fixes grammatical errors and aligns with standard English usage, improving the formality and accuracy of the text.
"allocating to taxasion" -> "allocating to taxation"
Explanation: Correcting "taxasion" to "taxation" fixes a spelling error, ensuring the text is free from typographical mistakes and maintains professionalism.
"reinforce the accountability of shareholders" -> "strengthen shareholder accountability"
Explanation: Replacing "reinforce the accountability of shareholders" with "strengthen shareholder accountability" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, making it more direct and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by acknowledging the importance of marketing and promotion while also arguing that other factors contribute to business success. The introduction clearly states the author’s position, indicating agreement with the idea that marketing is important but also emphasizing that it is not the sole factor. The body paragraphs provide relevant examples to support this dual perspective, such as the discussion of KFC’s marketing strategies and Apple’s recruitment practices.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit breakdown of the extent to which the author agrees with the statement. For instance, the author could quantify their agreement (e.g., "I agree to a large extent") or provide a more nuanced discussion of how marketing and promotion compare to other factors in terms of their impact on business success.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that marketing and promotion are important but not the only factors for business success. This position is articulated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be more assertive, such as in the transition between discussing marketing and other factors, which could lead to slight ambiguity about the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the author should use more definitive language when stating their position. Phrases like "I believe" or "it is clear that" can help reinforce their stance. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly back to the main argument would help maintain a consistent position throughout.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to marketing and other business factors, supported by examples. The discussion of KFC and Apple effectively illustrates the points made. However, some ideas, such as the role of a good budget, could be further developed. The explanation of how a budget contributes to business success is somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. For instance, when discussing the importance of a budget, the author could include statistics or case studies that demonstrate how financial stability has led to success for specific companies.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay remains focused on the topic of marketing and promotion in relation to business success. However, there are instances where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For example, the mention of "high-qualified staffs" could be more explicitly linked back to how this factor interacts with marketing and promotion.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument of the essay. This can be achieved by explicitly connecting each factor discussed to the overall thesis, perhaps by reiterating how each contributes to or detracts from the effectiveness of marketing and promotion in achieving business success.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced argument, it could be improved by clarifying the extent of agreement with the prompt, using more assertive language, providing deeper support for ideas, and ensuring that all points are directly related to the central thesis.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the importance of marketing and promotion in business success while also acknowledging other critical factors. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are structured to first support the importance of marketing and then to introduce additional elements that contribute to business success. However, the transition between the points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing marketing to discussing staff qualifications feels somewhat abrupt and could benefit from clearer linking phrases.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For instance, after discussing marketing, a sentence like "However, it is essential to recognize that marketing alone cannot guarantee success; other factors also play a pivotal role" would create a smoother transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s stance, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into the importance of marketing and other factors. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus. For example, the second paragraph combines several ideas about marketing without clearly delineating between the impact of marketing strategies and the historical context provided.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting sentences directly relate to this idea. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence that encapsulates the main point, followed by supporting details. This will help maintain clarity and focus throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "admittedly," "for instance," and "nevertheless," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the use of "this is because" introduces a reason but could be enhanced by varying the types of cohesive devices used to link ideas more effectively.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently" to create more nuanced connections between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help maintain cohesion without repetitive phrasing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on improving transitions between ideas, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with terms such as "utmost importance," "plethora," "dissemination," and "high-qualified." These words indicate an ability to use more sophisticated language. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be expanded further to enhance the essay’s depth. For example, phrases like "brilliant marketing method" could be improved by using more varied adjectives or synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should consider incorporating synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of "brilliant marketing method," alternatives like "innovative marketing strategies" or "effective promotional techniques" could be used. Additionally, exploring industry-specific jargon related to marketing and business could further enrich the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "brand image" and "long-term prosperity." However, there are also instances of imprecise usage, such as "high-qualified staffs" and "recoverying from financial crisis." The term "high-qualified" is not standard; the correct term is "highly qualified." Moreover, "recoverying" is a misspelling of "recovering," which detracts from the overall clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using established phrases and correct grammatical forms. For instance, changing "high-qualified staffs" to "highly qualified staff" would improve clarity. Additionally, reviewing vocabulary usage in context and ensuring that terms are used correctly will help in achieving greater precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a moderate level of spelling accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect the overall impression. Words like "believe" (should be "believed"), "saling" (should be "selling"), "taxasion" (should be "taxation"), and "recoverying" (should be "recovering") indicate areas where spelling needs attention.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as reading extensively and writing frequently. Utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading the essay before submission can also help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with some sophisticated expressions, there are areas for improvement in terms of vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "Although these factors play a crucial role in forming an outstanding business, there are much more elements that should not be overlooked" effectively convey nuanced ideas. However, the essay also contains some simpler structures, such as "KFC – a fast food brand, which is well-known for its captivating monthly marketing strategy," which could be restructured for greater complexity. The use of relative clauses is present but could be expanded to include more varied forms, such as conditional sentences or participial phrases.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences (e.g., "If a company invests in marketing, it may see increased sales") and varied clause types. Additionally, practicing the use of inversion or fronting could enhance the complexity of the writing. Engaging with resources that focus on advanced sentence structures can provide further insights and examples.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, "it is believe" should be "it is believed," indicating a tense and form error. Additionally, "high-qualified staffs" should be corrected to "highly qualified staff," as "staff" is a collective noun that does not take a plural form in this context. Punctuation is mostly accurate, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which" in non-defining relative clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those targeting common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help clarify meaning and improve the overall readability of the essay. Reading high-quality academic writing can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to specific areas of improvement can elevate the writing to a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical precision, the writer can strengthen their overall argument and presentation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this contemporary world, it is believed that marketing and promotion are of utmost importance for achieving career success. From my stance, although these factors play a crucial role in forming an outstanding business, there are many more elements that should not be overlooked.

Admittedly, brilliant marketing methods along with effective marketing strategies and extensive promotion are fundamental for every business. In the past, since the dissemination of marketing and media was not as prevalent as it is today, numerous companies and enterprises faced significant losses, leading to bankruptcy. Fortunately, the widespread impact of marketing enhances brand image as well as encourages more people to buy products, resulting in huge revenue gained from sales. For instance, KFC – a fast food brand, is well-known for its captivating monthly marketing strategy, making a desired profit from branches in hundreds of nations worldwide.

Nevertheless, I assume that more factors, such as highly qualified staff and a plentiful budget, also make a significant contribution to forming the solid foundation of a business. To commence with, well-trained staff members are the main source of productivity and intensive work. In other words, staff who are educated to work diligently and professionally bring benefits to the enterprises by using their knowledge and valuable experience to create comprehensive strategies. As a result, the institutions can navigate towards long-term prosperity and a brighter outlook with high-quality products. For example, Apple – a global technology group, is known for its tough recruitment requirements to select highly qualified workers. Furthermore, stable development requires a good budget to ensure that companies have the ability to thrive in fierce competition. This is because a huge budget contributes to recovering from financial crises, allocating to taxation, and strengthening shareholder accountability, which are of great significance for a company to survive in a competitive market.

In conclusion, although marketing and promotion are essential for a developed company, I firmly believe that more elements are required for a comprehensive business.